By the time we’re done the afternoon session in the lounge, I’m more than ready to start packing up my shit. It’s been what feels like forever since I’ve lived in an actual apartment. I had a great one in the heart of New York City before I up and left. Now, I’ll be lucky to find something half as nice for the same money.
“Are you still worrying about the apartment?” Dom asks, as we walk toward the solarium.
He was smart and held onto his place, renting it out to his cousin while we’ve been gone. Had my head been in the right place before we left, I could have done something similar. “Na, I’m good. It’ll work out once we’re home. It’s just hot as hell out here and we’re not exactly dressed for it.”
“I hear ya. I swear I spend more time walking around these decks looking for Gina than I do sleeping.”
“I’m tired as fuck,” Lane adds. Although he’s not looking too sorry about not getting enough sleep considering he has a shit eating grin plastered across his face. He’s said very little about Noelle other than he wishes they had more time to fuck before the trip ended. For Lane, that’s practically a proposal. Out of all of us, he’s the one who fears commitment the most.
After we scour the solarium and the surrounding deck, we still come up empty. I’m about to go back to my room and wait for Lark to come to me, but Dom stops dead in his tracks, shaking his head back and forth. “I think I might know where they are.”
“Where?” Lane and I answer in unison, the sun already getting to us.
He points to the stop of the narrow staircase leading to the one place on this ship I have never ventured. “You’re serious?”
“Gina’s gone before. She said she stopped, but I know she still comes up here. It’s like her little bit of forbidden freedom.”
“And you don’t care?”
“I can’t stop her if I’m working. It’s not like I want other men looking at her tits, but it does have its benefits. She comes back to the room horny as fuck every single time.”
“Well in that case, I can probably pinpoint when she comes here, too. Walls aren’t as thick as you think, Dom. Now, are you going up there or am I?”
He holds out his arm, stopping me from taking another step toward the staircase. “You’re not going up there and seeing Gina naked.”
“I’ve seen Gina naked. Lane has, too.” Call it a bonding experience for Midnight Fate, or call it reckless intoxication. No matter what you label it, it was the culmination of too much liquor that resulted in never before seen dares and nudity. It also produced hangovers of epic proportions.
“Shit, I forgot. Considering I haven’t seen Lark or Noelle, maybe you should go without me.”
Lane laughs, acting like he could care less who sees who. He operates by the motto, if you show me yours, I’ll show you mine. Surprising us both, he ends up being the voice of reason. “Either way, one of us is seeing someone else’s girl naked. There’s no way around it, but I’ll take one for the team if you want me to.”
Both Dom and I glare at him, his logic fucked up yet on point. “I guess we’re all going up. Keep your eyes on your own girl, got it? And unless you want one of them to serve your dick to you for dinner, don’t let your eyes wander to anyone else up there. Even if it’s that hot waitress from Switzerland, got it?”
“Deal. Blinders on.”
I take the lead, walking slowly up the ten stairs to the top of the deck. How did I not know this deck existed? I try to take my own advice, keeping my eyes solely on Lark, but once the girls are in full view, I scan the area to see who’s watching them.
Side by side, we move with purpose to their group of chairs. It’s only when we block their afternoon sun, casting shadows over them, that Lark realizes they have company. She sits up so fast, her sunglasses fall from her face. “Easton! What time is it?”
I open the towel draped over the end of her chair, laying it across her exposed body. She clenches it close to her, her cheeks becoming redder than her sunburn. “We finished work about thirty minutes ago. Been looking for you three since.”
“Shit!” She looks to Noelle and Gina who are asleep in their chairs before turning back to me. “I lost track of time, I wasn’t expecting you to come up here.”
“No?” I question, keeping my voice smooth—neither angry nor pleasant. “You figured I was at work, so what did it matter how I would feel about this, right?”
She swallows hard and reaches for her bag. Not bothering to put her suit back on, she slips her dress over her head and stands up. “It wasn’t my idea. They wanted to come.”
“And you came.”
“Well, yeah. I wasn’t going to sit downstairs by myself all day. Why are you making me feel so guilty about this? I’m an adult. I can make my own choices.”
“Clearly.”
“Easton, seriously? Please, don’t get mad about this.”
“You’ll know when I’m mad, Lark. This is me being reasonable.”
“Reasonable? I think you’re being an asshole.”
“Well, if wanting my girl clothed in public is a crime, then take me to jail.”
“You’re ridiculous.” She pushes past me, rolling her eyes as she goes.
Gina claps her hand once the show is over, her tits still out for the world to see. “Nice job, East.”
“Stop corrupting her and this shit won’t happen.”
“It’s called living, experiencing new things outside your comfort zone. You can’t keep her in a little bubble for the rest of your life. That girl is determined, successful, and she wants to tackle the world. There’s no way she’s bowing down to your ass all the time. It’s part of the reason I like her so much.”
Noelle, equally as naked, reaches over and high fives Gina before adding to this enlightening conversation. “I still can’t believe I got her here in the first place. Getting her to leave her precious clients at work was one thing, but trying to convince her she could find someone to spend the rest of her life with was nearly impossible. She only came to shut me up after I told her it would be her fault if I ended up an old woman with thirty cats. She’s petrified of cats. Anyway, I didn’t expect her to end up with the lead singer of Midnight Fate, but either way, someone else’s mistake turned into our misfortune. I’m glad the ship screwed up the test.”
Here I am expecting to take Lark back to New York with me once we get off the ship, assuming she has nothing better to go home to. After this conversation with Noelle, I realize I have no clue what her life is like on dry land. We discussed Grant, and got that out of the way, but like it or not, Lark’s going home, and it’s not going to be with me.
I’ve been so focused on figuring out how to talk about Shay on top of figuring out the contract, I didn’t take the time to ask the right questions. I need answers. Now.
Not saying another word to any of them, I turn around and don’t stop moving until I’m at the pool bar where Aki’s working. He sees me and nods his head, letting me squeeze in next to him. “I need a bottle of whiskey.”
He continues working on the drink he’s making, only asking, “How much have you had?”
“None, but there’s a good chance I’m going to need the whole bottle by the time this day’s over.” Just when I think luck’s on my side for a change, another obstacle’s thrown in my way. I was so close to the end—to having what I wanted I could taste it. I got ahead of myself.
“Shit. Take the one on the shelf, but you didn’t get it from me if you end up getting your ass in trouble. Whiskey’s not your friend, East. Remember that.”
He’s seen me after too much whiskey on more than one occasion. His warning is warranted. “I won’t say a word. Thanks, man.”
“No problem. Don’t forget to say goodbye before you go. I’ve heard you’ve been set free.”
“Yeah—I think it’s time. The band does, too.”
“Good luck.”
“Thanks.” I don’t bother going back to my room. I go straight to Lark’s. She might not let me in, but she’s going to talk to me one way or another. We have a lot to figure out and not a lot of time to do it.
Of course when I knock on her door, there’s no answer. There’s a chance she’s not inside, but there’s an even better one she’s ignoring me. As soon as I spot a room steward, I find my answer. One flash of my smile, and her cheeks flame red. “You’re the rocker,” she says, shyly.
“That’s me,” I tell her. “I have a little problem I was hoping you could help me out with. My friend forgot to give me the key to the room. Can you let me in?”
She cautiously looks at the room door. There’s no doubt she wants to give me anything I want, but she’s also aware of ship policy. Going against that could cost her the job she desperately needs. Not everyone on this ship is running away. Most of them are trying to provide a better life for their families, spending months, even years apart at times. It makes putting her job in jeopardy a total asshole move on my part. “I work here, too. I wouldn’t get you in trouble.”
That’s enough to convince her because she reaches into her pocket and pulls out a master keycard. With one slip in the slot, the light on the door changes from red to green. “Don’t make me regret this,” she whispers, before turning and walking away.
Quietly, I enter the room, listening for Lark. The shower’s running, and I’m hopeful that’s the reason why she didn’t answer the door. With the bottle of whiskey in my hand, I sit on the bed and wait. I wait for the end of us, or I wait for the beginning.
It’s only another couple minutes before the bathroom door opens and Lark steps out with a towel wrapped around her body. She doesn’t see me at first, but when she lifts her head, she jumps. Her towel falling to the floor around her feet. I want nothing more than to make her leave it there. To make her come to me and show her exactly why I am the only man who will ever see her naked body again. But that tactic won’t work—not today. Today, it has to be about more than sex if I want to keep her.
As painful as it is, I don’t say a word as she bends and picks it up, securing it under her arm. “How did you get inside my room?”
“I have my ways.”
“Stop being evasive. Just talk to me if you have something to say.”
I smirk, mostly because she’s hot when she’s worked up. Not because I’m laughing at her. “I had the steward open the door for me.”
“I could report the both of you!”
“Doesn’t matter. I quit yesterday. I’m a free man.”
“You quit?”
“My contract was up as of tomorrow. Either I stay or I go.”
“Okay, so you decided to go home. I pretty much already knew that. Is the whiskey to celebrate? I’m not in the mood to get wasted, but if you need it more than I do, go for it.”
She watches me, waiting for me to open the bottle in my hands, but I don’t. I motion for her to sit down next to me. She hesitates, but inches closer, her worry lines returning. It makes me realize how much stress we’ve been through this week. I should be thankful she’s not kicking me out right now.
“What’s wrong Easton?”
I’m learning Lark doesn’t have an evil bone in her body. She would rather make sure I’m okay than yell at me. “I didn’t like you being naked.”
“Pretty sure we established that up on the deck. When you made me feel like a child in front of everyone.”
I pull her between my legs, my hands resting on her hips. “You called me an asshole.”
“Because you were acting like one.”
“I have a lot on my mind, I guess. You feel different and I can’t figure out if it’s because the cruise is about to end, or if it’s because of what I shared with you about Shay. Maybe it’s neither of those things and I’m imagining it.”
“What about the nude sunbathing? You don’t think that has anything to do with it?”
I shake my head because I realize I’m already over it. “That’s never what was bothering me.”
“Okay, you’re not mad?”
“I don’t like other men seeing you naked. That doesn’t exactly make me happy. It doesn’t make me want to end it with you either. You’re beautiful, Lark. I can’t help it.”
“That’s ridiculous—you’re you. I’m not even on your level, but thank you for not holding it against me. It was an experience—one that I don’t care if I ever have again.”
“Is that how you see us, too? An experience?”
“I didn’t say that at all. Why are you putting words in my mouth?”
“I’m not. I’m trying to figure out what you want. The girl I was with last night wanted me. She wanted us. I need to figure out what that means come tomorrow morning. It’s been on my mind all day.”
She steps out of my hold, walking to the vanity and picking up her brush. Staring in the mirror, she runs it through her wet hair. “We should have talked about the contract last night, but I got scared. I wanted to live in this dream world for a little bit longer before reality came crashing down on me again. I didn’t press you for information because I wanted to pretend tomorrow would never come—that we could stay on this ship another week without any distractions—just me and you.”
“We’re out of time, Lark.” I get where she’s coming from, I want more time, too. And there were multiple opportunities last night for me to bring the contract up. I didn’t because I was nervous, too. Regardless, it’s time to figure this shit out.
“That’s what scares me.”
I don’t want her to be scared. It’s my job to take away her fears, not add to them. Only I’m still getting used to the idea of her. I didn’t expect to meet someone I didn’t want to let go this week. She was as much of a surprise to me as I was to her. “I fought the idea of you before I even met you. I was scared, too.”
“What do you mean?”
She waits for me to continue, and I stare at the bottle of whiskey in my hands so hard, I’m either going to smash the bottle between my hands or chug it before I get any of this out of my system. I start talking before either of those two things can happen. “Whiskey became my best friend. I tried to dull the pain and numb myself entirely, just to make it through the next day. I hit rock bottom a year ago. It’s taken me a long time to pull myself out of the dark hole that was consuming me, but I’m finally there. I’m here.”
“I’m glad, but what does this have to do with me? Or the bottle in your hands?”
“It has everything to do with you because you’re what pulled me out of the darkness. You’re what brought me back to life. I’ve been hanging in this limbo for the last couple months. I was content staying here and living a life I never really wanted for myself or for the band. Once you came into my life, I started wanting more than
this
. This isn’t good enough anymore. I want my life back, Lark, but I want you in that life.”