Rock the Heart (10 page)

I check my cell phone. The eighth text to Noel since his set ended still goes unanswered. He knows I wanted to leave for my parent’s house as soon as the show was over.  No doubt he’s pissed at me for missing the performance, but seeing him so soon after our fight would’ve been too much. I needed to get my head clear and think about what’s important to me. 

The last text I send says, I’m leaving without him.

I sigh and grab my overnight bag and step into the night air. Guess I’m going solo. I hop into the red Jetta we rented earlier to make the trip and toss my stuff on the passenger seat. Everything is such a mess, and I don’t understand how it even got this way.

Thirty minutes into my drive, I pull through an all night drive-thru and sit in the parking lot to eat. My eating habits as of late have been less than stellar, so it feels good to eat a carb induced meal. 

When I’m about fifteen minutes out from my parent’s house, I call my mom. “Hey, can you leave the door unlocked for me. I’ll be there soon.”

I glance at the clock on the dash. It’s well after midnight.

“Okay, sweetheart. I’ll try to wait up for you.”

I smile and tell her I love her. 

Right after I end the call, my cell chirps with a text message. My heart stops for a split second as I read Noel’s words.

Meet me on the dock. 

He’s there, waiting on me. Emotions flood me, and I don’t realize I’m speeding like a bat out of hell until I glance down at the speedometer. I take a deep breath and try to mentally prepare myself for what I’m going to say to him.

The minute I pull into my parent’s driveway, I exit the car and head down to the dock. It’s really dark out here. I could kick myself for not grabbing the flashlight from the house first, but I’m almost through the wooded area behind my childhood home—it doesn’t make sense to turn back now. I’m too close.

The clock on my cell flashes 12:45am, and I sigh. This is crazy. I can’t believe he came, not to mention he’s waiting at our special spot. When he didn’t answer me earlier, I figured he was out licking shots off a groupie’s stomach or something equally as wild.

Insecurity is one of my biggest downfalls and I know it. It’s the main reason I ended things with Noel. I wanted a secure future, not to struggle day in and day out.

Two steps later I’m at the top of the hill on a path leading down to the lake. The moonlight bounces off the ripples on the water. I forgot how beautiful it is after dark. My eyes strain down at the dock, and they instantly widen. 

There he is, sitting on the railing with his elbows resting on his knees. 

He turns his head toward me, and my heart stops. Noel is breathtaking by the light of the moon. This feels very intimate and very familiar. I know once I go down there, I’ll be a goner. 

That last thought makes me want to turn and run back to my car as quick as I can, but, instead, I lift my chin high and force my feet forward, ready to figure this thing out between us. 

Noel stands when my shoes hit the wooden dock. His perfect face stretches into a lazy grin as I near. My heart speeds up a notch, and I bite the inside of my cheek. He actually looks happy to see me, which takes me back. I thought he was pissed at me for all the mixed signals.

I lift my hand in a wave. 

“What’s this waving shit?” He rushes over and grabs me around the waist and hoists me off the ground. 

The laugh that bubbles out of my throat surprises me as he spins me around. I prepared for another fight. How weird is it that we can hug and laugh like there isn’t bad blood between us? I squeeze my arms around his neck and inhale his manly scent as I melt into his muscled chest. 

“Noel,” I squeal and a thrill shoots through me as I say his name. “I’ll be sick.”

That only makes him laugh harder as he stops spinning and sets me to my feet. His hand cups my cheek. “God, Lane. I’m an idiot. I’m sorry.”

I sigh audibly, and instantly I wish I could just curl up in and ball and die from pure embarrassment. I can’t believe I actually swooned a little just now. I try to drop out of his gaze, but his hand holds me steady as he waits for me to say something. Noel raises an eyebrow. “Is it okay that I’m here? You don’t hate me?”

Oh my God. Hate him? I think about Noel like a love-sick puppy, but there’s no way in hell I’m telling him that. How pathetic would that make me if he thinks I’ve sat around all evening pinning for him? So, instead, I smile and say, “I could never hate you.”

He tucks some hair behind my ear. “Good because that would kill me. I’m sorry I tried to rush you. Relationships take time. I get that. It’s just I want you so much. I don’t think clearly when it comes to you. So, I’m sorry. I’ll try and slow down.”

Still locked in his arms, my fingers itch to touch his face. “I’m sorry, too.” 

Noel cocks his head to the side and gazes down at me with his blue eyes. “You know, I understand where you were coming from when you left me last time we were here. Hell, even I’m surprised I made it in this biz. You were always the level headed one.” He smiles and looks into my eyes. “But I’m sorry for that, too—for the way things turned out. I should’ve gone after you—made things right between us. That we could still work. I didn’t know that’s how you felt about me, and it killed me. I didn’t even know how to fix us after that.”

I shook my head. “It wasn’t totally your fault, Noel. Things were all changing so fast—high school was ending and becoming an adult scared me. I wanted you to come to school with me—to still be with me. I was being selfish. I shouldn’t have been so pushy. I knew who you were and I shouldn’t have tried to change your dream. It was wrong of me, and I’m sorry.” I let out a huge sigh. “I’ve wanted to tell you for so long, but I figured since you never spoke to me again after that night out here on the dock, that you hated my guts.”

The corners of his lips turn down and his fingertips trace my cheek. “I could never hate you, either. I loved you.”

A tear slips from my eye at the sound of his words. A million pounds fly off my heart. He doesn’t hate me. “Thank you,” I whisper. 

Noel brushes my eye with his thumb and then cradles my face in both hands. A smile flirts along his lips. My heart thunders with anticipation of a kiss, and I bite my lip. 

Noel’s eyes search my face. “Can I kiss you?”

I close my eyes and bite my lip. He has no clue how much I want to feel his lips on mine again. Every cell in my body quivers with need for this man, and it scares me a little to know he has this effect on me. It'll be easy for my heart to crumble if this doesn't work out.

I shake the last thought out of my head, and Noel frowns. “Is that a no?” I panic a little because I don’t want him to think I’m rejecting him again. This calls for immediate action.

I wrap my arms around his neck and pull my body against his. “Definitely not a no.”

That’s all it takes. 

Noel crushes his mouth to mine. The warmth spreads clear down to my toes as I melt into him. My lips part, and his tongue finds mine, slowly massaging. A sound catches in the back of his throat as I grip two handfuls of his hair in my fists and push my body against his. 

Noel’s hand slides under my shirt and his fingers trail along the skin on the small of my back. I shiver. Heat spreads through me and I find myself breathing hard. 

Noel grips both of my hips and then glides his touch down my legs. His fingers dig into my thighs as he hoists me up onto the rail. My knees open, and he pushes between them. His erection strains against his jeans as he grinds into me.  

He trails kisses down my neck and I toss my head back, arching my chest into him. 

“Oh God, Lane. I want you so fucking much.” A shudder tears through him as I moan in his ear. 

He grabs my chin between his forefinger and thumb. Blue eyes, alive with intense need, stare at me. He kisses my lips, and I close my eyes. He wants my permission to take it to the next level. All I have to do is say the words and he’ll heal this aching need inside of me. 

I lean in and trace his top lip with my tongue.  “I’ve missed you,” I whispered. 

Noel’s mouth takes mine—our kisses deep and frenzied. I wrap my legs around his waist and grind my pelvis into his. The wood rail is rough against my butt through my jeans. He pulls back and sucks in a quick breath through his teeth. “Are you sure?”

His forehead rests against mine. The need to kiss him some more is overwhelming. I smile and yank his face back to me. 

Noel grabs the hem of his black t-shirt and yanks it over his head. He tosses it on the dock. His bare chest is a wondrous sight to behold. The tips of my fingers glide down his pecs and stop to linger on his well defined abs. 

Noel quirks his right, pierced eyebrow and wears the most devilish smile I’ve ever seen. “You like those, huh?”

My tongue darts out, wetting my lips before I chew on my bottom one. Of course I like it. What red-blooded woman wouldn’t? He’s damn near perfect. I was out of my mind when I walked out on him before. 

His lips claim mine, and his tattooed arms pull me in tight. Noel lets out a growl in my mouth, and it’s unbelievably sexy to know I caused it to happen. I grab the waistband of his jeans and pop open the button. He groans as I slowly unzip them and reach inside. “No underwear?”

He shakes his head and then traces my top lip with his tongue. “They always seem to get in the way.”

I giggle as he kisses my throat. “Uh-huh? You mean like right now?” I wrap my fingers around the base of him and give a tight squeeze.

He sucks in air through his teeth. “Jesus. Exactly like right now.”

I withdraw my hand from his jeans and lick my fingers and the palm of my hand. Noels eyes widen. “Since when did you get so kinky?”

I shrug. “Since when did you decide underwear was a bad thing?”

I shove my hand back inside his jean and begin to stroke his considerable length. He gasps. “Point taken.”

His flesh is warm and solid in my hand. My hand barely wraps around it he’s so big. 

My pace increases, and Noel’s breathing grows steady in my ear. He wraps his long fingers around my wrist. “I’m already too damn excited. If you keep that up, I won’t be able to hold back much longer.” I slow my motion down, and he kisses my lips. “That’s it, baby. I wanna make this last. No need to rush.”

His words send a thrill through every inch of me. I can’t believe I’m this turned on already. The moisture in my panties presses against my skin. Noel’s hand slides under my shirt and trails its way up to my breast. All I can think about is him touching me. 

“It’s been so long since I’ve been with anybody real,” he says between kisses. 

That statement makes me wonder just how many non-real people he’s been with. He is a rock star for God’s sake. The numbers are probably well into the hundreds. 

My stomach turns a little at the thought of these lips all over tons of different women, and I fight back the urge to throw him off of me based on the principal alone. Sleeping with him tonight wasn’t my intention when I came out here. I figured we’d talk—figure things out. Instead, we’d barely talked five minutes before we’d gone straight into sex like we used to after a fight in this exact same spot.

“Noel…” His name slips out of my mouth almost like a moan. I meant it to come out stern so he would get the point maybe this wasn’t a good idea until we talked a little, but it totally didn’t sound that way. It sounded encouraging, like my body is enjoying his touch too much to turn him away. 

I open my mouth to tell him to slow down, and right on cue my cell phone rings in my pocket.
“Your mother is calling. Answer your phone. I’ll just keep calling.” 

Noel laughs at my stupid ring tone for my mom as I reach in my pocket and hit ignore.  

He sweeps my hair away from my neck and trails his nose against my skin. “Mmmmm, I’m tempted to just eat you right here.”

“Noel—”

“Your mother is calling. Answer your phone. I’ll just keep calling.”
I roll my eyes and hit ignore again. 

Noel rests his forehead against mine. “Maybe you should call her back. Could be important.”

I sigh and pull the phone out of my pocket.
Mothers
.

Mom answers on the first ring. “Lanie? Where are you? Are you all right?”

I roll my eyes again. “Calm down, Mom. I’m fine. Really.”

Noel snuggles against me and kisses my cheek while I explain to Mom that I am out on the boat dock with Noel. 

She sighs with relief. “Thank God you’re alright. I saw your car in the driveway and knew you hadn’t come in the house and started to panic. There are some real crazies out there, you know. You scared me to death.”

“Well, don’t worry. I’m perfectly fine. We’ll be there in a couple of minutes,” I say just before I tell her goodbye and hang up.

Noel’s lip pokes out a little, and he gives me puppy dog eyes. “You’re going to leave me like this?”

I place a hand on his chest. “I’m sorry, Noel. This just feels really fast, plus this whole job thing is still going on.”

His thumb caresses by cheek, and his eyes roam over me. I study every inch of his face. It’s so beautiful, and the sad look in his eyes will haunt me for the rest of my life. This rejection is not the best way to end our reunion, but I’m not sure sleeping with him is any better of a choice.  I can’t let him think I’m like all of his random groupies.