Rockies Retreat: Destination: Desire, Book 5 (14 page)

“Gossip goes without saying.” Helen flicked her fingers. “But I was worried about you when I heard, so I came over.”

He shoved his fists into the front pocket of his hoodie. “I thought you came to discuss your pages.”

“I’m a woman. I multitask.” She shrugged as if this was obvious.

“Of course.” But he didn’t want to talk about how things were going with Laurel, or his sense of failure as a parent and a person. Nope, those things were not on the table for discussion. So, maybe it was time to sidetrack his protégé in a big way. He’d gotten some important news for her that morning, but had wanted to wait to tell her in person. Her reaction was going to be too good to miss. “So…I’m recommending you to my agent.”

Her breath caught audibly, and for the first time in three months, she seemed utterly speechless.

“Actually, no,” he mused. “That’s not true.”

That breath whooshed out, but still no words were forthcoming.

“I already recommended you to him. And sent your first three chapters to him. I thought we’d polished them to a point that they were more than ready.” He watched her from the corner of his eye, thoroughly amused for the first time in days. When he thought she might be ready to explode from the waiting, he casually mentioned, “My agent would like to see the full manuscript, but thinks it’s at a point where he can start shopping the proposal to publishers. He’d like to speak to you over the phone when you have a free moment. He hoped tomorrow, one o’clock eastern time. Would you like his number?”

“Would I—” She all but picked him up she hugged him so hard. “Oh, shit! This is awesome. Neil, you’re the most amazing mentor of all time! You know you have the best agent in the business, right? You know he was on my never-going-to-happen list, right?”

He patted her shoulder, grinning at her fervor. “I know, but I think you’ll suit each other, and he’s got the contacts and clout to get you a kick-ass first contract. I think there’s a market for your work, and so does my agent, which is more important.”

“If I couldn’t sell it to a big publisher, I was going to self-publish it and hope for the best, but I really did want the traditional publishing route. That was always my dream, to see my books in stores, not just print-on-demand and ebook.”

“You’re babbling, Helen.”

“I know.” She hung on his arm as if she feared she’d fall. “It’s either that or cry.”

“No crying. Please.” He urged her down the road, grateful when he saw the mammoth bulk of the lodge come into view.

“I won’t. I won’t. I promise.” She sniffled several times as they walked, but managed to keep it together. “Oh, there’s Laurel and Mimi. I have to tell them.”

She dragged him along with her, though he didn’t exactly resist. It was a masochistic pleasure to see Laurel. She sat on the porch with Mimi. They’d propped their feet on the railing and each held a goblet of red wine. The two women went dead silent as Helen and Neil approached, which gave him a hint of what they might have been discussing. He doubted it had been flattering to him, and he felt heat flood his cheeks.

He nodded, keeping his voice even. “Mimi. Laurel.”

“Graves.” Laurel’s expression was as blank and smooth as glass, not a single emotion showing.

Mimi just nodded back, the most hostile look he’d ever seen morphing her normally friendly face. Yep, tales of his assholery had been told. He deserved nothing less, did he? He’d known what he was doing, and his plan had been effective. He was a piece of shit, and everyone knew it. Helen offered him a pitying glance, which he wasn’t sure was better than the hostility.

“Did you need something?” Laurel asked coolly.

Neil shrugged. “Helen had some news she wanted to share.”

That seemed to jog his protégé into speech. She blurted out her news and the three women squealed and hugged and babbled a rush of words he didn’t quite catch. They wouldn’t have welcomed his participation in the revelry, so he stood apart and watched the joyful merriment. Ostracism—something else he deserved.

His daughter chose that moment to pop out of the lodge, her eyes going wide as she took in the tangled three-way hug. “Hey, guys. You’re being loud. What’s going on?”

“Your dad hooked me up with his agent.” Helen sounded a bit breathy and quickly dabbed at her eyes. “But I’m not going to cry. Yet.”

Time for a topic change, because he was pretty sure Mimi had started tearing up and if one woman went, it’d turn into a gigantic sobfest. “How was the pool game with Ruth, honey?”

“We both suck at it.” Vi stuck her hands in her jean pockets. “But we had a good time.”

“That’s good.” He held out his hand and she came to loop her arm around his waist.

“I need to go tell my husband. And rescue him from the children.” Helen’s smile was radiant. “Oh, Vi, if you could babysit for me around eleven tomorrow while I talk to my new maybe-agent, I would kiss you all over your head.”

“Or you could just pay me my usual rate.” Vi’s nose wrinkled. “With no kissing or crying.”

“Gee, who does that remind me of?” Helen drawled.

“It’s, like, genetic. I can’t be blamed for DNA.” Violet grinned guilelessly, then turned to Laurel. “Walk back with us? It’s getting dark.”

She pushed back a lock of teal-streaked hair. “And someone might try to mug me?”

“A bear could eat you,” his daughter insisted. “Or a serial killer.”

“A serial killer could eat me?” Amusement lilted Laurel’s tone. “Man, you’ve been reading too many of your dad’s books. It’s warped you.”

She dimpled.

“I like it,” Helen mused. “I might have to put that in a novel.”

Vi arched her eyebrows. “Dedicate it to me?”

“It’s a deal.” Helen jogged down the porch steps. “Okay, I’m off. See you in the morning, when I will still be floating on cloud nine.”

“Good night!” Mimi picked up the discarded wine glasses, and cast Neil one last glare before she went inside.

Helen headed down one road while Neil, Violet and Laurel followed another in the direction of their respective cabins. Vi walked on Neil’s left and seemed to be bumping into him to nudge him toward Laurel on his right. She tensed as his arm brushed hers, and he bled inside when she sidestepped to avoid him.

Yeah, he really had fucked everything up, hadn’t he? But that had been his intention when he’d decided to end things. Everything in his life was up in the air—he was moving to God-knew-where and trying to overhaul his career path, but it was going to be at least another year before he dug out from all his current contracts. Even with a new as-yet-unhired assistant, he was going to be strapped for time for a good long while yet. She would hate that. It would remind her too much of her upbringing.

A clean cut was better for her.

They reached her place, and as much as he was tempted to linger, to have just a few more minutes in her presence, he made himself keep walking.

“Hey, Vi. Can you give us a sec?”

He froze in place, while his daughter blithely continued along. “Good night, Laurel! See you at breakfast!”

It took every ounce of courage he could muster to turn and face her. “You wanted to say something?”

The porch light shone stark on her countenance, casting her lovely face into shadows and light. Her mouth opened, then closed. He could see pain and anger in her gaze. Her mouth tightened and she shook her head. “So, that’s it? Wham, bam, thank you, ma’am, and now we’re done? I wasn’t even worth a mature breakup?” Tears shone in her eyes. “You didn’t care about me at all, did you?”

A lie that big couldn’t cross his lips, even though that would put a final nail in the coffin. So he did the one thing he could do—hauled her into his arms to claim a last, soul-searing kiss. Maybe he could burn the taste of her into his memory forever, so he’d never forget it.

One final taste. That was all he could allow himself.

She kissed him back, but her fist slammed against his shoulder, as much anger as passion in the contact. It was all lips and teeth and tongues. His hands were everywhere, molding her curves. His cock went rigid in seconds, a response that was as instinctive as breathing when she was near. Her fingers twined through his hair, her grip almost painful, sending prickles down his scalp. She changed the angle of the kiss, nipping at his lower lip. He couldn’t hold back a groan and cupped her backside to fit her tighter to him.

No. He needed to stop or he wouldn’t be able to. He’d drag her into her cabin and do something they’d both regret. He broke his mouth away from hers.

“I’m sorry, Laurel.” And then he ripped himself out of her embrace and made himself walk away.

He’d never hated himself more.

Chapter Eleven

This was it. The very last night. Her bags were packed, her canvases were crated up to be shipped. All but one. This one was a gift for Neil and Vi. And maybe just Vi if Neil continued to give her that blank stare he’d been aiming her way all week. He’d only managed a polite nod during the end-of-summer barbeque Mimi and Gloria had hosted for everyone. Ruth and Violet had kept the chatter going whenever they’d been together, thankfully, because Laurel couldn’t even look at him anymore. Especially not after that last kiss. She just wanted to crawl in a hole and die when he was nearby. It hadn’t helped that every single soul at The Enclave noticed the sudden distance between them.

She’d said goodbye to all the people’s she’d gotten close to, shook hands with her still-reclusive mentee, who’d thanked her profusely—for him—for all her help. That felt good. A lot of what was accomplished this summer felt good.

Except for one thing. One huge, massive, heart-wrenching thing.

Neil Graves.

She’d tried to talk herself down since their last kiss. They’d never intended for the affair to last after the program ended. No promises were ever made. She had no right to feel cheated, hurt, or let down.

Bullshit.

That was exactly the kind of mentality she’d operated under her entire life—she wasn’t good enough to deserve more, she should be willing to accept less than what she wanted from the people she loved.

It was time to get over that. Starting right now. Neil and she needed to have a talk, whether he liked it or not. She needed to tell him, flat out, how she felt, both good and bad. She doubted he’d care to hear it, but she wasn’t going to walk away feeling this soul-deep pain like she did when she had to visit with her parents. It was tempting to slink away with her tail tucked between her legs, but she’d promised herself she’d be braver with her heart, that she’d reach for what she really wanted.

So, she needed to make that reach. She was probably going to fall on her face, but she intended to speak her piece, and even though she loved him, she also deserved to be treated better than he had the last week. She had more than earned a proper goodbye and at least a thank you for being a kick-ass friend to both Graveses over the summer. He owed her that much.

“You can do this, Laurel. You can do this.”

Yeah, she was talking to herself now. It helped gird her loins.

She hoisted the painting into her arms and exited her cabin. Dinner had been a couple of hours ago, and the sun was starting to set. The lights were on next door, so she knew they hadn’t left to visit anyone. It felt like the longest walk of her life to travel the short distance between her place and theirs. Her knees actually trembled, and if she weren’t holding the canvas, she was fairly sure her hands would be shaking. Nerves pinged through her, and her stomach did summersaults. Her heart pounded so loudly, it drowned out the twilight sounds of the surrounding forest.

Part of her dreaded the coming confrontation and part of her wanted to kick Neil Graves’s cute butt from here into the next state. No matter what, they were going to have this discussion. Even if she had to drag him out of his cabin by the ear to make him listen to what she had to say.

“Laurel!” Violet threw the door wide before Laurel reached it. “What do you have there?”

“A going away present. May I come in?”

“Like you need to ask.” Vi rolled her eyes and held open the door. Neil appeared behind his daughter, watching Laurel steadily, and not protesting when she stepped into the house. Vi danced around her. “Is that a painting? Is it for us? OMG! Dad, we have a Laurel Patton piece. Can it hang in my room in our new house?”

“Sure, it can hang in your room.” Neil’s grin was indulgent.

So he didn’t have to look at it? Laurel shook that thought away and pulled the canvas out from under her arm. “You haven’t even seen it yet. You might want to hang it in the attic if you don’t like it.”

“I love it,” Vi said staunchly, before Laurel even turned the painting around for her to see. “All your work is amazing.”

“I wish that were true.” Laurel set the canvas on top of the desk, propping it against the wall and stepping back. “But I love you for saying so.”

Vi laced her arms around Laurel’s waist. “I love you too. I’m going to miss you so much.”

“Me too, sweetie.” She bent to hug the girl closer, emotions clogging her throat and making the backs of her eyes burn. “Me too. But I’ll come visit soon.”

“Promise?” Vi whispered in her ear.

Laurel nodded and held the teen tight, rocking her a little. “I promise.”

They pulled back and both of them swiped at their eyes. Vi managed a little smile and gestured to the canvas. “Well, I’ll get to look at your painting every day until then. It really is the bomb.”

“I’m glad you like it.” Laurel glanced quickly at Neil, whose expression was unreadable. “I’ll crate it up and ship it to whatever address you’d like. I have the one in LA, but if you’d rather I—”

“The one in LA is fine,” he interjected. “It’ll take us some time to move, and we still need to shop for a new place.”

“Okay then.” She drew in a giant lungful of air, and his gaze flickered for just a moment to her breasts. Well, at least that hadn’t changed. She met his gaze squarely. “I’d like a private word.”

“I can go. Ruth asked me to spend the last night at her house anyway and I said I’d check.” Vi glanced between her dad and Laurel. “So…is that okay?”

Since it wasn’t clear who she was asking permission from, Laurel nodded while Neil said, “Sure. Have fun, baby.”

“I’m not a baby,” the teen huffed.

“I cleaned up your puke and changed your diaper, kiddo.” He dipped a shoulder in a shrug. “You’ll always be my baby, no matter how old you get. Deal with it.”

“Diapers, really? That’s nasty, Dad.” She made a gagging motion.

“It really was. Like this one time—”

“And I’m out. I’ll see you in the morning to say goodbye, Laurel.” She hugged Laurel, kissed Neil on the cheek, grabbed a pre-packed overnight bag from her room, and bolted for the front door.

Well, they were alone, though this wasn’t exactly what Laurel had had in mind. “You know how to clear a room, Graves.”

“Blood, death, gross,” he quipped.

A half-smile tilted up her lips. “I remember.”

“You wanted to talk.” He settled on the arm of the couch, crossing his arms over his broad chest. “I’m listening.”

“You were an ass to me this week. You hurt me and you did it on purpose.” Okay, not the classiest opening, but it got straight to the point. She lifted her chin, daring him to refute her.

“I know.” His tone was undefensive. “You’re right. I handled things badly. I’m sorry.”

“Good, but being sorry isn’t enough. I want you to tell me why.”

He nodded slowly. “We agreed that things between us would end at the end of summer. What happened with Violet made me realize that that really was best, though I bungled everything with her and you. I did—I do—care about you, Laurel. You were amazing to both my daughter and me, and I don’t think we’d have made it through without you. I know I’ll never forget you.”

The finality in his voice made her heart ache. He’d made his decision and that was it. But what else did she want? She’d gotten her thank you and goodbye. It was time to leave. He wasn’t interested in more than what they’d already had, he’d been clear about that.

But she hadn’t said everything she wanted, even if he’d said what she’d thought she wanted to hear. “Why is it best that we stop seeing each other? If you care about me and won’t forget me…why let it end? Just because we planned it that way? That seems ridiculous.”

“Please don’t make this harder, sweetheart.” For a split-second, utter torment filled his gaze, but then it was gone again, and the stoic mask was once again in place.

“You’re the one making it hard.” Moisture stung her eyes, blurring her vision. She blinked back the tears. “It’s our last night. I want to be with you.”

He straightened, rising to his feet. “It wouldn’t change anything.”

“Do you want me to leave or stay? It’s that simple.”

“Stay.” The word shot out of him. “But—”

“Shut up and take your clothes off, Neil.” She tugged her shirt over her head and tossed it at him. He caught it midair, and then he took in the fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra. The lust that flared in his gaze was nice, but sex wasn’t why she’d come over here. She looked him straight in the eye and made herself more vulnerable than she’d ever been in her life, knowing that she wasn’t going to get through this night unscathed. “I love you, Neil. I know you don’t feel the same. I know you’re leaving in the morning, but I needed to say it and needed you to hear it.”

“I hear you.” His voice was ragged, the hand holding her shirt hanging limply by his side.

“Okay then.” She flicked open the button on her jeans. “Let’s get busy.”

“Laurel, I—”

“Unless you’re going to say you adore me and want to marry me and live happily ever after, then I really don’t want to hear it.” She stepped toward him. If this was it, she intended to make the most of every second. She was going to glut herself on the feel of him over her, inside her.

“I just—” He shook his head, cutting himself off.

When she was close enough to touch him, she set her palm on his chest and slid it down his stomach to grasp his cock. He sucked in a breath as she stroked him through his pants. His erection grew thick and hard beneath her fingers, and when she looked up at his face, his eyes were pinched closed and he appeared as if he were in the throes of agony. He didn’t try to stop her or rush her, even when shudders began to wrack his big body.

“Enjoying yourself, Graves?”

“Yes,” he rasped. “Just letting you have your way with me.”

She tugged on his dick, making his eyes flare wide. “Let’s take this into the other room. I’m going to need a comfortable mattress for what I have in mind.”

After turning, she sauntered toward his bedroom. He followed so closely behind her that she could feel the heat of him against her bare back. Discarding her clothes along the way, she heard him do the same. Desire flowed through her, and each step made her thighs brush together, ratcheting up her need. She’d never wanted anyone the way she wanted him, and had one night to get her fill.

She was naked by the time she reached the nightstand and flicked on the lamp. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw he was both nude and flagrantly aroused. His cock danced in a hard arc below his navel. Very nice. She bit her lip and debated whether she wanted to start with a blowjob or get right to the main event.

His dark eyebrows rose. “Are you just going to stare?”

“Nope.” Without a word of warning, she planted her hands on his chest and shoved him back on the bed.

The surprised sound he made was cut off as he bounced against the mattress. He folded his arms behind his head. “What will you do with me?”

“Whatever I want.” She slipped onto the bed and knelt beside him. Curling her fingers around his dick, she gave him a siren’s smile.

Bending forward, she swirled her tongue around the bulbous crest, and he shuddered beneath her. His scent was warm and musky and erotic, and she grew even wetter, knowing how much he wanted her. Sucking him into her mouth, she took the length of him in until he nudged the back of her throat. He groaned and swore as she eased his cock from her mouth, then sank down again. Fast, then slow. Toying with him, making the speed too irregular to let him come. But it was more than enough to have him quivering with need.

His hand slid into her hair, trying to push her faster, but she resisted, humming a protest. As she’d intended, the vibrations along his shaft left him gasping. She liked the power of having him at her mercy. Considering she felt so helpless to stop him from ending their relationship, she’d take this opportunity to relish a little sensual revenge. She let her teeth scrape lightly against the underside of his cock, and felt him pulse in her mouth.

“Christ, sweetheart. I’m dying here.”

Lucky for him, she was done teasing. She needed him now. He panted when she let him slip from between her lips. She twisted around and reached for the condoms in his nightstand. After pulling a rubber out, she ripped it open and slipped it onto his erection. She spread her fingers over his chest, making sure to brush over his small nipples.

His breath hissed in and his fists balled in the sheets. “Please, Laurel.”

“Begging. Nice.” She gave him a cheeky grin. “But I want you on top of me.”

“Yes,” he groaned.

He hooked an arm around her waist, pulled her down beside him, and rolled atop her. His weight pressed her thighs to the mattress, and she felt the hot probing of his cock before he slid deep inside her. Yes, that was exactly how she wanted it. She linked her fingers behind his neck, holding him close.

“Make it good for me, Graves.” Because it was their last time. She didn’t voice the last part, but she could see on his face that he understood what she’d meant.

He arched one supercilious eyebrow. “Have I ever let you down in bed, Patton?”

She cinched her legs around his hips. “Don’t make this a first.”

“Never,” he vowed. And then he went about proving it.

After shifting to the left, he slipped a hand between them to fondle her breast. Her nipples contracted to stiff points, and the side he wasn’t touching was pressed to the curls on his chest—every time either of them took a breath, there was a slight rasp that turned her on even more. When his fingers zeroed in on her other nipple, pinching and rolling the taut crest, she bit her lip.

“Ah, ah, ah. That’s my job.” He released her breast to dip forward and catch her lip between his teeth. He slipped his tongue into her mouth, and she squirmed as white-hot lust simmered within her. She was so slick, so greedy for him.

While he kissed her, he began rotating his pelvis to grind against her clit. Each pass was a leisurely stimulation of that tight bundle of nerves. She pressed her hips higher to take him deeper, wanting more, wanting it now. He obliged her silent demand, withdrawing and plunging into her. She broke her lips from his, gasping for air. Her heart hammered in her ears, and her breathing rasped. “Neil!”