Authors: Ava Walsh
When Heidi woke up the next morning, she knew exactly where she was. She could smell Declan around her. She was in his room, on his bed. Her hand instinctively reached out for him, but he wasn’t there. The bed on his side was still warm, so he must have got up only a short while ago. The curtains were still pulled and the room was dark, and memories of the previous night came flooding in.
It was an experience that would last her a lifetime. She was simultaneously both glad she hadn’t picked someone else and at the same time worried that her inexperience had made her not good enough in bed. She wondered what he had thought of her. She had seen glimpses of anger in his eyes, as if he was being forced to have sex with her, as if he didn’t want to and wanted to stop, but couldn’t. He had been gentle and rough, dominant and tender…and she could still feel him inside her.
Heidi pressed her legs together and she throbbed. She wasn’t going to forget the previous night easily, especially since she was going to spend more nights in bed with Declan. What would they be like? Did she want to do it again? Had this changed their friendly open relationship? What relationship? They barely knew each other.
Heidi sat up in bed, forcing her limbs to move, and then the door opened. Maud entered with a tray of breakfast and the room filled with the smell of eggs and sausages.
“Here you go, miss. Mr. Declan is downstairs in his study,” Maud said, forcing a smile onto her disapproving face as she lay the tray of food next to Heidi on the bedside table.
“Thank you, Maud,” Heidi said, rubbing her eyes. She was sure Maud and everybody else in the house must have heard them last night.
“Have a good day, miss,” Maud said, with a slight nod of her head, and then she was gone, leaving Heidi alone with her thoughts again.
She stared at the food and realized she wasn’t hungry. What was Declan doing in his study already? Working? Did he always get up this early? Or, like her, had he not been able to sleep well the previous night?
Heidi ran her fingers through her hair. She remembered their legs touching in the night, him turning towards her and placing a lazy arm on her body, and then slowly pulling it away when he awoke. Did he detest her now? Was she just another one of his brash one-night stands?
Heidi picked up a piece of toast and chewed on it, then stuffed some scrambled eggs forcibly into her mouth. The orange juice she gulped down. Eventually she managed to get out bed, and realized she had nothing fresh to wear.
She looked around the room and eventually opened the closet that Declan had brought out the T-shirt from last night. A whole stack of them lay there, neatly arranged, and she picked out another one.
She found her jeans from the previous night in the bathroom and tucked the oversized T-shirt in before zipping them up.
She washed her face and her mouth, then tied up her hair in a thick ponytail and left the room.
The house was buzzing. She could hear a washing machine churning in the background somewhere and a vacuum cleaner in the living room. A young girl appeared from there as Heidi descended the stairs, and they exchanged smiles.
“Hi. Where’s Declan’s study?” Heidi asked her, stopping her in her tracks. The girl gave her a wry, knowing smile and then showed her the way. Heidi tried to give her a confident nod as the girl stared at Declan’s t-shirt.
Heidi found the study easily enough, and she waited outside the door for a few seconds, trying to prepare herself. She could hear the strum of a guitar from inside. When she knocked, the music stopped, and then his voice came through, telling her to “come in.” Just his voice was enough to stop her heart. She was more nervous about being around him than she had been the previous evening when they had first met. She’d lost her courage now. What did he actually want?
She walked in, pasting a cheery smile onto her face, and found him sitting on the floor. He was on the carpet with a guitar in his hands and a notebook in front of him.
“Morning,” she said, and stood looking down at him, her arms crossed behind her.
“Hi,” Declan said, looking up at her. He looked different from the previous evening. He’d showered and changed into casual clothes, and his blonde hair was still damp. He pushed the strands away from his face as he looked up at her, unsmiling.
“I took the liberty of putting on another one of your t-shirts. I still don’t have my clothes,” Heidi said, and he nodded.
“Sure. Help yourself. I’ll send Stuart to your apartment today. You can go with him, if you want,” he replied, pressing his fingers down on a chord. He was giving her the impression that he didn’t want her there for long, that she was troubling him with her presence.
“That’d be great. Listen, Declan…” Heidi was forming the sentences slowly. She was looking around her for some help. This needed to be sorted out before it spiraled out of control. Declan stopped fidgeting with the guitar and looked up at her, a blank expression on his face. He didn’t look like he wanted to talk about it. This wasn’t the Declan she had been introduced to the previous night. He wasn’t good-humored, funny or easy-going this morning. Something had changed in him. “I just thought we should clear the air,” Heidi said, frowning, a little upset that he wasn’t really helping her out or making it any easier for her to talk about such a sticky subject.
“You have nothing to worry about. It won’t happen again,” he said, and looked back at his guitar. Heidi let out a sigh, pursing her lips together. That was it?
“Alright. But…” she started to say, but he interrupted her.
“Look, I don’t know what I was thinking. I don’t want to blame the alcohol, but it definitely played a role,” he said. Heidi took a few steps towards him.
“It’s not like you forced me,” she said, surprised by her tone of voice. She sounded like she was trying to convince him that it shouldn’t end. That she wanted more.
“I know. But I shouldn’t have fucked my best friend’s sister. That’s just wrong. And David trusts me. He might pretend like he doesn’t, but he trusts me to not do something like this.” He was glaring at her. That same look of anger from the previous night had returned to his eyes. Heidi bit down on her lip. So this was what it was. He was upset that he had betrayed David.
“I’m my own person, Declan. I’m an adult human being, capable of making my own choices,” she said, placing her hands on her hips.
“Yes. But you’re still David’s sister. This won’t happen again. Besides, this is business. We have to live together for some time.” Declan was looking up at her with sullen eyes. It was hard for Heidi to tell what exactly he was thinking. He was angry, sad and upset all at the same time. It was not the best reaction to see in a man who had just taken your virginity!
“Fine. Yes, you’re right. Can we just be friends again, at least?” she asked him, and Declan raised an eyebrow.
“Of course. I like you. Any other girl, this would have been way too awkward,” he said, a sudden childish glimmer returning to his eyes. Heidi felt a wave of relief wash over her face. She had been hoping to see him smile again. Declan smiled then, the dimples on his cheeks reappearing as he played a chord on his guitar.
“I agree. Big relief,” she said, and faked wiping the sweat off her forehead. Declan laughed.
“Okay, good. I need some feedback. I’m trying to settle on a tune. Here, listen,” he said, and started strumming his guitar. Heidi couldn’t help the smile spreading over her face. He was himself again. She listened to him playing the tune and was nodding her head excitedly just as the door of the study flew open.
“Morning!” David announced, walking in with a spring in his step.
“Hello, hello,” Declan greeted him, ending his tune with a flourish.
“Is that the new one?” David asked, sitting down on one of the couches.
“Yep. Heidi likes it.” Declan started to get up off the floor.
“Speaking of which, how was your first night together?” David turned to his sister and Heidi could feel her ears going red and beginning to burn. She blushed and looked away from him, towards Declan, for support.
“It was good. We can do this, can’t we?” Declan came over and patted her on her shoulder like an old chum. Heidi felt her stomach churn. She was delighted by the touch, but the nature of the touch angered her. Just hours ago, he had been pumping into her, and now he was slapping her back like an old friend.
“So, nothing to report?” David asked, and Heidi turned to him, trying to smile.
“Nope. We just went to sleep and I woke up with breakfast in bed,” Heidi said.
“Glad to hear you’re being looked after. I can’t imagine that Maud is too happy.” David’s voice dropped, as if Maud was in the room with them. Declan laughed, as did Heidi. She knew what he was talking about. She had sensed the hostility from the moment she had stepped into the house.
“I think Heidi will be able to handle her. They might become great pals eventually,” Declan said. He walked away from her to the back of the room, where a large collection of vinyl were stacked in wall cabinets.
“So how should we spend the day today?” David asked, watching Declan moving around the room. Heidi had planted herself on the edge of a desk, her legs dangling off it. She was watching Declan move around the room too, yearning to feel his touch on her skin again.
“A makeover for Heidi?” Declan said, whipping around to look at the two of them. David exchanged looks with Heidi. She could start to feel fear creeping up. She hadn’t intended on this fake relationship with Declan leaving any permanent marks on her lifestyle.
“Sounds good,” David said, and Heidi rolled her eyes.
“Nothing too extreme, boys,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. Declan and David laughed.
“No, I’m serious. What makes you experts in women’s fashion, anyway? Maybe I should be allowed to control this makeover,” she said, looking from one to the other. She was absolutely serious, even if they weren’t taking her seriously.
“We might not be experts, but we’ll do a better job than you, sis,” David said, and Declan came over to exchange a high-five with him.
“How dare you?!” Heidi screeched, and jumped off the table. She lunged towards her brother to wrestle with him, until Declan came and broke them up.
“Like kids,” Declan said, holding them both apart. Heidi and David were laughing. For a few minutes, she had managed to forget the growing exasperations of her life.
“You know I’m only kidding, sis. You’re good at baking, I’m good at creating public personalities. We both have our strengths,” David said, pulling his sister close to him. Heidi smiled and nestled into her brother’s arms. He didn’t know it, but she definitely needed a hug. What she wanted was to be in Declan’s arms, but he only stood by watching the siblings with a pleased smile on his face.
Heidi caught his gaze and his smile slowly dropped, and then he looked away from her. He didn’t want to be reminded.
Heidi pushed the dark, bumble-bee glasses up the bridge of her nose. She hadn’t seen them yet, but there was no denying that the paparazzi would crop up soon enough. It had been three weeks of constant media attention and she had gotten used to it by now. She almost enjoyed it sometimes, but not today. Today she wanted to be left alone.
Despite her own misgivings, she knew the part she had to play. It was business, after all, as David and Declan kept reminding her, and she was going to have to carry it through until the end. They’d sold it to the media successfully and the fans had gobbled it up. Sweet girl next door Heidi Scott, Declan Xavier’s best friend’s sister. They were introduced at a party and quickly fell in love. Heidi was the girl who tamed Declan Xavier, the rock star who lived a life governed by no rules.
The paparazzi loved her because she posed for photos for them, and the fans appreciated her because she was always there by Declan’s side. They smiled, kissed and held hands in front of the camera. They were seen in public strolling in Central Park, going to the grocery store or sharing an ice cream cone. The public wanted to know everything about their relationship, and David’s meticulously-planned PR skills were so far working out great. Heidi was living the fairytale celebrity romance that girls all over the country wanted to live.
They’d cut her hair shorter than usual, into a sassy, wavy bob. She was wearing a pair of frayed denim shorts that showed off her carefully tanned long legs, and a thin cotton t-shirt that clung to her body and accentuated her curves. Heidi had her own fan base now, and they all wanted to know what she ate and where she worked out.
Heidi never left the house without makeup anymore. Even today, on her short walk to the drugstore, she had remembered to put on a pale coral lipstick and brighten her eyes with dark eyeliner.
She ignored the thoughts rolling around in her head, the panic that was starting to erupt. She had been getting sick every morning for the last few days. Declan always woke up early and left the room, which meant that he hadn’t yet caught her throwing up in the bathroom, but she was certain by now that this had not been caused by anything she had eaten.
Heidi pushed open the drugstore doors and rushed in. She saw what she needed. Two pregnancy tests, no, four for good measure. She kept the glasses on her face as she walked up to the counter. She paid in cash and shoved the tests into her large basket bag.
When she opened the door, the cameras were there.
“Are you sick, Heidi?” a reporter yelled at her, as cameras flashed.
“Heidi. Do you have a cold?” another paparazzi asked her, following her close on her heels. She could feel the sweat on her forehead. She was beginning to panic now. David didn’t know. Nobody knew. Everyone would lose their minds if they got the slightest hint.
“It’s just sunscreen lotion. See?” Heidi pulled a spare tube out from her bag and held it up for the reporters. She maintained the smile on her face, the sweet, delightful smile that the entertainment newspapers loved to write about. The paparazzi seemed to be happy with that response. They asked her to pose for a few shots, which she obliged them with, and then she waved at them as she walked away, back towards the house.
“Miss, Mr. David has been looking for you,” Maud greeted her at the door when Heidi returned.
“Thanks, Maud. Is he here?” she asked, dragging the glasses off her face. Maud reached for her bag, but she clung on to it. She’d even broken Maud, as Declan had predicted. Maud worshiped her now, happy that her beloved Mr. Declan had finally found a woman who could control him.
“No, but he said he’ll be back in a few hours,” Maud said, and Heidi walked towards the stairs.
“Let me know when he’s here. I’ll be in my room,” she said, as she headed towards the bedroom. She needed to be alone.
All four tests were positive. Heidi was pregnant, with Declan’s child. She put her head in her hands and tried to steady her breathing. That one night of weakness with him was now going to change their lives forever. How was she going to deal with this? Who could she tell? This had not been the plan, and David would lose his mind if and when he found out.
Heidi paced the bathroom floor, sweat trickling down her temples. Her hand went instinctively to stroke her belly. She was going to be a mother. Declan was going to be responsible not only for her bakery but also for giving her a child. She could never tell him. Panic rose in her chest. He would detest her all his life if he found out.
Heidi came out of the bathroom in a panic. She’d spent more than an hour locked up in there. Hurrying down the stairs from the bedroom, she ran into the kitchen. She was opening and closing closets, banging cutlery and plates, when Maud came in to find her covered in a cold sweat.
“What’s wrong?” Maud asked, concern coloring her voice.
“Where’s the flour? The eggs? Do you have some baking soda?” Heidi was in a daze. She was fumbling with her words.
“Calm down, miss. Why do you need those things?” Maud had walked up to her and was now patting her shoulder.
“I want to bake a cake,” Heidi said, looking at her with crazed eyes.
“Alright. We’ll bake something. Just calm down.” Maud was smiling at her with kind eyes. She could see that Heidi was having a panic attack.
The house smelt of key lime pie when Declan walked into the kitchen.
“What is that smell? Is that Heidi’s baking I detect?” He entered the room, rolling a set of keys around his forefinger. Maud smiled as she helped Heidi cut the pie into several pieces. Heidi looked up into Declan’s eyes and then immediately looked away.
“When can I sample some of that?” he asked, and came over to stand beside her. When they were not in public, he didn’t touch her. He was careful to behave normally with her, and they had long conversations in bed together, spoke about life and their childhoods and aspirations, but they never touched. She saw a look of sadness in his eyes sometimes, but he was quick to mask it.
“It needs to cool down.” Maud answered for Heidi, who was refusing to look at him.
“Give it to me in minutes. I’m drooling here,” he said, and dug a finger right into the middle of the pie. Heidi screeched loudly and both Declan and Maud looked at her in horror. There had been no need for that reaction.
“What’s wrong, Heidi?” Declan asked, concerned and worried. She had managed to calm herself down a little with the baking, but now seeing him had thrown her over the edge again.
“Can we talk, Declan?” she asked, wiping her hands on her apron.
“Sure thing,” Declan said, still frowning.
“I’ll go and see if the rose bushes need to be trimmed,” Maud said, and quickly walked out of the kitchen, closing the door behind her.
“What’s going on?” Declan turned to her again, crossing his arms over his chest. “That scream wasn’t just about the pie, was it? You’ve been on edge for the last few days.”
Heidi sighed, slowly taking the apron off her body and laying it on the kitchen island. It was hard to look at him and not melt instantly. Even now, after several weeks of living in the same house, she hadn’t got over how connected she felt to Declan. It had only grown stronger. She still couldn’t stop thinking about how good he looked naked, how gently he had held her that night.
“I’m just tired. And bored,” she said, forcing the words out of her mouth. He had tied his hair into a small ponytail at his nape. He was a tall figure, hovering over her as he stood close to her. He licked his lips and his blue eyes bored into her face. Declan was thinking, assessing the situation.
“Bored?” he repeated.
“I have nothing to do other than walk the streets of NYC and pose for pictures. I think we should talk to David about ending this.” She tried to whisper, aware that there could be someone listening. Declan frowned.
“You want this to end? It’s only been a couple of weeks.” He wasn’t speaking in whispers, and it was clear to see that the suggestion had surprised him.
“I know. But I miss my normal life.”
“But I thought you were happy here. What do you need?”
“I am happy here. But I’d be happier if I got back to my usual things.”
“Like waitressing?”
“No, like sleeping on my own bed, in my own apartment.” Heidi’s voice was a little raised now, and Declan had taken a few steps towards her. His face was twisted in frustration and surprise.
“But three weeks isn’t enough. That isn’t a solid relationship. That doesn’t prove anything. They’ll only hate me more.” Declan breathed out loudly and ran his hands through his hair.
“What do you want? This to go on for years?” she asked, and Declan shook his head.
“A few months? I don’t know. I thought this was working well.” He raised his voice and Heidi whipped away from him.
“I just want to return to my normal life now. That’s it. If you don’t want to pay the whole amount like we discussed, I’ll accept a partial payment.”
She heard him sighing and then pulling out a chair to sit down.
“This isn’t about the money or a business deal, Heidi. I thought we were having fun. I thought I’d made a genuinely good friend,” Declan said, and Heidi whipped around to face him.
“Of course this is a business deal. You’ve said it a hundred times to remind me.” She could feel tears stinging her eyelids. The last thing she wanted to do was cry in front of him.
“I said it because that’s what you said. The first evening when we met, remember? This stopped being a business deal for me when you walked into my house and told Maud off. I knew then that there was a friendship growing.” Declan stood up from his chair and walked towards her.
“I just want to go home.” Heidi pushed past him, afraid of what might happen if he came any closer than that.
The door of the kitchen flew open and David walked in. His face was as red and furious as Heidi’s was, and they both looked at him in surprise.
“What the hell, David? What’s happened to you?” Declan asked, his voice dying a little at the sight of David.
“David?” Heidi asked her brother, after he had been silent for a while, glaring at Heidi first and then at Declan.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Declan asked, and David turned to Heidi again.
“What?” she asked, afraid of the way her brother looked at that moment. What had happened to cause this reaction?
“Do you want to explain to me why you were buying pregnancy tests at the drug store today?” David asked, in a slow, grueling voice, stepping towards Heidi, who was now retreating into a corner of the kitchen.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Declan asked, in a thundering voice.
“Just what I said. Why do you need pregnancy tests, Heidi?” David repeated himself, not taking his eyes off his sister. Heidi felt at that moment like she was about to burst at the seams.