ROMANCE: Bear Naked Passion (Billionaire Bear Trio Book 2) (56 page)

The Right Kind of Love

The Right Kind of Love

Chapter 1

The alarm went off. Its shrill ring lanced through Helen's mind. She groaned as she cracked open her eyes and yawned. Her arm shot out to silence the ringing, and all was peaceful again. Shifting her position, she turned around and faced the empty space beside her. It had been a month since the divorce had been finalized but it was still strange, after so many years of marriage, to wake up in an empty bed. It shouldn't have been in many ways, since she and Michael had not had a close relationship for a long time before they were divorced. For a long time they had shared a bed, but there may as well have been a chasm between them as the sex was nonexistent, and Helen had almost forgotten what it had been like to be with another person, to share a depth of feeling that sprang up from the soul and connected them beyond the physical plane.

With a heavy sigh she dragged herself out of bed and to the bathroom where she washed herself. When Michael had first told her that he wanted a divorce, she felt strangely numb, as though she knew it was coming. It was only later that the emotions hit and the inner turmoil began. All she wanted to do was crawl into a safe, secure place and disappear from the world, but that simply wasn't possible. She had too many responsibilities.

After getting clean and putting on her outfit for the day, Helen glanced at the clock and shook her head as it was still before seven. Whipping herself up a quick breakfast, she tried to ignore the silence in the apartment and munched on her cereal. It was still dark outside, as the sun hadn't raised its golden head yet. Day after day, she hauled herself out into the world because she had to, not because she wanted to. She was thirty-six now and it felt like her best years were behind her. The lines on her face were getting more drawn and her big, curvy body had lost the flush of youth. Marriage was supposed to be the start of everything, but after the divorce, she had to begin again, and she simply wasn't sure how to go about doing that.

Her days followed the same routine.  She awoke early in the morning and then went to work at her boutique café, spending all day there six days a week, before returning home late at night. On the seventh day of the week, she would perform the chores around her house and perhaps see friends, although often she sat solemnly in her house trying to use books or a movie to distract herself from the drudgery that her life had turned into. When that didn’t work, she slipped into bed she thought about all the people who were out in the world, living their lives, while time was slipping past her inexorably.

Her car roared down the road as she made her journey to work. The café was in the middle of the city, yet while she was surrounded by so many people every day, she still felt alone. As always she was the first one there and began to put the signs out, writing the specials in chalk to hopefully entice people to pop in.

The café had been an idea long in fruition, and it had been an arduous journey, but it was the one thing in her life that she felt she had accomplished by herself, although it had been one of the things that had driven Michael away. But she cherished the café as though it was her child. Every brick, every shelf, every chair and table were precious to her. It was a small, cozy space with offbeat artwork hanging on the walls, giving a different feel to the rest of the area, which was commercial and bland. Skyscrapers towered up to the heavens and during the day she witnessed many businessmen and women going about their days, always on the phone or striding to another meeting. It was rare for them to take a moment to themselves, but when they stepped into the café they entered another world. Helen had wanted a tranquil, relaxed atmosphere and whenever anyone entered, they noted how soothing it seemed.

Helen was there for about half an hour before Susie came in. The short firecracker of a woman had worked there ever since Helen had opened. She was in her early twenties and as she was only around five feet tall, she made Helen, who was only five-foot-five herself, feel like a giant.

“I keep telling you to let me open one morning. You deserve to sleep in every now and then,” Susie said in a scolding tone. Despite her youth, she often acted in a motherly manner towards Helen.

“I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I slept in. Being at work is good, it keeps me busy.”

“If you say so,” Susie said, narrowing her eyes at Helen. The two women worked in tandem as they got the café ready for their first customers. There was usually a steady stream of people coming in throughout the day—an eclectic crowd, but a loyal one, for which Helen was grateful because when she had opened up she was plagued with doubt that anyone would want to come in. But the café had been a roaring success, even greater than Helen had initially hoped, and it was the one glimmer of sunshine breaking through an otherwise gloomy horizon.

“Did you ever reply to Michael's email?” Susie asked. Helen's throat tightened. Just thinking about Michael made her skin crawl. It was funny how things could change so quickly. He used to be the man of her dreams but had quickly turned into a demon in her nightmares.

“I read it,” Helen said curtly and continued setting out the candles on the tables. Even during the day the soft glow and calming scent helped bring about the required ambiance, not just for her guests but for herself as well.

“That doesn't answer my question.”

“We're over. I don't have to talk to him if I don't want to.”

“I know, but he opened up the dialogue, and he was a part of your life for a long time. Aren't you curious?”

“No, because nothing is going to change. I've still got the business, and just because I was busy, doesn't give him the right to go and find satisfaction elsewhere. He only used that as an excuse anyway. I don't care what he wants to say to me. I don't want to see him ever again. I just want to put that part of my life behind me. It's the only way I have a chance of moving on.”

“I get it...” Susie said, but Helen wasn't sure that she did. She wanted to tell Susie about how Michael had broken her heart and left her feeling shattered, how he had made her feel like her life was pointless, how their plan to make a family together had been torn apart, and she was left with nothing but a bleak, blank future that held nothing but disappointment. For Helen, life had always had a clear plan and things happened in sequence. The divorce changed all that and she was left adrift, not knowing if she was going to be able to come up with a new plan.

“... But are you really going to move on? I mean, don't take this the wrong way, but all you do is work here. You need to remember that life is meant to be lived. I know you love this café..”

“I do love this café. It's my own little world, and it's much better than that cruel one out there.”

“Yeah, but you need to meet new people.”

“I do meet new people, we get guests coming in every day.”

Susie shot Helen an unimpressed look. “You know what I mean. I think it'd be good for you to meet someone, it doesn't have to be anything heavy, just someone to spend some time with. I think you could use a bit of excitement and romance. Tell me I'm wrong.”

“You're wrong,” Helen replied immediately.

“Tell me again without lying to me.”

Helen paused what she was doing and turned to face Susie. “Look, what happened with Michael... it was really hard, you know? I mean, we were married. I didn't think that I'd ever have to worry about dating or meeting anyone again, and it just showed me that no matter how much you can think you're in love, anything could end at any moment. I can't bring myself to trust anyone like that again. It sounds really melodramatic, but I can see myself being alone until I die. Relationships are just too much hard work, and they leave you with nothing but scars.”

“Give it time. You know that not everything is going to end up like Michael. And I'm not saying that you have to get involved in anything heavy right away, but it would be good for you to meet someone who could bring that spark back. You've seemed so... empty recently and you can't have this place as your whole world. It's too small and you're going to miss out on too much. It's not like that special someone is going to walk through that door.”

As soon as Susie said that the door opened and both women twisted their heads around in surprise. Entering the café was a tall man in a suit, Christian.

Chapter 2

“’Morning, ladies,” Christian said, although his eyes didn't leave Helen. Susie gave Helen a wry smile, and Helen frowned. She hopped behind the counter and got Christian's order ready.

“Same as usual, I assume?” she asked.

“You know me so well,” he said. Christian had been coming into the café for a while, always stopping by on his way to work. He was tall, and there was no denying that he was handsome, but Helen pushed any appreciation she had for him away. He tried to make idle small talk and even tried to flirt a little but Helen remained steadfast.

“You know, I always see you in this place, do you ever do anything else?” he asked. His eyes shone with desire and she felt like an idiot for not melting at his every word. He was the man that every woman dreamed of, carved out of marble with a granite jaw. In her younger days her passionate mind would have been whirling with dark, lustful thoughts, but her inability to conjure up anything resembling a sexual fantasy was worrying.

Had Michael broken her? Had he made her unable to have a functioning social life?

“That'll be five bucks,” she said coolly. The glimmer in Christian's eyes faded. He slipped her a note and their hands touched. His leathery skin was warm but she didn't feel a flush of arousal or a spark.

“Well, thank you,” he said, the disappointment evident in his voice as he turned and walked away. Helen placed the money in the cash register and pushed it back. The door closed and Susie came rushing over.

“What the hell are you thinking?! That guy has been coming in here for weeks now and you're not giving him anything!”

“I told you, I don't have anything to give!” Helen replied, her voice louder than she had intended. Susie flinched as she saw the anger blaze in the whites of Helen's eyes, and recoiled.

“That's what I'm talking about. If you don't give him a chance, then who is it going to be? I just hate the thought of you missing out on life because you're scared that things are going to turn out the same way as before. There's nothing wrong with having a bit of fun now and then… you don't always have to put your heart on the line. Sometimes sex is just sex,” Susie said, and stormed off to the back room, leaving Helen alone.

It wasn't as simple as that, Helen thought to herself. She had never been able to untangle emotions from sex and wasn't sure how people could have strings of lovers. Due to the size of her body, she had always been reticent to share it with people she didn't know, and needed to feel comfortable with any partner. And she was feeling especially vulnerable now after the divorce. Despite how sad it made her, she couldn't help but face the possibility that she would never find anyone she could trust enough again. It wasn't enough to give her body to someone. The real thrill, the true pleasure for her was being able to give her heart.

During the morning she put on her usual pleasant face and welcomed her guests, engaging in conversation with them. Over the years in various customer service jobs, she had honed the skills of being able to converse with people and give them the air of friendliness even if she wasn't feeling it inside. She wore the smile of a clown, and if people would have looked closely they would have seen that it never touched her eyes, but most people were concerned only with themselves and gave Helen merely a passing thought.

Deep inside her was a hollowness. All her life force, her essence, had been wrenched out, drained from her in the form of tears that streamed down until it felt like there was nothing left. She looked around at her clientele. Some of them came in to be around other people. Others came in to escape from the outside world. In all of them, she saw a common thread, kindred spirits bound by heartbreak. Each one of them had been touched by sadness. Over the years, she had developed a keen sense of perception and could tell a lot by observing people, and the café was ideal for that. As the day passed, she occupied herself by reading people that were sitting at her tables. Susie was still apparently mad at her, which Helen didn't understand because it was her life and if she wanted to spend it working in the café then that was her right.

There was an old man sitting in the corner. He came in regularly but Helen didn't know his name. He looked tired, and was sitting with his shoulders hunched. He had a newspaper open but it had rested on the same page for a while; he obviously wasn't reading it. His hands shook whenever he reached for his mug of coffee, and there was an aura of despair about him.

He seemed to be looking wistfully across the room at a young couple and these were in direct contrast to him. They were sitting on either side of the table but their hands were linked across the surface. They leaned forward, gazing into each other’s eyes, completely lost to the world around them. They smiled at each other and they glowed effervescently, the bloom of love radiating from them. They were young, but looked eternal, and Helen smiled thinly. She hoped that their love affair would turn out much better than hers, for she remembered a time when she and Michael looked at each other like that. They thought that they were invincible and that nothing could tear them apart from each other.

In the end, it was all lies and grim reality crushed her dreams. It always ended the same way.

“I'm going for a walk. I need to pick up a prescription for my mom,” Susie said. Helen barely had time to say, 'okay' before the hot-headed young woman was out of the door. Susie was an asset to the company, but her passion had two sides. She was the dearest, most loyal friend Helen had ever had but this also led her emotions to run high, and sometimes she became so worked up about things that it led to conflict. Perhaps it was the folly of youth and Helen was passed all that. Growing older had given her a different perspective on life. No longer was she rushing around trying to please everyone. No longer was she always worried about what other people thought of her. She had her own life, and that was all she needed.

The quiet morning moved along gently. While she was at work she could forget about her failed marriage and failed life as a wife, and could focus on her success as a businesswoman. The soft hum of chatter filled the café and the heavy smell of hot chocolate and coffee hung in the air. Susie was taking a while to return but Helen didn't mind so much. Her mother had been suffering from a bad illness recently and she knew that it had taken its toll on Susie, despite Susie's insistence that she was fine. Helen allowed her mind to wander and started to think about all the things that could have gone differently in her life. Sometime she wondered what would have happened had she not met Michael. Would she have been happier? Despite the way it had ended she still had a lot of fond memories and the grass wasn't always greener, and she knew she wouldn't have been the same person (whether that was better or worse she couldn't decide).

As she was thinking about this, she cleared the table where the lovers had been sitting. They had left the café, Helen assumed to go and make love with abandon, losing themselves in the blissful heat of each other’s bodies. She carried the tray across the room, lost in thought, when suddenly the door opened and she clattered into someone. The tray went flying. The mugs crashed and cracked on the floor, while Helen was sent spiralling to the ground. She landed with a thud and as she fell she saw the tangerine walls and the high ceiling and then... a rainbow?

Chapter 3

“Are you okay?” the soft voice was like a melody through Helen's head. She blinked. Water filled her eyes. She felt a hand against her arm, and then turned to see a young woman by her side. She had long multi-colored hair and a pretty, heart-shaped face. Her eyes were wide and a dark brown, while her skin was a white as a snowflake. Her nose was pierced with a stud, and showed that her innocent look was perhaps misleading. She had a bundle of shopping bags slung over her shoulder, and as she leaned forward, Helen was given a look down her top. She saw the plunging cleavage and averted her eyes, embarrassed.

“I'm so sorry! I'm such a klutz,” the girl said. She smiled with full, red lips. Dimples appeared on her cheeks. Helen put her hands on the floor to push herself up but instantly shrieked with pain as a shard of glass cut into her palm. Dark blood bloomed out. The girl, shocked, helped Helen up.

“Do you have a first aid kit?” she asked. Helen nodded, feeling light-headed and disoriented. Now that she was standing she saw that the girl had a slender frame, but curves in all the right places. She must have only been about twenty-one, and she smelled like summer.

They walked through to the back room and Helen rested against the counter. The girl rooted through some cupboards until she found the first aid kit. She also poured a glass of water and handed it to Helen. The girl placed a comforting hand on Helen's shoulder.

“Let's get this sorted out,” she said, and took Helen's hand. She swabbed the cut and mopped up the blood, then tied a bandage around it.

“That's nasty. It's lucky that it wasn't a little lower though. I'm really sorry again.”

“It's okay,” Helen said, her head still swimming with the swiftness of events.

“I'm Dani,” she said, and flashed Helen a smile. Helen returned the gesture and gave her name. “I always meant to come into this place and I saw it today and I thought 'you know what, today I'm actually going to do it,' but I didn't mean to do that. I should really look where I'm going. Are you the owner?”

Helen nodded. Something about this girl made her feel uneasy, as though anything could happen.

“That's so cool. My dad owns a business too, well, a few actually... but none like this. I like it. It's so... personal and unique. It's like stepping into another world.”

“That was the idea,” Helen mumbled, clearing her throat. Dani checked her hand and patted it.

“Not so bad, even if I say so myself. I think we caught it in time, you'll just have to keep it covered for a little while. Can I buy you a coffee or something to make up for it?”

“That's really not necessary.”

“No, please, I insist, you must be due a break?” Helen looked at Dani and felt something pulling at her, and she found herself agreeing. The two of them walked back out. Susie had returned now, and looked puzzled as she saw Helen emerge from the back of the café with a strange girl. Helen went to sit at a table while Dani ordered the drinks. Helen avoided looking at Susie.

“So how long have you been running this place then?” Dani said, sitting opposite. She brushed a strand of red hair away from her face and placed her elbow on the table. The strand of hair instantly fell back again, but it gave her an alluring look.

“A couple of years now. It's been tough though and I've had to make a lot of sacrifices.”

“Like?”

“My marriage,” she said bluntly.

“Oh.”

“Yeah. He got upset that I was spending so much time at work and he got bored and ended up finding someone else.”

“Well that's just sucky. That's men for you, I guess. My dad was like that with my mom, and then with the woman he married after my mom. Tries to make it up to me by buying me pretty things, which does work most of the time.”

“Yeah, well, I've had enough of men for the time being. They can buy me all the pretty things they like but I'm not going to give them the time of day.”

“That's good news for me,” Dani said, a wicked smile flashing across her face as she sipped her coffee. “I've already got enough competition for beautiful women.” Helen squirmed in her chair. This was wrong. She looked around and saw Susie's disapproving look. She leaned forward and Dani responded by mirroring her movements.

“I don't know what you're thinking, but I'm not into... you know... I'm not a lesbian,” she said those words in a harsh whisper. Her voice trembled as she lied. Feelings that had laid dormant for so long were fizzing through her mind, memories that had lurked in the recesses of her mind were coming to the fore once again. Dani smiled, and lowered her voice into a breathy whisper. Her hand slid across the table, and when her fingers came over Helen's, the older woman didn't pull hers away.

“You just haven't met the right girl,” Dani said, her wide eyes shining with temptation. Helen's throat tightened and all of a sudden she felt hot. Dani's skin was soft, and Helen found her eyes drifting lower, first to Dani's sensual lips, and then to her pert, full breasts that were being held by the white cotton of her top. Dani giggled and leaned back in her seat. Helen didn't know what to do or say. Despite her youth, Dani had power over her.

“I want to make it up to you. Come shopping with me tomorrow,” Dani said.

“Oh, really, I'd love to but I can't. I have to look after the café.”

“You have other people to work here, yes? That girl looks like she can take care of things. It'll all be on my daddy's credit card, but it looks to me like you haven't been pampered for a long time. Let me remind you how fun life can be.” She held out her phone, waiting for Helen to put her number in. Helen stared at Dani. She could feel her skin prickle and her heart thudded inside her chest. Before she could stop herself, she took the phone and punched in her number. Something about it seemed wrong and yet she felt more alive in that instant than she had done over the past year.

“That's great. I'll give you a call tomorrow,” Dani said, and rose from the table. She walked behind Helen, dragging her hand across Helen's shoulders. The older woman shivered and closed her eyes. The scent of summer went with Dani, and Helen found her eyes lingering on the doorway long after Dani had left.