Authors: Jane Price
Their dynamic served them both well for all those years. Vaughn had the benefit of a naive girl who worshiped him and his rank, with whom he could be free to be himself without worrying how it would affect his status, his station. Camden could taste the fantasy that she craved, pretending she fit into his life.
That all changed when she found out she was pregnant. There was no more room for pretending. Her life suddenly got very real and she had to face the fact that there was nothing holding her and Vaughn together other than a desire to fulfill each other’s fantasy. The power he held over her was thrilling when it was just about sex, but the idea of always being second class when it came to being his partner, to their child, was repugnant to her.
The sounds of the dining hall filtered into their private alcove, bringing Camden out of her thoughts and back to the reason of her visit. She couldn’t deal with her past with Vaughn right now. Not when her mind was supposed to be focused on resolving things with her parents. She turned her attention away from Vaughn.
“I should get back. I need to talk to my parents before I leave.”
“Are you sticking around afterwards?” He asked, eyes on her again.
“No. I have things to do at home.”
And a babysitter I can only afford to pay for a couple of hours,
Camden thought. She turned and made her way out of the sheltered nook. Vaughn followed behind her.
“Will you be here again next weekend?”
“I don’t imagine so.”
“You’re being awfully evasive.” Vaughn said as they passed the staircase.
“Am I?” Camden said, knowing full well it would drive Vaughn crazy not knowing what he wanted to. Vaughn wasn’t accustomed to being kept in the dark, or being told no. Camden didn’t care, though, because even if she had planned on telling him about Isla, now was not the time.
Vaughn grabbed onto her hand and stopped her mid-stride just before the doors to the dining area. She looked up at him, haughty.
“Something’s going on with you and I intend to find out what. We had a good thing going between us, then you up and vanish. When I asked your folks where you went I just got the same bullshit story everyone else did. When I pushed your mom she started acting all cagey, but she still wouldn’t tell me where you were. Your phone was no longer in service, you quit your job. You just left. I think I deserve to know the truth.”
“Why do you think I owe you any explanation? We never owed each other anything before. That was the beauty of our friendship and I would like to keep it that way.” Camden turned away from Vaughn and pushed through the doors.
From what Camden could tell, he didn’t follow her and she was relieved. She wasn’t sure how much more pressure she could take from him. Deep down she knew he had a right to know about their daughter, but Camden was still clinging tight to the belief that not knowing was better.
Back at the table, Camden took her place beside her mother. No one looked in her direction, no one missed her absence. Camden looked around the room for her father. She was anxious to leave, the club no longer feeling as welcoming as it had earlier. Camden spotted her father, standing amongst a group of men talking boisterously.
When he saw her from across the room he excused himself and headed over to join them. Camden was relieved that he wasn’t going to draw this out any longer. Camden didn’t see Vaughn re-enter the room, but regardless she was eager to get this over with and get home.
*****
Camden woke to the sounds of Isla jabbering in the next room. She yawned and stretched in bed before crossing the hallway to pick Isla out of her crib. Some days she really missed sleeping in.
Last night had been very long, and only somewhat productive. Camden and her parents managed to make it through a polite conversation, which was a feat in itself, but the result was somewhat stilted. Begrudgingly her father consented to her mother inviting Camden and Isla to holiday dinners. And Camden could talk to and see her mother whenever they pleased.
As for her father, he would prefer they met while he was at work. Camden was disappointed that her father still treated her like she was an errant teenager, like he couldn’t acknowledge that she had been responsible for herself and Isla for two years without his stern guidance. Camden sighed as they made their way to the kitchen, it was a victory in any case. It just didn’t really feel like it.
Camden didn’t work Sunday’s, so she and Isla had the day to themselves. As per their usual Sunday ritual, Camden made pancakes and then they headed to the library before coming home and playing until naptime. Camden tucked Isla into her crib and quietly closed the door.
She headed to the living room and sat, being given the first chance to think through the events of yesterday. She looked at her phone. It was late afternoon. She had half expected her mom to have called by now, excited to meet Isla. Apparently not. Camden rested her head on the back of the couch and let her eyes close. She bit back the disappointment, the loneliness.
The knock on her front door caused her to blink open her eyes. She crossed the small room to the door and pulled it back, inhaling a sharp breath at the sight of Vaughn Kincaid standing at her door. He was dressed casually, a look she rarely saw him sporting at the club, in dark jeans, a black Henley, Oxfords.
Camden fought to stand her ground when all she wanted to do was shut the door and run. After the disappointment with her parents she couldn’t bear to be kicked down by someone else she cared about. But he was here, that was more than she could say about her parents.
“How did you find me?” She whispered, stepping out of the house and pulling the door closed behind her.
“I followed you after you left the club last night.” He said, casually, like a man accustomed to people never questioning his motives.
“You followed me?”
“It sounds creepier than it actually is. Well, no probably not. But I did it with good intentions.” Camden raised an eyebrow in doubt. “Really. I wanted to make sure you were safe. You were so cold last night. All your energy and enthusiasm seemed to be gone. And you wouldn’t talk to me.”
“Maybe there was a reason for that.” Camden said, her eyes focusing on him somewhere at forehead height.
“I wouldn’t know because you wouldn’t talk to me, Cam. Which is strange because we both know how much you like to talk.” He said with a smile playing on his lips. Camden couldn’t muster up the effort to return it. There wasn’t anything funny about him being here.
“I’m sorry, Vaughn, but I can’t do this with you right now.”
“Do what? Now you can’t even stand to be around me anymore?” She could hear his temper start to rise, but she didn’t care. Whatever game they were accustomed to playing was long over.
“Please, Vaughn. I think you should go.”
“No, not until I’ve said what I came here to say. Let me come in.” When Camden didn’t answer him, eyes still looking above his own, Vaughn continued. “If you’re going to be stubborn about it I’m just going to have to talk to you out here. After you left, and it became apparent that you weren’t coming back, I was pissed.
I tried everything I could to think of where to find you. But when I stopped to think why I was so mad, I realized it was because I missed you. We had something together. Something vague, but real, and I was mad that you left before I realized I wanted something more.”
He looked proud, triumphant. He looked at Camden like she should fall at his feet, grateful for the opportunity.
“And you never considered what I wanted?”
“Well I guess I’m coming to realize that it wasn’t me.” Vaughn’s voice started to rise again, never one to take rejection well.
Camden fixed her stare on the ground, silent. There was so much she was leaving unsaid, so much about how she felt that she couldn’t say to him. In any other scenario she would have fallen for him, and part of her wished she could allow herself to do so still. She couldn’t allow herself to take the risk on another game when there was so much at stake. Neither said anything for a moment, but she could feel his eyes on her. She stepped back and put her hand on the door knob, about to put an end to this conversation, when he made her pause.
“Where is he?” He asked, quietly, darkly.
“Who?” She looked at him now, confusion gracing her features.
“You’re husband?”
“Why would you think I’m married?” Camden asked, bewildered.
“It’s the only thing that fits. You took off with no warning, your parents are pissed at you. I figured you ran off with some guy that your parents disapproved of. I don’t know why I never thought of it before.” Vaughn seized her hand on the knob, moving it away. “So where is he? Maybe he would like to know what you and I were up to last night. Or maybe we should tell him you were fucking me the same time you were planning to run off with him.”
Vaughn shouldered his way into the house, despite Camden’s attempts to block his path.
“Vaughn stop. Please, you’re not going to find what you’re looking for.”
“Then there shouldn’t be a problem with me looking around, right?”
Vaughn stormed through the empty living room and into the tiny galley kitchen. Finding nothing there, he turned and made his way down the hallway, opening doors as he went. Finding nothing in the first two doors, the bathroom and Camden’s room, Vaughn made his way to the last door down the hall.
Camden darted in front of him, trying to stop his barrage.
“Not that one, Vaughn.” She said, holding her hands up in front of him.
He didn’t listen. Stepping around her, Vaughn opened the door to Isla’s room, only to retreat at the sounds of her cry. Pushing him out of the way, Camden rushed into the room and scooped her up. With her back to the door and to Vaughn, Camden soothed the little girl, cooing at her softly. When Isla had stopped crying Camden whirled around on Vaughn, who watched from the doorway. This time it was Camden’s turn to be angry.
“Are you happy, now? Did you prove your point yet? There’s no one else here. Just us. But it’s good to know that you think I’m a slut just because I rejected you.” She said, anger rising.
“There’s no one else?” He asked, brows knitting.
“No, there’s never been anybody else.”
“Never? What are you saying?”
Camden diverted her eyes from his, her voice lowering.
“I’m saying that you’re the only man I’ve ever been with, Vaughn. So if you’re looking for someone to get mad at, it’s just me.”
She flicked her eyes back up to Vaughn, needing to see his reaction. He stood motionless, staring at Camden and Isla through unseeing eyes. For a full minute he stood in place, and would have for longer had Isla not started squirming in Camden’s arms. Camden adjusted her grip on Isla, hoisting her higher on her hip.
“She’s hungry. If you want to leave then I won’t hold it against you, but if you want to talk I’ll be in the kitchen.”
Camden walked past Vaughn, and into the kitchen. She wasn’t sure what to expect him to do next. Camden hadn’t expected to tell him about Isla, and definitely not in this way. But it was out in the open now and Camden tried to ready herself for the barrage of questions he would have.
Camden sat Isla in her high chair and sprinkled a handful of cheerios on the tray to keep her entertained while Camden cooked. Turning to the fridge, Camden began preparing a quick supper for Isla. As Camden cooked she heard Vaughn approach from behind. He pulled a chair out from the table and sat, watching Camden at the stove, Isla happily crunching cereal.
Camden finished cooking the pasta and vegetables and set the dish in front of Isla, who in turn started picking up fistfuls of pasta. She sat across from Vaughn, leaned back in her chair and looked at him. He was still looking at Isla. Studying her with his shrewd assessing eye.