Authors: Alexa Blair
VI.
Her words as she was leaving him out at Charlie’s place had struck him deeply. He’d never imagined that she’d felt that way about him. He’d felt similar stirrings of his own, but he’d denied allowing himself to feel them given his circumstances and the way that he had reacted to his loss. Cleaned up and in a better frame of mind, they had met for dinner, picking up casual conversation in almost the same place that they had left it before the court ruling and the weeks of hell that had followed.
The week that followed found the two of them recovering their relationship, though it was done more in her world than in his. There were no horses, no wide open spaces and no gentle breezes to set the tone, but they discovered that those things were no longer necessary. Without the divorce lingering over their heads, they felt liberated from the trappings that had surrounded them before. When Karissa invited him back to her place, it was a signal that they had finally come full circle and were beginning to see a future together for the two of them.
Buck hadn’t forgotten the words that he’d heard come from her mouth and pass through the screen door of the bunkhouse, neither had he forgotten the response of his leaping heart and quickening pulse. He’d buried every feeling he’d had in the bottle of a whiskey bottle and, until that moment hadn’t allowed them to surface again. When Karissa set aside their glasses and took his hand to lead him toward her bedroom, he pulled back against her.
“What’s the matter?” she asked, watching his eyes for some signal of what was going on in his mind.
“You said something to me when you were out at Charlie’s place a week or so ago,” he replied.
Karissa could remember the entire conversation, but there was only one thing that she had said that had really stuck out in her mind since that day. Was it the same thing? She waited silently for him to tell her.
“You pulled me up out of the hole that I’d dug for myself. Hell, had you not come along, I might have ended up dead. Though I didn’t know it at the time, the moment that I saw you standing in that doorway and heard your voice…” He paused for a moment. “I knew that I was in love with you too. With my mind clear, I know that I still am.”
“Cowboy,” she grinned, pulling even harder on his hand as she tugged him along behind her. “I already knew that. If you don’t get me back in that bedroom and get rid of these clothes so that we can make love right this instant, then I’m the one who is going to wind up dead.”
The passion that had come upon them on the leather sofa had returned and they had already started to shed items of clothing on their way to her bedroom. Once they arrived in the room, shucking the remaining clothes was a matter of desperation and they tended to it as quickly as they could, but then the pace slowed as he stepped toward her gazing deep into her eyes.
Where they had rushed in blind passion before, Buck took his time to examine her body and caress her smooth skin. It appeared to Karissa that he was memorizing every inch of her and drinking it all in for some later time. Little did she know that he’d endured fantasies of seeing her before him in that way and had kicked himself for not having taken his time before. He wasn’t going to make the same mistake again.
The feel of him caressing her was only intensified by the way his eyes would meet hers and sparkle with hints of his delight as he explored and enjoyed certain areas of her flesh. When his mouth and lips tenderly came to her, she felt her knees begin to weaken and was afraid that she might collapse. She took several steps backward and pulled him down onto the bed.
Though he might have taken her in that very moment, he continued to linger, kissing, caressing and exploring her body, just like he had been doing before. It was torturously slow. She was aching with desire to feel him inside of her, yet his delicious touch was sending so many electrically charged tingles throughout her body that she couldn’t bear stopping him.
The ache inside of her continued to build, especially when his mouth found the smooth mound between her thighs and then began to work its magic on the erect bud that was throbbing with desire below it. Her ache grew at the mercy of his mouth until an explosion of pleasure that radiated throughout her body forced a growl of pleasure out of her throat.
Encouraged by her climax, Buck moved up between her thighs, moving as slowly and tenderly as he had before, but Karissa was having none of that. Reaching between her thighs, she grasped his rigid erection and guided it inside of her, gasping at the feeling of fullness that it provided.
He began with long, slow strokes that allowed her to feel every inch of him, but soon increased the pace and the strength of them until the two of them were rushing toward a climax together. It would be the first of many that they enjoyed that night. Between them, they continued to caress each other and kiss while gazing into each other’s eyes until the light of dawn began to spill in through a slit in the curtains.
“I guess you know that I don’t have a lot to take care of you and the baby,” he confessed as they were, once again, trying to catch their breath. “It isn’t much of a start, but like I told you before, I’ll do my be…”
“Shhh,” she said, pressing a finger to his lips. “I had some money and made a substantial investment earlier this week.”
“You don’t mean?” He sat up and stared at her with an astonished look on his face. It seemed to be too good to be true.
“I do mean,” she laughed. “But I think I’d rather call it Karissa’s Spread.”
“You can call it any damned thing you want,” he replied before pressing his lips against hers.
THE END
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Chapter 1
Naomi sat quietly outside Faith’s room trying to collect her thoughts. She was soaring on the elation that Faith’s operation had been a success. But the debt that the family had incurred to pay for it, and her father Nathan’s condition, promised to drag her down from the clouds and into the abyss.
The debt shouldn’t be a problem as far as the hospital was concerned. Their father was well respected in the community, and well established. As far as the hospital was concerned, he would pay for Faith’s care. And he would have, had he long enough to live.
Not even Faith knew of his condition. But Naomi did, as did her father himself. She had known since he had first began coughing up blood. He had tried to deny it at first, to hide it. But Naomi was sharp and cunning and he had not been able to hide it from her for long.
When he had first admitted his condition to his daughter, Nathan had had full faith that Naomi could care for the business and what was left of the family. The children’s mother had died in childbirth during the birth of their son, Matthew. Matthew was too young yet to care for the business or the family. But Nathan knew how smart Naomi was. He would leave the family business to her when he died and she could care for her younger sister and brother.
But everything had changed when Faith had fallen ill. The clothing shop did well enough to support them and provide just a little something extra. But there was no way that they could pay for Faith’s medical bills and still stay afloat.
It was a point of contention between Nathan and Naomi. She wanted very much to plan for how to take care of everyone now that the family was in so much debt. But he would not hear of it.
He had been at peace with his death when he had known that he could leave everything to Naomi and that she would be able to care for her brother and sister. But now that they had been saddled with the extra debt of Faith’s illness, everything had changed.
If he hadn’t been dying, it wouldn’t have. He could have continued to run the clothing shop, maybe taken on a little more business, and the money would have been no problem.
But Naomi was a woman. Smart as a whip though she may be, she was still a woman. It didn’t matter how smart or able she was. People would still judge her more harshly, be less likely to bring her their business, and they was no way that she could keep the business afloat. Sometimes he cursed the fact that she had been born a woman. But mostly he cursed the fact that she had been born into a world that judged her as being less because she was a woman.
He didn’t know how to help her. He didn’t know what to do. And so he refused to talk about it altogether.
*****
Naomi stood silently, grasping Matthew’s hand firmly, as the rain beat a steady rhythm on the umbrella that she held over them. Faith had been too ill still to leave her bed and join them.
She stared at the mound of dirt standing next to the gaping hole in the ground as the pastor spoke. He spoke first of what an honorable, God-fearing man that Nathan had been, and then he segued seamlessly into a bit about how the faithful had a place in Heaven and had no worry.
His words washed over her, never piercing through the veil of her consciousness. The faint presence of Matthew’s hand in hers kept her loosely tethered to the earth. She knew that the sermon was over when she felt Matthew squeeze her hand.
She looked down at him. She searched for the words to say to him. He was so young. Much younger that herself and Faith. She and Faith had never expected a younger sibling. Matthew had been a surprise. They had both been extremely protective of him from birth.
Naomi found that she was unable to find anything gentle to say now, at their father’s passing. Matthew saved her the trouble by speaking first.
“Do you think that Pa still worries about us?” he asked. Naomi glanced at the casket and the mound of dirt.
“I’m sure that he does,” she said. Matthew squirmed as a troubled look came over his face.
“But if he worries, then how can he be in Heaven?” he asked.
“What do you mean?” Naomi asked.
“Well the preacher sad that the faithful don’t need to worry. But if Pa worries about us, don’t that mean that he’s not faithful? And if he’s not faithful, don’t that mean he’s in hell?”
“
Doesn’t
that mean, not don’t,” Naomi said. She cared more about gaining herself time to think of a response, though she supposed she should start caring about his pronunciations. After all, with both their parents gone now, the job of educating her siblings would fall to her. The ploy gained her very little time in any case.
“
Doesn’t
that mean he’s in hell?” Matthew asked. Concern painted his young features.
Naomi’s features softened with compassion.
“Of course he ain’t…I mean, he’s
not
in hell,” she said. Matthew remained unconvinced.
“But the preacher man said that those in heaven have got no worry,” he said.
“Well, that’s true,” Naomi said. She tried to think quickly before speaking again. “But maybe he’s not in heaven.”
Horror painted Matthew’s features.
“But then that means he’s….in hell?” he said quietly.
“No! No, no,” Naomi said quickly. “It just means that he’s sort of…between.” Matthew relaxed a bit.
“Like a ghost?” he asked hopefully.
“I…” Naomi almost contradicted him until she saw the hope in his eyes.
“Yes,” she said with a tight smile. “Like a ghost.”
Matthew tightened his hand around hers.
They walked home, hand in hand, the rain beating down on their umbrella as they walked.
*****
Naomi put Matthew to bed and made her way to Faith’s room. She knocked and waited for a response.
“Come in,” Faith said listlessly after a moment.
Naomi pushed the door open and made her way to Faith’s bed. Neither of them spoke for a long moment.
“How did he look?” Faith finally said flatly. She stared at the opposite wall rather than looking at Naomi.
Naomi felt a strong urge to yell, “
Dead! He looked dead, alright?! He looked DEAD!”
She shoved the urge down as far as she could.
“Good,” she said. “Dignified.” Faith turned and looked at her, pain written across her features.
“I think I killed him,” she said miserably.
Naomi was caught completely off guard, all of her defenses shattered.
“That isn’t true!” she said.
“Then
what?
” Faith asked bitterly.
“He…he was already sick,” Naomi said, hanging her head. “He was dying.”
Faith sat in silence, her jaw hanging open.
“What are you saying?” she finally asked.
“I’m
saying
that he didn’t die suddenly. And you didn’t cause this. He’s been sick for a long time. And he knew. He knew he was dying.”
Neither of them spoke for a long moment. Faith was the first to speak.
“He knew he was dying,” Faith said numbly. Her eyes filled with tears. “Why didn’t he tell me? Why didn’t he tell Matthew?”
“He didn’t want to be a burden,” Naomi said. “To either of you.”
*****
Naomi did her best to keep the business afloat. But as her father had known, it was not meant to be. Within a year Naomi was forced to admit defeat and close the doors for good. She felt numb as she locked the doors for the last time and walked away from the now empty building.
She felt lost, unsure of what to do next or where she could go from here. To make matters worse, Faith had taken ill again. What little money they still had would be enough to support them only for a short while. It would come nowhere near paying for Faith’s treatment. Naomi missed her father fiercely. He would have known what to do.
When she reached home she trudged through the door and shut it quietly behind her. She followed the sound of Matthew’s voice to Faith’s room, where he sat reading to her from the family Bible. She leaned in the doorway and watched them.
Faith seemed more asleep than awake. It struck Naomi how much older Matthew seemed now than he had a year ago. She closed her eyes for a moment and listened to him as he read.
“He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.”
She sighed as she opened her eyes. She wished that it were that simple.
Matthew, now aware of her presence, gently shut the Bible and turned toward her. Faith grasped his hand for a moment.
“Thank you,” she mumbled before drifting back to sleep.
“You’re welcome,” he said, giving her hand a squeeze.
He set the Bible down on the nightstand and he and Naomi slipped out of the room, shutting the door gently behind them.
“It’s done?” he asked. Naomi nodded.
“It’s done,” she said.
“Hard to believe,” he said with a small shake of his head. “Always thought I’d be takin’ over the family business when I got old enough.”
Naomi said nothing.
“What are we gonna do now?” he asked her. Naomi forced a smile.
“Now, now,” she said. “You’re too young to be worryin’ over such things.” Matthew shrugged.
“Maybe,” he said. “That don’t stop me from worryin’ though.” Naomi gave him a level look.
“
Doesn’t
. It doesn’t stop me from worryin’,” he corrected himself.
“I know,” Naomi said with a sigh. “We’ll figure something out.” She hoped that she sounded more convinced than she felt.