Authors: Kelly Clark
“That’s alright; you two have a great night. I’m going to sleep, goodnight.” I muttered.
“Cassidy, wait!” John said.
I didn’t turn around, I just stormed to my room and shut the door. It wasn’t long before I heard a knock at my door.
“Cassidy, it’s not what you think.” He said through the closed passage.
I stood from the bed and walked to the door, cracking it open.
“I’m pretty sure it’s
exactly
what I think. Goodnight John.” I said, slamming the door in his face.
His shadow lingered under the door for a moment and then returned to his bedroom where I heard his door shut.
I didn’t sleep at all that night and just wished I were home.
8.
I didn’t speak to John at all and he made no attempts to explain anything. I didn’t mind, I wanted to forget this entire weekend. I even regretted what I had done and the rift I probably would make with Maggie were she
to ever find
out what happened. I’m sure she’d be heartbroken.
Maggie joined me in the car with bags under her eyes. She had been up all night from the look of it and worked hard to hide my envious expression.
As our plane flew us home, Maggie slept on the couch I had enjoyed on our previous flight while I sat in the chair and sipped on soda the flight attendant provided.
I thought back to the night we spent together and how much it meant to me and how little it probably meant to him. It pained me to think about how many other women he had probably slept with in that same barn under similar circumstances. Then I forced myself
to not think
about it at all.
I settled back into normal life with ease. But, I didn’t want this life anymore. I wanted something that I wouldn’t get from working at a grocery store. I wanted to use my experience and ability as an architect to make something of myself and the events with John were inspiring me to be a better person.
So I quit.
I hadn’t told Maggie about John and I, and I wanted to keep it that way but fate had other plans.
A couple months after our getaway to Texas and I was starting to get more than a little scared. I hadn’t had to deal with my monthly cycle for a while and a positive pregnancy test told my why. I even took a day off to visit a doctor and confirmed my suspicions.
I couldn’t help but be a little happy thinking about the small life already growing inside me. The result of one of the most amazing nights of passion I had ever felt in my entire life would soon be mine to hold.
Then I thought about John. He deserved to know if he was a father and I didn’t want to keep him from his child.
I started dialing his number but then I stopped, it felt a little too personal to convey with a phone. Then I started writing an email which also felt a little too distant and impersonal.
The only thing that made sense to me was a letter. I pulled out paper and ink and began to draft my letter.
I wrote all the things I wanted to say over the last two months, every thought that came
into my head
I wrote down. Everything came out as a jumbled mess as I wrote and wrote and wrote.
Twenty-nine pages later I stopped. I couldn’t send him a book.
I tried over and this time kept it simple.
‘Dear John,
I never felt anything for anyone like I did for you. Regardless of whether you feel the same, I wanted you to know. When I returned to my favorite spot by the ocean, I looked out into the magnificent blue water and cried. I felt like I had finally found some measure of solace in the world after spending that weekend with you.
I’m pregnant, and I’m going to keep it. I won’t ask for any money as I’m not interested in that at all. I’m sure one day your future child will wonder who their father is and I’ll tell them it was a wonderful man but I’ll leave your name out of it if that’s what you want.
I have become the person in control of my own future, not worrying about the day to day, just living my own passion because that’s the person I want to be. Your way of seeing the world helped me realize who I can be.
Thank you for the moments.
Love,
Cassidy.’
“What’s that?” I heard Maggie say from behind.
I folded the note and tucked it into an envelope trying to keep it from Maggie’s prying eyes.
“Nothing really,” I replied, “just a thank you note to a friend.”
Maggie plopped down in the chair nearby.
“He loves you, you know.” She said out of the blue.
“Who?” I asked.
“You know, I don’t need to say. I wanted to tell you for a while but you seemed so adamant about changing things that it never felt like the right time to say anything.” She said.
“But, how can you be so sure. Didn’t you sleep with him the last night we were there?” I asked.
Maggie let out a laugh and slapped my shoulder.
“No,” she said, “I didn’t get the chance because he was so hung up on you.”
I gasped and tried to stop the tear running down my cheek.
“He told me about it when we went on the ride the second day we were there. He told me about how much he loved your smile and the way your ‘lit up the room when you entered’” she said while air quoting the last bit.
I wiped the tear off my cheek.
“He’s a good guy, Cass. I’m just sad I didn’t get to him first.” She said.
“There’s more to it.” I added.
I couldn’t mouth the words so I just handed her the letter. As she continued reading her eyes lit up. Instead of looking depressed she started looking happy.
“You’re having his baby! That’s amazing! You gotta call him right now, he needs to know right away, don’t write some archaic note and hope he happens to read it.”
She plucked my phone off the table and searched through my contacts before settling on his number. The phone started ringing and she shoved it in my face.
I took it and held it to my ear. I could hear a ringing elsewhere in the apartment. Both of us started looking around only to realize it was coming from the front door. Maggie stomped to the front door and practically ripped the door off its hinges opening it.
John stood outside, his phone in hand nearly ready to answer. I dropped mine to the ground and walked toward him.
I gave him a giant hug and a kiss, as well as a well-placed punch to the stomach that made him reel back a bit.
“That’s for being creepy and standing outside my front door.” I said.
He laughed.
“If that’s all I’m gettin’ then I’m getting’ off light.” He replied.
I pulled back for a moment realizing that he didn’t know yet. I sheepishly looked toward the ground.
“John, I only just found out for myself, but I’m pregnant.” I said.
John lifted my chin so our eyes met and I could see tears starting to form in the corners. He stared into my eyes with an exuberant look and gave me a deep kiss.
“Cassidy, I’ll make that baby proud to call me daddy.” He said.
And he absolutely did.
*****
THE END
The forest near Drummond Castle was deep, dark and full of wildlife. Drummond Castle, the home of Laird Irvine of Shee, Chief of the Irvine Clan, was a huge granite fortress on top of Ben Shee, one of Scotland's highest mountains. Most members of the three thousand strong Irvine Clan lived in small fortified settlements around the castle.
Eana
Irvine, the Laird's daughter, grew up without friends or siblings and spent most of her time wandering through the forest, watching wildlife and gathering wild herbs. All her life, she'd been desperately lonely. Nobody except her parents talked to her, in fact, most people turned their backs when they saw her, and all the children in the clan had been warned to stay away from her.
Eana
loved
June;
it was her favorite month. Not only was it the month in which she was born, nineteen years ago, but it was the month in which the forest really came to
life
. As spring gave way to summer, the pine trees began to throw off their woody scent, and animals busied themselves with the task of bringing their young into the world.
As she always did,
Eana
left the castle by the back entrance at nine in the morning and took the steep path down the mountainside, to the blanket of trees which stretched from Ben Shee down into the glen below. She was proud to wear the tartan of her father's clan. She always wore a full-length skirt and shawl in the black and blue colors the clan had fought wars to protect. As she took the path into the forest, a deer stopped in its track and looked at her for a second, before jumping over a fallen tree and disappearing. Descending all the time, she followed the path as it wound it's way between the trees, eventually reaching the stream in the bottom of the glen. It was
Eana's
favorite place, a small clearing on the valley floor next to the water. She sat on a rock, reached down and untied her shoes. The water was cold and made her gasp as she put her feet in. She leaned forward and saw her reflection, the face of a beautiful young woman, flickering in the ripples. Her strawberry blonde hair fell forwards framing her
face,
and as she brushed it back, she saw a terrible witch.
Eana
was lonely because she had powers others were terrified of. If she hadn't been the daughter of Laird Irving, she was sure that she would already have been burned alive. She had no idea what she had done to deserve it, but someone had given her special powers. There was no evil in her thoughts or powers, as everyone imagined, only goodness. Three days ago she'd seen a bird hopping around on the forest
floor,
it's wing broken. All she did was look at it and wish it could fly again, and it did. It's wing straightened against
its
body, and it flew up and into the sky. When these things
happened,
it gave her a magnificent feeling, but there was a price to pay, her social exclusion.
''There she is,'' Angus whispered to his brother, Bran. The two men were dressed in the tartan of the Sutherland Clan, the largest and most aggressive clan in Scotland. The Sutherland Clan killed people for fun, but on this day it was serious. Laird Sutherland had sent his sons to find and kill
Eana
.
''She's full of evil, a witch. She has strange powers. Find her, kill her and bring her body back to me,'' he'd told them.
''It's a pity to kill such a beautiful woman,'' Angus whispered.
Bran
looked at her as he crouched behind a tree and nodded in agreement. ''The most beautiful I have ever seen. But we must not defy father.''
''Perhaps we can have a little fun with her before we slay her?'' Angus looked exactly like his father. He was big, six feet three, and quite fat. His red hair was wild, and his beard hung down to his chest. Wrapped in red and white tartan, he looked intimidating.
''Yes, that's a good idea. We can have her first,'' Bran said, his cheeks puffed and red with the exertion of walking ten miles.
Eana
felt goose pimples and knew she should put her shoes back on. Years of conditioning had taught her tha
t when she felt goose pimples, danger
was imminent. As she fastened her laces, she scanned the trees looking for anything that would confirm how she felt. She saw nothing. She stood and began to walk back from where she had come. When she heard the sound of breaking wood, she began to run up the hill as fast as she could.
''Quick, she's seen us,'' Angus said, jumping up and running after her, his brother following close behind. They ran down the hill, jumped over the stream and began to follow
Eana
up the other side of the glen. She looked
behind
her and saw them, two large
red-haired
men, in vivid tartan bearing down on her. She knew they were Sutherland Clan, and the thought of what they would do to her if they caught her made her sprint.
She was slight, fit and remarkably fast, but the brothers had longer strides, and they soon began to catch her.
If, as everyone thought, she'd had any powers of evil she would have used them to stop her pursuers, but what use
were her well intended
powers in this situation?
The path became much
steeper,
and
Eana
slowed as the muscles in her legs began to burn. The two brothers although overweight were strong and they were now just yards behind her.
There's only one way, she thought. She left the path and ran to the left along the hillside, weaving in and out of the trees and ducking under branches. The two large men began to slow, their bodies not as agile as
Eana's
. She'd learned a few things about warfare from her father. He'd always told her having knowledge of the ground was a great advantage in a fight. She hoped it would be now.
''We're catching her,'' Angus shouted when he saw
Eana
slowing.
Eana
was standing with her hands on her knees, totally exhausted, unable to run another foot.
''Grab her,'' Angus shouted. He lunged forward and put out his arms to take hold of her, but she ducked and rolled away to the side, down an embankment. Angus, unable to stop his bulk from moving forward, fell over the cliff.
Bran
was able to stop himself, and when he looked down, he saw his beloved brother's body career into the rocks two hundred feet below.
Eana
got up and started to run back up the hill.
Bran
wasn't capable of continuing the chase. All he could do was cry out his brother's name and vomit at the sight of his contorted body.
*****
Laird Irving wiped his brow on his tartan sleeve and sat down next to the huge fireplace in the castle's grand hall. He looked at his wife and smiled. He'd married her twenty-five years earlier. Not for a single second in all those years had he had any regrets about marrying her. She'd given him a beautiful daughter and she'd always been ready to give her advice at times when he'd had no idea how to proceed.
''I've spoken to him,'' he said.
''What did he say?'' she asked. Her husband was older now, but still very attractive, she thought. He was a big
man,
and she felt protected by him. Strong and athletic he was fiercely loyal to his clan and despite being heavily outnumbered by the Sutherland clan, he'd always stood his ground. The deep scar on his left cheek was a testimony to that.
''He agreed we need each other. The Sutherland clan is larger than it was last time they attacked us, and after Angus's death, Laird Sutherland has declared his intention to slaughter all of us.''
''Then she will marry Laird Muir's son?''
''Yes. She will unite the Muir Clan and the Irvine Clan, and together we will be able to defend ourselves.''
''And is he a good man?
Eana
is a sensitive, shy young woman, and she will need an understanding man.'' She stared at the swords hanging on the wall above them and hoped her daughter's new husband would love her.
''
Eana
is a lonely person. Her powers have alienated her and made her the object of Laird Sutherland's aggression.'' Laird Irving leaned towards his wife and spoke more softly. ''You and I know that her powers are good in nature, but people are suspicious and believe her to be evil. Her husband will learn to understand her, and in time, her reputation will improve.''
“Shall I ask her to come and talk to us?'' she asked.
''Yes, I would like to tell her about her new future.''
When
Eana
arrived in the hall, her father gave her a loving smile. Her green eyes reminded him of the jewels the Sutherland Clan had stolen from his mother's room when they'd ransacked the castle thirty years before. It was the same day as they'd killed his father. 'My dear, I want to tell you what I have planned for you.'' She nodded. ''You are to marry Laird Muir's son. His name is Alexander.''
''I will not,''
Eana
looked desperately at her mother.
''It has been decided. Laird Muir and I have agreed to unite our
clans
against the danger of the Sutherland's.''
''Is that all I am to you? A pawn in a battle? I am your daughter, how can you treat me like this?''
Eana's
tears
flowing freely.
''You are in danger. When Angus Sutherland died, his father declared you his chief enemy. Alexander Muir is a strong man who will care for you long after your mother and I are gone.'' He was sorry for his daughter's
loneliness,
but none of her tears would change his mind.
''You are cruel people, both of you. Why don't you leave me alone?''
Eana
shouted and stormed out of the hall.
*****
Alexander Muir stood in the circle marked out by lines of sand and roared. ''Come on who's next?'' The group of men looked at each other, none of them wanted to step forward. ''Laurie, it's your turn.''
Laurie Hamilton was six feet three and broader than any other male in the clan. He walked into the ring and looked sheepishly at Alexander. ''Attack me,'' Alexander said. Laurie flew at him but Alexander swerved out of the
way,
and Laurie landed on his backside outside the ring. The other men laughed. He got up and charged again. This time, Alexander caught him in his arms, turned him around and slammed him into the ground. Laurie looked up at him and shook his head. ''Enough?'' Alexander asked him. When he nodded, Alexander turned to his men.
''Not one of you warriors can beat me at wrestling,'' he laughed. Every one of them liked and respected him. He was just twenty-one but a bear of a man whose loyalty to his fellow warriors knew no limits. They all knew that he would never expect any of them to do something he wouldn't do himself. At six feet six, he was the tallest and strongest. As a very young man he'd been thin and gangling, but after hundreds of hours of
training,
he'd developed awesome muscles. He was unusually dark for a Scotsman. His father was
fair,
but he'd met a dark haired French woman while fighting in Southern Scotland and fallen in love with her. She'd died soon after giving birth. ''You all need to....'' Alexander stopped talking when he saw two horses approaching. It was his father and his bodyguard. ''Father, would you like to wrestle,'' he quipped.
''You are not yet ready, my son,'' he joked. The men smiled at Laird Muir's quip. ''Please leave
us,
men, I want to speak to my son.'' The men walked over to an oak tree and sat down to rest. As they looked across at Laird Muir and Alexander, they saw them deep in conversation.
When Laird Irvine mounted his horse and rode away, Alexander shouted. ''Laurie come over here.''
******
The Village of
Wellbridge
was under the shadows of Drummond Castle, halfway up Ben Shee. It had a wall around it which was patrolled by men in kilts with axes and shields. Behind the walls, the houses were small with roofs made of thatch. People made a living growing vegetables and rearing livestock to sell at the weekly market. On market day, people came from many miles around to purchase supplies and catch up on the latest gossip.
Eana
liked market
day;
it was the only day she didn't go into the forest. It was also the only time in the week when she saw people other than her mother and father.
As she wandered
between
the market stalls, people talked about her as they always did. Their snide comments didn't seem to worry her
any more
. But when a young child looked at her and cried 'witch', something in her snapped.
''I'm not a witch, you horrible child,'' she shouted. The child was shocked and began to cry. His father took the child in his arms and shouted at her. ''You are a
witch,
and if your father wasn't the Laird, you'd be cast out of the village.''