Authors: Kelly Clark
Chapter Two
All Mary Ann could think was that her baby was gone. Even if she
weren’t
stuck in bed recovering from giving birth, she wouldn’t be able to go
to the orphanage
to claim her baby if Andrew had made it there. They weren’t about to just give
a baby
to a woman with no husband. They would say she wasn’t able to take care of Annabelle either and probably take her, too. That wasn’t going to happen. And if he hadn’t made it there, the baby could have been whisked away by bandits, animals or the men who killed her husband.
She sobbed, her face red, her hands clenched in front of her in suppressed rage. She wanted to scream and cry for the rest of her
life,
but she had Annabelle to think about as well as her little lost Rebecca.
Nurse Green had stayed after the others had left, offering to care for the two of them until Mary Ann could figure out what to do. It was she who brought in the newspaper with the ad for a bride to come to the West and help a man named Matthias
Drout
on his farm.
Mary Ann was immediately skeptical. She read
through
the ad, which asked for a young bride to come to Arizona. Requirements were kindness and compassion and a quiet
nature,
but strength was needed to do the work that a farm would present. “I can do work with my hands. I can do this kind of work.” She said, shaking her head. “But he’s not going to want a widow with a baby and another that has
been taken
from her.”
“You don’t know that. You should write to him and find out.” Nurse Green said. “You have to do something, Mary Ann. The babies
…
Annabelle is almost a week old. You know that Andrew had some bad deals out there and that he owes…owed a lot of money to a lot of people. Not very nice people, either. You have to do
something
.”
Mary Ann knew that nurse was right. She wouldn’t be able to find a man in town who would have her. Andrew had isolated her, kept her from making friends with anyone they met. She hadn’t left the house much in the four years they had
been married
. One of the reasons had been the bruises and marks Andrew had left on her throughout the years. That and his mental cruelty had left her feeling as he had said, worthless and rejected by everyone.
“Write to him.” Nurse Green urged her. “You won’t know unless you try and this is a good way to get away from here. No one will know you there.”
“But Rebecca…”
“Is gone, Miss. You won’t be able to find her now, even if she’s…safe. Please, Mary Ann, Richard won’t let me keep coming here for free and helping you for much
longer,
and I don’t want to abandon you. You’re going to run out of money very soon. Then how will you eat? How will you survive with no family other than one who is dependent on you for everything? Please just write to him and see what he says.”
Mary Ann felt resigned to do as her nurse encouraged. She didn’t know how long she had before the nurse would leave but
she
had to do something to change her situation as soon as
she
could,
and she had no money of her own at all.
When Nurse Green left, Mary Ann got out of bed, checked on Annabelle, whose bassinet was right next to her at all times, and walked to her writing desk. Reluctantly, she sat down and began to write.
Matt was beside himself when he received her letter. His ad had
been placed
several months
before,
and he was afraid no one would ever respond. He took the letter from the postal clerk and turned it over in his hands several times, smiling.
“Thanks.” He said and saluted with the letter before leaving the office. Instead of getting back on his horse and heading home, he walked across the street to the saloon and went in.
This was
the quietest one on the
street,
and most of the other men were working, rather than drinking. They would flood the place in a few hours.
He ordered a beer and sat at the bar, still holding the letter as if it was gold. Finally, he tore open the envelope and slid the paper out.
Dear sir,
Hello, my name is Mary Ann Barnes. I am looking for an opportunity to leave my current home and start new. I saw your ad and was prompted to write to you. I have not done any farm work since I was a
child,
but
I
know I am strong enough to. I am 22 years old. I am a recent
widow,
and
I
do have a baby who is only a week old. My husband
was killed
on the day his daughter was born. I am in desperate need of a place to live and a home for my baby girl.
I must tell you I am afraid of what will happen to me if you are not willing to give us a place to live. I will be a good wife to
you,
and I hope that you are
willing
to be a good husband and father. I can cook and have no problem with housekeeping. If I sound acceptable to you, I would like to hear back from you as soon as possible.
Sincerely,
Mary Ann Barnes
He set the letter down, his excitement over having received it dampened somewhat. Thoughts raced through his mind. She had a child. But he had enough room. She hadn’t worked on the farm for many years. But she said she was capable of it. Would she be a good mother and wife?
He cupped his chin in his hand for a moment and rubbed his lips, smoothing
down
his mustache. He needed a good woman. He needed a strong woman. And he needed her soon. Since Mary Ann was his only option at this point, he couldn’t see not responding to her with a train ticket. He would make it work.
Nurse Green was excited and happy to help Mary Ann pack her clothes and items in several large trunks. It was a big
move,
and she knew Mary Ann was frightened. She was insecure about
travelling
a long distance with a baby that was only a month old. It had taken her the last two weeks to convince Mary Ann not to go looking in town for Rebecca. Nurse Green was sure the baby was lost now, never to
be recovered
. She’d had
to physically stop
Mary Ann from leaving once or twice and had refused to take care of Annabelle if she left, too, even though she would never have let the child be left behind. She knew that Mary Ann wouldn’t risk it either and had suffered the young mother’s anger over it. They had remained
friends,
and she would not let Mary Ann feel
completely
abandoned.
She called on her husband, Richard, to give Mary Ann and Annabelle a ride to the train station and hauled all of her friend’s bags so that Mary Ann only had to carry the baby.
The train station wasn’t far away. In fact, Mary Ann had become used to the sound of it rolling past her
house
though it was far enough away that she was unable to see it when she stepped out on the deck. Once there, Richard unloaded Mary Ann and her daughter’s bags and gave them to the attendant waiting for them. He waited patiently by his buggy for Mary Ann and his wife to say goodbye.
“You are going to be all right, Miss.” Nurse Green whispered in her ear as she gave Mary Ann a hug. “God will watch over you and your baby.”
“I pray He’s watching over Rebecca.” Mary Ann said, pulling out of the hug and looking at her friend. “I know He is. Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me, Lila. I would have
been lost
without you.”
“I’m always here for you, Mary Ann. You be sure to write to me.”
“I will. Thank you.”
Nurse Green nodded and waved as Mary Ann carried her baby up the steps to the train. Then she turned and walked to where her husband was waiting.
The train moved quickly. Mary Ann had never been on one
before,
and her heart thumped hard the whole time. She wanted to cry the whole way.
She
held Annabelle close to her and set her mind to looking forward to the change in atmosphere, shoving away her fear, pushing it deep down so that it would not dwell on her mind.
She was anxious to get there and see what this man
looked like
. She hoped he was not unattractive,
though,
at that point, she
really
felt she had no options. The fear of the unknown put pressure on her thoughts. She fought against the negative thoughts, gazing down at her tiny baby to give her mind some rest. Annabelle was a peaceful baby. She rarely cried. She was in perfect health, according to Nurse Green and the doctor who had checked her right before they left home.
Mary Ann looked out the window. She would be there in a
fairly
short time. The sun would not be down yet. She bit her bottom lip and sighed deeply.
Matt was sitting on a bench just outside the door to the office of the train station. He had arrived early, even though he knew the train would not be there yet.
He
wanted
to further prepare
himself for the changes that were about to
be made
in his life. He was somewhat fearful because he had to tell Mary Ann something he had not revealed in his letter to her. He hoped there wouldn’t be any conflict.
When the train began to pull up, he stood up and watched it, scanning the windows to see if he could guess which one of the faces would be that of his new bride. He controlled his breathing and his anxiety as best he could. She would be the woman with the tiny baby in her arms.
He watched the passengers unload slowly. There weren’t many of them.
There were more people getting
on the train than getting off and he had to look around them for Mary Ann.
Chapter Three
Finally, he saw her. He pulled in a deep breath. She was shorter than he, with a curvy figure, long brown
hair,
and deep dark eyes. There were dark rings under her
eyes,
and it looked like she’d spent the entire ride either crying or trying not to cry. Her face was filled with fear as she looked all around her, stepping carefully off the train. She clutched the baby to her as if Annabelle
was made
of the purest gold and thieves were all about.
He walked toward her, trying to look gentle and kind.
“Mary Ann?” He said when he was a few feet from her. She looked up at him.
She felt relief flood through her while at the same time was overcome with nervousness. He was tall, with blond hair and blue eyes. He had taken off his hat and was holding it in his hands in front of him. When he held out his hand to shake hers, she grasped it and let go within a second or two.
“Hello.” Her voice was soft. He liked that. He smiled.
“I am Matt
Drout
. It’s good to meet you.
This is
your little one? She’s beautiful.”
He brushed one finger down the baby’s soft cheek and cooed at her. “Hello, little
one.
” he said.
Mary Ann was pleased to see him react to the baby that way. She could only remember the anger and hate that Andrew had displayed when he’d first heard she was pregnant and when he’d seen the babies. Her dreams had
been filled
with him taking Rebecca away over and over, using his fists to beat on her and the girls and curse them to a life of misery. Andrew was still torturing her even after his death.
Matt could tell she was frightened and nervous. He vowed to be as gentle and patient as possible. “Let’s get your
luggage.
” he suggested. “And I will take you to the farm.” He tried to push back his worry. He had hoped for a stronger and more mentally capable woman.
He led her and the baby to his buggy and helped her up into it.
“I’m sorry the buggy is so small,”
he said.
“I have another but it is larger, and I don’t use it very often.”
“It’s all
right,
” she said. “I don’t mind.” She settled herself on the bench seat and watched him go back for her luggage. He had to make two trips because she had used large trunks. He had a broad chest and muscular arms. She was impressed with his looks and hoped that he was as good looking on the inside as he was on the outside. So far, she had gotten a good impression
from
him.
When he was finally seated next to her and had taken up the reins, she felt more comfortable. Andrew had never helped her carry anything or did anything
with
her. Her marriage to him had been arranged by her
father,
so she’d had no chance to understand what it was like to be in love with a man. She couldn’t help staring at him as they rode away from the station.
“Are you all right?” he asked, noticing she was watching him. She nodded. “I hope that you will be comfortable here and won’t be too worried about your future. I…there is a lot of work to do on a farm, that’s for sure, and I do need help.”
“You have never been married?” she asked.
He shook his head. “No, I haven’t. I…came close but
…
the woman I loved died.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Thank you. It was
…
heartbreaking but I have moved on. I…have a lot of responsibilities to look after.”
“Do you only work on the farm? You don’t go
into town
to work in a shop or anything like that?”
Annabelle made a squeaking sound, opened her eyes and stared at her mother. Mary Ann looked down at her. “Hello, sweet one. Are you awake now? Are you looking at everything that’s new?”
Matt listened to her soothing voice. It was a pleasant sound to his ears, something he
longed for
. It gave him a sense of
peace,
and he smiled.
“She is
very beautiful,
” he said.
“Thank you.”
“I don’t work in town. My farm is pretty big. That’s one of the reasons why I needed help here.”
“I will be happy to do any work you need me to do.” Mary Ann
said,
though she had not shaken her fear that she was going to be a slave to another man. She looked at him again, nervous that she might be expecting too much.
She
didn’t feel pretty. She didn’t feel
strong
. She didn’t feel courageous.
But she pushed on
anyway
. She didn’t know what else to do.
“I don’t want you to think you are only here to
work,
” Matt said, glancing at her. He thought she was pretty. And
he
could tell how hard she was trying to be positive about everything. He hoped that she would keep that attitude when they got to his
farm,
and he had to tell her the truth. “There is a lot to
be done but…
I want you to get comfortable first before you take on any of the duties that I need help with.”
“All right.” she nodded.
“Do you have everything you need to take care of Annabelle?”
She liked the way he said her daughter’s name. It rolled off his
tongue,
and his deep voice made it sound like the name of a queen. She gave him a small smile. “I think so. I have a lot of cloth diapers that my nurse and midwife gave to me. I have baby bottles and a few rattles for her, too.”
“Does she need any dresses? We can stop
in town
to purchase some if you need some.”
“No.” Mary Ann shook her head. “She has all she needs.”
“How about you? Do you need anything? Anything at all?”
Mary Ann thought for just a moment. “No, I
don’t think so
.”
“Do you have light dresses that will keep you cool in the summer? It can get pretty hot here.”
“I may need to pick up one or two, but we don’t have to stop now. I would like to see the farm and get a cup of coffee when we get
there,
if I can.”
“Yes, Ter…my sister, Teresa, is
there,
and she will make you one.”
Matt had made no mention of his sister in the letters he had sent to her. She looked at him. “You have a sister? Does she live with you?”
Matt’s face flushed. She wondered why. Could he be lying to her already? A new sense of fear ripped through her mind and made her heart beat hard. What if she didn’t get along with this sister? What if the woman tried to take over caring for Annabelle, leaving her with all the farm and house work? She instinctively sat up straighter. No one was going to take this one from her. She’d already lost one baby. What if these two strangers tried to take her little Annabelle? She was going to be stronger. She was going to fight anyone and anything to keep Annabelle safe.
“I…Teresa does live with me, yes. She has been helping me for some time now.”
“Is she not married with her
own
children?”
He shook his head. She wondered why he wouldn’t look at her. Perhaps he was unimpressed with her appearance. She reached up and patted her
bonnet,
as if he could even see her hair underneath it.
He noticed the look of confusion and apprehension on her face. He decided to forge ahead, tell her the truth and see how things played out. It was too late now to do anything different.
“She’s not married. She…she has been staying with me because…I…also have a baby to care for.”
Mary Ann frowned. Another fact that Matt had not mentioned in his letter. She instantly thought of Rebecca and then dismissed it. There was no way her
little baby
would have been brought several states over and given to a man she had promised to marry. That would be too much of a miracle.
“You do?”
He nodded. His heart was thumping in his chest so hard he thought it might burst out. He was beginning to get a headache. He glanced at her and then dropped his eyes to the baby. Her cherubic face relieved his pain and anxiety. He felt better just looking at her.
“Yes, I…I have a two-year-old little girl.”
Mary Ann’s frown deepened. “You didn’t mention that in your letter.”
“I know. I am sorry about that. I was afraid you wouldn’t come.”
“You…you should have told me. What’s her name?”
“Christina.”
Mary Ann’s response was so soft, he barely heard her.
“That’s a beautiful name. What happened to her mother?”
“She was killed.”
“How?” Her first thought was that the woman had died at his hands. Why else would he have kept it all a secret from her? He had to be guilty of something. Perhaps he poisoned her. Or, if he was like Andrew, he might have beaten her to death.
She felt sick to her stomach and loosened her tight grip on Annabelle when she realized how firm her grasp was. Had she made a huge mistake? How could she trust this man when he had lied to her from the very beginning?
“She was afflicted with tuberculosis. I don’t know if you know of the disease?”
“I do, yes. I have not been affected by
it,
but I know of people back home who died from it.”
“My Christina was only two weeks old when Rose got the disease. Then she was dead in only a month.”
Mary Ann wanted to cry again. Her eyes filled with tears and she blinked them away. “That is tragic.
There is so much tragedy, so much pain.
It’s everywhere.”
“We shouldn’t think about
it,
” Matt said, reaching over and taking one of her hands in his. His fingers enveloped
hers,
and he squeezed gently. “We are starting a new life, is that not so? Are you willing to forgive me for not telling you about Christina?”
Mary Ann couldn’t bring herself to say yes. She nodded but secretly wondered how she could ever trust a man who couldn’t be open about his
own
offspring. “I thought you said you have never
been married
.”
“Rose and I weren’t married.”
“You weren’t?
You had
Christina out of wedlock? That is very surprising.”
He nodded. “Yes, we were going to but…I was very young when I began courting Rose. Her father didn’t approve of me.”
“Why not?”
“Rose came from a very wealthy family. They own a
couple of
gold mines out California way.”
“Oh?” Mary Ann raised her eyebrows.
Matt nodded. “Yes. So now I have the farmhouse that she owned because she left a will stating that it and all of her money would be mine if she should die.”
“Her father didn’t make the decisions then?”
“No, he was already deceased by that point. He died young.”
“So you were given the money and house even though you had not married her?”
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you marry her after her father died?”
Matt pulled in a deep breath. “Well, he was
…a
cruel man. Vindictive and spiteful. He
disapproved,
and she disobeyed. She was lucky that he did not disown her. If he had known that she was going to give birth to our baby out of wedlock, he probably would have.”
“Even though it was his actions that caused you not to get married in the first place.” Mary Ann nodded, understanding. “But still, why did you not marry after he passed away?”
“He destroyed my reputation while he was alive. He spread false rumors about me. He said I was a violent and untrustworthy man.”
“Why would he say such things without a basis for them? There is no truth to that?” Mary Ann surprised herself by speaking so bluntly. She noticed that his face flushed again and regretted her decision to speak so forwardly.
She
was still unsure, though. She wouldn’t live her life with another man who treated her the way Andrew had. She would take her Annabelle and run. She would take Christina
too,
if Matt
was
cruel to her.
“No, please don’t believe the words of a dead man, Mary Ann. I never hurt Rose. I’ve never hurt
Christina,
and I will never hurt you.” He looked at her longingly. “You are a beautiful woman, Mary Ann. You
look
fragile and small. I would never be able to lift a hand to you. That’s not who I am.” He suspected she had been through that kind of marriage once
already,
though she had made no mention of it so far. He squeezed her hand again, let go and used his first two fingers to brush over the baby’s cheek and chin. “You will see. I will not hurt you. I will protect you and keep you safe. Both of you.”