Authors: Jessa Hawke
Chapter 16
Bridget was shocked at the news that Esther had given her, surely not? How could this be? She was going to have a baby. She should be excited, but yet something held the delight of motherhood back. Could it be the sickness she was feeling? More likely it was the fact that she had no way of knowing who the child’s father was. She had sworn Esther to secrecy, for a short while, so she could break the news to her husband herself. Her housekeeper was more than reliable and she knew she could trust her.
Bridget decided not to inform Mathias of the pregnancy just yet. She needed a little time to think of the best way to approach this. She had no way of knowing who the father was, and how Mathias would take the news. A walk in the garden would clear her head, so wrapping up well (the days were cooler now) she headed outside.
Although autumn was rapidly approaching, the garden was a riot of color, from the beautiful flowers to the leaves on the trees. As she strolled around, breathing in the fragrance, she could hear the sounds of a spade, ringing out in the cool morning air. Malcolm must be out in the garden so she went in search of him. She had already decided on her first step.
“Malcolm, good morning to you,” she said loudly, as she approached him from behind.
He stopped digging and took off his hat, “And a fresh one it is, my Lady,” he replied, a slight frown on his face. He had not seen the Lady since that day in the cottage, and he blushed slightly at the memory.
“I won’t keep you, Malcolm, I just want to speak with you awhile,” she said. “Will you walk with me and make it look as if we are discussing the garden?”
“Of course, Lady Hexley, it will be my pleasure to take a break from this task,” he said, digging his spade into the hard ground.
“I think I may be having your son’s child, Malcolm,” she dared to get the news out of the way with, straight away. “Try not to look shocked, because I am seeking your advice first.”
“Is his Lordship aware, my Lady?” he asked back, fidgeting with his hat in his hands as he walked by her side.
“You, and Esther, who has been caring for me, are the only ones who know,” she explained. “I will be breaking the news to Lord Hexley, shortly. Of course, I cannot really know who the father is.” She stopped to look at his face, waiting for his reaction
“You can count on my discretion, my Lady, if that’s what worries you,” he assured her.
“No, it isn’t, I already know that,” she smiled. “It’s how you feel I am more concerned about, Malcolm. This child could possibly be your grandchild, and I wonder at how you will live with that?”
“Don’t rightly know, my Lady, but the child will have a happy life, and that’s all that matters.”
“I cannot know how my husband will respond, but I felt it only fair to speak with you first, so you do not hear this news in rumors and gossip. You will have no say in my child’s life; you do know that, don’t you?”
“Of course, my Lady, I will keep my distance, of that you can be assured.” His thoughts were everywhere at the news. Should he inform his son? Perhaps it would be best left alone. His son was down on his luck at the moment, not getting back into the army or finding work. He did not need such complicated problems.
“Very well,” Bridget finished. “I thank you for your time and that we understand one another,” she said, “I just want to add, Malcolm, I did love your son, and he loved me. I know that it has not been easy for you, but it was for all the right reasons that we acted as we did.”
“I know my Lady; I had a long talk with Tristan before he left. He was truly in love, that’s for sure, but he will get over it in time.”
Bridget left the gardener to return to his duties, though she felt a little sorry for him. He had been very discreet when he had found her in bed, naked, with his son. That was partly why she wished to treat him respectfully. It was not his fault she had fallen in love with his son.
Now, how to tell her husband, and would this set off all the gossip once again? No doubt, it would. All things considered, it could still be Mathias’s child, surely that would override all the gossip.
When Bridget did not come down for breakfast, yet again, Lord Hexley guessed she was still unwell. Mathias was genuinely worried that his wife was developing a serious illness. It had been weeks since the library incident, and she was showing no sign of improvement. He wanted to ask for a physician’s opinion, but Bridget had insisted that Esther, the housekeeper, was all she needed. Mathias was having his doubts. Leaving his half eaten breakfast he set off to his wife’s room, determined to get her to agree to see a physician, this very day.
“May I come in,” Mathias asked as he knocked quietly, and opened the door for himself. He had been unsure if any maids were in the room with Bridget. As it happened, she was alone and crying.
He left the door open, rushing to sit on the edge of her bed, taking her hand in his, in an attempt to comfort her.
“Is there anything I can do, anything to lift this malaise that hangs over you? Will you let me call for the physician?” he asked, calmly.
“No, Mathias, he is not needed, but I must speak to you. Will you please shut the door?” she asked, wanting privacy, as she did not know how this news would be taken.
Mathias was puzzled by his wife’s words, and curious as to what she wanted to discuss. He closed the door and quickly returned to her side, taking her hand once again into his.
“You do know, Bridget, that all I want is your happiness. My love for you should be unquestioned, considering how I have forgiven your indiscretion.” He hated to speak of it, but it needed to be brought out in the open.
“I am sorry for that, Mathias, truly sorry. I never meant to hurt you; I was just caught up in some foolish dream, a romantic fantasy. How can you ever forgive me?”
He smiled at her, he had already forgiven her, and he loved her that much.
“I want you listen to me, Mathias, and let me finish what I have to tell you. Can you do that without entering into a shouting fit of rage?” She knew she was overstepping the mark today, but she needed this to be a two way debate, not simply her husband deciding her future without her having any say in it.
“I am to have a baby,” there, she had said it, no messing; she had simply given him the fact.
He stood up, walked to the window, his mind in a whirl. He knew, deep down inside, that he was probably not the father, and that pained him so, but did it really matter? No one of any importance would ever know the truth, and although unlikely, it was not impossible that the child could be his.
“Have you nothing to say, Mathias?” she dared to ask, his silence was stifling.
“This is yet another opportunity for me to show you how much I love you, Bridget. Without any doubt, the child is mine. There can be no indecision on this. Do you agree?” he asked, defiantly.
“I do, Mathias, I do,” she answered, hopefully. “This is all I could ask for, but I dare not assume that you would…”
He cut her answer off, sitting by her side again and taking her hand to his lips, “My darling, Bridget, a child is the best thing that could happen to us.”
“But how will you feel when you look at this child and ask yourself…”
He stopped her mid-sentence, again, by placing his finger over her lips, “Shh, never speak those words again. This child is mine. It is a blessing upon us and the one good thing to come out of this whole affair. I must also tell you a secret, wife, one that you must never repeat.”
She looked at him, worry in her brow. What on earth could her husband be about to tell her? Perhaps of some terrible love affair he has had. She waited, not really wanting him to speak.
“I’m not sure that I can have children. This child may be our only one, so I am blessed, we are blessed. I will ensure that Mason will curtail any gossip beneath stairs, no one really knows for certain that you and he were intimate.”
“Oh, Mathias, you would do this for me?” she asked, so happy that all may work out in the end.
“I am doing this for us, for our marriage and for our estate. You make me very happy with this news, but, I warn you, you must never speak of that man again, never!” he was adamant that her lover was to be wiped out of their memories.
“Thank you, my love; thank you so very much,” she said, kissing his hand this time. She really had married a good man.
Chapter 18
Malcolm was contemplating on a letter from his son, Tristan. It was full of bad news that the army was not recruiting him back, which had been a blow to him. Unemployment was rife and it seemed there was no future for his son, though he was in the big city of London, trying his luck. One thing that he could be proud of was that his son was a fighter and would not give up easily. Had the boy not been stupid enough to let his heart lead his head, then there would have been a place for him on the estate. Not that Tristan would have been happy training to be a gardener. He was destined for better things, so he often informed his father.
Malcolm would send him some money to find better accommodation. When he had visited him, he was not impressed with where he lived in London, but that was probably because he had lived in such open spaces most of his life, whereas his son was used to city life. Still, he would send him some money, even though Tristan would be annoyed at receiving it. No one liked charity, especially someone as proud as his son.
“Malcolm, might I have a word?” a male voice broke into his thoughts.
“Oh, m’Lord,” Malcolm was taken aback, his Lordship had never sought out his presence, ever, this could only mean trouble. He must know about the baby by now, perhaps he would soon find himself swelling the ranks of the unemployed.
“Come, let’s walk,” his Lordship suggested, the same tactic as the Lady had when she spoke privately with him.
“M’Lord, of course,” he agreed, following Lord Hexley, again with his hat in hand.
“I know that Lady Hexley has spoken with you, about the baby,” he got straight to the point, this needed dealing with and brushing out of the way as quickly as possible. “I propose to buy a ticket to the Americas for your son, along with a healthy sum of money so he can make a new life for himself. This is a generous offer, given the times; do you think he will accept?”
“Tis a generous offer, indeed, Sir, and I don’t rightly know,” Malcolm swallowed his words, unsure what to say or do. This would be a perfect opportunity for Tristan, but would he take it?
“He would be a fool to refuse it,” Lord Hexley said, hoping his father might help persuade him. “Have you told him about the baby?”
“No Sir, I have not, on account that he’s young enough to go and fall in love and make a family elsewhere.”
His Lordship placed his hand on Malcolm’s elbow, “Thank you, Malcolm. You have a wise head on your shoulders. “Let’s just tell him that this is for him to never show his face around here again, shall we?”
“We shall, Sire, but it also means I will probably never see my son again,” Malcolm had to say it as it saddened his heart. “Although, it will bring me joy that the boy will get a chance to start a new life. He’d be a fool to turn you down, me Lord.”
“So help me make the offer too tempting for him to turn down, will you?” the Lord asked.
“It is the best one he’ll be getting, me Lord, that’s for sure,” the gardener said.
“And you, Malcolm, what shall you be wanting? It will be hard for you, should the child look like Tristan. Might it not be better if we retire you now, somewhere that you may enjoy your old age?”
And there it was, his marching orders, he knew it was coming.
“Aye, m’Lord, I suppose it’ll be for the best. Though I’ll miss the grounds,” Malcolm admitted.
“How about by the sea?” Lord Hexley suggested. “We have a number of fisherman’s cottages by the sea; I have one empty at the moment. It is yours to live in, for your remaining days, rent free and a yearly amount for you to live comfortably. Do you think you’d like being by the sea, Malcolm?”
“Aye, m’Lord, it’s as good a place as any, suppose,” Malcolm did quite like the idea of the sea air; he had only been to the coast on one occasion, so it would be a whole new experience for him. “These cottages, do they have gardens, me Lord?”
Lord Hexley laughed, “This one does, Malcolm, that’s why I thought it perfect for you. You’ve served this estate all of your life, Malcolm. I think you deserve to take it easy in your old age,” he finished.
“I’ll get working on my son, then, m’Lord. Sees what can be done,” Malcolm promised. Tristan might be against it at first, just because of principles, but he would come around. What better offer did he have anyway?