Authors: Jessa Hawke
After that, I cannot say that it was too difficult. Jim, for all that I was blind to other men’s charms because Luan had ruined me for other males, was a pretty attractive guy in his own right. His body was great from all that lacrosse and the daily runs and workout he kept up. It had light hair on it, a few shades lighter than the hair on his head, except for his pubic hair.
That first night, all I did was suck his dick. I knew that Jim was a little bit of a traditionalist and figured he must like the chase, considering how long he had kept lusting after me. So that night that I made him dinner at my apartment, I made sure to go for classy sexy rather than blatant. My blouse covered my arms, wrists, and back, but dipped into a deep V in the front, and every time I bent over—which I did a lot that night, he could catch a glimpse of my breasts. I had forgone the bra. I liked my breasts—they were full, round, and smooth, and I had a tiny, scandalous mole that was at the top of my right one. I went for a loose, pleated skirt that I could hike up almost to mid-thigh when I sat next to Jim on the couch and crossed my legs.
At first, he seemed so nervous that I wasn’t sure he’d go for it. But I needn’t have worried. Men of Jim’s caliber—most men, in fact—do not let an opportunity like the one I had presented to him up. He held on for about fifteen minutes before lunging at me from the side. His mouth was on my mouth, warm and fleshy, and he was groping my breasts through my shirt and running his hands up my thighs for all he was worth. I expected to be disgusted, but the truth was was that I was doing this to be near Luan and Jim was a pretty decent kisser. The whole experience was better than I had predicted it would be. After making out for about ten minutes, I finally pushed Jim off me, and when he fell back against the couch, he looked up at me with these big pleading eyes that begged me not to stop. I felt surprisingly sexy in that moment, and it was mixed with the sway of power I knew I held over him.
I got down on my knees in front of Jim. I unbuttoned his shirt, making myself go slowly, hearing him breathe faster as I got to his belt buckle. When I unzipped his pants, I didn’t even have to lift his penis out. He arched up his hips so that his pants fell to his knees and his erection sprang out at me. He was a good length, not too small, but not so large that he would make this difficult. I bent my head over him, letting my blond hair fall over my face like a sheet, to separate us. I worked my mouth up and down the length of him, licking my hand to lubricate it and help me out. It wasn’t too long, thankfully, before Jim had reached out and gripped my head in his hands, moaning ecstatically out loud. He had come all over my lips, and the taste of his semen was slightly salty.
I knew Jim was a little old-fashioned, but I certainly wasn’t expecting a marriage proposal after three months. I had teased him for as long as I could, doing everything but, as the saying goes, but how long could I realistically hold him off after giving him a blowjob on our first date? He and Luan found themselves apartments in Raleigh, and after a couple of weeks, Jim wrote me, telling me he missed his honeybunch just oh too much to go on living in another state without me. I could retch, but I was also suffused with a strange kind of happiness. It had worked! And in some ways, it was even better than I had imagined, wasn’t it? If I married Jim, as long as he and Luan would remain partners, I could always go where they went, be it North Carolina or any of the other states the business was opening up. I would be married to Jim, but I would also always be near Luan.
I never thought it strange, somehow, that Luan never settled down with anyone. Sure, he would date women from time to time, and it always wrenched somewhere deep inside me like a knife, but it was always overshadowed by the deep joy I would feel whenever it didn’t work out. We were only thirty, after all, and Jim and I had gotten married fairly young by most standards. I would lay next to Jim at night, aglow with the joy of another of my stepbrother’s breakups, and picture him coming to me, his perfectly angled face sad and depressed, and I would hold him until he felt no pain anymore, until he looked up at me with long-awaited tenderness in his eyes and tell me that I was the right woman for him after all, and how glad he was that I had stayed nearby all these years. What would he do without me? And then he would lean over and kiss me, and the feeling of it would sail all the way down to my belly and balloon me up on happiness and lust.
I would wake up from these dreams with my nipples brushing against the fabric of my pajamas and one hand thrust between my legs to control the aching. The aching I could never voice out loud to anyone, especially not to my husband. Dear, simple Jim. I had gotten used to him over the years. The sex was good, but I never could work myself out of the habit of picturing Luan’s face every time I came, hot and wet, all over my husband’s cock. Jim never suspected anything, and thought it was just a stroke of luck in his life that his wife and his best friend were on such good terms. And there was nothing to fear, clearly, because they were family. He brought home enough money so that my job as secretary at their local firm was all but a formality, but I would not have given it up for the world. It was my excuse to be around Luan on a daily basis, to make him coffee, to rub his shoulders in a “sisterly” fashion and console him when things weren’t going too great. Anything for my brother.
I got sucked into life’s complacency, as people often do. The ache of wanting the forbidden had become a part of my daily routine, and whenever it became too much for me, I’d slip on that black lacy negligee that Jim likes so much, and he would know it was go time. My favorite was when he’d flip me onto my hands and knees and fuck me from behind, because that way, I didn’t have to see his face. He always complained that he didn’t feel like he connected with me so well that way, but this didn’t bother me. He was not the one I wanted to connect with. Sometimes, I could swear Luan felt something, too, just like in the old days, but I was never sure. Maybe part of the attraction, part of the sickness, was that nobody ever said anything out loud.
And Jim was always there, like a thorn in my side. But he was always faithful, which I appreciated, because it meant I didn’t have to go through the proceedings of a divorce and ruin what I had, this proximity. He was always faithful until the one day where he didn’t seem quite so faithful as before.
It was also banal, how I found out. Jim was in the shower, and over the sound of running water, I heard his phone go off. Out of habit, I leaned over and picked it up. The number on the screen was not one that I recognized, so I clicked it open, thinking it was just junk.
Well.
Not unless junk reads,
Hey, it’s me. We’ve got something important to discuss. I’ll see you in Chicago.
God damn it. What did you go and do, Jim?
I knew that Luan and Jim had some big conference happening over in Illinois; Jim had filled me in on the details the week before. What he didn’t fill me in on, apparently, was the date he had with some other woman there. Wasn’t I a good wife? Didn’t I suck his cock on big holidays and special weekends besides?
I got a cheap flight out to Chicago for the same day that Jim was supposed to arrive there. I was the one who had booked his flight there to begin with, so I knew everything, down to the hotel room he was sharing with Luan. I rented the room directly next to them. I waited until I heard two voices coming from the room, with Luan’s clearly distinguishable as the more nervous of the two. What did he have to be nervous about? I blessed everything that I still held holy that the divider between our balconies was slight enough so that I could climb over it. Thankfully, the blinds were the cheap kind that hang on long strips, so while Luan and Jim couldn’t tell that I was hiding out there, I could pick a spot where I could clearly see the two of them together.
There was not much I could hear, but Luan looked as nervous as the pitch of his voice had indicated. He was talking wildly at Jim, and the look on Jim’s face confused me utterly. He looked shocked, then embarrassed, as Luan paced back and forth and gesticulated, those beautiful, smooth fingers of his flying wildly through the air. He looked so earnest as he actually, to my pure shock, sank to his knees in front of Jim and clasped my husband’s hands in his.
And then he kissed him.
Oh.
OH.
It all suddenly made so much sense. That “woman” Jim was supposed to be meeting in Chicago? Luan. And that very important thing Luan needed to discuss with his best friend?
I was pretty certain it had something to do with that lip lock he had just planted on him.
All those years of the two of them traveling together. All that effort put into maintaining Jim as an equal partner in the company. How long had this been going on? From the looks of Jim’s facial expression, this was the first time that Luan had said anything to him about the way he felt. It was clear as day to me, and just as painful. My stepbrother felt the way about his best friend as I felt about my stepbrother. The only question was, how did Jim feel about Luan?
That was answered in the next few seconds as Jim clasped Luan’s face in his and stood him up, kissing him all the while. It was desperate and hungry, and there was something about the way the stubble on Jim’s face scratched into Luan’s tender jaw that was both shameful and unbelievably erotic. They had their hands all over each other, and it would have looked like the most natural thing in the world, like two men fighting, if they hadn’t been joined at the mouth, tongues lapping at each other, and undressing each other with a fervor I would not have expected. Luan was turning Jim around, his chest bared to the world, where he had very little hair, and for a moment, I was terrified that the two of them would see me, but I needn’t have worried. Jim’s eyes were squeezed shut and Luan was kissing him all over his neck and jawline, and it looked like it was all Jim could do not to loll the full weight of his body against Luan. Roughly, Luan unbuckled Jim’s pants, and the minute my stepbrother slipped his hand down my husband’s chiseled torso and inside of his pants to reach for his cock, working him in long, smooth strokes, everything changed.
I do not know what the years did to me, but I did know that the sight of my stepbrother’s illicit love for his best friend and business partner was turning me on more than anything I could have ever pictured in my wildest dreams. In the most obvious way possible, I could understand Luan. Who knew better than me what it was like to harbor a secret lust for somebody you cannot have? In that moment, I felt so close to them that it was like I was in the room with them. Why the sight of my husband being in there added to this feeling, I do not know, but I suppose years of having sex with Jim conditioned my body and brain to respond to him in a certain way.
It was as if I was standing in between them. They were surprised, at first, to see me, but strangely, it did not matter. I was coming up to the two of them, and unpeeling all of my clothes slowly. The sight of my body was arousing them, and the more clothes ended up on the floor, the more linked we all felt. It was as if we all had one pulse, and it was beating faster and faster.
We took turns. The details were blurry. First, I was kissing Luan’s chest, tumbling head over heels with him like we were teenagers again, only this time, when I felt him press between my legs, it was the warmth of his naked cock there instead of his jeans. His penis was beautiful, with its pink mushroom hair, and then in the next instant, he was gone, and I was being cradled along the nest of Jim’s body as the two men sandwiched me between them, kissing one another. It was so dirty, so wrong, that it wrenched a groan from all of us, but we were so far gone it almost didn’t matter anymore. In the next moment, Luan’s face was buried in Jim’s ass, stroking the sides of his haunches with his fingers, my husband quivering as I had often quivered beneath similar ministrations, and I was so wet, watching the two of them, I felt like the whole room knew it, and I knew that I wanted them to know. I wanted them to know what I smelled like, so I brushed myself with my fingers and brought them to my mouth. Then I passed my fingers over Luan’s lips and he opened his mouth to draw my finger in, to suck on it and ingest the taste of my juices.
Jim lay on the bed, the muscled ripple of him manly and inviting. His reddish hair was pushed back on his forehead and his pupils were dilated so far that his eyes were almost black. I sat atop him like he was a throne, and he cupped my breasts in his hands and licked my neck. All I could hear was myself mewling like a kitten as my excitement grew, but deep between my legs, I knew that I was still missing something. I felt empty inside, and a strange twinge was growing inside of me; the orgasm of a lifetime was building as Jim sucked on my neck so hard that I knew I was going to wake up with hickeys in the morning. Everything like teenagers now, it seems.
When I saw Luan, I knew what I had been waiting for.
He spread my legs, and I felt that in that moment, I trusted him utterly. I lay there, pink, exposed, and vulnerable in a way I had not been in a very long time. He drank me in, the open wetness of me, and licked his gorgeous lips. When his cock began to split my opening, I gasped. Here it was, everything I had been waiting for. He slid into me, long and satisfying, and I felt my body adjusting to him, to this new fullness, and then he moved inside of me. He moved once, and again, and I was lost to our rhythm, bucking against him wildly in a haze, locked into those incredible brown eyes of his that I have loved always. He came first, and it was the most wonderful thing in the world, watching him come undone in my body. He hit that spot inside my body that had been begging for release, and there were no words that could describe the power of what I felt in that moment.