Authors: Jessa Hawke
Oh shit, did I leave some dishes in the sink or something? What does she want?
I don’t know what I did, but she’s still standing there because I can see her feet from under the door. There’s really no point in saying I’m not home, she knows I am, where the hell else am I going to be?
“Who is it?”
Idiot. You know who it is Miranda, are we really going to play dumb?
“It’s Sharae, I wanted to see if you wanted to have dinner with me tonight?”
What?
“What?”
“Yeah I know that it’s kind of a surprise, seeing as how we’re both never home but I think it’s time we kind of get to know each other.”
Don’t get off the bed, it’s a set up! Remember prom, remember prom!
“Um…”
“It’s kind of hard talking through a door, would you mind if I came in? Or would I be overstepping my boundaries?” That was a new one for me; no one had ever asked me that before. Maybe she’s being genuine, can’t judge every book by the cover, but I do owe it to myself to find out if this is some kind of joke.
Just do it, get off the bed and open the door.
“Just one second.”
Oh smooth move, hurry up before she walks away from the door.
I got off and the bed and straightened my clothes before I opened the door. I just have to remind myself that whatever happens, to remember we’re both people and we’ll have some common ground. I opened the door to see her face, and immediately I could feel myself falling back into my shell.
“Hi.”
Oh my god she’s fucking hot!
“Hi.” Her smile was brighter than all of the pictures that were hanging over campus.
“Well, like I said, I know that you’re a little surprised, but I think that we should try to get to know each other. We’ve been here for a month and I don’t know anything about you. Other than that you work all the time, you study all night, and you’re always home.”
“Yeah that pretty much sums me up.”
“Oh my God! You’ve got to come with me to Marcelino’s. It’s this really nice restaurant that serves the best Italian food in California—whatever you can think of they have it.”
“Um, ok. Let me change clothes and I’ll meet you in the living room in five minutes.”
“Ok cool, that’ll give me enough time to touch up my make up.”
“Ok.” I watched her bounce on her legs and turn back into her room.
Oh My god did that just happen? Did Sharae` just invite me to go somewhere with her? In public? Okay, okay, don’t get too excited. You still don’t know if this is a set up, but you need this, so just tread lightly and put on a cute top. Try that new eye shadow you’ve been saving for two years—nope, actually keep saving that, use the old palate.
I figured I should probably wear that cute camisole mom bought me, that way I’m covered on all bases. Just in case it’s not as casual as I think, but then again, I’m not sure who’s actually going to be there and wearing something mom picked out is probably not going to work so well. After all, she shops for me in the same place she gets her clothes. No wonder people think I’m thirty! It’s bad enough I’m fat, but I have to look old too? As I’m looking through my drawers for a nicer top, I am coming to the realization that a lot of my clothes are hand-me-downs from my mom and grandma and I’m really in need of a new wardrobe. No wonder I can’t get a guy to pay attention to me! I’ve been a walking advertisement for chastity all this time. I really don’t have time to keep pussyfooting around. I’m pretty sure Sharae` is ready to get out of here.
“Hey girl, you ready?”
Right on schedule
“Yep, I’m just throwing on my top.” Mom’s camisole was going to have to do, for now anyway. I’ll just have to make sure to set some money aside for new clothes. Maybe it won’t even matter though. I’ll just have to see when we get to Marcelino’s.
*******
Marcelino’s is much bigger than I imagined. I thought it was going to be like some dine-in/have fun and games type of place like Dave and Buster’s. It’s actually pretty classy, and this old ass shirt blended in just fine.
“You are going to love this place. Everybody from campus comes here at least once a month when they can afford it.”
“It’s that expensive?”
Fuck I only have thirty dollars to hold me until next week.
“No, it’s just the food is so good you’ll go broke trying to buy more to take home for the next day. I remember the first time I came here and tried their pasta and shrimp. It was so good I spent fifty more dollars just to take some over to my mom.”
The hostess guides us to a huge booth that sat in the middle of the floor. It just so happened that we were facing the hugest bar that I’d ever seen. I thought that the alcohol seems abundant and everybody seems so chill.
“So let’s get back down to it. Tell me about yourself, where are from?”
“St. Paul, Minnesota.”
“Wow, then you really are a long way from home. What made you want to come all the way here?”
Oh there it is, the million dollar question. She certainly didn’t waste any time did she?
“The honest truth? I came all this way to start my life over.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well…back in Minnesota I wasn’t very well known. I was pretty much invisible, and it’s funny ‘cause how could anyone not notice me as big as I am.” Sharae shot me the weirdest look, like she though what I was saying was completely foreign to her.
“Oh honey no, big is in sweetheart. They may not have known about it in Minnesota, but big beautiful women are all the rage in this city sweetie. Don’t let anybody tell you that they aren’t, and you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself, you’re gorgeous.”
“Yeah, right.”
“Seriously you are, and believe it or not. I know a place where guys would love to meet a nice juicy booty like you.”
Juicy booty? Is she pulling my leg right now?
I have no idea where she got that from, but I guess if she liked saying I’ll love it. But I still had a twinge of doubt that she was actually trying to be nice to me. Everything about Sharae seemed entirely too perfect, so I couldn’t help but open my mouth and ask her that burning question about her motives.
“Is this a set up?”
“What?” The look on her face was quite shocking. It kind of made me feel a little bad.
“You know, are you just bringing me out here just to prank me later on. Cause if you are I’m just going to tell you, it happens to me all the time so I don’t think you’re going to get a good laugh out of it.”
“Oh my God, no! Is that what you thought this was? Honestly, I’m not like that I just wanted to get to know the person I’m going to be sharing a home with for the next eleven months.”
“That’s it?”
“Yeah, I swear.” Needless to say, I can relax now that I know she’s not trying to prank me, but I’m still no fool. I know there’s something that she wants to say to me. I just hope it’s not mean. For the longest time I felt a hush between us, even when the food came all we did was sit there and eat among a rowdy crowd of college kids. I hope nobody’s watching me eat and pointing at me, that would really be the last thing that I need. We should really try to break the ice here, I feel really bad now and I should probably apologize for catching her off guard like that. Yeah, good move.
“I’m sorry about what I said. I’m just not used to people being nice to me outside of my own family, you know.”
“Well that’s easy to understand. You know my freshman year here, I was quite thick too.”
“What?”
“Seriously. I was two hundred and thirty pounds.”
That I couldn’t believe, her body was amazing there was no way that she was close to my size. Her stomach is flat and her ass is perfectly round and luscious. Even her tits were perky with perfect cleavage that was highlighted by her deep v-neck shirt. Bottom line there is no way that this girl ever had a round belly, back rolls, or chunky thighs like mine…Like really, I just couldn’t see that. But far be it from me to want to discredit somebody else’s life.
“How did you lose all of the weight?”
“I just got tired of being over-weight, and then one day I went with a friend to the gym on campus and we worked out every single day like crazy. By the beginning of sophomore year I was down a hundred pounds.”
“DO you ever still think of yourself as fat?”
“All the time, but you know, it’s good to have an outlet where you can still remind yourself that you aren’t who you used to be. I even started joining a few clubs here and there to help me break out of my shell. In fact I definitely know of one that you would do great in.”
Finally there it was my key into the world of College popularity. She was going to give me the keys to the kingdom and all I would have to do is walk through. I wouldn’t mind going to sit at her sorority meetings. Actually I had high hopes of joining another one but I was sure that she had the connections to get me there. I totally judged her too harshly; Sharae was the life line I’d been looking for.
“What kind of club?” Apparently that was the question that she’d been waiting for me to ask the entire night. Because she suddenly dropped her fork and leaned in close to me across the table and she was shooting me a look as if she was about to initiate me into a strange world behind the one that we’re living in. I wasn’t sure how to feel about that, but I can guarantee that I’m ready to do something else. I needed something to finally get myself out there.
“Well, let’s just start off with me asking you a few questions. I am going to get a little personal so you let me know when you’re a little uncomfortable.”
“Ok, shoot.”
“Do you have a boyfriend or anything?”
“No. in fact I haven’t ever had one.”
“Really why?”
“Like I said, where I’m from, guys aren’t the biggest fans of a big girl.”
“Good, can I ask you if you’re a fan of books?”
“Yeah, I mean as long as it’s not chemistry. I hate that damn class.”
“Perfect. The kind of books that I’m talking about have nothing to do with that type of chemisty.”
“What kind of chemistry are you talking about then?”
“Only the best kind, involving passion, life, and not to mention a whole lot of sex!”
“Like a brothel—“
“No, not at all. See we have a book club in a place not too far from here. Once a week we all get together and read passages from erotic anthologies. Some of the members of the club even wrote some of the books we read. I honestly think you’ll fit in with the group.”
Erotic? Does she mean books about people having sex?
“When you say erotic…Do you mean books about sex right? Like S&M kind of stuff?”
“Yeah some of the stories are like that, but it’s more in terms of art. I really think you’ll like it and you know there are a lot of hot guys there. You never know – you might even meet someone who peaks your interest”
Now, I had no idea where she had gotten this idea that I would be into talking about sex in a room full of strangers. Clearly we never talked about things like this in Minnesota; like,really – never. I mean, listening to sex-ed lectures in high school made me uncomfortable, and now she expects me to sit through a book club meeting where we all talk about is sex? How long would it be before those anonymous hook ups started and we were all standing in a circle all in masks like that Tom Cruise movie. I would have to get more details about this before I agreed to go anywhere like that with her. Although I do have to admit, it did intrigue me, just a tiny bit…ok maybe a lot. I just can’t jump in head first.
“Well, what’s the alternative to going?”
“Well why wouldn’t you want to go? You’ll be able to expand your mind beyond those small minded people in conservative Minnesota. This is better than Greek life too, and who’s to say you won’t have a story of your own to tell.”
That’s when it hit me; she was right. That was the whole point of her telling me about the whole book club. It was the way into the school’s central control line, a secret society that would allow me to get into any and everything that I needed. I still wasn’t sure if that was something that I wanted to do. I mean how far did all of this go? Do they all meet up and just read? Or meet up, read and then partner up and screw? I’m not sure about it. Maybe she can give me a lifeline or something because this wasn’t an easy decision to make.
“I’ll have to think about it for a second.”
“Well before you do that, let me paint a picture for you. I’ve heard you on the phone with your mom some days, telling her that you were just doing the same old routine every single day. I knew you weren’t lying because every time I come home, I can see that the light in your bedroom is still on. How much longer are you going to let yourself do that? How long will it be for you start resenting even coming to California and not acknowledging that it was your fault? When are you going to start living for yourself instead of letting life take you in? Here’s the million dollar question, when are you going to get a boyfriend that’s not battery operated?”