Authors: Jessa Hawke
I vowed never to forget how I felt that first time I held his face – that sheer joy I felt and the understanding I had that this man was going to be my love forever. I promised him peace of mind that I will always be his and he will always be mine. I promised to cook him eggs and bacon every morning and make him coffee just after lunch. I promised to give him all of me, every single bit of who I was, who I am, and who I will be in the future.
I promised him my devotion – a never ending supply of affection. I promised to wrap him in a warm embrace when it gets too cold in this big scary world.
I promised him everything he could ever ask of me. I promised him my world.
When we said those vows, I turned to the people who had come and make this union possible: the Fields who never questioned my love for their son, and my family, who had changed for the better, even Henry. Every single person who made this dream comes true. I looked to them as tears slowly blotted my mascara. This time they were tears of utter joy.
I do.
THE END
Sinful Desires
Chapter 1 All Aboard
“At least we’re not in the bottom of the damn ship, in the steerage, Eileen,” Wallace says, trying to calm his wife down. “The conditions down there are inhumane.”
“I wonder, now, if we should have done this, Wallace? Will our child survive?” she answered, a frown of worry etched on her brow.
“He’s a tough mite, Eileen, don’t worry so for him. This is the only way we can make something of our lives. We couldn’t have stayed in Ireland, not for love nor money. You saw the starvation the disease, no food, no prospects. No, Eileen, this is what I want for us, this is our future.”
He was right, of course, what did Ireland have to offer them now, other than starvation. They had agreed that as soon as the baby was twelve months old, they’d get a boat to Liverpool in England. This is where everyone else was heading, if they had the money. Wallace had sold his small newspaper inherited from his father, though it broke his heart to do so, but he was determined to get his family to safety They considered staying in England, but the British did not show any kindness to the Irish. Many in Ireland believed that disease brought the potato blight, but the English the famine. America would be their destination, there they would be accepted and they would find work.
Having booked passage on a liner, that would take them over the ocean, they were headed on to a new life. With the money he had earned in the sale of his business, they had managed a reasonable cabin in second class, in the stateroom. It would also mean that they wouldn’t have to queue at immigration when they arrived, their medical would be done on board the ship. This was a blessing, and a luxury that only money could buy. They have more room than most, and an extra meal a day, compared to the poor souls cramped in the steerage class. It hadn’t left them with much though, and they had no idea as to the cost of things, such as accommodation, would be. They still had here jewelry that had been inherited. They would sell this, as a last resort. For now though, the journey had only just begun, and there were long weeks ahead of them, before they would reach the promised land.
The sea had become rough and the waves rocked the ship from side to side. Eileen had still not got used to the motion, and she could felt the usual churning in her stomach. Seasickness, it was called, but for Eileen sickness did not adequately describe it. She had spent many an hour retching helplessly in the latrines. She needed to get out of the stuffy cabin and breathe in some fresh air. Although they were second class, cabin passengers, they often smelt the stench from the poor souls below them. Leaving her husband to care for the child, she wrapped a warm coat around her and ventured out onto the decks. It was at times like this that she wished she could dress in simple clothing, instead of a long dress down to her ankles and fastened all the way up to her neck to cover her modestly. At least she didn't have to suffer the impracticalities of a bustle, but Wallace had insisted that they should keep up appearances, so she had brought as much as she could, of her cumbersome dresses.
They were allowed on to the top deck, but clambering up the metal steps, with a long dress at her ankles, was difficult and not very lady like. Though it was not going to stop her from going up and seeking fresher air. She picked up the hemline of her dress in one hand, and carefully climbed the the stairs to the deck, keeping a firm hold of the railings as the sea swung the boat from side to side. Already she was beginning to feel a little better just by breathing in the fresh, sea air. Just as she almost reached the top of the stairway, the boat rocked violently, almost throwing her from the steps, and sending her crashing back down, Fortunately, for her, a strong hand grasped hers and dragged her back up to safety, averting an almost certain disaster.
Chapter 2 A Rocking Ship
Flushed, and trembling slightly from the experience, she raised her head to thank the kind soul who had saved her, but she was left bereft of voice as she stared at the stranger before her. She had never seen a man so strikingly handsome. He was tall, well over six feet in height, sparkling blue eyes, that seemed to hint at mischief, and a strong structural face with a well defined nose, a large generous mouth and strong jawline.
“My dear,” he said, in a soft, but deep, voice, “should you be up here, unaccompanied?” He noticed her pale features, “you look a little ill?” he questioned.
“Ye…yes thank you," she managed to stutter, realizing she was staring. Quickly, she averted her gaze, her face burning from the flush of embarrassment.
“I appreciate your concern, sir, I understand that this not the best of places for a lady, but if I don’t breath in the sea air, on occasion, I fear I may rot down there.”
“Come, take my arm and I will walk along the deck with you,” he had been struck by her beauty and desired her company, so he offered his arm in support.
“I am a married woman, sir,” she said, instantly, “I cannot be seen walking arm in arm with a stranger, but thank you for your kind offer.”
“It is fine madam, I do not mean to harm your reputation,” a smile came to his lips as if he was making fun of her, “but I am one of the ship’s doctors, so no one will find it scandalous that I aid you in your distress.”
She looked at him uncertain, a smile still played on his lips, but she took the offered arm and together they strolled along the deck.
“Are you suffering the curse of the sea?” he asked, genuinely concerned. “I notice that you are pale. Many suffer from the sea sickness. It takes a strong constitution to be untouched from the rocking of the ship.”
“I do, sir,” she confirmed to him. “I have had many a wretched hour feeling like my insides are turned the wrong way around. I do not know how anyone can possibly be immune to it.”
“You get used to it, or at least most do,” he informed her. “I have some medicine in my dispensary, if you would like to come with me. It will help alleviate the symptoms.”
“So, it is true then, you really are the ship’s doctor, and it wasn't a ploy to take advantage of me?” she couldn't believe how bold she was, with this handsome young man. His charming behaviour had completely lowered her guard.
“No madam, I do not make a habit of prowling the decks looking for damsels in distress, no matter how pretty they are,” his voice stern, almost scolding.
Again the blood rose in here face, embarrassed at his rebuke.
“Please sir, forgive me, I did not mean to impl…” she stopped short when she saw the grin on his face. “Really, now you make fun of me?” the inflection in her voice acquired an injured tone.
“Of course not,” he reassured her, “I merely hoped to lighten your mood. Please, accept my apology now, and the offer of the medicine still stands. It really will help.”
They continued to walk along the deck in silence, until they approached a stairwell. Stopping just before the descent he and turned to her, “My dispensary is just below, it really will help you,” he invited, once again.
Eileen mulled his offer over in her head, uncertain why she felt so reluctant. The man seemed genuine and charming, what did she have to lose?
Perhaps,
she thought to herself,
he is not the reason for my reluctance, but it is me
. She had a feeling of unease ever since meeting him. His striking good looks had stirred something inside of her, that felt alien. She normally never looked at another man, and especially the way she had been looking at him. It scared her a little.
“Is that a yes, or no? I really must get on as there are many patients below decks,” his voice cut through her thoughts.
“Yes, of course,” she blurted out, instantly regretting it, she would feel foolish changing her mind now, “please, lead the way.”
Chapter 3 A Man’s Cabin
He led her down the stairs and through the first door they came to, into a large cabin. It was disorganized, medical supplies everywhere. Along the walls were cabinets full of bottles, an assortment of colored liquids and pills. Medical instruments on the table, and at the far end, an examination table. As Eileen scanned the room, she was shocked to see personal belongings and a large bed in the corner.
“This is your cabin?” she asked, a note of reproach in her voice.
“Yes,” he replied with a smile. “The ship cannot afford the space for a doctor to have a separate surgery, so I must make do. Please, will you be seated?” He pointed at the table, which had two chairs around it.
Had he misled her intentionally? Had she known he slept here, she would never have followed him. Indecision, clouded her mind, she should not be here, in another man’s cabin without a chaperone, even if he was a doctor.
“I really think I should leave,” she informed him, heading towards the door.
He stood before her and blocked her way out, but there was no threat or menace about him. Reaching over, he took her hand in his, his large hands easily enveloped hers.
“Please, madam, sit down and relax. I mean only the best for you.”
His touch was electric and Eileen shivered involuntarily, feeling slightly shaken. She sat at the table, her knees weak and trembling.
“You have a flush about you, madam, are you feeling well?”
All Eileen could do was nod. She was afraid her voice would betray her and give away her inner emotions. The doctor walked over to a cabinet by the bed and returned to the table with a bottle of brandy and two glasses in hand. Sitting opposite her, he poured two drinks, pushing one over to Eileen.
“Drink this, it will make you feel better.”
“Is this your seasickness cure, Doctor?” she asked, accusingly, feeling that she had once again been tricked.
The Doctor smiled reassuringly, “No, madam, this is simply to calm your tremors, you are shaking like all over.”
She sipped slowly at the brandy. The burning heat was welcoming and comforting. As it spread through her body, the alcohol slowly released her tensions and she started to relax. She finished the glass, placing it back down on the table.
“Let me introduce myself,” he said with a friendly manner. “All this, sir, and madam, is becoming tiresome,” he said, holding out his hand. “My name is Aaron Garner, and I am the good doctor of this ship. I’m also on my way home.”
Eileen took his hand, but he surprised her when he turned it over, bent forward and brushed his lips across the back of it. Again, the touch of his skin on hers was amazing, and little pulses of pleasure rushed through her body. Eileen felt grateful that she was seated, because she was not confident her legs would have held up.
“Eileen, Eileen Murphy,” she managed to blurt out. “My husband and I are making our way to the Americas, to start a new life.”
Chapter 4 Hot Flushes
Aaron looked on appreciatively as she became more relaxed.
“I am sure such a beautiful woman will find America perfect,” he said. “There are plenty of opportunities for those who are prepared to work hard. My father emigrated twenty five years ago, with nothing but the clothes on his back. Now he is a successful business man and has put me through medical college.”
“So you are American, then? I thought I noticed a certain accent, but I couldn't quite trace it. I’m not used to the various English accents, having only just arrived from Ireland.”
“And I thought I detected your Irish lilt, it is very becoming,” again she noticed that smile with the mischievous glint in his eyes, it made her stomach flip, but not with seasickness.
What is the matter with you, Eileen Murphy
? She chided herself. She reached for her glass to take another drink, it would likely steady her nerves, before then she remembered her stomach was empty.
Aaron noticed her actions and picked up the bottle of brandy.
“Here, let me,” he said whilst pouring another brandy into her glass.
She watched and gratefully took a large gulp, pretending not to notice that the had not filled his own glass.
What might that be about?
She wondered. The alcohol was working its way through her blood system, easing her tension and lowering her inhibitions. She no longer felt uncomfortable at being alone in the good doctors presence, in fact, she was enjoying it. His conversation was witty and charming as he recounted his life in the Americas, telling her how wonderful it was. Occasionally he touched her hand when making a specific point, and on one occasion he simply left it there. His hand felt strong and firm on hers, which in contrast, was delicate and soft.
Eileen took another gulp of brandy, felling hotter and hotter in here, she was certain it was not all down to the alcohol. Aaron could see that she was relaxing to his charms and felt a tingle of excitement flush through his body. Now seemed a good time to make his move.
“You are flushed again, Eileen, are you well?” he feigned concern, his motives being predatory.
He’s right
, Eileen thought to herself,
she is hot and flushed
. As she pulled at the lace of her bodice, she exposed her cleavage, trying to cool her self down.
Aaron sat, his eyes fastened to her breasts as she exposed more bare skin. He was not one to take advantage of a drunken woman, especially one as refined as Eileen, but his passions were rising and getting the better of his good judgement.
“Here let me help you,” he offered, standing and moving around to her side of the table.
His hands reached for the lace that held the top of her bodice together, pulling on it to loosen it further. More of her cleavage became exposed and Aaron thought he could just glimpse the sight of the edge of her pink areole. The brief glimpse sends his blood coursing to his male member, as it rapidly grew in his pants.
Eileen was aware of the doctor’s closeness at her side, and when he gently pulled at the lace holding the front of her bodice together, she watched him, knowing exactly what he wanted. She wanted the same thing. The alcohol had lowered her inhibitions, but it had not dulled her senses so she could not control her actions. Aware that she was exposing her breasts to him, she did not care, it was hot in here and the thought of this man staring at her breast only served to arouse her more.
Aaron could not believe his luck, this demure woman, who had been very reserved and shy about being alone with him, was now exposing her breasts to him. From the glint of lust he had seen in her eye, he knew she was enjoying her little exhibitionism. Taking this opportunity, he reached forward and planted little kisses on her cleavage.