Authors: Kelly Clark
He was an Adonis, shimmering in the dim light.
He
wore a tailored suit that accentuated every masculine curve I had admired.
“Evening, Tess,” he said.
I forgot what I was supposed to say. He laughed and eased into the chair across from me.
“So, where are the people we’re making jealous?” he asked.
I wanted to gesture to the entire restaurant. The place was already full, nearly all the tables occupied by couples. It took me a moment to remember where Craig and Jane
were seated
. When I saw them, I pointed.
John took a quick glance and chuckled.
“What’s Jane doing with that guy?” he asked.
“How do you know Jane?” I wondered.
“She’s probably one of
the most gorgeous
girls on campus. Plus, she was at the party last Friday and my buddy introduced me.”
“Oh,” I said disappointedly.
“It’s going to be hard to make that guy jealous,” John said.
I smirked; if only he knew.
“Then I guess you’re going to have to try extra hard,” I
said
with a smile.
I must have said something he liked. A bottle of wine landed on the table, which the waiter promptly uncorked and poured out two glasses. I sipped on mine, and John didn’t seem to know what to do with it.
“I’m not much of a wine drinker,” he said as he raised the glass to his lips. He quickly downed the entire draft, to my surprise.
“This isn’t that bad,” he added.
I laughed at the goofy smile on his face; he grabbed the bottle and poured himself another drink.
“Okay, I think they’re looking at us,” I said, “just act like we’re on a
date,
and I said something funny.”
He thought for a second, followed by a laugh. I chuckled along and gave a thumb’s up under the table to Craig. Craig wasn’t
really
paying attention to
me,
though.
I’d never seen Craig so distracted. He and Jane were talking and laughing like an old married couple. John turned to look as well.
“They seem to be getting along well, do you think this is going to work?” he asked.
“We won’t know unless we try,” I replied.
I didn’t know what to talk about with John. Sure, we had spent several hours in study sessions, but we didn’t spend much time talking about each other. It was looking like I hadn’t planned this out as well as I thought I had.
“So,” I started, “What do you do for fun?”
“I play football,” he replied.
“You must do more than that,” I said.
“I like to exercise a lot, it helps me play better,” he added.
“Oh,” I said.
“What do you do?” he asked.
“I study, read, sometimes I’ll go for a walk,” I said.
“Reading? Really? Sounds boring,” he replied.
The silence that followed became a heavy burden that neither of us wanted to bear. I didn’t know what to talk about in the slightest. I realized that the guy I had spent so much time idolizing was about as
interesting
as a cucumber.
“How is the team doing?” I asked, trying to break the silence.
“It’s going well,” he replied while slurping at the soup that had been set down in front of him.
“Care to elaborate?” I asked.
“Well, we’ve won the last four games. So we’re doing well,” he informed.
I rolled my eyes and looked over at Craig and Jane again. Why couldn’t my date with John be like theirs? I thought I was an interesting person, but I don’t want to sit here and talk about me all night. I wanted to get to know John better, and maybe become someone that he would like spending
time with
.
“You know, this isn’t working,” I said.
“I told you it probably wouldn’t. She’s practically a model. He’d have to be crazy to go back.”
I felt insulted, and I didn’t know how to say it without screaming. Instead, I just finished what I was eating and set my napkin down; then I summoned the check.
“Oh, don’t be like that. You’re
cute, it
’s just that she’s on a whole different level,” John said, trying to reassure me.
“Thank you for coming out, you can leave now,” I said.
He didn’t budge. Instead, he stared back at me with those eyes I was so lost in last week. I felt small when he
stared
, but I didn’t waver in my intentions.
“Don’t be like that; it’s only been an hour,” he said.
“Don’t feel insulted? I know Jane is attractive, but you don’t have to point it out like that,” I replied angrily.
I snatched my things off the ground and started walking for the exit. Finding out the person that I was interested in had no personality was devastating. I could barely breathe as I walked, and thought about the mess I’d made for myself.
It was
a cool
evening. The autumn air bit at my nostrils as I threw my jacket over my shoulders. The rain that was gingerly falling before was beginning to pick up; meaning there was no way I’d stay dry on my way to the car.
The door behind me was shoved
open,
and John walked out with his masculine swagger.
“Is this all you do?” he asked.
“What are you talking about,” I wondered.
“You run away when something doesn’t go your way. Just like you did last Friday at the party,” he said.
“Why do you care?” I asked, raising my voice.
“I thought you were cute,” he replied, trying to talk
over
me.
He said it a little louder than I
think
he was expecting because he pursed his lips and covered his mouth.
Another awkward silence ensued as I tried to make sense of what he said. The person I’d been attracted to since forever
said
that I was
cute,
and I didn’t know how to respond.
“Then why were you talking about Jane so much?” I asked.
“Because I didn’t know what else to talk about,” he replied, “I’m supposed to be your date, but I don’t know anything about you. I thought you were just trying to make that guy jealous, so you didn’t care much about getting to know me.”
I guess he was just as baffled as I was during the conversation at dinner. Maybe I shouldn’t have made him feel so used.
“Well, since we’re not going anywhere anytime soon,” I said gesturing to the rain, “I guess we have time to talk.”
“What if I don’t want to talk,” he said.
“Then we’ll just have to get used to awkward silence,” I replied.
“I have a better idea,” he said with a smirk.
He leaned in close; closer than normal. I didn’t know what he wanted me to do so I stood there, still as a statue. Inch by inch he closed the gap between the two of us.
His lips touched
mine,
and all the blood in my body rushed to my head. I felt incredibly faint as I leaned into his kiss. His two massive arms wrapped around me and pulled me close.
The kiss lasted only a moment, and I didn’t know what to think of it. He had a talent for kissing.
“What was that for?” I asked.
“It was a thank you gift, for helping me raise my grade,” he said.
Then the doors tore open again. John and I turned to see Craig and Jane walking hand in hand from the restaurant.
“Oh, here you are,” Craig said.
“I see you two have hit it off,” Jane added with a smile.
John leaned in for another
kiss,
and I gave it to him willingly this time. I almost felt myself
go limp
in his embrace.
“I guess the plan worked,” Craig said with a laugh.
“Plan?” John asked.
He released
me,
and I took a step back. None of us knew how to
explain,
so we all just looked to each other for support, but found none.
“Well,” I started, “I
have,
to be honest with you.
I have
never dated Craig. He’s just a good friend of mine. So is Jane.”
John listened to me with a quizzical expression on his face.
“Go on,” he said.
“I heard you needed a tutor, and I wanted to go on a date,” I said.
“So, you made up the story about making your ex-boyfriend jealous to get me to take you out?”
“Yes,” I said sheepishly.
“Wow, Cute and manipulative,” he said. I could see him fuming with frustration.
“It’s like I’m the butt of some big practical joke,” he added.
“John, you’re not-” I pleaded.
“No, don’t start.
I’m done
with all of you.” He said.
He turned and trudged off towards the parking lot in the pouring rain. The rain soaked him to the bone, instantly. I turned to look at Craig and Jane, who both had innocent looks on their faces. Still, they shooed me towards John.
Whether out of pride, or embarrassment, I chased after John in the rain. My jacket was soaked as soon as I stepped out; my dress soon after. I didn’t
care,
though. I needed to try to explain why I did it.
I found him on the far end of the parking lot, about to get into his truck. I sprinted over to the car and
hopped
in the passenger seat before he had a chance to say no.
“Let me explain,” I said.
“Tess, I think you’ve done enough for one night. Just let me go,” he said.
“John, I’ve liked you for far too long, at least let me tell you why I did it.”
He sighed and shut the door. I realized how wet I was when my hair started dripping all over his car interior. He plucked a towel from his duffel bag in the back seat and offered it to me. It wrapped it around my shoulders and did my best to avoid shivering.
“Okay, now’s your chance,” he said.
“The first time I met you was during registration, but I don’t think you remember. I was the dweeby girl that made sure you got into the classes you wanted. The whole time I helped you, you were genuine. You didn’t look down on me, or make fun of me like some of the other football players. I liked that about you. It helped that you were probably
the most gorgeous
man I’ve ever seen.”
He smiled at the compliment. I continued.
“I looked for any chance I could get to say hello, or spend time with you. But, even though I go to a lot of your parties, I never found the chance.
You’re always surrounded by your friends
.
“Then I got this
chance
. I didn’t want to mess it up, but I did. If you never want to talk to me again, I understand. Besides, after tonight I’ve come to realize that we’re just not made for each other after all. You’ll always be John, the center of attention, dating models and partying. I’ll always be me.”
He sighed, and I could see the frustration leave his face.
“
Thanks,
John. I’ll always remember the kiss. I hope you find someone that makes you happy,” I said.
I took off the towel and handed it back to him, then opened the car door back to the pouring rain.
“I’ll just keep watching from the sidelines,” I added.
I stepped out, shut the door and started walking off in a daze.
7.
The rain hid my tears, and I was glad it did. I was soaked to the bone but was too numb to care. I couldn’t tell if it
was
because I had just blown the best shot
I
had at being with John, or if it
was
because John wasn’t the person I thought he’d be. He was a great guy, and I knew he would make someone happy eventually.
I rode with Craig and Jane, and it seemed they had left without me. I’d have to walk back home in the rain.
It wasn’t so bad, though.
I looked forward to having the time to think.
I pulled my soaked jacket back over my shoulders and began my trek home.
Then I heard a honk from behind me. I
turned,
and John was there with his truck. His headlights nearly blinded me, and all I could make out was his shadow moving closer still.
“Tess?”
“John?” I asked.
The silhouette came closer still. I looked up at his looming
shadow,
and his face came into view. We stood, rapt in each other’s gaze. I didn’t feel the rain anymore, nor did I shiver.
He threw his arms around me again and pulled me tight.