Authors: Kelly Clark
''Like what?''
''So cold.''
''What the fuck do you expect?''
Cara
was taken
aback. It had been months since they split. ''I think I'd better go,'' she said. ''You look tired. You ought to get some sleep.''
''What business is it of yours?''
''It's none of my business, none at all. But if you remember we did share some good
times,
and I'm not totally without feelings for you.''
Shifty looked at her. She was still as pretty as when they had a relationship, only now she looked more mature. A woman, less of a girl. ''I'm so worn out, you would not believe it,'' he said. ''I can't think straight.''
Cara saw how vulnerable he
was,
and it pained her. ''What's
really
the matter?''
''A lot of things. How much time have you got?''
''All day.''
''Okay. I'm sorry for the way I treated you. It was wrong. Like I said, I'm
very tired
. It's the constant grind. I'm never free. Not a single minute to myself.'' By the look of him, he hadn't been outside for days, Cara thought. ''The fans are great, it's the press and the managers.''
''I heard you shouting at the guy from Time.''
''Yes. That's what I mean. All I want to do is play music, but those
assholes
want to ask me about sex. Underage girls. Who the hell do they think I am?''
''You're right they are
assholes
. Anybody who knows you would never believe that crap.''
''But that doesn't matter. As soon as one of them writes about it, that's it. Everyone believes it.''
''Well I never would.''
''Ha,'' he said.
''What's that supposed to mean?''
''You didn't even believe I was going to New York on business. You
thought
I was going to screw some woman or other. Don't tell me you believe in me.''
''I've had therapy,'' she said calmly.
He raised his eyebrows and looked into her eyes. ''Have you?''
''Yes. To conquer my jealousy.''
''And has it been successful?''
Cara thought it had. But truthfully it hadn't been put to the test. ''I hope so.''
''So tell me about it. For example, why were you jealous during our relationship.''
''Fear of losing you. Loving someone so much I was terrified it would all end in disaster.''
''And it did.''
''Yes. But not because you left me, but because I was jealous.''
''So what did the quack tell you to do.''
''He gave me some exercises to improve my self-worth. He
told me
I had low self-esteem. In other words, I thought so
badly
of myself that I believed nobody would stay with me.''
''But why? You're fantastic. Look at you. You're beautiful,
intelligent,
you're making a name for yourself in your chosen profession.''
''I know that now, but I didn't know it
then
when it
really
mattered.''
''Yes. That's a pity isn't it?''
''Sure is.''
''Listen, Cara, I'm
sorry,
but I've got to go. I'm playing this evening. It's just a small concert for friends and family.''
''Sure. I'll get out of your hair.''
''My mom and dad are coming. Now I'm rich and famous everything's alright.''
''That's the way of the world I guess. Good for you for believing in yourself and pushing on despite the criticism.''
''Thanks for coming.'' He shook Cara's hand and turned away to look at the Ocean again.
When Cara reached her car, she sat in it and cried. What had they done to him? He was a broken man. All the enthusiasm for
life
he'd
had,
gone. He seemed like a hamster caught in an eternal wheel. The worst of it was she was now firmly out of the game. She had to admit to herself, that there had been a tiny piece of her that had thought they might hit it off again, and get back together. But he didn't even class her as a friend anymore. He'd talked about the concert for friends and hadn't thought to ask her. But why should he, she was just an old flame?
*****
''How was it?'' Ted asked the next morning.
''Terrible. I couldn't imagine it being any worse.''
He put a coffee down in front of her. ''Here, maybe this will help.''
''Thanks but nothing will help. I only hope he'll be okay. You know there's something not right about him. He's a changed man and he complained about being
very tired
.''
Cara spent the morning typing up the interview she'd had with Shifty. She made most of it up, making sure she was as kind as possible to him. She sent it to Josie and went for lunch.
''What the hell is this shit?'' Josie asked when Cara got back to the office.
''What?''
''Your article. It's as bland as Shifty himself.''
''What did you expect?''
''Some interesting information. Who's he screwing? Does he do drugs? What does he think of the rumors about him and underage girls? Interesting stuff. All you wrote about is his latest single, how he got started in the business and how tired he is. Cara, it's worthless crap that none of our readers will find in the slightest bit interesting.''
Cara looked at Ted who looked acutely embarrassed. ''Josie, did you have to talk to her like that in front of me?'' he asked. ''This should have been a private conversation.''
Cara smiled at Ted. She'd already made up her mind.
This wasn't
for her. There were better things in the world to write about than who was screwing who. ''Josie, you can take the job and put it where the sun doesn't shine. I quit.''
''Me too,'' Ted said.
''Ted you can't,'' Cara said.
''Oh yes I can. She's a bitch. Let's go and write for
a serious
organization.''
Ted and Cara sat in a cafe around the corner and reflected on what had just happened. “We're worth more than that,'' he said. ''There loads of job for
good
journalists. We'll soon find something else.''
*****
''Cara, it's Shifty.''
Cara almost dropped the phone. ''Hi.''
''You're a bitch. How could you do that to me? I was thinking of asking you on a date
again,
but you can rot in hell now.''
''Why? What have I done?''
''You know darn well. Goodbye, Cara. The next time you hear from me, it'll be from my lawyers.'' The line went dead.
Cara rushed to the local
newsstand
and picked up a copy of Revolver. When she opened it she gasped at the headline:
Debauchery at Shifty Parties: Sex,
drugs,
and underage girls.
''Josie, you bitch,'' she said. She tried to call Shifty back, but there was no answer.
She called Ted. ''What label is Shifty with?''
''Rainbow Wizard.''
''Do you know where their offices are?''
*****
The carpet in the reception area at Rainbow Wizzard made Cara feel nauseous. It was bright purple. The young lady behind the reception desk had asked her to wait until a senior manager was available. As she was waiting she saw a lot of people come and go,
trendy
music types. After a while, she noticed a group of girls congregating outside the office. After another twenty minutes, the whole street was full of screaming girls and young women. When the cops
arrived,
they got them into some
kind of
order. They put up barriers and made a pathway for vehicles
to drive
through.
''Who's coming?'' Cara asked the receptionist.
''Shifty's coming. He's signing a new record deal today. It's a
very important
day for him
and for
us. Lord knows how the fans found out, but in this day and
age,
nothing can be kept secret.''
Cara felt sick. She didn't want to see him. All she wanted to do was explain the situation to his manager. But it was too late. Shifty arrived in a huge limousine and, after signing a few
autographs,
bounced into reception. Between his bodyguards, he looked thin and even paler than the last time she'd seen him.
He saw her sitting in the corner. She looked
away,
but that didn't deter him. He walked up to her.
''Shifty, I don't want to talk about it.''
''I know. I'm sorry. I now know it wasn't you. You resigned didn't you?''
''Yes, but how do you know?''
''Some guy called Ted told me. He must have called me thirty times.
Eventually,
I was so fed up I answered.''
''Good old Ted,'' she said lowering her eyes to the floor.
She didn't notice him looking at her as longingly as he ever had. ''That jealousy thing. Shall we put it to the test?''
Cara looked up in surprise. ''What do you mean?''
''I want to go out with you, on a date. If you want to of course. Maybe we can try again?''
''Er........I don't........I wasn't expecting.........Yes, okay.''
*****
''He was a good shrink that guy,'' Shifty said as they lay in a hotel bed in Berlin. ''How long has it been now?''
''Two years.''
''Yer. And not a single sign of jealousy. Except on my part, when that guy was looking at your ass last night.''
''If I remember correctly the only person who saw my
ass
last night was you. And how. You got a good long view of it.''
''Yer, and it was great. Will you marry me, Cara? Enough of this clowning around, I want you to be my wife.''
Cara put her hand over her mouth and sat up in bed. ''Do you mean that? You're not just fooling around?''
''I mean it. All this success is great, but it's meaningless unless you're with me. Let's share it forever.''
''How long have you been planning to ask this question?''
''A couple of years, but you screwed up for a while. Then I doubted your journalistic integrity. But now all that's behind us.''
''Wow. I wasn't expecting that,'' Cara said.
''Will you give me an answer please?'' he said.
''I would have thought it was obvious.''
''No, not really.''
''Yes Shifty, I will be your wife.''
''And the mother of my children?''
''How may do you want?''
''Four.''
''Four? Then we'd better get on with it. Come her and let's make a start.''
''With pleasure Madam. Is there any particular way you would like me to begin?''
''How about I get on all fours. I like that best.''
''Me too.''
*****
THE END
''You're our little
sister, we
promised dad we'd look after you,'' Guthrie said. ''Why can't you stay here, where you're safe?''
Josie looked at her brother. He was six feet five and built like the end of a house. He was also way over
protective,
and she'd had enough of it. To make matters
worse,
she had another brother who was just as protective.
''Because I just graduated and got a job, and it's time to leave home and make my
own
life. I'm twenty-two now. I know you guys are just trying to look out for me, but it's overbearing sometimes, I need my
own
space.''
''If anyone messes with you, you know what we'll do don't you?'' he said.
''I've heard it a thousand times before. You'll kick his ass. But it's time you let me decide who
I want
to be with
. Not every guy is just trying to get into my panties.''
''That's
bullshit,
and you know it. If anyone touches you, like I said we'll kill them, no problem.''
''Okay, whatever,'' Josie said. ''I'm going now and don't try to stop me.'' She picked up her case and walked through the front door. The taxi driver opened the trunk and put her case inside. She took a long look at the house and felt pleased she was leaving. The last few years had been hell.
''Where to,
lady
?'' the driver asked.
''339 Gandy Street, please.''
As they were pulling out of the gravel driveway, Patrick was trying to turn into the same gap. He jumped out of his truck and ran to the taxi.
''Where the fuck are you going?'' he asked.
''I've given Guthrie all the details. I'm going to make a life for myself.''
''What do you mean? You're safe with us. Out in the world, there are a lot of bad guys looking for
a pretty
girl like
you.''
''Save it, Patrick. I've heard it a million times. Please let me go and find out things for myself. I can't live under your shadow forever. If you love
me,
you'll let me go.''
''But you're our little
sis
,
of course,
we feel protective toward you.''
''I
know,
and I appreciate it, but it's too much. I want my
own
life.''
''If anyone messes with you, we'll fucking kill them.''
''You sound just like Guthrie. Save it Patrick. I'm going.''
He pulled his hands from the taxi as it moved off. Josie looked back and saw Patrick standing next to his truck with his hands on his hips.
What the hell she'd done to deserve
brothers like
she had, she didn't know. Think future, she told herself. She'd just finished a book about the power of positive thinking, and she intended to apply what it had taught her in her new life.
''Josie, hi. Did you find it okay?'' Madge said.
''Yes. I
kind of
remembered the way, but the driver knew where he was.''
''It
's nice to
see you again, how have you been?''
''Okay, just eager to get away from the protection of my brothers. Thank so much for choosing me as your roommate. I know you had a lot of interest from other people. ''
''You were by far the nicest I
spoke to
. I think we'll get on well.''
''I'm sure we will.''
''We'll let's not stand out here any longer. I've got some coffee on the go.''
Josie followed her new room-mate into the apartment building and took the elevator to the sixth floor. The apartment was just as it had been when she'd answered the advert and come for a chat with Madge.
''So when do you
start
work?'' Madge asked.
''Tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous. Never in a million years did I think they'd chose me, but they did.''
''Why not? You graduated with top marks from Willaston, the top college for kindergarten teachers, and you've got a great personality.''
''Thanks, Madge, kind words like those go a long way.''
''Here drink this,'' Madge handed her
a coffee.
''How's life at the library?'' Josie asked.
''Same as ever, quiet,'' Madge joked.
They drank coffee, ate dinner, and Josie decided she should get an early night. She was sure it was going to be tough on the first day at her new job.
The next day she traveled to Lincoln Drive by
bus
and walked into the kindergarten she was to
work at
. She loved kids and had always wanted to work with them. She loved the fact they learned so fast, and she wanted to have a hand in their development.
When her day
finished,
Josie was
dead
beat. She took the bus back to her new apartment and slumped on her bed.
She
'd promised herself a treat when she got her first paycheck. She opened her laptop and looked at what was on in town in a couple of weeks.
''Can't be
true
,'' she said when she saw an ad for a concert with
Beezee
. She
read it
again. An intimate evening with America's greatest young singer-songwriter
Beezee
. ''Shit, it's true,'' she muttered. ''What the hell's he doing coming to this backwater?''
''Did you know
Beezee
is coming to town in a couple of weeks?'' Josie asked when Madge got in from the library.
''No way. It must be a mistake. A guy like him would never come to Little Hampton.''
''Well he is coming. He's playing an intimate concert at City Hall. Just him, not the band.''
''Have you tried to get tickets?''
''Yes. Guess what?''
''Sold out?''
''You guessed it,'' Josie said.
''If you
really
want to go, why don't you hang around and see if someone wants to sell a spare ticket or if someone doesn't turn up.''
''I might just do that. It's not
everyday
you get a chance to see a world star in a sleepy place like this.''
*****
There was a line right around City Hall when Josie arrived. She'd made a sign asking if anyone had a spare ticket. By the time she got to the back of the line, nobody had approached her. An hour later the line had filed into the
hall,
and Josie was left standing alone outside.
''You okay?'' the doorman asked.
''Yes. I was hoping someone hadn't turned
up,
or there was a spare ticket somewhere.''
''Do you want me to go and see if there's an empty
seat anywhere
?'' he asked. He was charmed by her exceptional looks and wanted to help.
''Would you?
Oh, if you could, I'd be so grateful,'' she said.
Ten minutes later he arrived back at the door. ''Come on, there are two seats right at the front. I guess the ticket holders haven't come. But hurry he's just about to come on stage.''
Josie followed him into the hall. There were about three hundred people there. The doorman stopped and pointed to the seats. Josie went forward just as
Beezee
came on stage. People stood up and
cheered,
and Josie fell flat on her face having tripped over someone's feet.
She picked herself up and sat down,
red-faced
. She'd only ever seen
Beezee
on TV. He was the handsome lead singer of a band called City Stingers, the number one pop band at that time. Beezee composed all the songs himself. Most of them
were about lost,
love.
In person, he was even more handsome than on TV. She hadn't realized how tall he was. He didn't have the rough appearance of a rock
star; he
looked more like a movie star. He was well dressed
in white
shirt and jeans. He
was shaven,
and his blonde hair
was cut
nicely. The only thing that was the least bit rock star about
him
was a tattoo on his arm. She couldn't quite see what it was.
As he made his way through the first
song,
she saw him look at her. Then again. The frequency with which he looked at her became greater and greater until it seemed as if he was only singing to her. Her cheeks began to burn with embarrassment, but deep down, somewhere in her underbelly, she was
beginning
to feel her desire flow.
After a while, the people sitting next to Josie
began
to look at her. Now his gaze was fixed almost permanently on her, and people were
beginning
to notice. Perhaps they thought she was his girlfriend, she thought.
When the interval came, Josie went to the ladies room and splashed water on her face.
''I don't know why he's only looking at you. We all bought tickets,'' a fat woman said.
'' I have no idea. I don't know him personally. It's not my fault.''
''You keep smiling at him. You're encouraging
him; I
've been watching you.''
''
Listen
, if you don't shut the fuck up, I'll smash your teeth to the back of your head,'' Josie said, fed up with the woman's ridiculous comments.
''Okay. Okay. I'm going,'' she said.
When Josie came out of the ladies room, she went back to her seat. The woman next to her was kinder than the fat woman had been.
''I think he's attracted to you. He keeps staring at you, have you noticed?''
''Yes. I have. It's a bit embarrassing.''
''Why worry? He may even ask you backstage later.''
The thought hadn't occurred to Josie. She thought he was just looking at her, the way a man looked at a woman he liked,
but perhaps
he would ask her backstage.
In the second half, he was still looking at her. Now she was used to
it,
and she loved it.
He left the stage and began to walk past the first row, all the time singing a song about a woman in love. When he stopped by her and offered his hand to her, her heart leaped to her mouth. He knelt, looked into her eyes and sang the rest of the song as if she were the woman he was
singing about
.
When he went back to the stage, she noticed how aroused he'd made her. If
for some reason
he was attracted to her and wanted to fuck her. She was ready and willing.
When the concert ended, she stayed in her seat until everyone had gone. ''Come on miss,'' the
kindly
doorman said. ''I'm afraid the show's over.''
''Reluctantly she got up and began to walk toward the door.''
''Hey wait,'' a man shouted.
When she turned
around,
she saw it was
Beezee
. I'm
really
glad you waited. Will you come backstage and have a drink with me?'' he asked.
''Now there's an invitation you shouldn't refuse,'' the doorman said.
''Yes. I'd like that,'' she said.
''Come on then.'' They walked
over
the stage and into a bleak corridor that led to a dressing room full of people. ''Did you enjoy the concert?'' he asked.
''I loved it. But you embarrassed me a bit.''
''Why?'' he asked.
''You were looking at me a lot, and then you came and sang to me.''
''Sorry. It's just that you
're pretty hot
.''
''Thanks.''
''Here, have a glass of champagne.''
Josie wondered if she was to be one of his conquests. She wondered how many women he'd had. Maybe he took a woman from the audience every time. Did it
really
matter, she asked herself? Not really, she concluded. Where was an ordinary girl like her going to get a man like him, even if it was just for one
night?
Might as well taste a bit of the high life, she decided.
''You're fascinating,'' he said. ''Where are you from.''
''From a farm outside Little Hampton.''
''A farmers daughter. You know what they say about that don't you?''
''I can guess. Probably the same thing they say about pop stars,'' she countered.