Authors: C.J. Ayers
Tanner shut the bedroom door quietly behind him. Heather had turned on the bedside lamp, casting a warm glow over the bedroom. She stood waiting by the side of the bed, watching him as he approached.
Her face glowed in the half-light, and it lit up her hair so the strands appeared hazy and soft, with tinges of red running through it. Tanner’s erection felt like it was pulsing, on and off all day; his blood had been continually rushing downward without offering it any kind of release. Being around Heather was a continual interplay of pleasure and pain, as he fought his instincts in order to behave like a gentleman. Finally, he didn’t have to hold back any longer, and he walked toward her.
Heather lifted her head slightly, expecting a kiss. Instead, Tanner reached out and gently tugged down part of her wrap-around top, exposing her bra cup and the plump creamy breast spilling out of it. He ran a finger slowly over her cleavage before pulling the bra cup away. He leaned down, placing his lips on her breast and gently sucked her nipple whilst flicking its tip with his tongue. Heather gasped, the slow sucking motion made her breasts feel achingly heavy and full. He repeated the action, moving over to the other breast, and Heather felt shivers run down her sides.
She reached out and ran her fingers through Tanner’s hair, recalling as she did so the thick, luxurious hair of his bear. Tanner groaned softly, and moved his mouth upward to take hers in a deep kiss. She could feel his erection pushing against her thigh, and in response her panties grew damp in wanting.
Tanner cupped her breasts in his hands, gently pushing them upward and teasing her nipples with his thumb.
“These are beautiful. Fuck, Heather – I can’t tell you how much I’ve wanted to do this.” His voice was raspy and low, and faint, short breaths escaped his mouth. He broke away and roughly removed her top, expertly unclasping her bra so that it fell away to the floor. He moved back to kiss her, and Heather’s nipples hardened as they gently grazed his bare chest. His fingers reached up and ran through her hair, massaging the top of her neck as he did so, sending a torrent of pleasure cascading down Heather’s back.
Gently Tanner moved Heather backward onto his bed. He guided her downward so she was lying on her back, and kissed her from the collarbone down to her stomach. Undoing the button and zipper of her pants, he continued to kiss down her lower abdomen, stopping at the top of her underwear. Tanner ran his lips softly along the lace lining, and then pulled away to remove her clothing, only leaving her underwear still in place.
Tanner marveled at the beautiful woman reclining on his bed. Heather’s full breasts with their hardened nipples begged to be caressed, and he longed to push his throbbing erection against the soft, rosy flesh. Without clothes on he could finally see her magnificent curves, in the warm light she looked like a Botticelli angel – voluptuous and welcoming.
With a groan, Tanner leant forward on the bed and gently spread her legs apart, exposing the dampness of her panties. Embarrassed, Heather tried to reach down and cover it with her hands, but Tanner firmly grasped her hands, holding them over her head. He saw the blush on her cheeks intensify.
“Heather,” he said gently, “look how much I want you, don’t hide from me.” Heather eyes were drawn to the obvious bulge pushing against his jeans, and his lightly trembling torso. She felt her body respond, her own desire rippling through her at witnessing his.
He placed one of his hands between her legs, gently caressing the damp lips of her sex through the lace underwear. He felt the wetness grow and smiled to himself, ever so slightly intensifying the pressure of his movements. Heather’s eyelids were half closed in pleasure, and Tanner could see her chest rapidly rise and fall in response to his touch.
Tanner gently pulled the lining of her underwear to the side, exposing her to the cool air of the room. With one finger he traced the outline of the delicate layers within her, watching them swell and moisten at his touch. When he felt that she was ready, he slipped his finger into her entrance, massaging the more sensitive skin within. Finding her hardening bud, he proceeded to stroke it, feeling wetness gush from within her, dampening the bed sheets beneath them.
“You’re so wet Heather. Look at how much you want me.” Tanner rasped, trying to control the movements of his finger to keep his touch light. Heather almost whimpered in return, and he could see her thighs clench in response to her pleasure.
The restriction of Tanner’s jeans was now agony, he leaned backward to undo his button, and felt Heather’s hands cover his.
“Let me.” She looked up at him, to check that he would allow her to progress, and he melted at the open and innocent gaze that met his. He nodded briefly, words dying on his lips as with trembling fingers she slowly released his zipper and gasped as his boxer-clad, heavy erection was exposed.
She took it in her hands, gently rubbing the material of the cotton. Heather greedily eyed his size and thickness, feeling a desperate ache within her core as she anticipated him entering her. She moved her hands to the waistband of his jeans and pulled them down his muscular thighs. Tanner stood up, and let the jeans fall to the floor. Heather stayed seated on the bed, drinking in his toned, broad body.
Tanner removed his boxers, and stood naked before her. The tip of his shaft glistened with a bead of moisture, ready for her. Heather leaned backward, expecting him to climb on top of her. Instead, Tanner approached the bed and gently turned her over. He pulled down her underwear, gently stroking the plump cheeks of her backside as he did so. Once they were removed, Heather felt his erection resting against the opening between her legs. She trembled in response, opening her legs a little wider to allow him access.
Tanner groaned, gently grabbing the flesh on the back of her thighs and guiding himself to the swollen lips of her sex. With incredible gentleness he rubbed back and forth against her, enjoying the wetness sliding up and down his length. He’d never known a woman to be so ready and willing, as if her entire being was built for his pleasure. Heather cried out, she couldn’t contain the unrelenting shocks of pleasure running through her body.
Tanner flipped her around, more aggressively this time, and pushed her further up along the bed. He buried his head between her legs, parting her lips gently with his fingers and lapped up the warm wetness within. The stokes of his tongue drove Heather to near oblivion, she spread her legs wider and pressed herself against him, driving his tongue further inside her.
Tanner flicked his tongue against her bud, and Heather could feel the waves of an orgasm building within her.
“Please…Tanner – I need you inside me. Please.” Heather gasped, trying to fight the tides of pleasure as she felt herself tipping over.
Tanner didn’t need more encouragement. He guided his ready shaft into Heather’s core, sucking in a short breath as he felt swollen, soft flesh surround him, pulling him in tighter, clenching at his erection.
Heather called out his name as the pinnacle of her pleasure crashed and reverberated around her body. She clung to him, not wanting his motion to stop – she’d never felt so full and greedy as this, feeling complete yet yearning for more. Tanner leaned over her, balancing his frame on his elbows and forearms. His chest and shoulder muscles twitched with the effort of restraining himself.
Heather looked up into his eyes, seeing dark pools of lust meeting hers. She moved her head up and kissed him, deeply; trying to convey the myriad of emotions that were raging within her.
Tanner felt himself lose control as her lips met his. Deep within him he felt the familiar tug, centered within his lower abdomen as his primal urges struggled to be released. Tanner tried to regulate his breathing, slowing down the motion of movement within Heather’s body, but it was too late. Heather arched against him, moaning in pleasure, clenching him tighter within her.
“Heather,” he gasped.
She reached up and stroked his jaw with her fingers, her eyes looking deep into his, “let it come, Tanner.” The words were hoarsely and breathlessly whispered into his ear, but he felt them deep in his soul. He stopped struggling against the feeling and let his urges flow unchecked.
His desire increased, not just physical desire, but one that was driven by heart and mind. It overtook all bodily sensation apart from Heather and the way her hips were moving against him.
His hands clenched at the bed fabric, as he felt his entire body spasm. “Heather,” he half-growled her name as he released himself within her.
Sated, Tanner’s head dropped into Heather’s soft breasts. He was still inside her; despite finding release he found that he was still hard. His body couldn’t get enough of her.
Heather closed her arms around him, curling her body into his. They slept like that, entwined on the cotton sheets, till morning came.
“Watch this one, Heather!” Chloe was on the back of a pony, practicing jumps with the help of Josiah. She leapt cleanly over the wooden jump bar, and the horse landed neatly on the other side, before cantering around the yard to complete the jump a second time. Heather applauded enthusiastically from beneath the shade of the ranch out building.
Tanner was standing a few yards off, tirelessly removing rocks from the earth; his aim was to create a soft, fertile area in which Heather could have her own herb or vegetable garden. He’d kept his plan private, telling them all that he was extending the chicken run, but the conspiratorial wink Josiah gave him told Tanner the old man knew differently.
That morning Heather had set up a make shift easel and bought out some paints, intending to capture the beautiful Wyoming scenery. She had started to do just that, but the moment Tanner had begun work she’d been unable to take her eyes of him, and so the page now captured his muscular form, shirtless in the heat.
She watched as his back and biceps rippled as he moved, lugging rocks back and forth over the soft earth. As she watched, she noticed that when his body stood under direct sunlight, she could see faint markings all over his chest and back. It looked like long strips of his flesh had been carved out of him, and Heather wondered if, when in bear form, he fought with other beasts in the forest. The thought made Heather shudder; she hated the idea of Tanner fighting alone in the wilderness, unable to protect himself with human tools.
Heather caught Tanner’s eye, and gestured toward the pitcher of ice tea sat on the table next to her. She rose to carry it over to him, but instead he made his way toward her, wiping away his sweat with a spare rag as he did so.
“You are a good woman, Heather Ayer. My mouth feels like the desert.” Tanner came and sat down next to her, emitting a sigh of relief as he did so. Heather poured him the tea.
“What are you – oh, that’s me.” Tanner’s eyes had alighted on her half-finished drawing, and raised his eyebrows in respectful acknowledgement at how good it was, “you’ve got a talent. That’s impressive.”
Heather blushed, “It’s not finished yet. You got in the way of the mountains.” Tanner gave a short bark of laughter, “yeah, sorry about that.” They smiled at each other, and then Heather’s eyes drew back to his chest. The scars weren’t as noticeable in the shade, but she could still see very subtle outlines of their grooves marking his skin.
“Tanner, what are those marks on your body? They look pretty ferocious…I thought maybe a wild animal had hurt you?” Heather was tentative approaching the subject; she didn’t want him to think she was prying.
Tanner smirked; it was not a happy look. His bright mood seemed to have immediately vanished. There was silence for a few moments before he spoke, “not an animal exactly.” Tanner took a gulp of the ice tea and then rand his hands through his hair. “I guess there’s a couple of things I still need to tell you.”
“Not if you don’t want to, Tanner. You can keep whatever you want private.” Heather replied, meaning it. She didn’t want to pry into his life, he knew without a doubt that Tanner was a good, honest man – and whatever he wanted to keep private he could do so. She trusted him.
“No, there’s stuff you should know. It’s about Chloe, too. But I guess I’ll start with the scars. As I said yesterday, my father died when I was young, he was like me and my brother – a shifter. He was crazy in love with my mom, and she with him. She never really recovered from his death.”
Heather nodded in understanding, a loss of a loved one was always painful, but if his father had been anything like Tanner, it would have been unbearable.
“I don’t remember much of him. Which is a shame, but just the way it is. Anyway, my mom married again – not so well this time. He was a nasty junkie, beat her up something rotten. When he found out what me and my brother were, well, he didn’t like it. He would lock us up in cages. Whip us with chains and whatever was lying around. Starve us.” Tanner shrugged, “like I said, a mean bastard.”
Heather looked away. Her vision had started to blur as tears welled up in the corners of her eyes, but she didn’t want Tanner to see her crying. Where would be the benefit in her tears? There weren’t tears enough in her body for the sorrow of a child being treated that way.
Tanner hadn’t noticed that she’d turned away. He wasn’t able to look at her. Still, after all these years, the subject of his stepfather bought up nothing but shame. Shame that he had never been able to protect his brother, that he couldn’t save his mom from her eventual fate and her bad choices. Ashamed that he let himself be treated that way, ashamed that he’d spent the whole of his life believing he’d deserved every whip, every slice of flesh ripped from his body, every hour that he spent in starvation, closing his eyes as he drank stagnant water left for them in a dog bowl.
“Anyway, my mom couldn’t cope. She got hooked on heroin. Didn’t know whether she was coming or going. My brother and I ran away. I was sixteen - he was fourteen. I worked down in Arizona. Mining. It was good, better than we had it at home. After a year we found out that she’d died. We went back briefly to pay our respects, but then we never went back again.”
Heather couldn’t find the words to express herself. The tears were streaming down her face now, and she kept her eyes fixed on her hands, clasped together tightly on her lap. She couldn’t take the thought of Tanner going through so much pain. How lonely he must have been, how neglected. She knew about men who worked as miners. It wasn’t an easy life. Not by a long shot.
Tanner glanced over at her, half dreading Heather’s response. Seeing his bear was one thing, knowing how he’d let himself be so dehumanized was another. On seeing her tears, he rushed to comfort her.
“Shit – Heather, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for you to get upset.” He placed his hand on her back, finding a comfort in her warm sun-heated skin.
“You’re sorry?!” Heather was half-hysterical at his apology, “what have you to be sorry about? Oh God, Tanner – what happened to you is awful, it’s appalling. I want to rip that man apart with my bare hands. But it’s me who should be sorry, I don’t mean to cry, I’m sorry I am, it’s just…” She couldn’t finish. A fresh set of tears erupted from her, and she hastily wiped at her cheeks. Aware that Chloe wasn’t far away, and she didn’t want her to see her like this.
“You’re amazing.” Tanner’s voice was horse with unshed emotion. He hadn’t expected this kind of reaction, hadn’t expected her to care so deeply about him – he should have known better. He desperately wanted to drag her into his arms, take her upstairs and make love to her again. She was unbelievably beautiful to him in that moment, her eyes red-rimmed from crying, her rose bud lips swollen from bites as she anxiously tried to repress her emotions.
Tanner steeled himself; he needed to tell her about Chloe as well. It was important that she knew everything, but the worst of it was done.
“Are you okay to talk about Chloe?” Tanner asked, gently caressing her back.
“Of course,” Heather tried to smile, “just ignore the crazy weeping woman over here.”
“You’re not crazy – Heather, I can’t tell you what it means to me that you’d have that kind of reaction. I really appreciate it. More than I can say.”
Heather nodded, trying to shake off the tears and return to normality. “Go on, about Chloe – what is it you need to tell me?”
“Chloe isn’t mine – biologically speaking.” Heather raised her eyebrows at Tanner’s words. It was the last thing she’d expected him to say.
“Chloe’s mom and I, well… it was brief, let’s just say. When she turned up pregnant, I was just getting the ranch up and running, and was kind of resentful to her.” Tanner looked down again, he knew it wasn’t his finest hour. But he took a breath and continued, “She was in delicate health, and when she gave birth to Chloe, she died, as you know. I knew Chloe wasn’t mine from the start – I can’t have children. I’m infertile. Just the way it goes. I needed you to know that.”
Heather looked over at Chloe, now brushing down her horse, guided by Josiah. She felt sorry for the girl who had grown up without a mother, so like herself. She also knew absolutely that Tanner had raised her loving her as much or more than any biological father could. She also knew, without a doubt in her mind that she was absolutely, unconditionally in love with him.
“I can’t have children, either.” She smiled at him, and took his hand in hers. “But Chloe has bought so much love into my life – she’s all I would ever need or want.”
Tanner exhaled in relief. Her small hand over his made him smile; Chloe may have brought love to her life, but she had brought it to both of theirs. “I wanted you to know, also, that once a bear mates, they mate for life. They can have companions that they treasure if something separates them from their mate, but it’s never the same. The bonding between a shifter and his true mate, it’s one that’s eternal.”
Heather nodded and tried to smile. She suddenly felt cold. She understood completely, and a few days ago being Tanner’s companion would have made her content and happy. Now, she wasn’t sure. It almost seemed like a gentler and kinder parallel to her and Bertram – a man who just couldn’t truly love her. But this would be worse, because what she felt for Tanner made her old feelings for Bertram pale to insignificance in comparison.
It was as if the universe had played a cruel trick on her; gifting Heather the one man she could be herself with and love completely, but then having that man forever bonded with a ghost, unable to love her the way she needed.
Tanner rose from his chair. He hated how awkward he could be with words, what had meant to sound romantic had probably come out too cheesy and ridiculous. The smile she’d given him in return hadn’t quite reached her eyes. Though, Tanner reflected, he had just dumped a lot of information on her. Maybe she just needed some time. It wouldn’t put a halt on his afternoon plans, whatever she felt; he knew he was doing the right thing.
“Chloe and I need to go into town this afternoon. Just for a couple of hours. Can I get you anything when I’m there?” Tanner asked her.
Heather tried to pull herself out of her mood, and smiled brightly back at him. Shaking her head in a ‘no’, not trusting herself to speak. She watched as he walked toward the main body of the ranch, and felt a knot of misery form in her stomach.