Authors: C.J. Ayers
Seeing the van parked outside the shop, Amber passed through the main building in search of Iris. She was in what she called her “happy place” – baking in the kitchen to her favorite Irish folk music on the stereo.
“Perfect!” Amber cried, “You can advise me!”
With her blonde hair pulled back into a French braid, Iris’s green eyes appeared even larger than usual. They turned to Amber.
“Oh, good! I’d love to, dear. About what?” She pivoted in time to the music and walked over, mixing bowl in hand, continuing a steady stirring rhythm.
“All the foodstuffs we got for the apartment. What can I cook for a dinner tonight?” Amber hitched herself onto one of the barstools and waited for wisdom.
Iris looked at her quizzically. “Anything you want to cook for a dinner, I suppose. Why?”
“No, I mean. I’m not entirely sure what I have, and I certainly don’t have the expertise to just whip something up creatively. Will you help me with a menu for tonight? One that’s easy for me to follow? I’m cooking dinner for Ryder, and I’d like it to be nice. Well, nice-ish, my kitchen skills are just above rudimentary, which you know.”
Iris smiled. “Nice-ish. I think we can handle that. So, simple but elegant? Something you and Ryder might enjoy? Handy thing that I decided to bake today. When this is done, I’ll bring it up to the apartment. Let’s see. How about roast sirloin, potatoes, green beans, and salad? It’ll look elegant on the plate, but each thing is simple to make. I have recipes that are easy to follow. And I know Ryder is a meat-and-veggie man.”
Amber sighed in relief. She knew she’d come to the right place for advice.
As she was putting the finishing touches on her table setting for two, a knock sounded at the door. Amber thought to herself, well, the man is better than punctual, he’s early.
She walked over to the door, giving her clothes a quick twitch to make sure they were in place, and the apartment a quick scan for anything out of place. Everything was as good as she could make it.
Ryder filled the doorway and then her senses. From behind his back he pulled a bouquet of mixed flowers, all in bright colors. She smiled and buried her nose into them, and promptly sneezed. Ryder’s laugh had her rolling her eyes at her own silliness, but she welcomed him in.
“Smells wonderful, Amber. Where’d you learn to cook?”
Pretending offense, Amber scowled, “Are you saying I didn’t know how to cook before? Are you saying I was a bad cook?”
“You were nineteen when you left. You’d fixed me maybe a dozen meals. Everyone of them barely edible. Since you’re still alive, I figure you have to have learned a thing or two, and since nothing smells burnt at the moment, I rest my case.” Ryder swiped Amber into his arms and pulled her into his embrace. He leaned down and, when they were nose-to-nose, whispered, “I’ve thought of you all day. I’ve missed you all day.” Gently, he kissed her lips and pulled back.
Dazed even by the gentleness of the kiss, Amber stood for a second after he let go and then shook out of her trance. She walked back to the kitchen wall and got out a container for the flowers. She checked the clock and the instructions Iris had left for her. The salad she had premade. The potatoes had also been easy to cut and bake along with the roast beef. The green beans were now in a large skillet on top of the stove. Iris had told her to start them after the roast showed as cooked and she and Ryder started to eat the salad. Amber opened the oven and placed the meat thermometer just like Iris had showed her (and how she had practiced several times while the roast was cooking); it showed 145 degrees exactly! With a large grin, Amber got the potholders and pulled out the roast. She moved the potatoes to the top rack of the oven for their last few minutes, and turned on the green beans. She turned to face Ryder.
“Shall we have salad?” she asked in her most casual voice.
Ryder was impressed. He knew how difficult it was to get everything done at the same time. “Yes, ma’am. Let’s.” He walked over to the table and held out Amber’s seat.
Amber made a big production of scooping salad onto Ryder’s bowl. She poured them each a glass of wine, and then settled into her seat.
Ryder was staring at her.
“What?” She asked, suddenly panicked that she had spilled on her shirt, or a button was undone.
“You’re beautiful.”
Amber shot him a skeptical look. “Quit that.”
“I can’t quit the truth. You are beautiful.”
“I’m pudgy. At least three sizes too big for beautiful.” She stabbed at the lettuce and peppers on her plate.
“You need to quit listening to magazines and movie stars. Listen to the man in front of you. You, Amber Cherie Flynn, are beautiful. I’m looking at you; I know.”
Amber froze. Her fork was in mid-stab. She turned her head slowly to look directly at Ryder. Sure enough, he hadn’t touched his food. He was just looking at her. She swallowed nervously and set down her fork.
“Look, Ryder. I just don’t know about this,” she began.
“Amber, don’t. Don’t make excuses. Why can’t you accept that to me you are perfection? I love your hair, your eyes, your body, your smile, your laugh, and that little crease you get right there between your eyebrows when you’re perplexed.”
Immediately, Amber’s hand flew to her forehead to rub that crease away. Ryder laughed.
“And I love your reactions to me. I hate that you left so unexpectedly eight years ago. I hate that I didn’t know where you were. I hate that we lost time together.” Tears welled up in Amber’s eyes. “But I love you. I’ve always loved you. I won’t let you go again. If you leave, I’ll follow. If you go somewhere, I’ll go with you. But what I want is for you to stay. Stay with me. Let me love you.” Ryder reached out and wiped her spilling tears from her cheeks. He tilted her face up and brought his down to meet hers. Sweetly, softly he kissed her. They could both taste the salt of her tears on her lips. Suddenly, he stopped.
“What’s that smell?”
Amber sniffed, and scrambled for the stove. She turned off the heat under the green beans and to the oven. When she lifted the lid off the pan, black smoke poured out. “Oh, no! It was going so perfectly!” Amber wailed.
The shriek of the fire-detector startled them both. Amber put the lid back down on the pan and picked up the whole mess. Over the noise of the alarm, she called to Ryder, “Would you take the potatoes out, please? I hope they aren’t burned to a crisp as well.” She rushed to the door, intending to take the smoking mess out to the trashcans. At the door, she met her sister charging in.
“What’s on fire?” Jade, wild-eyed, asked. “Are you okay? What’s burning?”
“I’m okay. It’s just the beans.” Amber pushed past her sisters, mortified that they’d come to her rescue, and continued outside.
“Hello, cousin dear,” Iris greeted Ryder. “How was supper going?”
Ryder pulled the potatoes from the oven. They looked a bit crisp, but edible and still smelled great. “Well, I think, Iris. I distracted her; she had everything well in hand.”
“Distracted her, huh?” Iris began rubbing Jade’s back in small slow circles. Jade was trembling; the thought of her baby sister in a fire had sent her into a panic she’d never experienced before. Iris spoke in low and soothing tones, but didn’t address the obvious just yet. “I wonder how.”
“Not the way you’re thinking. I told her she was beautiful.” Ryder set down the oven mitt and leaned back against the kitchen counter. He crossed his arms across his broad chest.
Iris’s eyes softened and melted just a bit. “Did you hear that, Jade love? He distracted her by telling her she’s beautiful.”
Jade struggled to pull herself to calm, “She’s always been beautiful.”
“Yes, love, we know this, but she hasn’t always thought so. Ryder, would you make my mate here a glass of water? I think she needs it.” Iris used her rubbing hand to push Jade over to the table where she collapsed into a chair. Her eyes were still wide and wild.
Ryder raised an eyebrow at Iris and tilted his head in question. She shook her head slightly in reply and they both turned at the sound of the door.
Amber clumped back into the apartment with the now empty pan. Her grumbles weren’t loud enough for anyone but Ryder to decipher. His grin suggested that her curses were highly inventive. Disgruntled at the way her supper had turned out, she snapped at the three faces staring at her.
“What?”
Iris and Ryder both shook their heads silently. Jade, however, chose that moment to burst into tears.
“Oh, no.” Amber hurried across the intervening space and set her burdens on the table. “I’m sorry I snapped at you. It was rude of me. You’ve been nothing but welcoming, and I’m a bitch. I’m so sorry.”
“No no no.” Jade waved away Amber’s apologies. “Not the snappy. Just so glad you’re okay. “She threw her arms around Amber’s neck and squeezed tight.
Amber was completely confused. She patted Jade’s back and looked over at Iris. “I don’t understand. I just ruined a dinner. Of course I’m okay. Just a bruised ego.”
“No, dear.” Understanding had dawned for Iris. “For insurance purposes, the fire detector in here is wired into the house’s alarm system. When it goes off, we know it. The alarm in the house sounded, and Jade panicked. She thought the apartment was on fire, and you were inside.”
Amber was getting really tired of crying. This time her tears were for her sister. “I’m okay, Jade. I’m okay. No fire. See? No fire.”
Jade’s only reply was to squeeze harder. “You left right after the fire and the funerals. You were gone for so long. Then you came back to me. The thought of losing you to a fire just…”
“I would’ve done the same, Jade. I would’ve done the same.” The two ladies sat and held each other for a few minutes.
Iris walked over to where her cousin leaned against the counter. She joined him there and, as they watched their loves, tilted her head onto his shoulder.
“Amber, why did you leave me? Why? I lost my whole family in less than two weeks.” Jade wept.
Amber struggled for a moment and finally shared her secret. “It was my fault. I had to leave.” Guilt washed over her for all the pain she had caused: their parents’ deaths, deserting Jade, leaving Ryder and Rachel. Her tears flowed freely. “All my fault. I couldn’t face anyone knowing that.”
Jade sat back a bit and wiped at her face. “What are you talking about
your fault
?”
Words were difficult to push through Amber’s tears. “The fire. Momma and Dad. My fault.”
Iris and Ryder perked up their ears; this was new information for sure.
“No,” Jade said. “You can’t blame yourself.”
“Yes. Yes, I can. I did it. I had candles lit all over my room.” Finally confessing and purging this heaviness on her soul had Amber’s words tumbling over one another to get out. “I had played romantic music to get into the mood for my date with Ryder, and I lit some candles. I must’ve been in too much of a hurry to get out of the house to blow them out before I left. They burned down the house with Momma and Dad in it.” Amber’s sobs grew harder. “I burned down the house with Momma and Dad in it. I killed them.”
“No, Amber.” Jade’s tears had stopped. She was back to being the calm big sister.
“That’s why I can’t take the insurance money. It’s blood money. It’s not mine. I can’t. I can’t…” She continued to cry.
“Oh, Amber. No, baby.” Jade smoothed Amber’s hair away from her face and forced her face up to look directly into her eyes. “No, baby. That’s not how the fire started. We have the Fire Marshall’s final report. That old furnace that Dad had ordered replaced? It developed a short, and a spark started the fire. It was the first cold snap of the year, remember? The heater kicked in, and it was too much for that furnace. Complete opposite end of the house from your room, but too close to Momma and Dad’s.” She wrapped her arms back around her sister. “I’m so glad you stayed at Ryder’s that night. So very glad.”
Iris reached up and brushed at a tear that had escaped from her eye. Ryder’s eyes shone as well at the emotion there in front of him. So much time lost because she’d blamed herself and run away; he shrugged away all the hurt he’d felt at her leaving. She’d punished herself more than enough. It was time now for healing. He vowed that there would be no more lost time between him and Amber.
After Iris had managed to salvage dinner that had been crisp and cold, Jade and Iris left Amber and Ryder to savor their “getting re-acquainted time” as Iris called it.
Something had been nagging at Amber all day, and with the confessions and all the emotions of the evening, she decided that now was the time to lay all the cards out on the table. She’d bared hers, now it was Ryder’s turn. They were seated together on the couch, Amber snugged up against Ryder’s chest listening to his steady heartbeat. Her face was still a bit puffy from the amount of crying she’d done, but some cold water had helped that.
“Ryder, I need to know something and I need for you to be completely honest with me.” She pulled away slightly and looked up into his face. He raised his eyebrows quizzically, but was clearly unprepared for her one-word question.