Authors: Raven Monet
Chapter Four
“I don’t know why you can’t just find a nice woman and settle down, that’s all I’m saying.” My mother looked down her nose as she stirred the batter for a cake that she was making for one of her church groups. With a sigh and forced smile, I patted her back and kissed her cheek,
“There’s not a woman alive who can keep me on my toes as well as you, mother.” She liked to hear things like that, ensuring that she was the only woman in my life until I found the elusive “One” and until said woman enters my life, the only female in my life was my dear mother. It had to be this way or else she’d feel abandoned and neglected by her firstborn, a guilt trip that she held over my head on a regular basis. Sometimes, I felt as if the only reason she had other children after me was just so that she would have someone to compare me to, with her constant praise and pride shoved in everyone’s face. I knew that the reason my brother disappeared into his own world was because he felt as if he’d never even been seen by my parents and that all their attention had been reserved for me. The more he acted out, the more they pushed him away when all he wanted was for them to reach out to him and let him know that they loved him. He’d once told me,
“I’m not you, Chad. I can’t throw a football, I’m not into sports, I can’t flash my fucking pearly whites and get mom and dad to just forget everything wrong I’ve ever done. It’s like you’re this perfect son and I’m the leftovers that got left behind in the womb.”
He was reaching out to me but I was too busy protecting my parents, telling him that he was overreacting and imagining everything. I knew that he wasn’t making up the fact that my parents treated him as if he were the child they never meant to have, which may have actually been the case now that I was an adult looking back on my childhood. Ben never complained to the folks as a child, for he rather enjoyed being the invisible offspring because it allowed him to do the things he wanted and he was usually found in the backyard in a tree or in the woods near the back of the property. He’d taken to being alone since he was young and I had never really gotten used to it until recently when I discovered that I couldn’t be intimate in the way I needed to be with women and I couldn’t enjoy the private company of a man without fear of my secret being uncovered.
“Have you heard from Ben lately?” I asked my mother but she only rolled her eyes and waved off my question with a flick of her hand as she replied,
“That boy is going to be the death of me. Of course, I’ve heard from him, he’s in trouble again and needed help but I’m simply all out of favors for that child.” My brother was usually in some form of conflict, so I didn’t even bother to ask what he’d gotten himself into. Watching my mother tool around her kitchen brought back many childhood memories that were actually pleasant, for I could almost smell the baking of cookies that she would prepare when we were young.
I often wished that my childhood hadn’t blessed me with agility and athleticism, rather the artistic and musical talents that my sister had gained from my mother. She could draw anything in her imagination and learned to play the flute at the age of eight but all I was good at was running fast and throwing hard. It seems a bit ironic to bless me with the body to attract any woman I wanted with only the desire to tell her that her top doesn’t match her shoes and her brother is more my style. Oh, the twisted world in which we live and the amazing sense of humor that resided in its creator.
“You remember the Taylor’s next door, don’t you?” I nodded my head as I popped a pretzel into my mouth and closed my teeth down on the salty treat. “Well, their daughter Alice came home last weekend and completely destroyed them. I don’t know what’s gotten into people these days, Chad, I mean it.” Shaking her head, my mother frowned as she placed her hands on the counter across the bar from where I sat on a swiveling stool.
“What’s happened, mother? I hope everything is alright.” My mother looked into my eyes as she whispered,
“She’s a lesbian.” Looking around the kitchen as if someone may hear her, she returned her gaze to meet my eyes as she continued. “Can you believe that? Alice! You took her to the prom senior year, for crying out loud. I wonder what kind of trouble she’s gotten herself into that a decent man won’t even have her. I’m telling you, Chad, I’m so glad you came out normal.” The smile on her face broke my heart as I forced a look of an agreeable nature to my lips.
“You just never know about some people, I suppose.” Obviously, I’d known that Alice was a lesbian because I did, in fact, take her to prom but if my mother would remember back to the time when this occurred, I’d not been dating and neither had Alice so our mothers arranged our outing. There was never a hint of attraction between us and I even picked up on the fact that her eyes wandered to the young ladies’ breasts more than any boy in the room. If she realized that I was gay, Alice Taylor kept it to herself and didn’t try to out me and I can only assume it’s because she feared I’d do the same to her in return, which I would never do.
“I don’t know how they are handling such an atrocity in their own family. Thank the lord I was blessed with good children. Even though your brother and sister may have strayed from their path, at least they aren’t homosexuals.” As she made a sound of disgust, I felt my stomach churn with the feeling that I may vomit all over my mother’s granite counter tops. There was no way that I could ever come out to her and have her say horrible things about me, knowing that I’d failed her and that she thought me repulsive.
“Well, mother, judge not lest ye be judged yourself, so sayeth the good book.” She hated when I turned that one against her but then she shot right back with,
“If a man lieth with man as with woman, both are an abomination. Don’t use scripture against me, son, for I know it like the back of my hand and in the kingdom of the holy father, there is no room for the gays.” She opened the refrigerator and retrieved two eggs, which she cracked on the side of her large blue and white mixing bowl.
I couldn’t believe that the lord that I’d worshiped all my life hated me simply for who I chose to love or not love but I was in no mood to fight with my mother nor did I want her to grow suspicious. Folding my hands in front of me, I smiled at my mother as I whispered,
“No room for the gays.”
Chapter Five
Super Bowl Sunday came and as the crowd roared around us, all I could think about was getting my team into the end zone as many times as possible in the remaining seven minutes of the game. We led by twelve points, so there was still a chance that the Bucks could pull out a few tricks and snag the win. It was imperative that I remain on top of my game and as I took the ball into my hands, took three steps back and found my receiver, I shot it halfway across the field, directly into his hands and watched him run across the goal line. A few more minutes of play like that and we would once again be the top team in the league and I would have another year of having to meticulously watch my every move. I managed to remain focused long enough to throw a few more successful passes and as the clock counted down to one, I felt the pride and rush of the big win along with the pressure of reporters and paparazzi watching my every move.
The rush of a victory was always followed by the flashing of cameras in my face for months followed by headlines that read:
“Star Quarterback Dines at Local Eatery” or “Drillers Star Buys Bread at Bakery”
They followed my every move, trying to find something juicy to report and one would figure that years of nothing of interest would draw their attention from me but they were waiting for my secret. It was impossible for someone to only be as interesting as their eating establishment and deep down, I knew that they knew that I was hiding something and the one to finally discover what would definitely be praised in the journalism community. Finding a place to lay low was first on my list of things to do in the offseason and I’d already decided to take some time for myself far from the prying eye of the public. A month in Italy sounded amazing to me and I’d already rented a villa and arranged for staff for it so all I would have to do is show up and relax. Having something to look forward to would help with the fact that I was utterly alone and hoped that the excitement of travel abroad would lift my spirits. After I arrived in Tuscany, everything would be in place for me to just put my feet up, lounge in the sun with a smile on my face as I smelled the grapes ripening on the vine and I couldn’t wait.
After a very long plane ride that I mostly slept through, I arrived at the airport, checked in with customs and called a car to take me to my new home away from home. It was every bit as beautiful as I’d expected and it didn’t take long for me to settle in and begin enjoying myself. Never really having time to myself was one of my main problems and I’d never been able to really meet new people, so I hoped to remedy that whilst I was away from prying eyes. The small office area of the villa was furnished with top of the line equipment for those who wished to keep up with business while away and I couldn’t help but pick up the laptop and take it to the bright red, plush chair that sat beside the front window.
I surfed the internet for a while, searching for different celebrities, a few recipes that I wanted to try while I had access to the freshest tomatoes on earth and after I’d run out of things to look for, I gave the words, “Tuscany, gay, nightlife” a shot and came up with a myriad of options. There were so many places where I could go and the chance that I’d be recognized was slim, for I doubt many gay Italians kept up with American football. Going out and experiencing a night of pure fun and freedom was just what I needed but before I hit the clubs, it was probably best that I go into town and check out the latest in fashion. There was no way I would appear at a club full of people who were notoriously the best dressers in the world showing up like an American hillbilly. Italian silk is what my body craved at the moment and after I fed my belly in one of the local bistros, I’d acquire a new ensemble and try my luck in one of the clubs. If I were confronted by someone who recognized me and wondered what I was doing in such an establishment, I’d simply deny any prior knowledge of it being a gathering place for homosexuals. I grew excited as the potential for me to be myself if only for one night grew into a possibility and eventually practicality.
Imagine my surprise when I walked into the vibrant club, dressed to the nines, feeling like a million bucks and noticing that not one soul in the entire place gave a shit about me or my presence. I was completely anonymous and for the first time in my life, I sat down at the bar in a gay club and smiled at the topless bartender with no fear of being shamed. His oiled, muscular chest demanded my eye’s attention and his smile was warm enough to melt even the coldest of hearts but it was his dark, almond eyes that drew me to him. He was absolutely beautiful and I couldn’t keep my gaze from wandering back to him and his tight pants that framed his round ass perfectly. The heart in my very chest leaped when he turned to me with a smile, leaned onto the bar in front of me and said something in Italian that I didn’t understand. With a meek grin, I apologetically asked him if he spoke English and his face lit up as he asked,
“Oh, American?” I nodded with an embarrassed look on my face, feeling ashamed that I hadn’t bothered to learn Italian before taking an impromptu journey to the other side of the world. “I like American.” He winked at me and bit his lip as he said, “I have just the thing for you, Mateo’s specialty.” Turning his perfect face away from me, he gathered the ingredients needed for his signature cocktail and as I watched him move, I welcomed the sight of his rippling back muscles. I felt as if I had finally found myself at home for the first time in my life and as I looked around and saw the many men that were comfortable in the arms of the ones they loved, the thought of never returning to America crossed my mind and I smiled.
Chapter Six
“Is this your first time?” The question caught me off guard and made me blush a bit but luckily the lights were dimmed and the ones that shone were blinking so that my complexion was camouflaged.
“Um, yes?” I wasn’t sure exactly what he was asking but I could answer yes to any aspect of that inquiry. As he laughed, Mateo placed a glass into its place on the shelf then leaned onto the bar so that I could hear him better.
“I know everyone that’s ever been here and I’ve never seen your face, I’d remember. This must be your first time here.” Sighing, hoping that my naivety didn’t ooze out of my pores like a doe-eyed schoolboy, I chuckled and replied,
“Yes, actually. I’ve just arrived and thought I’d grab a drink or two.” Mateo smiled and said,
“I bet that’s not all you’d like to grab.” He winked, bit his lip and turned his round backside to me as he slapped it and walked to the other end of the bar to take care of a customer. I wasn’t sure if he was flirting with me or just doing his job so I tried not to act as if my heart was about to leap out of my chest as I took a sip of the surprisingly strong yet remarkably sweet cocktail in my hand. Turning in my stool to face the open floor of the club, I took in the sight of everyone allowing themselves the freedom to be whoever they wanted to be and noticed that there were people from all aspects of life.
There was a young man dressed in a sequined butterfly costume who was dancing with a gentleman in a three-piece suit and the two seemed to be more in love than I’d ever seen my parents. I saw drag queens and transsexuals, lesbians and gays, all traipsing around without a care in the world and for as long as I’d wished to live openly, I finally had my chance. I took my drink to the dance floor and allowed my fine silk suit to flow with the beat of the music as I closed my eyes and took the tempo into my soul. I wasn’t exactly looking for a dance partner but I didn’t push him away when the bartender sidled up to me and placed his hands on my hips. Turning to face him, I draped my arms over his shoulders as he rolled his hips towards me with a wild hunger in his eyes.
“I think you’re cute.” He whispered in my ear as his hand slowly ran down my sides to rest themselves on my waist as he pulled himself closer. I wrapped my arms around him and replied,
“I think you’re beautiful.” Mateo looked into my eyes and as he leaned in, I could smell the alluring aroma of his cologne and it’s a fragrance that etched itself into my mind forever. The softness of his lips surprised me, as they were more tender than any woman’s that I’d tasted and with a moan, I pulled him close to me, diving in deeper for a more passionate kiss while not wanting to let his wonderful body out of my grasp. I was rock hard in my trousers and there was no hiding that fact from him since he was pressed so close against me.
“You like Mateo,” he said with a coy grin as he rubbed his crotch against my bulging erection.
“I like Mateo, very much,” I admitted with a wild hunger in my eyes. He took me by the hand and walked me from the dance floor to a door marked, “Privato” then we disappeared from the crowd. The small corridor led to a stock room, business office and what looked to be an employee lounge. Ducking into the managerial office, he closed the door behind us and pushed me backward to sit on the edge of the desk. Mateo placed his hand on the back of my head and pulled me to him for a ravenous kiss as his hands swiftly maneuvered the belt and snap of my slacks before placing his hand on my overeager member. Freeing it from its confinement, Mateo stroked my thick shaft as he moaned while biting my bottom lip. I sighed as I relished the taste of his tongue, the scent of his sweat and the feel of his hand on my quivering cock.
I was nervous beyond all measure but ecstatic at the same time, for I had never felt such a thrill than when I felt his touch. Not a touchdown pass in history felt as good as Mateo’s kiss. He playfully tugged on my bottom lip as he pulled away from my embrace and dropped to his knees as my heart leaped from my chest once again. The feeling of his warm mouth enveloping my rigid rod was more intense than I’d imagined it would be for he seemed to know exactly how I liked to be licked and touched, something that women only guessed at and lost.
He greedily took my length into his mouth as his hands grasped the flesh of my hips, pulling me deeper between his beautiful lips as he moaned from the back of his throat. Closing my eyes, I placed my hand on the back of his head and sighed with a large smile on my face as I completely enjoyed the intense pleasure that I was receiving. Feeling myself on the verge of climax, I raised my head and said,
“I’m gonna come,” and he sucked with the most concentrated precision and technique, pulling an explosive orgasm from my loins, into his mouth where he greedily swallowed each drop of my love juice.
As I attempted to catch my breath, Mateo smiled and licked my neck as he ground his hips forward to be met by my greedy hand. His erection was protuberant and I couldn’t release it from his tight, leather pants fast enough. I’d dreamt of this moment all my life and now that it was happening, I couldn’t wait any longer. I stared at Mateo’s long, hard cock as I stroked him from my position in front of him, knelt as a servant willing to do his master’s bidding. There’s no way that I would deny Mateo anything that he asked and felt as obedient to his touch as any slave. My mouth watered for him when I spotted a drop of pre-come on the taut head of his beautiful dick and as I licked it, my tongue swirled around the ridge, taking his glorious cock into my mouth with a lustful moan. Closing my eyes, I ran my tongue along the underside of his smooth shaft as the head pressed against the back of my throat. Pushing past my gag reflex, I took his length down my throat as I gripped his ass with my hands. My head bobbed up and down, allowing him to fuck my mouth as I tried not to appear as if I’d never before been in this position. The rush that I experienced from feeling the rigidity of his cock in my mouth was waking my own member once again, driving me insane with a ravenous hunger for him.
“That’s it, baby,” he cooed in my ear as he ran his hands through my short hair. Pulling back so that I could suck the head of his cock while I stroked it, I looked up to find his eyes and the heat that was behind them. He slowly nodded as he closed his eyes then let his head fall back as he moaned, “Yes!”
The pulsations that forced his hot, sticky load into my mouth-wracked my mind with ecstasy and the desire for more. Making sure to savor the first experience, I slowly swallowed the treat he’d delivered to me before standing to be met with his tender lips in a passionate kiss. His body felt wonderful against mine as I held him in my arms, still trembling with excitement and fascination.
“I have to get back to work but I get off in a few hours if you wanted to hang around and wait.” I kissed his lips once more as I replied,
“I’d love nothing more.”