Authors: Astrid Lee Donovan
If she had the money, she’d be at home gardening and caring for some tomato plants right then, but she had to work to support her son. The only place that would hire a woman with two Bachelor’s Degrees, one in Computer Science, and the other in Accounting, was the grocery store. There wasn’t a need for someone skilled in electronics and accounting in such a small town. Everyone drove over to the next one to do their taxes at the H&R Block, which was more costly than doing it on their own.
Elaine pushed back the resentment she felt and walked up to the door. The metal was cold to the touch as she swung it open and stepped inside. Light music played over the audio system and the interior was spotless as usual. Haley, a dour redhead who hated her position, raised her hand off the still conveyor belt of her checkout lane in a lazy wave. Elaine had returned it before she started for the back of the store where the lockers and break room awaited.
“Elaine,” a voice echoed down the boxed pasta aisle at her and she immediately recognized it. Her footsteps increased slightly and she pretended she hadn’t heard, but when the voice was directly behind her after a series of heels clicking on the floor that sounded like gunfire, she had to acknowledge it.
Elaine turned around and was assaulted with the smell of rose perfume before the rest of her senses could register what she was seeing. Jody Gallant stood in front of her with a two-year-old slung on her narrow hip and a chubby hand clutching her blouse. Unfortunately, the poor kid had no idea he was revealing a very lingerie style bra with red lace and padding.
“Jody,” Elaine said as she plastered on the smile she used for her customers in the checkout lane.
“I’m so glad I caught you! I wanted to ask you if your mother’s doing readings today. I’ve got this man I have my eyes on and he’s coming to the party I’m attending this evening! I’m just so excited-” And that was the point where Elaine stopped listening. She was painfully aware that it would make her look like she was late this morning when she clocked in because Jody was holding her up.
“So is she doing the readings?” Jody asked and broke Elaine from her daydream about getting to the clock-in machine on time.
“Huh? Oh, yes, she’s doing the readings this afternoon. I think she said she only had one person she was going to do them for, but I’m sure she’ll see you if you give her a call.” Elaine watched the baby on Jody’s hip roll its eyes to the ceiling and wanted to give the same sentiment, but she was an adult.
“Oh, that’s awesome!” Jody gushed and gave the toddler a gentle shake up and down. “So I’ll see you around seven?” she asked innocently.
“What?” Elaine tried to remember when she had agreed to anything, and what it was.
“At the party? You said you’d bring the beer,” Jody coaxed gently. Nothing in her gaze or her posture suggested she was upset about Elaine’s obvious blunder.
“Oh, yeah. I, uh, well I have to find someone to babysit Thomas and-”
“I’m sure your mom will.”
“Right, yeah. My mother,” Elaine stumbled as she tried to come up with an excuse. It had been two years since she’d gone out to anything social or something that could be considered fun. It had been two years of taking Thomas wherever he needed to go and going to and from work. She’d become a hermit.
“So I’ll see you at seven,” Jody confirmed before she raised the toddler’s fist off her shirt so that he could wave goodbye. Then she was clomping down the aisle in her pointy shoes and sounding like bullets before she left the store.
Did she come here just to nag me? Elaine wondered as she hurried to the back of the store. The clock told her she was four minutes late, but it had felt like an eternity before Jody had left.
All through her shift she wondered if she could just call Jody or not show, but she was reminded of the fact that she had promised to bring something. What if the party was terrible because she had not brought the beer? Her face was of complete rapture as she listened to the men and women who came through her checkout lane. Not once did she actually hear what they were saying.
When Elaine’s shift was through, she pulled the name badge off her shirt and stuffed it into her pocket. Then she cleaned up her register, said goodnight to her shift manager, and clocked out. Everything was a blur as she hurried from the store and started down the street toward her home at a purposeful pace. She had to get to a phone and tell Jody she wasn’t coming before the entire party was ruined.
As she tried to block images of the last party she’d attended, one where her husband had been blissfully beside her, she almost tripped over a bump in the sidewalk. The jolt flung away the visions and she walked a little calmer back home. As she ascended the stairs to Jacob’s home, she could hear the happy noises of a toddler emerging from inside.
Thomas had known when he was just a year old that something was wrong when his father hadn’t returned. He most likely didn’t have any memories of the events that happened after, but she knew there was an absence in his life. It pained her to think that she might be the cause of that absence even though she hadn’t been the cause of the accident.
Elaine listened to the joyous sounds a few minutes longer before she raised her fist and knocked gently on Jacob’s screen door. His face appeared a few moments later with a splattering of blue frosting on it.
“I hope they were healthy cupcakes this time,” Elaine said as she put her hand on her hip and adopted the scornful mom gaze.
“Sure, sure,” Jacob told her with a reassuring smile. “Made with bananas, whole wheat flour, and a tinsy bit of sugar,” he said as he held up two fingers with a tiny bit of space between them. Thomas sounded as if he were still busy cleaning up from the late afternoon fun.
“Listen, I might be going somewhere this evening and I’m going to have my mom watch Thomas,” Elaine stated without believing she was actually saying it aloud. “I might need someone to, uh, check up on mom every now and then?” It wasn’t the first time she had asked Jacob to check in on her mother when she was supervising Thomas. It had been a year since the incident with her mother, and she understood that mistakes happened, but that was her baby in there. If she lost him, too-
Elaine stopped the thought and smiled when Jacob assured her he would be over to have some tea with her mother. She supposed he actually liked her company since he was always quick to agree.
Jacob came around the corner without a trace of icing on his clothing or his skin, and she assumed he had been thoroughly washed before she showed up.
It had been two hundred and ninety-eight days since she’d stepped foot in a liquor store. It wasn’t a secret to the owner of the establishment, Jonathan Gray, why she showed up once a year to purchase a bottle of Yukon Jack, her husband’s favorite liquor. Jonathan was a tall, willowy man who could either have been in his late forties or early sixties, Elaine couldn’t be sure and she was too embarrassed to ask. He greeted her the same way he did the year before, but there was a look in his eyes that suggested he thought there was trouble.
“Good afternoon, Elaine. What can I do you for today?” he asked in the same southern drawl he’d had the first time she had wandered into the establishment teary eyed and a little frightened. It had been her first time in such a place.
“Well, I’m in need of a case of beer,” she told him warily as she stepped up to the counter. For the first time since she’d met him, Jonathan looked like he might deny her the sale. He had every right to considering it was a state run store and he could deny anyone he liked service.
“What kind?” he asked as if he hadn’t made up his mind yet.
“The kind where a lot of people will appreciate it? I’m going to a party tonight, all adults, don’t worry.” At least, she hoped Jody wasn’t dumb enough to invite a bunch of teenagers or something silly like that. She didn’t know the woman all that well and was starting to wonder if it was a good idea she was pushing herself to attend.
“I wouldn’t peg you for the law-breaking type.” Jonathan smiled as he came around the counter and put his hand on her shoulder. He led her over to the shelf that held over thirty different kinds of beer. “There’s light, dark, in-between, spiced, not spiced, flavored, unflavored, goat-” He waited to see her reaction and she chuckled nervously. “If you’re attending a party, something in-between is probably a good idea. Not something too light for the people who appreciate a rich flavor, and not something so dark and heavy that the lightweights will gag. I’d say a Young’s Bitter. That should do you,” Jonathan said lightly as he pulled down a heavy, twenty-four case of beer.
Elaine thought about telling him she’d rather take two six packs as they would be easier to carry, but she decided she was strong enough. It was only a few miles to the outside of town where the party was located, and she was the mother of a three-year-old. She’d carried heavier diaper bags in her lifetime.
“Thanks, Jonathan,” she told him as she paid and grabbed the beer. She hefted the cased with both arms and clung to it as she walked from the store.
Just as she rounded the corner, her cell phone buzzed in her pocket and she had to wrestle the case to the ground to reach it. It was seven on the dot and her mother had sent her a text stating that Jacob had come over and that Thomas was safely tucked into bed. Somehow, Elaine doubted the second part was true, but Jacob would see to it that her son had a decent bedtime. She picked up the case and continued to walk.
One mile shy of the party, she was starting to wonder why she hadn’t asked someone for a ride. Her feet were killing her and she was afraid she might start to sweat despite the cool evening air. It was about half an hour past the start of the party and she wondered if Jody was upset.
The sound of a muscle car caught her attention and she glanced at it from the corner of her eye. It was an old mustang with three men sitting in it, two in the front and one hanging between the front seats with wild smiles on their faces. All three of them were good looking in their own way, but they looked to be at least five years younger than her. That’s why it shocked her when they stopped and backed up the vehicle, rolling down the window.
“Hey, are you going to the barn party?” It was a testament to how small of a town she lived in that they both knew she was going to the same party they were because she was carrying beer and that the party was being held in a barn. Who did that anymore?
“Yeah,” she said and heard the trunk pop open.
“Put the beer in and get in the back,” the driver demanded with a wink. Elaine thought twice about it, but she decided she’d rather take the risk than carrying her load another five feet.
She slid in the back beside the youngest looking of the three and took his hand when he offered it. “Nicholas,” he told her as a way of greeting.
“Elaine,” she told him with a small smile. They chatted about the weather and how great it was going to be at the party, and then they were there. It took them about five minutes when it would have taken her another fifteen to twenty to get to her destination. She made a mental note to think about getting a car if she was going to be social.
“Thanks for the ride,” she told them as she stepped out. Nicholas took the beer inside and she trailed him at a distance.
The music was louder than she’d remembered it being at parties she’d attended when she was younger, and the bodies mingling about on the dirt dance floor reminded her of a school of fish. It wasn’t something she was eager to jump into. Someone put their hand on her shoulder and the sudden warmth and noise seemed to remind her of a time before when things were happier, when she was more carefree. A time when her husband had approached her in a similar fashion popped into her mind and suddenly it had grown hard to breathe.
Her chest constricted and her heart started to pound as she turned to the unknown person touching her. Jody’s smile was bright and warm as she welcomed Elaine to the party and moved on to talk with other friends. The panic on Elaine’s face must not have been evident, but suddenly she knew why her brain had been telling her it was a bad idea to attend.
Trey, the man who had been Thomas’ father and her lover, had taken her to many parties like this. He had never taken a sip of alcohol because he wanted to be ready if he was called in, but she’d always gotten tipsy and relied on him to take her home. Now there was no one to take her home.
The tears stung her eyes and she sniffed as she hurried out the barn doors and into the night. There was the sound of two people making out to her left, so she opted for the right and hurried around the outside. No one would be able to hear her sniffle and suck in deep breaths of air if she was close enough to the music.
In the dark, she wiped away her tears angrily as she fought for control. She promised every year that she would only cry for one day, and today wasn’t that day.
Memories assaulted her one after the other as she let the tears flow freely. She was glad she hadn’t put on any makeup before she’d left. There wasn’t anyone she’d been looking to impress and she hadn’t thought she’d do more than drink a beer or two and walk home. Now she was standing outside the barn trying to stifle the memories and the tears that came along with them, and she felt pretty pathetic.
If Trey had been there, he would have whirled her around the barn and introduced her to his friends for the umpteenth time as his beautiful wife and mother to their son. She would have smiled and they would have seemed like the perfect couple. They had been in love in a way that was only possible once in a lifetime, Elaine was sure.
He had a smile that was infectious and a dimple on his left cheek. His hair had been a lighter, fairer blonde than hers and he always kept it cropped very short. “So the bad guys can’t grab hold of it,” he’d told her once when they were on a date. Elaine had rolled her eyes and told him to be serious, but he’d adopted a serious gaze and told her he was.
What had won her over were his honest, dark blue eyes and his olive complexion. Thomas had his eyes and his skin tone, but he’d inherited her ash blonde hair.
“Excuse me, but is this spot taken?” The deep voice jolted her out of her miserable reverie and she shook her head abruptly.
“No, of course not,” she told the stranger as she turned her head and wiped the last tear away. Thank God it’s dark, she thought as she looked forward again.
“Thought you might need this,” he said as he held out a plastic red cup with an amber liquid in it. Elaine took it but didn’t sip it. “You look like you’re not having too good of a time.”
“Just had a bad day,” she told him honestly. “Shouldn’t you be inside?” She turned to glance at him and almost did a double take. He was taller than she had first thought because he was slouching against the wall and his skin was so dark that when he smiled his teeth made a sharp contrast. There weren’t many dark skinned men in Hunts, Pennsylvania and she was curious as to why he’d come to a barn party in the first place.
“You can drink it, you know. It’s not poisoned or anything, but I won’t be too insulted if you don’t. I kind of like smart women,” he said as he pointed at her drink with his finger raised off his own cup.
“Oh, I’m just not a big beer drinker,” she lied smoothly as she looked down at the offered drink.
“I’m out here because I’m not too fond of in there myself. Josiah invited me because of the last barn party he tried to have. It almost ended in flames. I don’t know what he thinks an off-duty fireman is going to do with a tiny garden hose and a bunch of drunks if it does decide to go bad, but he seemed pretty adamant.” He took a second to glance at her and she felt her cheeks turn crimson when their eyes met in the dark. She hoped he couldn’t see. “I’m Ethan, by the way.”
“Elaine,” she told him as she took his offered hand. A small jolt of warmth raced up her arm and she sucked in a deep breath before she took her hand back. It had been a long time since she’d felt attraction for someone.
“That’s a nice name - old fashioned and easy to remember. Your mom’s the lady who does readings on Chestnut, right?”
“How’d you know?” she asked as she inwardly wished he’d change the subject. Her mother wasn’t necessarily embarrassing, but everyone seemed to think her daughter had the same affinity for carrying around cards and doing random readings.
“You two look a lot alike and I was just there this afternoon, plus she may have mentioned her daughter, Elaine.” When she looked up with a little alarm and found his toothy grin, Elaine wondered what exactly her mother was talking about. “My mother enjoys tarot cards and thought she could get a reading from your mom. Don’t worry; it was just small talk about you working at the grocery store. Nothing bad,” he amended.
“Did she also mention I have a three-year-old son?” Elaine took a sip of her beer and raised an eyebrow.
“Uh, no. No mention of that,” Ethan told her with a tone of perplexity.
“Yeah, she tends to forget to mention that fact when there are eligible men around.” She kept the scorn from her tone and rolled her eyes. Had Jody talked with her mother before she had gone to the store and showed up in time to convince Elaine to go to the party that night because she knew Ethan was going to be there? Or maybe she was just hoping Elaine would get together with any man at the party. It had been a little odd that Jody hadn’t bought anything on her way out. She’d just shown up, talked to Elaine, and left.
The more she thought about it, the more obvious it became she had been set up.
Elaine finished off the beer and lightly held her cup between two empty fingers. “So your mother likes to play matchmaker?” Ethan asked, seemingly undeterred by her silence.
“You could say that. Ever since my husband died-”, Elaine bit down on her bottom lip hard and held her breath. This was the part where he would throw up his hands and leave, and while she had initially wanted him to, his ability to remain quiet was calming.
“I’m sorry. Bad subject. How about I ask you what your favorite color is? Maybe if you’d like another beer?”
“I’d like that, another beer,” she confirmed. To her shock, Ethan reached down and took her hand as if they had known each other for quite some time, and then he led her back into the barn for another beer.