Room for More (25 page)

“Hey.” My bedroom door cracked open just enough for my mom to stick her head in.

I sat up and yawned. “Morning. Are the girls already up?”

“Yeah. I fed them and their backpacks are ready to go. Want me to put them on the bus?”

“No.” I sighed. “I’ll do it. I called in; I’m not going to work today.”

The corner of her mouth turned down. “No call from Brody, huh?”

I couldn’t speak past the lump in my throat, so I just shook my head. Fresh tears started to build in my eyes, though I had no idea how since I’d cried enough to fill the lake out back.

“Okay, honey. We’ll see you in a little bit.” She closed my door and I turned to my right, staring at my cell phone on the nightstand. I was scared to look at it. So many scenarios ran through my head.

Brody could have texted to say we were done.

He could have texted to say he was coming over and we would work through this.

He might not have texted at all.

I took a deep breath grabbed it.

Nothing.

Shit.

Now came the question of what I should do. Do I turn into a teenager and text the crap out of him, begging for forgiveness, or do I have confidence in our relationship and give him space?

Screw that. I didn’t have enough confidence to tell him about Zach in the first place, now was the time to fight.

HEY, I KNOW LAST NIGHT WAS CRAZY AND YOU’RE CONFUSED AND MAD AT ME. I’M MAD AT ME TOO. FIRST OF ALL, I’M SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR PARENTS. I CAN’T IMAGINE HOW THAT MUST HAVE FELT TO SHOW UP AT MY HOUSE LOOKING FOR COMFORT TO INSTEAD SEE ZACH HERE. LAST NIGHT WAS THE WORST NIGHT OF MY LIFE. IT WAS WAY WORSE THAN WHEN ZACH LEFT BECAUSE WHEN HE LEFT, I WAS ALREADY DEAD INSIDE. THE DAY I MET YOU, I CAME BACK TO LIFE. I’M MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU AND WILL FOREVER REGRET THE COLOSSAL MISTAKE I MADE OF NOT TELLING YOU SOONER. PLEASE GIVE ME A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN.

I hit send on the longest—and most important—text of my life.

Staring at that phone all morning, praying for a response, wasn’t going to do me any good. I jumped up and took a quick shower before walking Lucy and Piper down to the bus.

The smell of burning leaves permeated the air and the crisp morning chilled me just a little bit. The girls and I held hands as we walked down to the edge of the driveway, leaves crunching under our feet. The bus came quickly and they hopped on, blowing kisses at me out the window. I waved until I couldn’t see the bus anymore, desperate to put on a happy face for them when in reality, all I was thinking about was the cell phone in my back pocket.

I was halfway up the driveway when it vibrated.

It was a text! From… Lauren.

L:
HEY, CHICKY. I’M LEAVING TOMORROW. CAN I STOP BY THIS MORNING AND VISIT FOR A LITTLE BIT OR ARE YOU WORKING?

Thank God I called in. I can’t let her go back to Italy like that.

NO, I CALLED IN SICK. PLEASE COME OVER. I OWE YOU THE BIGGEST APOLOGY EVER.

L:
YOU OWE ME NOTHING. I’LL BE THERE SOON.

I had two mason jars, filled with ice and raspberry tea, ready to go just a bit later when I heard a loud knock. As excited as I was to see Lauren, part of me really hoped it would be Brody on the other side of the door instead. No such luck.

I barely had the door open and Lauren was pushing through it, throwing her arms around me. “I’m so sorry for the way dinner went last night. That’s not at all what I had in mind.”

Exhaling, I hugged her back and rested my head on her shoulder. “Me too. I shouldn’t have run out like that, but I couldn’t take the guilt from Alexa anymore.”

“I’m sorry too,” Alexa said quietly, stepping up behind Lauren with her hands shoved in her hoodie as she stared at the ground.

Seeing Alexa look so sad, combined with my already fragile mindset… I couldn’t stay mad at her. Not letting go of Lauren, I sighed and held my arm up for Alexa to join in on the hug.

“I’m so sorry for being such a bitch, Kacie,” Alexa said into Lauren’s hair. “You’re right. I have no idea how hard this has been for you. I’m such an asshole.”

I didn’t respond, but I squeezed her hand.

“Come in. Let’s sit.” I finally pulled away, grabbing Lauren’s hand too, and led them to the back of the house. They followed me into the kitchen as I grabbed another mason jar from the cabinet. I poured another glass of tea and sat down across from them.

“So, when are you due?” I asked Lauren.

Her full red lips spread into a wide smile. “March. We got pregnant the minute we got to Italy.”

“Aw, a spring baby. I’m so excited for you. How has Tommy been?”

Lauren laughed and rolled her eyes. “Well, I was never very blessed in the boob department, but they were the first things to gain weight. Now as much as he wants to play with them, they hurt too much for him to touch.”

“I remember those days.” I groaned. “They hurt so bad, I couldn’t even sleep on my stomach. How are you feeling otherwise?” I asked.

“Okay. For awhile I was nauseated all the time. I threw up every time Tommy cooked bacon, which is a problem because he tries to incorporate it into every meal.”

I leaned forward, not wanting any wandering guests to hear me. “Have you been constipated at all?”

Alexa’s face twisted in disgust as her eyes darted back and forth between Lauren and me. “This is gross. You two are making my decision of never having kids easier and easier to swallow.”

“Oh, stop it.” I tilted my head at her skeptically. “You’ll have kids.”

“No way.” She took a sip of tea. “Derek and I already decided it’s not our thing. We’re totally fine just being the cool aunt and uncle our whole lives. We’re too selfish for kids.”

“I guarantee you’ll change your mind.” I nodded at her.

“Not a chance.” She laughed. “That’s why I’m friends with you two baby factories. I get any weird baby urges out with your kids and then go home to my clean, non-toy-filled house and drink copious amounts of wine while having sex with my husband in the middle of the living room floor.”

“Sounds like the night I got pregnant,” Lauren sighed, causing Alexa and me to roar with laughter.

“So what about you, Kacie? Would you have more kids with Brody?” Alexa asked.

The sound of his name was a punch to the gut. While the memory of last night’s events hadn’t left my mind, I was able to push them aside long enough to chat with my friends for a while. But when Alexa innocently mentioned his name, it all came flooding back. My eyes dropped down to my hands. I wasn’t sure how to answer her question. I didn’t even know if I would ever see him again, let alone be lucky enough to have him father my kids.

“Kacie?” Lauren looked nervously at me and then Alexa.

My head swept up and I brushed tears from the corner of my eye.

Lauren’s eyes widened and her mouth dropped. “What happened?” She reached over and gently rubbed my arm.

A shaky sigh escaped me as I looked at her, but not Alexa. I could not handle any judgmental glares right now. “Zach was here last night. He showed up drunk.”

Alexa leaned forward as her eyes bulged from her head. “Zach?”

“Yep. We sat on the porch for a few minutes while he rambled on and on about missing the girls and me and all this other weird crap.” I rubbed my eyes with my hands, thoroughly exhausted. “Anyway, while we were sitting there, Brody drove up the driveway. Apparently he was at his parents’ and they told him they were divorcing. He was upset, so he came here and found…” I choked on a sob before I could finish the sentence.

They both sat perfectly still, their eyes large as they hung on my every word. My heart raced and my body shook from retelling the events of the night before.

I cleared my throat and continued, “He found Zach and me on the front porch. Needless to say, he flipped.”

“Did he hit him?” Alexa asked.

“More than once. I think he broke his jaw.” I dropped my head into my hands.

Lauren smacked the table hard with her hands. “Shut up! He did not!”

I peeked at her through my fingers. “He absolutely did. Brody punched him so hard, he flew over the railing and landed on the lawn.”

They both gasped.

“I… What… How…” Lauren stuttered. “I don’t even know where to begin.”

“Zach didn’t fight back; he just wanted to leave. I told Brody that he was too drunk, so I’d drive him home.”

“Whoa,” Alexa exclaimed softly. “You drove Zach home? Did Brody stuff him in the trunk first?”

I shook my head as I got up and grabbed a bag of pretzels out of the pantry.

“Pretzels?” Alexa stared at the bag as I sat back down. “It’s nine o’clock in the morning.”

I shrugged, shoving a pretzel in my mouth. “Shut up. I’m stress-eating.”

“Finish the story. What else happened?” Lauren reached over and grabbed a handful of pretzels.

“Brody argued, naturally, and then said the only way that was happening was if Zach rode with him and I drove Zach’s car.” I took a deep, cleansing breath. “So that’s what we did. After I parked Zach’s car, I hurried back to Brody’s truck and lost it. I cried the whole way home. We pulled in the driveway and I hopped out, thinking he was right behind me, but he said he was leaving.” My voice cracked. “He said he needed to think and process and whatever, so… he left. I haven’t talked to him since.”

“Have you reached out to him?” asked Lauren.

“Yeah, I sent him a text this morning, asking him to let me explain. Nothing yet.” I picked up my phone and glanced down at the tiny envelope in the top right corner, silently begging it to light up.

“Wow.” Alexa sounded shocked.

“I know, I know. You were right.” I glared at her. “I don’t want to hear about it, okay?”

“Kacie, I’m not trying to be right, nor am I throwing anything in your face. I just feel bad that all this happened to you. I’m so sorry.” She reached across the island and squeezed my hand.

I let her.

I needed it.

After a couple hours of the girls telling me it would be okay and Lauren and me trying to gross out Alexa with pregnancy details, it was time for them to go. “When will I see you again? Not ‘til summer?” I whined at Lauren. She got to the front door and turned to face me, grabbing my hands and swinging them back and forth. “Yeah.” She sighed. “We come back for good in June. Next time you see me, I’ll be the mommy of a three-month-old. God, how weird does that sound?”

“Very weird, but amazing.” I pulled her in for a long tight hug. I didn’t want to let go. Selfishly, I wanted to move her into my house so she could always be there to tell me everything would be okay. She was so good at that.

She stepped back and cupped my face with her hands. “Chin-up. Brody’s a wise man; he’ll come around. You’ll probably have a huge rock on your finger next time I see you.”

I gave her a small smile. “Cross your fingers for me.”

“I’ll cross my fingers and my toes. Hell, I’ll cross my legs. I’m already knocked up, what does it matter now?” Lauren laughed.

“I’m not good with words like she is,” Alexa tilted her head toward Lauren and rolled her eyes. “But I love you. Hang in there. Call me if you need me. I’m only a few miles away.”

“Bragger.” Lauren narrowed her eyes at Alexa.

“I love both of you. Now go.” I opened the front door. “Lauren, have a safe flight tomorrow. Give Tommy a hug for me.”

“Will do, love.”

They left and I closed the door, turning and leaning against it. I was about to give in to the nasty feeling in the pit of my stomach again when my back pocket vibrated.

A text.

From Brody!

B:
HEY. I’M DEFINITELY CONFUSED AND PRETTY PISSED. I NEED SOME SPACE TO THINK. I’M HEADING OUT OF TOWN WITH THE TEAM TONIGHT BUT WILL BE BACK IN A FEW DAYS. I’LL CALL YOU. IN THE MEANTIME, I’D APPRECIATE IF YOU DIDN’T HANG OUT AT THE PARK WITH ZACH.

Shit. The park. How did he know about that?

My stomach flipped and I suddenly felt worse than I did two minutes before.

I UNDERSTAND. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. PLEASE DON’T FORGET THAT.

I waited and waited, staring at my phone.

He never answered.