Authors: Mildred Colvin
“I wonder how far away pieces of this barn are scattered?” Amanda asked.
Linda stretched her back as she looked across the now peaceful countryside with grazing cattle and a cloudless blue sky. “Probably not so far, but on the other hand, part of it could have gone for miles before falling back to the ground. It’s hard to tell, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, sort of like some of the mistakes we make in life.” Amanda watched Chad walk around the end of the house. “Mistakes cause damage. Sometimes far-reaching, sometimes not so far.”
Linda followed her line of vision. “Chad Randall. He’s grown into a fine-looking man. Is he one of those mistakes you’re talking about?”
Amanda turned her back to Chad, covered her face with her hands, and then peeked through her fingers at Linda. “You remember.”
Linda laughed. “Of course I remember.” She held her finger and thumb together without touching. “You and Chad were this close to getting married. Next thing I knew, you vamoosed to California and the wedding was off. Before your exit dust settled, you’d married someone else. Sarah never did tell me the particulars. Did she know?”
Amanda shook her head. “No.”
She tossed more wood on the wheelbarrow, working frantically for several minutes. Linda worked alongside her without pressing the issue. Finally she stopped.
“All right. Keep your secrets. I wasn’t asking anyway.” She put her hands on her hips, breathing hard. “Let’s not try to finish the entire yard in the next ten minutes, okay? Maybe you can keep up with our elderly friends, but I can’t.”
Amanda straightened with a broken length of wood in her hand. “I’m sorry, Linda. It’s just seeing him again. I mean I didn’t know he was anywhere within a hundred miles of here and there he stood looking…” She closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them a tear hovered on her lashes and she brushed it away. She whispered the one word. “Vulnerable. He looks so sad and I want to cry for him.” She gave a short, harsh laugh. “He broke my heart and I feel sorry for him.”
Linda’s voice was soft, sympathetic. “Can you do this?”
“Work for Chad?” Amanda nodded. “Sure. I’ll keep my distance and we’ll get along fine.”
Linda lifted her eyebrows. “Didn’t the pastor say we are sent to help clear the destruction, but maybe for another purpose, too? Maybe Chad has a need that our church can reach. Maybe you need to reach out and let God heal all these old hurts. Maybe that’s why you’re here at this exact moment.”
Amanda tossed the broken lumber at the wheelbarrow. “Maybe so. Looks like this is full.”
Linda grabbed the wheelbarrow, pushed it to the pile of firewood, and dumped it. Amanda was glad she didn’t press the issue. She was a special lady. Part friend and part mother. As her best friend’s mother, she’d done her share over the years of making sure both Amanda and Sarah behaved. She’d always been ready with a word of advice or encouragement when they needed it. Amanda might pretend to brush her insight and wisdom aside, but she knew she would be thinking about their conversation later when she was alone.
They worked hard through the morning to the tune of the chain saw and the men’s voices calling to each other. With the sun straight overhead, Elva and Mable joined them. “We’ve decided someone needs to tell the men it’s time to eat.”
“Amanda, why don’t you do that while we set out the ice chests? Ask if there’s a table we can use.” Linda turned away with the other two ladies and headed toward the driveway where the vehicles were parked.
Amanda watched them, her hands on her hips, and muttered, “Thanks to you, too. Surely you aren’t trying to push me toward Chad just so I can forgive him and forget some long-ago hurt I scarcely remember anyway.”
She did an about-face and started toward the house with a shrug. She’d show Linda. She wouldn’t remember the night Chad hurt her. With more self-restraint than she knew she had, she forced her mind from the vivid details slithering at the edge of her memory and concentrated on finding her pastor.
The house sat at an angle facing the driveway. She reached the end of the house and stopped short of slamming into Chad as he barreled around the corner.
He caught her by the shoulders and then jerked his hands back as if burned. “I’m sorry.” He blinked and shook his head. “Mandy?”
His pet name for her, a name she allowed no one else to use, sounded natural coming from him.
She didn’t speak. He stepped back. “I’m sorry, Amanda. I want you to know how thankful I am for your help. You and the group from your church. We’ve made good progress. We’ll have the tree cut up into firewood for the fireplace before the day’s over.”
“Oh, is it down already?” She stepped to the side and looked past the corner of the house so he couldn’t see into her eyes. He might read something that wasn’t there. A fog enveloped her brain. Her heart set up a rapid beat.
Beyond a good-sized deck, which covered the closest half of the house, men still worked. Sawdust littered the ground near a huge log that held several large branches. Leaves and broken sticks covered the area, and a large pile of brush leaned against the back fence.
“Yes, it is.”
“What is?” Had she asked a question?
“The tree. It’s down.” His voice dropped to almost a whisper. “You look wonderful, Mandy.”
She swung toward him and searched his face without responding. She froze, memorizing every change, every detail she’d only dreamed of for fourteen years. She should be angry with him. She shouldn’t stand this close to him or even speak to him. But she found no hurt, no bitterness, and no anger in her heart.
Only a response she didn’t want. A response to his presence she couldn’t afford. That and curiosity.
Where was his wife? Did he have children?
A thousand questions begged for release, but she asked only one. “We need a table for lunch if that’s possible? We’ve already started getting food out and need a place to put it.”
He nodded toward the deck. “There’s a table with benches. We can eat out here. I’ll pass the word.” With that he turned away.
She leaned against the end of the house. As she waited, her heart slowed to a normal beat. A fluffy white cloud drifted past, and she concentrated on it. Like a silly schoolgirl, she let an encounter with her past get way out of proportion. So she once loved Chad. That was long ago. She’d married a wonderful man, and they’d had far too short a life together. Jeffrey. Why did his blond hair darken and his face become Chad’s when she tried to bring him to mind? She closed her eyes and gave her head a quick shake to rid it of the troubling thoughts, then pushed away from the house.
She went back to the front yard. Maybe Linda was right. Maybe she shouldn’t stay, but she couldn’t leave without creating a scene. After today she wouldn’t come back.
When she reached the front only Linda waited. Amanda forced a smile. “So where’s the food?”
Linda smiled as if she knew something. “They took the ice chests through the house to a deck in back. Let’s see what this house looks like. I must admit, I’ve been curious all morning.”
They stepped into the living room. Other than quilts folded on the sofa, the room appeared clean and neat. Amanda assumed Chad slept there the night before. A wide arched doorway opened into the dining room on the back of the house. As they stepped through the arch, they saw where Chad had been trying to clean. Cardboard covered the windows in both the dining room and the kitchen so the rooms were dark and gloomy. She wondered what he wanted them to do, but didn’t pursue the thought as the men picked that moment to come inside for more chairs.
After they set out the food, Pastor Mattson prayed and silence fell while everyone helped themselves to sandwiches, potato salad, casseroles, chips, and an assortment of soft drinks kept cold in ice.
With their hunger satisfied, the men began chatting. Amanda paid only enough attention to their conversation to know they were talking about the tree that had been wedged against the house. Rather than listen, she watched Chad join in and laugh with the other men. His smile sent her pulse racing and that annoyed her. She crossed her arms and turned her back toward them. She didn’t need the complication. She could ask to be assigned to another location. Or maybe she should start looking for a summer job.
“Seems odd the barn was destroyed and the house almost untouched.” Linda’s voice penetrated her musings.
She nodded. “Yes, but tornadoes do strange things. I don’t imagine any two are alike.”
“I heard there were two that night. I wonder if both touched down here.”
“Yes, they did.” Chad leaned against the railing near them.
Amanda’s traitorous heart leapt.
He looked out to where the barn once stood. “The first one damaged the barn. The neighbor said it looked like Steve went out to check the damage. He thought maybe Jess heard about the second tornado on the radio and ran out to tell him. They didn’t make it back to the house before it hit.”
His voice cracked on the last word and a muscle twitched in his jaw. Amanda brushed at tears pooled in her eyes and swallowed trying to stop any others. She was afraid to speak.
“Kara. Is that your niece?” Linda asked.
He nodded.
“Where is she now?”
Again his jaw clenched. “In foster care. The state swooped in and took her, giving me visiting privileges. That’s why it’s so important to get this place fixed. When I get it cleaned up and safe, I can bring her home.”
“I know you’re looking forward to that.” Linda smiled. “How old is she?”
“Ten months.”
Amanda’s breath caught in her throat. Charity was ten months old when she died.
C
had watched Amanda while he talked to Linda. He’d always been able to read her expressions, but now he wasn’t sure. Pain and grief twisted her features when his sister’s name was mentioned. Jessica and Mandy had been close. As close as sisters.
Mandy moved and her auburn hair flashed a brilliant, beautiful red in the sunlight. He used to tease her about her red hair and a temper to match. Her hair was still a shiny auburn. Had her temperament mellowed in the last several years? He didn’t know her anymore.
When he mentioned Kara’s age, Mandy’s face paled and she closed her eyes for a moment. She’d been married. He’d heard her husband died a few years ago in a traffic accident. Had there been a child? If so, where was the child today? He didn’t know but wanted to find out. In fact, he wanted to find out all about her. What she’d been doing. Why she was back home. She was a long way from California, so there must be a reason, unless she was here for a visit.
“You ready to go back to work?” John, a likable man in his early forties, joined Chad at the railing. “Looks like we’ve been given the job of climbing on the roof. The old codgers figure it’s too dangerous for them to get more than six feet off the ground.”
Chad grinned. “Sure, but has anyone figured out what we’ll do up there? We need something to cover the hole. Plastic sheeting would be good, but there probably isn’t any available within a hundred miles of here.”
John shook his head. “Oh ye of little faith.” He pointed to the men who were just now leaving the table. “Do you see those two old guys with the pastor? One’s a retired carpenter. The other’s a plumber, almost retired. What one doesn’t have, the other does. They brought plastic, just in case. Come on, let’s get it up before it rains.”
“Good idea.” Chad sent one last smile toward Amanda before he followed John and the other men.
Linda called after him, “Hey Chad, we’ve got a lot of leftovers. Do you care if we put it all in your refrigerator?”
He stopped and shrugged. “That’s fine, but I don’t have electricity, so if you leave it too long, you may not find any when you return.”
Her laughter rang out. “In that case we’ll leave the ice, too. And one of the chests. Please do eat it up.”
“Don’t worry, I will.” He waved over his shoulder. “And thanks.”
Chad and John worked together well and soon had the sheeting in place. As they nailed the last board over the edge to hold it down, Chad stood and looked over the peak of the roof toward the barn. Amanda had a full wheelbarrow halfway to the firewood pile. If he could get away from the men, he’d take that job from her.
On the ground, he approached the pastor as they walked around the house. “We’ve got the tree out now, and I’m more grateful than I can express for everything that’s been done. Everyone has worked hard all morning. I’m not trying to run you off, but I don’t want to wear anyone out either.”
Pastor Mattson smiled and rubbed the back of his neck with his handkerchief. “I was thinking about calling it quits for the day. We don’t pull trees out of roofs every day, you know. I’d like to make another workday this coming week if we can. I think all of us except John and Rick are free about anytime. Why don’t you name a day, except Wednesday, and we’ll make plans to be here?”
“Would Tuesday morning work for you?” Setting a time made Chad feel like a beggar, and he hated that. He needed help though for Kara. If he worked alone, she would remain in foster care all summer, and that made begging worthwhile.
“Sounds fine to me.” The pastor looked at the other men for confirmation.
By then the women had gathered around, and they all nodded their heads, too. All but Amanda. Chad tried to catch her gaze, but she looked everywhere except at him. His heart sank. She wouldn’t be back. She hadn’t known he’d be here.
As the group broke up with promises to return, Chad thanked them for their work while he watched Amanda walk to her car. He had to catch her. He might never get the opportunity again. He started toward her when he felt a hand on his arm.
Linda Maddox held him with a stern gaze. “She’s been hurt enough.”
He watched Amanda open the car door. He looked back at Linda. “I heard her husband died.”
She nodded. “Yes, along with her baby. But that isn’t all of it.”
“Are you talking about us? When we broke up?” Chad didn’t understand. It was a long time ago. Yet seeing the girl he’d loved so much had erased the years. More than anything he wanted to tell her how sorry he was. He wanted to apologize because he hadn’t been able to back then.