He nodded and sat beside me, wrapping his arms around my waist. He kissed my hair and murmured, “Don’t you ever do that to me again. You have no idea what I thought. I couldn’t bear losing you.”
Mom answered on the first ring, “Alex! Is she back?” her voice sounded even more frantic than I had anticipated.
“
It’s me, Mom.”
“
Chris! Oh thank goodness you’re
home. Mike, she is back. Call and tell everyone.”
“
Everyone?”
“
Yes, we have had all of our friends out looking for you.”
“
Awww, Mom…” I whined.
“
Don’t start with me young lady. Where have you been? We have been going crazy! How could you just disappear and not tell me? This isn’t like you. Are you in trouble?”
“
Calm down, Mom. I’m fine. But you have some questions to answer for me.”
“
What?” she asked. “Questions? What questions?”
I took a deep breath. I didn’t ask about my father anymore. I hadn’t for years. I could see the pain in her face when I brought it up. He didn’t just leave me, he left her
,
too.
“
Who is my father?”
Alex leaned back to
stare
at me. He knew the subject was hard for me. His face went blank and he looked away to the TV. He tried to straighten out his face, but he looked upset.
“
Your….
father
?”
“
Yes, Mom. My father.”
“
I don’t really wanna get into that right now—”
“
Of course not, Mom! You never want to get into that! You don’t care about what I want! It’s always about you!
It doesn’t matter that I am twenty-two
years old and don’t even know my father’s name!” I was yelling and sobbing at the same time.
Alex was staring at me dumbfounded. It was even stranger for him to see me so angry than it was for me to feel it.
“
Your father is…. dead, Christina.”
A single chill ran down my spine. Alex
looked at me with tormented eyes and lowered his head. For some reason, he looked….sad. Like he knew already
,
too.
“
Dead,” I repeated.
A single tear rolled down my cheek
,
and Alex put his arms around me.
“
How long have you known, Mom?”
“
Ten days.”
“
What?! Are you kidding me? Have you known about him this whole time?”
“
Yes.”
“
How could you keep something like this from me?” I was angry now. All the sadness I felt was overpowered by the sudden immense and uncomfortable hatred I felt for her, for not telling me what I was now certain she had always known about my father. What she said next I was most definitely not prepared for.
“
Because it was the dying wish of your
mother.”
Four
“
My…my….
my…
.
” I was hyperventilating now.
“
Christina, calm down,” Alex was holding my arms, shaking me now. He didn
’t seem as disturbed as I was that
the world I had never fit into, the mother I was nothing like, and everything I believed came crashing down on me at the words my mother had just said. I was dizzy at the thought.
“
Are you saying that I…
that I…
.
” I trailed off.
“
Yes, Christina. You are adopted.”
“
But how could you not tell me? Lies!” I shouted. “It’s all been lies.”
“
Chris I had to
.
I
t’s what your mother wanted—”
“
Stop! I don’t want to know anymore,” I closed my eyes.
I had never felt anything like this in my life. I felt so betrayed. Adopted. Lied to. Adopted. It was too much. Adopted. And both of my parents—dead. I would never know them.
“
I just want to know one thing. What are their names?”
I could hear the tears in her throat.
“
Lynn Marie Mason and Azariah Delano. But Chris—”
“
Don’t. Goodbye, Mother.”
I put down the phone and tears flew
from my face like never before. Alex just lay there patiently rubbing my hair while I stained his shirt with salt water. Aside from an occasional “Sshhh,” or “It’s okay
,”
he never said a word.
I didn’t know I had fallen asleep, but when
I woke,
the room was dark and I was still in the same position, curled up into Alex. He hadn’t moved either.
The tears once again began flowing. It woke up Alex, but he stayed in place and occasionally kissed my hair or forehead. Once the tears drained again, I fell back asleep.
When I woke up again, I felt hardly rested, but I couldn’t get back to sleep. I decided to get up and walked to my desk and turned on my laptop.
While I waited for it to load, I stared at Alex. He was the only person I could trust. The one person I knew I could count on. I
was so grateful to have him. I knew I wouldn’t be able to get through this without him.
Tears welled up in my eyes, but I wiped them away and turned to the screen. I pulled up my favorite search engine and typed my mother’s name first. No results. Then my father’s. Same thing.
I drummed my fingers on the keys not knowing what to look for next. I typed St. Christina Marie Church, Ohio. That brought up only one link that looked valuable. I clicked on it. There was a picture of the outside of the church on the homepage. Even on a computer screen,
it made me shudd
er.
I scanned through the information provided, which wasn’t much, and gathered it was a Catholic church built in the early 1800s, but the foundation dated back to the early 1600s.
It stated that it was no longer an attended church, but it had no listings for
contacts. The rest of the information proved useless, so I went to another search engine to start again. Still no more information. I put my head down on the desk annoyed.
* * *
It was much darker this time. I could barely see the once bright paintings and figures on the walls. I was again in the hallway with the photo of my father.
I turned to see that face that was so familiar, yet so strange to me, and stopped short. The photo was gone. The man from the picture was standing there, right in front of me. His eyes sparkled and he reached his hand toward me.
“
My Christina,” the same voice from my dreams boomed.
“
Father,” I breathed and took a step forward. He didn’t come any closer, so I took another step. Still nothing. I started running
toward him, still not closing the distance. Suddenly, he looked like he was choking. His hands scratched at his throat and he made a g
urgling
sound. He, too, leaked bright red blood from his eyes and crumpled to the floor.
“
Father!”
“
No!” I screamed. My head snapped up off of the desk. Alex was by my side in a second.
“
What happened?”
“
It was just a dream. Oh. Just an awful dream,” I sobbed.
He held me until the tears stopped. It wasn’t long. I was slowly learning to control my tears. He picked me up and carried me to the couch.
“
Why don
’t you tell me about this dream?
”
“
I don’t want to.”
“
Maybe it will help.”
“
Which dream
?”
“
This wasn’t the first?”
I shook my head, wiping away the last of the tears on my face. He waited patiently as I told him about the city and the girl, the church and the man I met there, and what he called me, and about the picture of my father. He showed no expression on his face through all of it. Great, he thinks I’m crazy.
When I finished, he sat with his eyes down for a minute.
“
So how did you find this church?”
I hesitated. I didn’t understand how he was so calm. It kinda pissed me off. Not that that wasn’t happening a lot lately anyway.
“
Well, I had some recent deposits in my account that I noticed. Large amounts…
.
”
“
He left you his assets.” It was a statement, not a question. I nodded. “How
much?”
I winced.
“Well
,
the last time I checked it was three different deposits totaling… a little over one and a half million.” His mouth fell open. “Finally a reasonable reaction,” I snapped.
He clamped his mouth shut and looked offended. “I’m sorry, Alex. It’s just, I have been so emotional lately,
I don’t know why I just, I just….
” I started to cry again.
“
It’s okay, Christina,” he soothed.
“
Alexander, will you stay with me today? Please?” My eyes begged him, and if he said no I was sure I would lose it.
“
Of course, silly girl. I’ll stay as long as you want.”
“
And, um, all night?” I asked shyly.
Even after almost a year of dating, he had never slept at my house, and I never stayed at his. We had never really done much
more, physically, besid
es kiss. He and I were both old-
fashioned in that way. We both wanted to wait until marriage.
“
If you want, sure. I can sleep out here on the couch,” he smiled reassuringly.
“
Okay,” I smiled. “And I don’t wanna talk about any of the
—
”
“
Say
no more.” H
e held his hands up. “A full day of movies, maid service, and gourmet cooking at your service, my lady,” he bowed. It made me giggle.
“
Oh so you cook now, do you?”
“
Are you kidding me? I make the best darn grilled cheese sandwiches in the northern hemisphere,” he stated smugly.
“
Well in that case, I’ll take two.”
“
For breakfast?” he wrinkled his nose at me.
“
Hey, you offered.”
“
At your request.” He dazzled me with his smile and darted off to the kitchen.
The rest of the day passed, and he did well to distract me from the battles in my mind. After dinner we snuggled up to a movie.
“
You know, Alex, even when nothing else in my life makes sense, you are the one thing I am always sure about. Thank you for today. I love you.”
Understanding gleamed from his eyes. He leaned in and gently pressed his lips to mine. My lips, mouth, and whole body were on fire. My heart thudded in my ears, and I swear I could even hear his
,
too. His lips suddenly turned fierce, hungry, and he moved them faster, more intensely, parting my lips with his tongue. His breath on my face made me dizzy. He smelled so sweet. He pulled back and parted our lips then leaned into my ear.
“
Christina Marie, I love you as well.”
He pulled back and looked into my eyes. “My heart is yours.”
After the movie, Alex grabbed a pillow and a blanket out of the closet to make himself a spot to sleep on the couch. Not knowing how far our boundaries extended on the “not being intimate yet” thing, I decided to test it.
“
Will you um, sleep with me?” I mumbled. His face looked a bit panicked, but he quickly straightened it out.