Royal Holiday Baby (12 page)

“We have the charity drive for the children's wing at the hospital coming up in a few weeks, though, so that will keep all of us busy. We do a little carnival for children and donate the money we make to the hospital,” Eve said, taking a long drink from her glass.

“Charity drive?” Tina echoed.

Hildie scowled at Eve. “You need to be careful what you say in front of her.”

Tina frowned. “Why? I'm not a child.” She narrowed her eyes. “Has Zachary told you to shield me from what's going on in the community? If so, he and I will definitely have a discussion.”

“He didn't use the word shield,” Hildie said.

Tina began to stew. “I'll just bet he didn't. And did he threaten your job? Because if he did, Zachary and I made a deal about your job. As long as I stay at the ranch until one month after the baby is born, he can't fire you. Period. Not that he would have in the first place,” she added.

Hildie blinked at her. “You made a deal for me?”

“Of course I did,” Tina said. “I practically forced you to drive me to Dallas.”

Hildie met her gaze and her eyes grew shiny with unshed tears. “I don't know what to say. Zachary has always been good to me, but you don't know me that well and you stood up for me anyway.”

Tina was flattered. Hildie wasn't one to give faint praise. “It was nothing,” she said. “Now can someone fill me in on the details of this charity event? After all, charity events are my specialty.”

Eve exchanged a look with Hildie. “Can you imagine how much people would pay to have lunch with a princess?”

“Children?” Hildie asked.

Eve shook her head. “Adults. Think about it. You're digging weeds next to your neighbor's fence and casually mention, ‘I had lunch with a princess last weekend.'”

Hildie grimaced. “Zachary will kill us.”

“Maybe,” Eve said. “But he can't fire you.”

Excitement raced through Tina. Now, she had a project, a purpose.

The following day, however, she had a totally different
purpose. As Zachary drove his truck to the spot for the picnic, she experimented with how she would ask him the questions that had been burning inside her. It was long past time for them to discuss some very important issues, and she hoped with every inch of her that he would be both receptive and responsive. If she'd believed in crossed fingers and toes, she would be doing both.

Zachary pulled to a stop next to a weeping willow tree and a small pond. There was a small stand of grass and some bluebonnets stubbornly showing their gorgeous blossoms on the edge of the idyllic mound.

“It's beautiful,” she said.

He nodded. “I stole away to this place when I was a kid as much as I could in the summertime.”

“I can see why. Shade, water and grass. What more could a young boy want?”

“A swing,” he said. “I would swing on that tree and go flying into the pond. Sometimes all three of us, my brother, sister and I, would play hooky on a hot day and come here.”

“Good times,” she said, watching his eyes light with happy memories. “Maybe they can come back sometime soon.”

His happiness seemed to fade. “Maybe,” he said and grabbed the picnic basket and blanket. “Let's eat.”

Zach spread out the blanket and Tina unloaded the picnic basket, quelling her nerves about how he might respond to her. Hildie had prepared delicious club sandwiches, fruit and cookies for their mini feast.

“Hildie's an excellent cook,” Tina said.

Zach nodded as he ate his sandwich. “She's worked for my family for a long time.”

“You don't know how lucky you are. At the palace, each person receives one assignment.” She shot him a dry smile. “Except for the royals. We do everything.”

“Do you still like taking a break?” he asked. “I want you to feel like you can take a break.”

“I can only do that for a while before I get, well, bored. I need to feel productive,” she said.

He set down his sandwich. “Does that mean you want to return to your country?” he asked.

His stark expression took her off guard. “No,” she said quickly. “As much as I love my country and people, I think it's time for some of my other family members to contribute. In the meantime, though, I need to be productive wherever I am. Here,” she said, meeting his gaze.

He nodded thoughtfully. “I can understand that. We'll just need to coordinate it with avoiding the paparazzi. I don't want you to have to deal with that hassle.”

“You've been quite successful,” she said. “Perhaps the palace could take lessons from you.”

He chuckled. “Amazing what a couple of cowboys with shotguns can do.”

She nodded, her mind still heavy with the subject that continuously hovered in her mind. “There is something I've wanted to ask you about.”

“Ask,” he said and took another bite of his sandwich.

She took a sip of water to dampen her suddenly dry mouth then took a calming breath. “I know you were married and that you lost your wife and baby. I'm so sorry for all you've suffered. I'm so sorry for your loss.”

His face closed up and his eyes turned hard. “I don't discuss that,” he said. “With anyone.”

D
isappointed by Zach's abrupt response, Tina stared into his closed gaze. She had hoped that their physical intimacy had mirrored a growing emotional intimacy. “I just want you to feel like you can talk with me about it. After all, I'm having your child and—”

Zach shook his head. “I'm not going to talk about it. If you want to push the conversation, we may as well leave. But I had something else I wanted to discuss with you and I think both of us would like that subject much better,” he said.

She could tell by the set of his jaw that she wasn't going to get anywhere talking about his wife and child. The knowledge frustrated her, but she didn't want to ruin their afternoon. That didn't stop her from hoping he would open up to her some other time.

“Okay,” she relented. “What did you want to discuss?”

His gaze relaxed slightly. “In a little bit. Let's enjoy the lunch, first.”

“That was a tease,” she said, her curiosity piqued.

“How do you like it here?” he asked.

“It's taking some getting used to,” she said. “The isolation can be both good and bad. It's nice going out and not feeling like I'm being watched by everyone and my photograph isn't being taken every other second. I still find it amazing that you've been able to keep the paparazzi away.”

“I'm not obligated to allow anyone to see you,” he pointed out. “My job is to protect you. As far as the palace PR is concerned, they can take a royal leap.”

She chuckled, imagining the response of the advisers and her brother. She couldn't deny, however, how refreshing it was to have someone so protective of her. Although the palace security force had always been quite protective, they were sworn to protect the monarchy. Zach wasn't sworn to protect anyone. He just did it.

“Do you think this is a good place to raise a child?” he asked.

She nodded slowly. “Yes, for the most part. As much as I have felt suffocated by my duties during the last several years, I would, however, like my child to be familiar with my country and family. I think the sense of history from both the mother and father is important.”

“So you would want to visit Chantaine?” he said.

“I'm still figuring it out, but yes, I think so. If my brother allows it,” she added.

“Allows it?” he echoed in displeasure. “How in hell could he disallow it? You're a princess. What could he do to you?”

“He's the ruling monarch. He could strip me of my title if he wanted,” she said. “Stefan is very angry and although I know he loves and respects me, he doesn't understand my actions. He doesn't understand how I could turn my back on my duties.”

“What about your own choices? Your own life?” he asked.

She smiled. “You sound like an American. Lots of choices. Not as many when you're born into royalty.”

“Are you afraid of having your title taken away?”

“I'm not so concerned about the title, but the idea of losing all connection with my family hurts me,” she said. “But I have to focus on my child's future. As grateful as I am for all the opportunities I've had, I don't want my child growing up in an environment where obligation is primary. I hope my child will learn to appreciate the rewards of service and I'll do what I can to make that happen. But I do want my child to have more choices.”

He leaned toward her and took her hands in his. “You don't need to be afraid. I would always take care of you whether you have a title or not.”

The expression of dedication on his face turned her heart to butter. “Thank you. That means a lot. When I realized I was pregnant, though, I knew the person I most needed to rely on was myself.”

He shook his head. “But you know you don't need to do this alone.”

“I know,” she said.

“That's part of what I wanted to discuss with you,” he said. “We've touched on the subject before, but I think it's time to take the next step.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a jeweler's box.

Tina gaped at Zach as a sense of unreality fell over her. He opened the jeweler's box to reveal a beautiful diamond ring.

“I'll always be true to you. I'll always take care of you and our child. Through thick and thin, bad and good, I know how to stick with it. I can't think of any greater gift you and
I can give our child than to be married, to be husband and wife. Marry me, Tina.”

Her heart stopped, along with her breath. “You mentioned this before, but…” She stared at the diamond ring and searched his face. Tina had received proposals before. Two, in fact, but she'd known beyond a shadow of a doubt that she couldn't accept them. The very idea of binding herself to either of those men forever had made her physically ill.

Zach, however, was a totally different man. Her feelings for him were totally different. She slept with him every night and she was carrying his child.

“I don't know what to say,” she said. “I didn't expect this. Not today.”

“You're growing,” he said and slid his hand over her belly. “Our baby is growing. You and I know we want each other and we want what's right for our child. Marriages have been built on much more shaky ground than that. It's the right thing to do.”

His last sentence turned Tina cold inside. She'd spent her life doing what she was told because
it was the right thing to do.
The first time she hadn't done the right thing, she'd experienced passion beyond her imagination. She's also gotten pregnant. If anything, she was more determined than ever not to make such a huge decision simply because it was the right thing to do.

She shook her head. “I can't,” she finally managed.

Zach looked at her in surprise. “Why?”

She sighed. “There's got to be more. I need for us to be—” She broke off, feeling self-conscious and vulnerable.

“Be what?” he demanded. “We're lovers. We're committed.”

“We may be lovers,” she said. “But we're not in love.”

He pulled back and a cynical expression crossed his face.
“Even though you're a princess, I never would have tagged you as a woman who believed in fairy tales.”

She frowned at him. “Who says love is a fairy tale? There are plenty of people who find love,” she said. “Look at Keely and Brent.”

“That's rare,” he said. “And just because they feel in love now, doesn't mean it will last.”

“You sound so jaded,” she said. “I wouldn't have expected that of you.”

“It's not jaded. It's just practical,” he said. “If you base decisions on emotion, you'll end up in a big mess.”

“If that's true, then what about that first night we shared together? Do you consider that we're in a big mess?”

“I wouldn't call it a big mess, but it's not optimal.”

She frowned, studying him, trying to figure out where his attitude originated. “Is this about your own marriage? Was your relationship a disappointment? Or did you love her so much you can't love again?”

His eyes turned cold again. “I told you I don't discuss my marriage with anyone. We may as well go back to the house.”

Her stomach twisting in knots, Tina refused to let him see how upset she was. “I agree,” she said.

 

Zach went into Dallas to work the next day. He needed a break from the princess in his ranch. He successfully plunged himself into work until his brother took him out to a bar.

The loud strains of a country rock band played in the background as Zach drank his second Jack and Coke.

Daniel clicked his double shot of bourbon against Zach's glass. “To success,” he said. “All our businesses are doing great.”

“Yeah,” Zach said. “To success. Thanks for staying on top of the in-town biz. I owe you.”

“I'll let you pay me back over time. How are things with the princess?”

“She's okay,” Zach said. He took another swig of his drink. “Just making things difficult. I asked her to marry me.”

Daniel swiveled on his bar stool and stared at Zach. “And?”

“You know she's pregnant. It's the right thing,” Zach said.

“I guess she said no,” Daniel said.

“Pretty much,” Zach said. “She wants to rehash everything that happened with Jenny and the baby.”

Daniel cringed. “Oh. That would suck.”

“You're telling me,” Zach said and took another long swallow from his drink. “Why isn't a proposal, a ring and a commitment forever enough?”

“Women,” Daniel said, shaking his head. “I'll never really understand them. Like I'm trying to take care of—” He broke off abruptly as if he'd thought better of stating his thoughts aloud.

“Take care of what?” Zach asked.

Daniel shook his head. “Nothing that's gonna make any difference.”

“Sounds like a woman,” Zach said.

Daniel looked at him and grinned. “Could be right.”

“Does this have anything to do with the property you're thinking about buying that's close to mine?”

“Don't ask. Don't tell,” Daniel said.

“Whoa,” Zach said, his mind working double time. “I'm trying to think what could possibly draw you back to Logan County.” He paused, searching his memory. “The only thing that comes to mind is Chloe Martin. She has a kid. Not sure what's going on with her husband…”

Daniel's face turned dark. “Like I said, don't ask. Don't tell.”

“Is her husband alive?” Zach asked

“No,” Daniel said. “Next subject.”

Understanding how much pain a woman could cause a man, Zach cut his brother some slack and changed the subject as he'd requested. “I like that singer Trace Adkins. Do you?”

“Yeah,” Daniel said. “I think the man has suffered.”

“Most of us have,” Zach said.

A blonde stepped between them at the bar and smiled at both of them. “How ya doin', boys? Wanna buy me a drink?”

Zach briefly thought of another time in his life when he was free and could hit the sheets with a woman for a night of mindless satisfaction. Even though the woman bared the tops of her breasts and smiled with sensual invitation, he felt nothing.

“Sorry. I could buy you a drink, but that's where it would end,” he said.

“Me too,” Daniel said.

The woman gave a wry smile. “Thanks for being honest. I hope I find someone like you.”

Zach watched her walk away as did Daniel.

“We are in a bad, bad way,” Daniel said.

“Yeah,” Zach said. “It's just plain sad.”

“So how you gonna work it out with the princess?” Daniel asked.

“No idea,” Zach said. “Maybe another Jack and Coke will tell me.”

Daniel laughed. “Good luck with that.”

Zach took a taxi to his Dallas apartment and stripped out of his clothes, then sank onto his bed alone. His brain was swimming. His arms were reaching for Tina.

She'd filled his nights and dreams, making him forget his pain with her body and warmth. Tonight he instinctively
reached for her, but she wasn't there. She'd become more than a warm body to him. She'd warmed his cold soul and heart. But he still couldn't let her in. Letting her in could destroy him. How could he possibly remain strong if he let down his guard to her?

His gut twisted and he felt more empty than ever. Swearing to himself, he wondered how he could keep her without becoming vulnerable….

 

Tina stayed awake until well past midnight. Zach didn't return, she noticed. She slept in the guest bed because she couldn't imagine returning to his bed. She didn't know if he would want her. She didn't know if she could give herself as freely as she had in the past.

She resented Zach's reluctance to discuss his loss with her. At the same time, she understood it. Sometimes loss was private, but she also knew that keeping silent could cause wounds to fester. When her father had died, she was given instructions from palace PR how to properly discuss her grief. The same with her mother, who had died years before.

Be strong,
she'd been told. And Tina had done her best, but now, years later, she wanted and needed a more authentic relationship, one where they didn't hide important things from each other.

 

For the next several weeks, Zach spent most of his time working in Dallas. He called Tina every day to check on her, but their conversations felt stilted. Although she'd focused on helping with the children's hospital charity event, Tina couldn't help feeling cranky about the wide gulf that separated them. He might as well be in Timbuktu.

After finishing another conversation with Zach, Tina returned to the kitchen to continue counting the receipts from the charity event with Hildie and her niece.

Several moments passed while she concentrated on the pile in front of her.

“You're quiet,” Eve said. “Anything wrong?”

Tina sighed. “Nothing more than usual,” she muttered.

Eve widened her eyes. “Then what's the usual? The lunch with a princess event was a huge hit. We made a lot of money.”

She shrugged. “It's not the charity event. It's the useless conversation I have every day with Zachary. Same question, same answer. Done in two minutes. Even after my latest ultrasound showed I'm carrying a girl, he didn't seem to have much to say. If he's going to spend all his time in Dallas, it makes me wonder why I'm staying here.”

“Zachary has always divided his time between the ranch and the businesses in Dallas,” Hildie said. “It's not unusual for him to be gone a month at a time if business is going well. I was surprised he managed to stay here as long as he did when you first arrived. He's usually in town at least one day every two weeks. Often more.”

Tina nodded, but she wasn't at all sure Zachary's motivation didn't stem from their argument the day before he left. “The timing for this trip seems a bit coincidental.”