Rugged and Relentless (44 page)

Her eyes closed as though to imprint the memory forever. Evie fought not to think, not to ruin his admiration by analyzing what it might mean. What the words should mean. But she couldn’t help herself. In a moment, she choked out, “More hefty, more bossy, more difficult … yes, I’m more of a lot of things. And I regret most of them. But I’m less, too, Mr. Creed. I’m less unkind, I’m less quick to judge, and I’m less likely to ignore someone when needed. Trouble is”—she finally trusted herself to open her eyes and almost faltered when she saw the anger in his expression—“others tend to see the more instead of the less. I don’t know how to change it.”

“It’s not your job to change the way others see you.” Jake took a step forward, a step too close, forcing her to back up. “It is your job to see yourself more clearly instead of muddying things up with all your doubts. The way people see you does not matter. The Bible tells us not to judge according to appearance, that man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

“I found the Lord when I was young, Jake.” Evie snapped
her mouth shut when she heard his name slip out then decided to forge ahead. “Here, in Hope Falls, I’m trying to find a man. You heard them as well as I did. They aren’t looking at my heart. They’re looking at my appearance and finding it lacking.”

“Then choose a man who sees all of you, Evie!” When he rumbled her name, her heart beat faster. “One who sees that you’re not bossy so much as protective of your loved ones. You’re not difficult; you challenge others to be their best. And”—he stepped closer, eyes blazing blue fire as though he meant every word—“you’re not round or plump or hefty.”

She held her breath as he reached one calloused hand to tuck a soggy strand of hair behind her ear.

“You’re soft and sweet.” With that, he bent a breath away, sliding his forefinger lower to lift her chin.

My first kiss
. Evie almost forgot to breathe. Forgot her anger at the men in this town and her distress over the one before her. In fact, she forgot everything but the one thought thrumming through her mind until it squeaked past her lips before he reached them.

“You.” She swallowed. “I choose you.”

He froze, hand still sending warmth from her chin down her throat. Jake’s gaze searched hers, asking whether or not she was serious. A deep breath lifted his shoulders, his voice the lowest she’d ever heard as he responded to the single most important declaration she’d ever made. “What?”

Back to the monosyllabic replies
. Evie fought the urge to scowl. After all, she’d just accepted a man’s unspoken proposal. A man didn’t want his new fiancée glowering at him. That would tarnish the memory of the day she agreed to make him the happiest man on earth or some such twaddle. So she smiled.

Which may have been a mistake, because he reached up to trace her lower lip with the rough pad of his thumb.

And her thoughts stuttered.
Oh my
…

     THIRTY-TWO     

M
ine
. Something primal roared its satisfaction as Jake waited for Evie to repeat what she’d said. Now wasn’t the time for any misunderstandings or strange twists of feminine logic to rob him of what she’d just promised.
No. Now is the time for her to be sure she knows what it means to choose me. To be
mine.

He felt her swallow, though his gaze remained fixed on the progress of his thumb teasing its way back and forth across the softness of her lower lip. Soon, he’d press his own lips there.

But until then, he kept his hand as a barrier, so he wouldn’t rush things. Because Jake suddenly knew one thing with a certainty he’d never felt before.
Once I kiss her, there’s no going back
.

“I said I choose you, Jake Creed.” Evie’s affirmation doused the fire in a flash. “I’ll be Mrs. Creed, your wife.”

“Evie.” He dropped his hand as though it turned to lead, his chest tight with the sudden realization. “You can’t be Mrs. Creed.”
How do I explain what I’ve done, and how can I make you accept that I’m the same man you trust, when I’ve deceived you?

“What?” She stumbled, her back pressing against an unyielding ponderosa pine as she tried to scramble around it. Away from him. “I thought … I didn’t … I must have misunderstood.”

Desperate to evade him, she tripped over a rock and would have fallen if he hadn’t caught and steadied her. But Evie, who’d leaned into his embrace moments before, proclaiming her willingness to become his wife, fought him like a wild thing.

“Stop!” He planted his palms against the trunk of the tree on either side of her, pinning her in place. “You’ll hurt yourself if you take off again, and I won’t allow it, Evie.”

“Miss Thompson, to you.” Her hiss told of battered pride; the redness returning to her nose tattled of something far worse. “And it doesn’t matter what you will or won’t allow, Mr. Creed. You have no say over me or over what goes on in this town. I’m sorry I mistook your kind words for personal interest, but I assure you I won’t do so again. Now. Let. Me. Go.”

Never
. “No.” He straightened to give her more space but kept his arms as they were. “Not until you hear me out, Evie.” Jake wasn’t going to give up the newfound freedom of saying her name aloud. He’d been thinking it for far too long to lose it.

“There’s nothing to hear. If you want Lacey or Naomi, that’s between you and them. For me, I’ll go back to the diner.” She shoved at one of his arms, her tiny hands covered by the sleeves of his coat. Evie’s effort couldn’t even bend his elbow.

“There’s plenty to hear. And no matter how much you don’t want to listen and I don’t want to tell it, we’re both going to do our part in this conversation.” He made a sound low in his throat when she tried to duck under one of his arms. “Try that again, and I’ll step close to keep you in line until I finish talking.”
Go on
, his gaze challenged her.
Try it. I’ll like it
.

“A gentleman doesn’t trap a lady against a tree, Mr. Creed.” Her scowl could have sizzled the morning bacon.

“Most likely not, but I never claimed to be a gentleman.” Jake took a deep breath. “More important, I’m not Mr. Creed.”

“Yes, you are.” The fierceness of her denial touched him. Evie shook her head as though rejecting the very notion he could be anyone or anything other than she believed—and she believed
he was the type of man who deserved a woman like her.

Which made him, supposedly, the best kind of man.

“No, I’m not. My first name is Jacob, but Creed isn’t my real surname, Evie. I left my family earlier this year and adopted the name, but I couldn’t tell you or anyone else here.” Silently, he willed her to understand, to decide that the name didn’t matter so long as the man behind it remained the same.

“So …” She looked him up and down as though surveying an unknown insect and finding it both creative and faintly repulsive. The sort of thing that might well need squashing, but she hadn’t decided yet. “Not Creed? May I ask why you chose that particular name? To be honest, I never thought it suited you.”

“You never thought it suited me?” Unaccountably insulted, Jake looked down at himself then at her to demand, “Why not?”

“I never could put my finger on it. The same way Dodger’s clothes are too big for him, the name Creed feels too small for you.” She shrugged. “The only way I remember names is by how people break them in. A good name gets worn like a favorite shawl or pair of boots, until you almost can’t imagine the person without it. Most folks grow into their names that way. You’re one of the few I couldn’t reconcile. Now I know why.”

“Is there anyone else whose name doesn’t fit?” He leaned closer, urgent now. “Think, Evie. It’s important.”

“Step back, whoever-you-are.” Ice frosted her tone. “I don’t know your name, and I don’t know you. You have until the count of ten before I begin screaming fit to bring the forest down and all of Hope Falls running to find the commotion.”

“Jacob Granger. I’m Jake Granger.” He hastily offered what should have been the first thing he told her. “Ask Braden, McCreedy, or Lawson if you need to verify the truth of it.”

“Lies.” She all but spat the word. “All lies. You said you couldn’t tell anyone in town, but you told
Braden
your name?”

“Not initially. Only when we decided to bring McCreedy and Lawson into town for your protection. Those two worked with
me for years and know me under my real name, but they keep it to themselves and will continue to do so.” Jake could have kicked himself for forgetting about Braden. “I wouldn’t have told anyone at all if it wasn’t for the fact that keeping you safe outweighed the risk of ruining my cover.”

“You tell me not to concern myself with appearances, but everything you’ve done, everything you’ve been since the moment you stepped foot in town, was lies! You said look at actions, not what I heard, but do you know what?” She started shoving at his arm again. “Words count. What you say has to match what you do, and you’ve said one thing and done another.”

“Try to understand the reasons, Evie.” Her accusation sliced through him—too true to ignore.
Lies aren’t just something we say. They’re something we do to others
. He looked down at the woman still pushing fruitlessly at his arm, wondering if he might have lost her.
And ourselves
.

“I don’t trust that you need a false name. I don’t trust you brought McCreedy and Lawson to keep us safe. And I can’t believe I was foolish enough to believe everything you said about me being more than most women and thinking you came here looking for a wife! You never saw me as more than an obstacle to some sort of grand, secret plan and I don’t—”

No. I won’t lose her
. He swallowed a laugh as her eyes crossed, trying to track the finger he placed over her nose to stop her from speaking. “You’re going to be thoroughly kissed if you don’t stop spluttering and start listening, Evie. That’s a promise.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” Slightly muffled, she blinked to gather herself and glare again.

“I would. In fact”—he lowered his voice to a whisper—“after you’re finished listening, you still might be thoroughly kissed. But that’s only with your permission, so listen.”

“Either way, you’ll be thoroughly slapped. And that’s a promise.” She poked him in the chest, but Jake noticed she wasn’t sidling away. Or slapping him, which showed potential.

“You never fail to surprise me, Evie Thompson.” He gave in to the grin. “When I told you I’d taken a false name, the last thing I expected was for you to tell me I chose poorly.”

“Well, you did,” she defended. “And I called you a liar. And threatened to scream and have promised to slap you at some point in the future when I’m still furious but not so curious.”

Curiosity, Evie decided abruptly, could be a curse. Because, really, any sensible woman when faced with a situation like this would—
Be honest, Evie. No sensible woman would be faced with a situation like this. How is it you just accepted a proposal never made by a man who never existed and stand trapped in the forest with a proverbial stranger about to spin his life’s tale? After threatening to kiss you senseless, no less?
She gave up an inner struggle to pretend nonchalance. Especially
after he threatened to kiss you senseless
.