Ruined (15 page)

My cell phone rings and I look down to see that it's Reed. Why is he calling me today?

"Hello?"

"Willow. Thank God I found you," he says. He sounds frantic.

"Reed, what's wrong?"

"It's my brother, Evan."

"Is he okay?"

"No. Listen, there's no easy way to say this, but he tried to commit suicide last night. I have to go be with him. Find him the help he needs...."

"Of course! Oh, God, I'm so sorry, Reed..." I want to hug him, hold him, help him get through this. Why do I have these conflicting feelings for him? Ugh.

"I need you to run the station."

"Me? But I don't know how to..."

"Willow, you know plenty. Give yourself credit. You're amazing." The softness of his voice makes my stomach tumble into a flurry of butterflies. "I trust you." And that does it.  He trusts me. Wow.

"That means a lot to me, Reed," I whisper. "I'm going to be gone all day, but I will be at the station bright and early tomorrow. Okay?"

"Thanks."

"And, Reed? Please keep me posted."

"I will," he says, and I think I hear his voice break before he hangs up.

I click my cell phone off and stare at my lap for a minute.

"Everything okay?"

"Not really. Reed's brother attempted suicide last night. He's heading to Atlanta to get him some help. I have to run the station while he's gone."

"Wow. Sorry to hear that. He seems like a nice guy."

"Reed? Yes, he is." I feel my face flushing, and thoughts of our kiss come rushing back.

"Is something going on between you two?" he asks.

"No. Well, something did happen the night I met you on the beach, but things went bad quickly."

"You had sex?" he whispers so our driver can't hear.

"No! I already told you that we kissed."

"Relax, I was just asking. I wasn't sure if the kiss went further," he says with a chuckle.

"I'm not a slut, Kellan."

"I know that."

"We kissed, and then I ran away."

"You normally kiss and run?"

"I don't normally kiss anyone period."

"And why is that? Your deep, dark secret?" he says in a low growl.

"It's not funny."

"No, it's definitely not. You know what's even less funny? A beautiful woman who has walled herself off because of some past mistake. It can't be as bad as my mistake Willow, and you're not in a real prison. You can break free. Take the shackles off and live your life. It's like you think you don't deserve to live a good life."

"I don't."

He doesn't say anything else, and instead he puts his arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer. I lay my head down again and try to figure out what I want. To be alone? Reed? Or what if what I want is sitting right next to me? How is that even possible?

We ride in silence until we approach a long driveway about an hour inland. I can feel Kellan tensing up, and he takes in a deep breath. His jaw clenches, and I wonder what's going through his mind.

"I'll wait here," I offer.

"No. I need you there," he says as he pulls my hand. Why does he need me so badly? He doesn't really know me. But if I can help someone else, I will.

"Okay." He instructs the cab driver to wait and lets him know that he'll pay him for his time. Makes me wonder if Bruce gave him money or he swiped it.

He continues holding my hand until we reach the front door and then drops it to ring the bell. He looks straight ahead as if he's facing down a enemy. Finally, the door clicks open and a man is standing there. His face finally registers who Kellan is and his eyes open wide.

"Kellan?" he whispers as if the air has been vacuumed out of his lungs.

"Bill," Kellan says softly. Bill walks forward, and for a moment I think he might punch or strangle Kellan, but instead he embraces him tightly. Kellan's arms hang by his side for a moment before he grabs the man tightly.

I stand there quietly until they finally separate, and Kellan introduces me.

"Come in. Come in," Bill says, his voice shaking as he allows us inside. "When did you get home?"

"Just a couple of weeks ago."

"Why didn't you come sooner? Or write us?"

"Bill, I just couldn't face you. Or Jake." We sit on the sofa, and Kellan inches as close to me as he can as if he needs something stable to connect to. I allow him that.

"We love you, Kellan. You were like my own son, and Jake was like your brother. He was hurt when you never got in touch."

"In all fairness, did either of you come to see Kellan in prison?" I ask pointedly. Kellan shoots me an angry look. "Sorry."

"No, it's a good question, but only Kellan can answer it." I look at him, and he bites his lips.

"I blocked their contact, Willow. I couldn't handle it. Emotion in prison will get you killed, and I couldn't risk it. I'm sorry, Bill. To you and Jake." Kellan looks around as if he's looking for his friend.

"Jake isn't here," Bill says. "He's competing today."

Kellan and I look at each other. "Competing?" we both say simultaneously.

"Jake competes in races with other paraplegics. He's top in his division, in fact. I'm very proud of him."

"So am I," Kellan says with a smile. "I couldn't get him to run for anything in high school." Bill and Kellan laugh.

"No, he was pretty damn lazy in high school, Kellan," Bill says with a hearty chuckle. His white beard and red cheeks momentarily make me think of Santa Claus.

"Who's lazy?" a female voice asks from the kitchen. A young woman, about Kellan's age, comes out. She's beautiful with dark black hair and brown eyes. I feel an immediate pang of jealousy. I wish I was so exotic and sexy.

"Your fiance," Bill says as he stands up. "Kel, this is Jake's fiancee, Bria." Kellan's mouth drops open.

"Fiancee?" he says as he shakes her hand.

"As of six months ago. We're getting married at Christmas," she says with a smile. I reach up and shake her hand, telling her my name and secretly wishing I had an ounce of her sex appeal.

"Wow. Looks like Jake has done well for himself," Kellan says. Again, jealousy rears its ugly head and I wonder why. If that's what Kellan finds attractive, I could never measure up to that. Wait. What? I'm not trying to attract Kellan. Am I?

There's something about the way that Kellen interacts with Bill. It seems to be more of a father and son relationship than he has with Bruce, and that makes me a bit sad. He's such a tough guy on the outside, but I can see that he's a totally different person around Bill and probably Jake too. I wonder how Jake will react to him when he sees him.

Bill explains that Jake will be back within the hour and that he's been competing all morning. He gives some background on what Jake has been doing for the last few years, and his girlfriend talks a lot about how they got together. Apparently, Bria worked in the office where Jake got physical therapy after the accident. They became friends, and it progressed over the years until they fell in love. They all seem so normal and welcoming of the man who was driving the car that changed Jake's life forever.

The crazy thing is that no one seems upset or sad. They all seem like they've moved on with life without a problem. I'm sure that's not the case, and I know there have to be struggles, but I wonder if Jake is going to be as resentful of Kellan as he fears.

We have some coffee, and Kellan allows the cab driver to go. He says he'll call him back later, and Bill offers to drive us home if he needs to. They obviously expect us to stay a while, and that's okay with me since I don't have anywhere to be until morning.

When we hear the door click open, I can feel Kellan tense up. We all know that Jake is about to roll into the room, and Kellan seems completely unsure of how he'll react. After all, he hasn't seen or heard from Kellan in five years and he was blocked from being in contact.

Jake rolls around the corner, probably fully expecting to see his father and fiancee, and his eyes get wide when he sees Kellan. He doesn't say anything or crack a smile, but he doesn't look angry either. He just looks shocked. Similar to the way his father looked when he opened the door and found us standing on his front stoop.

"Hey, Jake," Kellan says as he slowly walks towards Jake and then stops about five feet in front of him. Jake continues to stare at him in shock as if he's having a hard time processing the man standing in his living room.

"Kellan?" Kellan nods to affirm that he is there in the flesh.

"Yes. It's me. I got out a couple of weeks ago. It's good to see you, man." I can tell that Kellan is searching for the right words to say, and I would be too. I'm not sure I have the courage to do what he's doing right now.

"It's good to see you too," Jake says. I hear Kellan sigh audibly as if he's relieved at Jake's response.

"I'm glad to hear that. I was a little worried about coming here."

"Come on, Bria. Why don't you help me out in the garden for a few minutes?" Bill says knowing that he needs to give the men some time alone.

"I should go too," I say as Kellan reaches out and grabs my arm and shakes his head. I can tell that he wants me to stay with him for comfort and stability, so I walk to the other side of the room and sit down.

Jake follows me with his eyes as if he's wondering who I am, but they have much more important business to attend to than me. I just want to be a fly on the wall not interfering in any way.

"Kellan, I don't understand."

"You don't understand what?"

"Why would you block me from contacting you for five years and then just show up in my living room without telling me? I thought we were done, that you never wanted to see me again."

"I just couldn't do it, Jake. You were my best friend in the world, and I let you down in the worst way. There was no way that I could face all of the emotions while I was in prison. It would've made me a target, and I knew that I couldn't read letters from you or take phone calls from you or visit with you without getting overly emotional."

Jake nods as if he understands and then cuts his eyes over to me. "Who is this?"

Kellan smiles and waves me over. "This is actually my new stepsister, although it kind of creeps me out to call her that since we only just met. So let's just call her my new friend," Kellan says winking at Jake. What the heck did that mean?

Jake smiles as if he knows that we don't have a stepbrother/stepsister type of bond. I don't know what we have just yet, and maybe we will grow into friends or even something else, but right now I don't know what to call what we're doing.

"Nice to meet you," I say. I reach out and shake Jake's hand and I'm struck at how incredibly strong he is. I imagine pushing his wheelchair around in races has built up some pretty massive biceps under that T-shirt.

He's a good-looking guy, almost as good-looking as Kellan. He has dirty blond hair and brown eyes, and he's tan from being outside so much. If I saw him sitting at a table, I would have no idea that he's in a wheelchair. He seems strong and confident and completely unaffected by the fact that he's sitting in a wheelchair without the use of his legs. I know that can't be the case, but he certainly doesn't seem to be limited in any way.