Ruined #4 (The MC Motorcycle Club Romance Series - Book #4) (2 page)

“I can’t do that, Mom.”

“Okay, you’re a grown man and I can’t force you to
do what I want. I can’t give you money for this business though if I don’t
believe you’ll have your head in it a hundred percent.”

“Are you serious? What is this, blackmail?”

“No, it’s just what I said. You’re asking me for a
lot of money to start a business. I have to see that you’re serious about
making that business a success. I can’t see you having the time and the heart
to do that if you’re still busy with all of this other nonsense.”

I was beginning to see as an adult how my mother was
able to handle my dad all of those years.

“I feel like I’d be saying it was okay that they
screwed up my life if I walk away now.”

“Then win by showing them they didn’t screw your
life up, Dax. Open your shop, make it a success. Success is a fabulous fuck you
to everyone who tried to hold you back.”

My mother never said the “F” word. I usually tried
not to say it around her because she’d yell,
“Dax! Language!”
when I did. I guess she was trying to show me how
serious she was. I needed her to help me or it would be years before I could
earn the kind of money I needed to start this business and that was only if I
could convince someone to give me a job in the first place. I knew she was
right. I knew Olivia was right…I wasn’t going to drop this though until the Son
of a Bitch who put me in prison and took everything from me had to look me in
the eye and admit what he had done. So, I did what any bad son would do…I
looked my mother directly in the eye and lied.

“Okay,” I said with a sigh. The sigh was to cover my
guilty facial expression. “I’ll stop. I need to get on with my life and if
that’s what I have to do then so be it.”

My mother’s face relaxed, a little bit. I knew she
thought that was too easy though and she proved it by saying, “You promise?”

“I promise,” I lied again. Sometimes I despised
myself.

CHAPTER
THREE

OLIVIA

The day after Terrance came by I drove over to the
bar to see Dax. I knew it wasn’t a good idea for me to see him. The more time I
spent looking at him, the less resolve I’d have to continue staying away from
him. I didn’t want to call him and tell him what Terrance said over the phone.
All of this shit was making me paranoid. It was also making me an insomniac.
Everything Terrance had said and the scary way he had said it kept running over
and over in my head. Every time I tried to close my eyes, I would hear him say
Dax was going to “end up dead.” I was a mess when he went to prison. I could
barely function. I didn’t think I could take it if he died…if he was murdered.
The only positive was that Bull was still their leader and if they killed his
son, they would have some serious consequences to pay. Even I knew that, so
that was what I tried to use to keep myself calm.

When I got to the bar there were about eight of the
guys and some of their groupies hanging out. I glanced around, but I didn’t see
Dax and I was secretly glad. I knew it wasn’t any of my business anymore, but I
really hated the thought of him being with one of those trashy girls. I saw
Cookie behind the bar. He looked like he was training a couple of the skanky
girls how to mix drinks. It wasn’t a hard job in a bar like this. It wasn’t
like people went in there and ordered a white wine spritzer or a Cosmopolitan.

“Hey Cookie!”

“Hola Livia! Como Estas?” I couldn’t for the life of
me figure out why a guy like Cookie with skills to support himself and the good
sense not to be a criminal, chose to hang around this place. There was no way
he didn’t know what went on behind the scenes.

“I’m good, Cookie, thank you. Have you seen Dax?”

“Yes, he’s in the back. In his room, I think.”

“Thanks Cookie,” I told him.

I got a few interesting looks from the groupies as I
walked towards the back. I could always tell when I was around that they felt a
little threatened by the fact that I came and went through the back. The back
was where they wanted to be. Most of them didn’t even care which one of the old
smelly bikers took them back there. They wanted to be old ladies. If they could
get a young, good-looking one, that would be great. If not, they’d take what
they could get. I didn’t think they’d be so envious of me if they knew I had no
desire whatsoever to be an Old Lady and I hated that place with a growing
passion. Each day that passed, I came to resent that place even more, as if it
was the building that was evil rather than its inhabitants.

I hesitated in front of the brand new door that Dax
must have put on the bedroom after Terrance kicked the other one down. I
shuddered at the memory. When he was in the store, I couldn’t even look at him
without seeing the maniac he was the night he’d broken in and shoved a gun in
my face. I didn’t know if it was that thought or seeing Dax, but my hand was
shaking as I lifted it to knock. Within seconds, a shirtless Dax pulled it
open. He looked shocked to see me. I tried to keep my eyes trained on his face
and not the ripped muscles right in front of me.

“Hi, do you have a minute?” I asked him. He stepped
back so I could go in and then he closed the door, locked it and turned to look
at me.

“What’s up?” he asked.

“I need to talk to you for a few minutes…”

“Oh? I got the feeling when I came to beg you to
come back yesterday you had said all you’re going to say on the subject. You
said that, I believe…I have nothing more to say to you.”

I knew he was hurt and when Dax was hurting, he
lashed out. I tried not to take it too personally, but my emotions were all
over the place lately.

I took another deep breath and then I said, “Terrace
came by my uncle’s shop yesterday. At first, he acted like nothing happened and
he was just stopping by to chat. Then he got all creepy and said that he wanted
me to give you a message.”

“Terrance left a message with you, for me?”

The look on his face said that pissed him off too. I
had heard the mumbles about Terrance being a chicken shit. It was these types
of things that gave him that reputation. A real man would have gone and talked
to Dax about it himself.

“Yes,” I said. “He tried to sound tough about it
too. He said to back off with this revenge thing. He said he doesn’t want you
to get hurt…or killed.”

“He used those exact words? Hurt or killed?” I
nodded and he said, “Did he say who might be the one who would want to hurt or
kill me? He wasn’t insinuating that it would be him, was he?”

“No, he made it clear that he was only telling me
because he was worried for you. He didn’t say who would be the one to hurt or
kill you.
 
But he did say something about
his dad being someone that no one wants to mess with and that you shouldn’t
mess with him either.”

“Hmm, I wonder what Blake has to do with all of
this.” He sounded like he was thinking out loud and not really talking to me.
He was quiet for a second and then he looked at me and asked, “What else did he
say? He didn’t threaten you in any way did he?”

“No, he didn’t threaten me. Not to hurt me anyways.
He said if I didn’t tell you all of this and something happened to you that I
would have blood on my hands. It’s all so ominous, like an episode of the
Sopranos. That was about all he said though. I tried to get more information
out of him about his dad and what the deal was there, but he wasn’t giving me
any. He said he did what he had to do when it came to setting you up, but he
didn’t want to see you die. He gave me some sob story about not choosing this
life.”

“Maybe that was the point of all of this,” Dax said,
looking thoughtful. “Maybe he’s just trying to get you back and thinks
pretending to help me will help him get back in your good graces.”

“Dax, I saw his face. He wasn’t kidding and it was
really about you this time and not me. Please take this seriously.”

“It’s a way out,” he said.

“What? What’s a way out?”

“If they killed me, at least I’d be out of here once
and for all. They just don’t seem to want to do it otherwise.”

“Oh my God, Dax! Don’t say that! Don’t ever say
that!” I was shaking all over. I felt like I was going to have an anxiety
attack just thinking about something happening to him. “I would die if that
happened. I would curl up in a corner somewhere and die, Dax. I can’t even
stand thinking about it, or you talking about it. Why are you smiling? None of
this is funny!”

“Calm down, I’m only kidding.” I couldn’t understand
how he could kid about dying. Sometimes I wondered if he was as twisted as the
rest of them. I didn’t think any of this was remotely funny. I was so
frustrated that I wanted to hit something, so I did. I punched him in the arm
and then I completely lost it. I started wailing on him. Tears began pouring
down my face as I pelted his chest and arms with my fists. His body was so hard
that it hurt me a lot worse than it did him, but I felt like I had finally lost
my mind. I couldn’t stop.

I kept screaming at him while I punched him, “You
think this is funny! It’s not funny! I would die too if anything ever happened
to you! Damn you!” I continued pelting him.

I was actually relieved when Dax finally took my
wrists in his hands and held them so I would stop. He got close to my face and
said, “Breathe. Just breathe.”

I was still trying to fight him, not even aware of
myself at this point. He wrapped me up in his big arms and pulled me against
his chest. He sat down with me on the bed and held me while I continued to cry.
My loud wails died down into sobs and the sobs turned into gasps for breath.
Then I’d think about him dying again and the cycle would start all over.

The whole time, he rocked me back and forth in his
strong arms and said, “Shhh, it’s going to be okay, Liv. Everything’s going to
be okay.”

His reassurances were sweet and I loved him for it,
but him being sweet and me knowing that I couldn’t stay with him if he was
going to continue to live this way would make me suddenly start crying all over
again. When I finally stopped, the front of his chest was soaked and my whole
head was full of snot.

He kissed me on top of the head and said, “I’ll be
right back.”

He went into the bathroom and when he came back, he
had a box of tissues. He handed it to me and then bent down to open the mini
fridge. He pulled out a bottle of water and handed that to me too. I blew my
nose and took a drink of the water. He sat back down next to me and put his arm
around me.

He surprised me by saying, “My mom’s going to loan
me the money to open my tattoo shop. I promised her that I’d move forward with
my life and drop this quest for revenge as she puts it.”

I looked up at him with surprised eyes. I wondered
why he didn’t just tell me that in the first place instead of putting us both
through all of this.

I finally found my voice and said, “Were you serious
when you promised her that?” He leaned down and kissed my lips. I pulled back
and said, “Answer me, Dax. Did you mean that?”

“Yes,” he said. “It’s tearing you and her up. I
don’t want to do this to you. I don’t like seeing you like this. I’ll stop.”

I can’t even begin to describe the gamut of emotions
that tore through my body at that moment. I was relieved and happy mostly, but
I was still suspicious as to why he didn’t just tell me that in the first
place.

“Why did you let me get so worked up?” I asked.

“I’m sorry, we were talking about what Terrance said
and I hadn’t had a chance to tell you yet. Then I made a horrible joke and
upset you. I’m sorry, Olivia. I’m sorry that I put you and my mother through
all of this. I don’t want to see you that way again and I don’t want either of
you to have to worry about me any longer.”

I stared at him, unsure of where to go from there.
Unsure of whether or not he was being serious.

“Promise me, Dax,” I said, finally.

“I promise,” he said. That was what I needed to
hear. He wouldn’t break a promise. I threw my arms around his neck and I began
giving him kisses all over his face.

“Thank you. Thank you.”

He kissed me again and then he scooted back on the
bed so that his back was against the headboard. He still had his arm around me
and he pulled me up to where I could lay my head on his chest. I closed my eyes
and let myself imagine Dax and I having another chance, a chance at a life that
was not filled with drama and danger. I was tired from being so emotional and
from beating on him the way I did. I eventually fell asleep and he held me all
night.

CHAPTER
FOUR

DAX

I slept off and on throughout the night. I’d wake up
every so often to check on Liv and make sure she was okay. I felt really bad
about making her so afraid and so emotional. I also felt really bad about
lying. I wasn’t going to change my mind about this. Some things need to be
resolved in life before you’re able to move forward and this was one of them.
My mom and Olivia were both going to be angry when they found out I’d lied to
them. But then it would be over and I would be safe. They’d be able to see that
I was right. They might stay mad for a little while, but not forever, right?