Rules of the Ride: A Silver Star Ranch Novel (5 page)

M
y fucking name
is inked on her skin. It wasn’t just my name, but the size of it and the font that got me. I had no idea she was showering when I barged into the bathroom. The first glimpse of her naked in my shower, tearing up, was quite the surprise, but then my gaze fell on her fucking tattoo covering her complete ribcage.

I had to leave the bathroom before I shook her like a fucking ragdoll. Frustration doesn’t even begin to describe my feelings with her. She wants me and loves me but fucking left me for years. It’s the same girl who didn’t even come home when her momma was dying. For fuck’s sake, she couldn’t even pick out a damn casket for the woman who birthed and raised her.

I slam my truck into park at the bar and don’t even think twice before going in. Typically when I’m in a mood like this I drink at home, but I had to run from home tonight. I have three shots down before my racing mind even calms a bit. The bar is hopping with lots of excitement, loud music, and plenty of eye candy.

“You better slow down, Maverik. The night is young and lots of ladies are staring in your direction.”

“Three more damn rounds fucking now.” My words are already slurring, and it’s the best feeling. I need to be numb and have every fucking single one of my emotions ripped from body.

I should’ve fucked her in my bed instead of answering that damn phone call. Instead, I answered a call from the county jail. It was my dad asking for bail money. Guess he landed his ass there, somehow.

I slam the next three shots and grab two beers, one for each hand before I sit down at a table in the corner. Maybe I need to fuck Ella out of my system. I know kissing and rubbing on her has done nothing but fucking damage me, so maybe I need to fuck her right out of my system.

I begin scanning the room for the perfect chick to get it on with, and it doesn’t take long until my eyes land on the perfect one. She even has long blonde hair like Ella’s. Not as pretty. Ella has her beat in every single department. I try to psych myself up and get a bit aroused as I stare down the blonde, but nothing happens. When I try to stand up to make my way to her, I spill my beer and then let out a long line of fucks.

My bottle slips from my hand as I lurch forward, and I barely make out the shape of the brown glass flying into the back of someone’s head. The world stands still for a minute as I watch it shatter into pieces, and then all hell breaks loose and I’m at the center of it all.

“You motherfucker.”

The next thing I know, bodies cover mine as arms and fists fly in every which direction. I hear screams and then feel someone try to break it up. I do no fighting back and act only as a punching bag. I try to bring my hands to my face, but everything is rubber and not working.

Bright blonde hair fills my vision as the sound is slowly muted.

“I was just coming to talk to you to see if you wanted to fuck.” My words make sense to me, but my mouth feels swollen and I know I’m slurring them. I try to talk again, making each word clearer.

“I need to fuck a girl out of my head, and you’d be perfect.”

“Maverik, get up. They’re calling the cops.”

“So that’s a yes.” I laugh at my own joke.

“Get up.”

The blonde helps me to my feet and must be just as eager as me to fuck, as she leads me out of the bar.

“How did you know this is my truck?”

She dabs a napkin at the cuts on my face and fusses over the blood dripping from my chin.

“D’jou know I used to ride wild ponies before my girl ran out on me and I gots all busted up?”

Her hands dart in the pockets of my jeans.

“Damn, blondie, no talking before we get down to it?” I throw a hand over her shoulder but have to lean back against my truck. “Mind if I call you Ella? Need a good fuck to get her out of my mind.”

“Merek.”

“Hey, that’s my phone.” I try to swat my phone from the blonde’s hand as she talks in it. When my eyes focus in, I nearly laugh realizing how similar that blonde looks to Ella.

“Please hurry. He’s a mess.” She hangs up my phone.

“You even sound like her. You know, I love her.” I slide down the side of my truck until my ass hits the gravel. “I don’t think I’ll make it losing her a second time.”

Before everything goes black, I see Ella standing in front of me and know I’m fucked, because now my brain’s not even going to let her go.

Ella

Maverik finally passes out cold, and I slide down next to him and let him lean on my shoulder so his face doesn’t slam into the gravel of the parking lot. I was going in for a drink before retreating to my motel room, and that’s when I saw Maverik in the middle of a shit storm.

I’ve never seen him this wasted. He didn’t even recognize me, and it was clear he had been hitting on another blonde to lose himself in. I turn slightly and cup his battered face in my hands. He’s going to hurt in the morning and will be lucky if he can even open his left eye.

“This is all my fault, Maverik. What have I done to you?” My thumb circles on his cheek. “I love you so much. I had to leave town so many years ago because of reasons out of my control. I wish I could just tell you, but I can’t.”

I drop my forehead to his and feel the lowest I’ve ever felt in my life. That one night so many years ago ruined so many lives, and I let it all happen.

“Ella?”

I turn to see a female figure standing before me in the dark.

“Yeah.”

“I’m Challis, Merek’s wife. He’s inside settling whatever Maverik got into and then will be right out.”

“Okay.” I nod, nervous she heard too much.

“I’ll go pull the truck up to load the huge lug.”

“Thank you.”

“Hey, Ella.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry about all of this and your mom. Just know this has been hell on Maverik too.”

I drop my head to bury my face, even though the dark is masking it enough. “I should’ve never come back to town.”

“I’m going to kick his damn ass.” The sound of stomping and gravel being kicked up takes over the awkward conversation.

Two dark figures stand before me, and even in the middle of night, I recognize Maverik’s two younger brothers, Marvel and Merek.

“Ella.” Merek nods in my direction as Marvel extends his hand to help me up from the gravel.

“I, uh, I.” My voice is shakier than it has been these last few days home, as I feel like the biggest asshole in front of Maverik’s brothers. There’s one thing about the Slatter brothers, and that fact is they protect each other at all costs.

“Ella, knock it off.” Merek cuts me off. “You’re fine.”

Marvel pulls me up and I do my best to keep Maverik balanced up right as I’m lifted to my feet.

“I should’ve never come home. I’m sorry. I’m just so fucking sorry. As soon as my mother is buried, I’ll be gone.”

I don’t wait for a reaction as I sprint from the parking lot, darting across the road back to my motel. A startling horn honks, and when I look up, I realize that I darted right out in front of a car. My head can’t hit the pillow fast enough.

The musty smell and buzzing lights flooding the tiny room don’t faze me a bit. I reach for the orange bottle of painkillers and take a handful of them while silently thanking my best friend back at home for giving them to me. She knew I’d need them to survive this trip. Maverik’s young face flashes before me, then his older more handsome features do, but before I pass out, I see the Maverik who is in pain and living in hell because of me.

“
W
ake up
.” Freezing water splashes in my face and then there’s a kick to the right side of my ribs. The pain ripping through my head is too much to take. I roll over and clench my eyes shut, gripping for my head.

“Maverik Maddox Slatter, get your ass up now.”

Granddad’s voice rings clear in my throbbing head, and I do everything I can to muster enough energy to sit up against a hay bale. I pull down my straw hat and grumble back at him.

“What in the hell are you doing, son?”

He waits for me to answer but only a few more painful moans escape.

“I’ve watched you destroy your life year by year since Ella left town, and I’m done. She’s back in town and needs support. You going to be a coward or step it up?”

“I love her. I’ve never stopped loving her. I want all of her and can’t control myself around her. It’s just like she walked out of my life yesterday.” I let my hat slide to the ground and grip my temples. “I don’t want her to leave but don’t know how to let myself love her again.”

“Maverik, look at me.”

The silence in the barn is deafening as I pick at the straw coating my jeans. It’s more painful than my throbbing headache and dry mouth.

“Look at me, dammit.”

When I look up, the grief and pain combination covering Granddad’s face is just another dagger to my already wounded heart.

“Then be man enough to give her a chance.” Granddad slowly takes a seat on a bale of hay across from me. “Have you ever flat out asked her why she left?”

“I’m not dumb. She left for the city.”

“There’s your problem, boy, you’re assuming you know all the answers.”

“She basically told me that when I ran into her for a few brief minutes at the rodeo with Challis and Merek.” I do my best to slide up onto the hay bale and sit down, but I don’t miss the shooting pains going off in my head. “She could do nothing but brag about the city life and told me she needed help dodging a date.”

“Dammit, Maverik, you’re not listening to me. You’re assuming everything when it comes to Ella. Now I don’t know why she left, but I do know she loved you just as much as you loved her, and it’s worth finding out.”

I bury my face in the palms of my hands and grunt. I can’t handle any more of Ella and the fucking emotions simmering within me. I want nothing more than to chalk it all up to a pot of bad decisions and move the hell on.

“Can you live the rest of your life without her, Maverik? Will you be okay knowing you let her walk right out of your life this time?”

“No, it killed me the first damn time.” Overwhelming emotions attack my core.

“Then go get her, find out answers, and make a decision from there instead of living in your own personal hell.”

“She left for the city life. I wasn’t enough.”

“Dammit, boy, it’s your choice.”

I watch as he takes his time to stand and hear several of his bones creak and crack as he moves about. I let his message replay over and over in my head as I process the words. When I look back up, Granddad is nearing his front porch and Marvel is by my side in the stable.

“I need help today.”

“I’m here.”

“We need to move some cattle around and help Merek and Challis work the colts. We need to be on them double time from here on out.”

“Okay.” I kick a cloud of dust up in the air, sliding my boot back and forth.

“Saint’s going to be done screwing with us.”

“Saint will never be gone until the day he dies, and then more than likely he’ll leave behind a mini-him. Fuckers like Saint will always be around fucking with the good people.”

“Go change and be ready in twenty minutes. I’ll get your horse ready.”

Marvel storms out the open doors into the sunlight and it’s in this moment I see the Marvel I used to know disappear in front of me. He’s hardened with hatred and stressed beyond belief. Life’s been a bitch to all of us, but I guess the difference between Marvel and myself is that I have the choice to try to fix this shit with Ella, or at least get some unanswered questions resolved.

My tiny bunkhouse is quiet and lonely with lingering memories of sweet Ella gracing it. Just the short time she was here made everything change. I want her here. I want her forever. My heart just has to figure out a way back to her.

I grab my phone and dial the local motel’s number and cringe when I realize I have the number memorized from several nights of inappropriate behavior with strange women. A vicious cycle I used to drown out memories and numb my pain that Ella left me in.

“Wagon Wheel front desk.”

“Um, yeah.” I pause, not really knowing what I want to ask or say.

“Hello? What can I help you with?”

“Ella James’ room please.”

“One moment.”

The phone begins ringing, and I cringe with each ring, still not knowing what I’ll say to her. Ring after ring goes by until it’s cut off.

“Fuck.” I throw down my cell phone, start my coffee pot, and head for the shower.

The cold water stuns every single one of my senses as well as brings my sore muscles to life. Cuts and bruises begin to sting the longer I stand under the spray of water. My hand stops over my chest, right above my heart, and I hear my granddad’s words again, encouraging me to find out the reasons Ella left. I could argue back with well over a dozen reasons not to, but something clicks in my mind.
I’m going for her and not giving up this time.

I race out of the shower, dry off, and throw on my riding clothes. Snagging the hot and very full coffee pot, I dash to Granddad’s porch where he’s sitting and begin speaking before he has a chance to. I feel Jake settle between my legs but don’t even take the time to pat his head.

“You’re right.” I fill his empty black coffee mug and then sit down next to him. “I have to end this hate relationship I have for Ella and accept why she moved.”

“You do.” He nods and takes a long sip from his mug.

“I’m going to need you by my side. I’m afraid she’s going to shatter me again. Fuck. I’ve been shattered for years now.”

“Maverik, I’d rather have a broken boy who can heal than a bitter bastard who’s going to waste away the rest of his life in hatred.”

“I hear you. I do.” My hand finds the top of Jake’s head. “I just don’t think I can let her go if I give in.”

“Then don’t let her go, dammit. We all make mistakes, son. Move on.”

“Let’s go.” I look up to see my brother with my horse saddled and him atop his.

“I’ll do it.” I brave a smile when I turn to Granddad and don’t miss his beaming face. “Thanks, old man. I’ll grab my coffee pot after dinner.”

My boots are deafening as they pound the sidewalk down to the gravel road where my horse stands. With each step, I feel like a coward with the thoughts of what I’m about to let my heart do, but I know it’s the right thing. I fucking love Ella and looks like I have one chance to get her back in my life.

“What was that all about?” Marvel tilts his head to one side.

“Oh, just Granddad making me do the right thing.” I throw a foot up into a stirrup, grip onto the horn of my saddle, and settle down on the back of Chili. I smile knowing Marvel saddled up my favorite horse. He’s been around since my high school days and I used to calf rope and team rope off of him before saddle bronc became too addicting. Ella loved Chili.

I kick him into a slow trot and realize every single thought that passes through my mind always goes back to Ella, even before she came home. Marvel keeps up by my side as we let our horses go at full gait to the back pasture. The crisp air, the sound of pounding hooves, and the smell of the ranch all calm each of my senses, causing me to breathe in deep and exhale.

Merek and Challis’s happy faces flash before my eyes. I see my granddad rocking happily on his porch and Marvel working his fingers to the bone on the ranch he loves. Then I see me on the tailgate of my truck holding a cold beer and petting Jake. The scene immediately makes my stomach turn because it’s not the right ending for me and never has been.

“There they are.” Marvel points over to a herd of black cattle.

I follow behind him as he rides up to them. We begin gathering them up one by one and I watch and listen to old Jake work his heart up gathering the cattle. Several minutes go by before they group together and we begin trailing them back toward the barn and corrals.

I’m going for her. I’m going for her.
I chant over and over in my head as Chili trots behind the herd rhythmically, lulling me back into an Ella induced trance.

M
y bones crack
and my muscles scream as I kick off my work boots. Marvel wasn’t joking around about double time. The four of us worked hard as nine or ten men today gathering cattle and continuing to train the colts. Two geldings are showing real promise to cause havoc on the race track and make Saint a whole shit ton of money.

As tired as I am, I have one last thing I have to do tonight, and that’s go get my girl.