Authors: Anne Laughlin
“What was that about with LJ?” Jan said. Her voice sounded harsh, as if she were accusing them of having an affair.
“He was very excited to tell me that he’s been put in charge until my replacement arrives. I was just going to pack up my things and head to the hotel.”
Catherine seemed very cheery, a dispiriting contrast to her own misery. Didn’t she care that they had to part?
“I won’t keep you then,” Jan said. She tried to keep her tone neutral, but she could hear the sadness in her voice. It didn’t sound very attractive. It sounded needy. How had she gone from someone who pushed people away to one who wanted to attach this woman to her hip? She felt clueless about how to find the middle ground most people seemed to operate in. She was exhausted by her own extremes. Instead of walking out the door as she’d planned, she sat down and motioned for Catherine to sit next to her. Catherine reached for Jan’s hand.
“Talk to me,” Catherine said.
Jan looked up and sideways and then down, finally resting her eyes on Catherine’s “I’m scared.”
“Of what?”
“I’m scared that you’re leaving and I’m scared I’m telling you that it scares me. I’m fucked up.”
Catherine laughed and leaned over to kiss her. “No, you’re beautiful. And the bravest person I know.”
Jan was horrified as a tear started in her eye. Her throat felt under attack as it tried to control an upswell of emotion. She was about to cry and she fought desperately to beat it back. Catherine rubbed her thumb along the top of her hand.
“It would be horrible to leave now with so much left unsaid between us.” Catherine got up and moved to Jan’s lap, holding her head to her breast. “I won’t let that happen.”
“But you don’t have a choice.”
“I quit. That’s my choice.”
Jan moved her head away and looked up at Catherine in shock. “You quit?”
“I just sent the e-mail and I feel absolutely fantastic. Should have done it long ago.”
“You shouldn’t have done that for me.”
“Darling, I did it for me. If there’s one thing I’ve sworn to change in my post-Ellen years, it’s to live my own life, not someone else’s. Not even yours.”
“I don’t know what to think,” Jan said.
Catherine leaned down to kiss her, a slow, gentle, inviting kiss. When their lips parted, she whispered in Jan’s ear. “Come to my hotel. We’ll think it through together.”
“If I come to your hotel, I don’t think we’ll be doing much thinking.”
“Exactly. We have time to figure this out. Let’s just see.”
As they kissed again, Vivian opened the door and stuck her head in. “Christ. Will you two please get a room?”
“We were just about to,” Jan said.
About the Author
Anne Laughlin’s first novel for Bold Strokes Books,
Veritas
, won the 2010 Goldie award in the mystery category. Her short stories have appeared in numerous LGBT anthologies, including
Best Lesbian Romance
(Cleis Press),
Best Lesbian Love Stories
(Alyson Books),
Women of the Mean Streets: Lesbian Noir
, and the Erotic Interludes series (Bold Strokes Books).
In 2008 Anne was named an Emerging Writer Fellow by the Lambda Literary Foundation. She has been accepted into several writing residencies, including Ragdale and Vermont Studio Center.
Anne lives in Chicago.
Books Available from Bold Strokes Books
Night Hunt
by L.L. Raand. When dormant powers ignite, the wolf Were pack is thrown into violent upheaval, and Sylvan’s pregnant mate is at the center of the turmoil. A Midnight Hunters novel. (978-1-60282-647-2)
Demons are Forever
by Kim Baldwin and Xenia Alexiou. Elite Operative Landis “Chase” Coolidge enlists the help of high-class call girl Heather Snyder to track down a kidnapped colleague embroiled in a global black market organ-harvesting ring. (978-1-60282-648-9)
Runaway
by Anne Laughlin. When Jan Roberts is hired to find a teenager who has run away to live with a group of anti-government survivalists, she’s forced to return to the life she escaped when she was a teenager herself. (978-1-60282-649-6)
Street Dreams
by Tama Wise. Tyson Rua has more than his fair share of problems growing up in New Zealand—he’s gay, he’s falling in love, and he’s run afoul of the local hip-hop crew leader just as he’s trying to make it as a graffiti artist. (978-1-60282-650-2)
Women of the Dark Streets: Lesbian Paranormal
edited by Radclyffe and Stacia Seaman. Erotic tales of the supernatural—a world of vampires, werewolves, witches, ghosts, and demons—by the authors of Bold Strokes Books. (978-1-60282-651-9)
Tyger, Tyger, Burning Bright
by Justine Saracen. Love does not conquer all, but when all of Europe is on fire, it’s better than going to hell alone. (978-1-60282-652-6)
Words to Die By
by William Holden. Sixteen answers to the question: What causes a mind to curdle? (978-1-60282-653-3)
Haunting Whispers
by VK Powell. Detective Rae Butler faces two challenges: a serial attacker who targets attractive women, and Audrey Everhart, a compelling woman who knows too much about the case and offers too little—professionally and personally. (978-1-60282-593-2)
Wholehearted
by Ronica Black. When therapist Madison Clark and attorney Grace Hollings are forced together to help Grace’s troubled nephew at Madison’s healing ranch, worlds and hearts collide. (978-1-60282-594-9)
Fugitives of Love
by Lisa Girolami. Artist Sinclair Grady has an unspeakable secret, but the only chance she has for love with gallery owner Brenna Wright is to reveal the secret and face the potentially devastating consequences. (978-1-60282-595-6)
Derrick Steele: Private Dick The Case of the Hollywood Hustler
by Zavo. Derrick Steele, a hard-drinking, lusty private detective, is being framed for the murder of a hustler in downtown Los Angeles. When his best friend Daniel McAllister joins the investigation, their growing attraction might prove to be more explosive than the case. (978-1-60282-596-3)
Nice Butt: Gay Anal Eroticism
by Shane Allison. From toys to teasing, spanking to sporting, some of the best gay erotic scribes celebrate the hottest and most creative in new erotica. (978-1-60282-635-9)
Worth the Risk
by Karis Walsh. Investment analyst Jamie Callahan and Grand Prix show jumper Kaitlyn Brown are willing to risk it all in their careers—can they face a greater challenge and take a chance on love? (978-1-60282-587-1)
Bloody Claws
by Winter Pennington. In the midst of aiding the police, Preternatural Private Investigator Kassandra Lyall finally finds herself at serious odds with Sheila Morris, the local werewolf pack’s Alpha female, when Sheila abuses someone Kassandra has sworn to protect. (978-1-60282-588-8)
Awake Unto Me
by Kathleen Knowles. In turn of the century San Francisco, two young women fight for love in a world where women are often invisible and passion is the privilege of the powerful. (978-1-60282-589-5)
Initiation by Desire
by MJ Williamz. Jaded Sue and innocent Tulley find forbidden love and passion within the inhibiting confines of a sorority house filled with nosy sisters. (978-1-60282-590-1)
Toughskins
by William Masswa. John and Bret are two twenty-something athletes who find that love can begin in the most unlikely of places, including a “mom and pop shop” wrestling league. (978-1-60282-591-8)
[email protected]
by K.E. Payne. Is it possible to fall in love with someone you’ve never met? Imogen Summers thinks so because it’s happened to her. (978-1-60282-592-5)
High Impact
by Kim Baldwin. Thrill seeker Emery Lawson and Adventure Outfitter Pasha Dunn learn you can never truly appreciate what’s important and what you’re capable of until faced with a sudden and stark reminder of your own mortality. (978-1-60282-580-2)
Snowbound
by Cari Hunter. “The policewoman got shot and she’s bleeding everywhere. Get someone here in one hour or I’m going to put her out of her misery.” It’s an ultimatum that will forever change the lives of police officer Sam Lucas and Dr. Kate Myles. (978-1-60282-581-9)
Rescue Me
by Julie Cannon. Tyler Logan reluctantly agrees to pose as the girlfriend of her in-the-closet gay BFF at his company’s annual retreat, but she didn’t count on falling for Kristin, the boss’s wife. (978-1-60282-582-6)
Murder in the Irish Channel
by Greg Herren. Chanse MacLeod investigates the disappearance of a female activist fighting the Archdiocese of New Orleans and a powerful real estate syndicate. (978-1-60282-584-0)
Franky Gets Real
by Mel Bossa. A four day getaway. Five childhood friends. Five shattering confessions…and a forgotten love unearthed. (978-1-60282-585-7)
Riding the Rails: Locomotive Lust and Carnal Cabooses
edited by Jerry Wheeler. Some of the hottest writers of gay erotica spin tales of Riding the Rails. (978-1-60282-586-4)
Sheltering Dunes
by Radclyffe. The seventh in the award-winning Provincetown Tales. The pasts, presents, and futures of three women collide in a single moment that will alter all their lives forever. (978-1-60282-573-4)
Holy Rollers
by Rob Byrnes. Partners in life and crime Grant Lambert and Chase LaMarca assemble a team of gay and lesbian criminals to steal millions from a right-wing mega-church, but the gang’s plans are complicated by an “ex-gay” conference, the FBI, and a corrupt reverend with his own plans for the cash. (978-1-60282-578-9)
History’s Passion: Stories of Sex Before Stonewall
edited by Richard Labonté. Four acclaimed erotic authors re-imagine the past…Welcome to the hidden queer history of men loving men not so very long—and centuries—ago. (978-1-60282-576-5)
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