Runaways (27 page)

“Ready,” Raven sang and spun around in the doorway. “California, here we come!”

Butterfly came out with a care package Mrs. Slater had prepared for us.

“She said she couldn't let us go without lunch,” Butterfly told us as we headed to the car. Once again, we'd found people who cared about us just when we had to leave.

We got into the station wagon and I started the engine. Mrs. Slater came to the door to wave good-bye as we drove off. When the garage came into view, I slowed.

“I'm just stopping to say good-bye,” I said quickly.

“Oh?” Crystal said, looking up.

I pulled in and got out slowly. Todd was under a car in the rear of the garage. I heard him grunt and then he stopped what he was doing and pushed himself out to look up at me.

“We're leaving,” I said quietly.

He got to his feet and looked out the door at our car. The girls were all staring. He nodded toward the far corner, which would be out of their view, and I went there. As soon as I turned, he kissed me.

“I want you to promise me that if you should get into some difficult situation along the way, you'll call me. Will you?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“I had some business cards made up last year. I've got a drawer full of them.” He dug into his coverall pocket and produced one which he slipped into my jeans pocket quickly. “Look at it once in a while so you don't forget me,” he said.

“I won't forget you, Todd. That's silly. I'll be thinking about you all the time.”

“Will you?” He smiled. “I hope so. You'll call as soon as you get where you're going, right?”

“Yes.”

“You're like some sort of miracle that came sweeping into my life and rushed out.”

“I'm not rushing out.” We stared at each other. My heart felt empty, hollow. “I'd better get going,” I said barely above a whisper. My eyes lowered. He touched my chin and I looked at him again.

“I'm memorizing your sweet little nose,” he said. “I'm memorizing all of you.”

We kissed once more and then I broke out of his embrace and hurried out to the car, trying desperately to swallow back the tears and sobs that wanted to escape.

“Everything all right?” Raven asked softly. I shook my head.

“What's wrong?” Crystal asked.

“Nothing,” I said, starting the engine.

“Brooke likes him,” Butterfly said. “Don't you, Brooke?”

I gazed at her in the rearview mirror and smiled.

“Yes, Butterfly. I do.”

I started away.

Todd came to his door and raised his hand. I
clicked the picture of him standing there and pressed it so hard and deeply into my memory, it would take a sledge hammer to get it out.

Someday, I'll see him again, I thought, and we'll be together forever. We'll marry and make a life because we not only loved each other, but needed each other. Or was this just a new pipe dream?

What sort of a wedding could I ever have? I asked myself. I have no father to give me away, no mother to help me chose my colors, my dress, my flowers and cake.

I have no one but myself.

W
e got a flat in the right rear tire just after we reached 1-70. Fortunately for us, Gordon had a full-size spare in the rear and with Crystal and Raven's help I was able to change the tire. The lug nuts were so tight, it took all of us to turn the wrench and loosen them. Raven and I pulled while Crystal practically stood on the wrench until the nuts turned. I'm sure we were quite a sight. Many cars passed us, but no one stopped to help. Crystal thought we were better off because there would be less lying to people. Of course, we were terrified a highway patrolman would stop, but they must have all been having coffee. We didn't see a single one then or for the next fifty miles.

Just after lunch, Crystal directed us onto 1-255, which took us into Missouri. We were in Missouri only a short time before we started west on 1-44.
Crystal said it would take us into Texas and from there we would go to New Mexico, Arizona and finally California.

California! It was beginning to feel like we were heading for the moon.

Every time we stopped for gas, we anticipated the gas charge card being denied, but every time it went through easily.

“He's right behind us,” Raven predicted. “I can feel him in my bones.”

No one contradicted her. We all had similar anxieties. It got so I actually gazed into the rearview mirror from time to time in anticipation of seeing Gordon's pickup truck closing on us. His face would be up against that windshield, his teeth clenched between two whitened lips.

I drove on, forcing the images out of my mind.

Mrs. Slater's lunch was so filling, we weren't hungry until nearly seven. Crystal decided we should stop in one of the smaller supermarkets and buy ready-made salads. It was cheap and easy. Afterward, before we got back on the main highway, we decided to indulge ourselves and stopped for frozen custard. Finding a suitable place to sleep that wouldn't cost us a large portion of our remaining funds was our next challenge. Most of the motels were expensive and even the ones that looked seedy to us were more than we could afford.

“We'll have to try sleeping in the wagon again,” Crystal said. “It won't kill us.”

This time I found a truly unused side road. The macadam broke up and ended in a field. It was one of those roads that had been started and stopped, which was fortunate for us. The tall grass hid us from view. We locked our doors, set up our pillows, opened the windows a crack and went to sleep. Or
at least, tried to fall asleep. Raven began saying what was on all of our minds.

“If we would have been able to work longer at Patsy's, we would have more money and wouldn't have to sleep in a field somewhere. We could eat like people. We could even buy some clothes. I've got to go to the bathroom. Now what am I supposed to do?”

“Pretend you're on one of the youth brigade camping trips the state used to organize for us,” I said. “Go out into nature.”

“I hated those trips. Anyway, there's mosquitos out there. There's snakes. There's . . .”

“Werewolves and vampires,” Crystal chimed.

“Ghosts and goblins,” Butterfly said and giggled.

“And serial killers. Don't forget the serial killers who have lost their way, too,” I added.

“You're all very funny, but you're all going to have to go to the bathroom in a field, too,” Raven reminded us.

“Our ancestors did,” Crystal said. “You know, the concept of indoor plumbing is a relatively recent phenomenon.”

“Oh, pleeeze, not a lecture on the history of the toilet,” Raven begged.

I laughed so hard, I suddenly had to go.

“Come on,” I said. “I'll stand guard for you and you can stand guard for me.”

When we were finished, we got back into the wagon and tried again to sleep. After what seemed like close to an hour, but was probably only about fifteen minutes, I sighed deeply and loudly enough for everyone to hear.

“I can't fall asleep,” Raven declared.

“Me neither,” Crystal said. “I thought I was so tired, it would only take a minute.”

“I'm awake, too,” Butterfly said.

“Let's talk ourselves out,” Crystal suggested.

“Talk about what?” Raven asked. “And don't say politics or science.”

“I know,” Crystal said, “everyone take a turn telling what's the most important thing she wants to find at the end of this rainbow. Who's first?”

“You go first,” Raven said. “It was your idea.”

“Okay. I want to find a good school in California so I can start applying for colleges.”

“Boring,” Raven sang.

Crystal continued, ignoring her.

“And then I want to go to the beach. And surf,” she giggled.

“Don't you want to meet any movie stars?” Raven asked her.

“No, not really. I don't care if the actors are famous. I'd rather go to one of the UCLA medical conferences. Research is so important and those doctors are famous for their work in . . .”

“It's working, Crystal,” Raven declared.

“What?”

“I'm falling asleep.”

“Very funny,” Crystal said. I subdued a giggle. “Let's hear from you then, Miss Songbird,” Crystal challenged.

Uh oh, I thought, here comes Crystal's sharp wit. She's just setting her up.

“Okay,” Raven chimed. “I want to get to Los Angeles, go to my first audition, and get picked to sign a record deal before I've sung my first note.”

“That's not a goal, that's a dream. You ought to convert that story into a pill and sell it to insomniacs,” Crystal advised.

“What is that supposed to mean? Can you understand
anything she says, Brooke? I swear. Besides, what's wrong with having a dream?”

“I'd like to get an athletic scholarship to a great school,” I said before they got into a real argument, “and after a few weeks, I'd write to Todd. He would come out and then we'd get married after I finished school and he could travel all over the world with me and my Olympic team.”

“Just think, you could have enough children to start your own softball team,” Raven laughed.

“I don't think this game is helping us relax and sleep,” I retorted.

“What about you, Butterfly?” Raven asked her.

There was a long pause.

“I just want to find a new mother and father and maybe a grandmother and grandfather,” she said in her tiny voice.

No one spoke.

“I am tired now,” I said, closing my eyes and sinking deeper into the seat.

“Me too,” Raven said, “so everyone shut up.”

It was dark and very still, with barely a breeze coming through the openings in our windows. Somewhere far off, I heard what I thought was an owl. I closed my eyes. Butterfly's simple wish resonated like a powerful poem inside me.

Should I have told the girls what I really wished? I wished that at the end of my rainbow was my mother, who would come forward to claim me, to ask for my forgiveness, to tell me a story that justified and explained why she abandoned me. She would be filled with so much remorse, I would forgive her and she would hug me and kiss me and tell me that ever since that dreadful day when she had to deposit me in some state-run facility, she had dreamed of meeting me again.

We would pick up as if all the intervening years had been a bad dream. In minutes we would become like sisters, and she wouldn't be upset about my being more interested in sports than in beauty pageants. She would be intrigued and interested. We'd play tennis and swim and take long walks on those grand California beaches where the sand glimmers like tiny diamonds and the people are forever young.

How wonderful it would be finally to have someone I truly wanted to call Mommy.

Darkness wrapped itself around us, four lost and frightened souls safe for the moment, sleeping in the automobile owned by the man we had all come to hate, the demon in our nightmares, out there, chasing us, fueled by his rage, relentless, a reason never to forget to lock our doors.

As if she could read my thoughts even in her sleep, Butterfly had a terrible nightmare almost as soon as she fell asleep. She woke screaming and Crystal was immediately at her side, comforting her, assuring her she was safe.

“What was it?” Raven asked her. Butterfly couldn't talk, didn't want to tell.

“It's all right, Butterfly,” Crystal said. “We're all here with you.”

“She scared dinner out of me,” Raven moaned. “My heart feels like a tiny fist pounding on the inside of my chest.”

“Go back to sleep,” Crystal advised.

“Go back to sleep?”

“Just go back to sleep,” she said firmly.

Raven thought a moment, realized that Butterfly would remain calm if we did, and quieted down.

It was hard to go back to sleep. I felt so sorry for
Butterfly. Maybe it was wrong to take her with us. Maybe Todd was right. She's too fragile. Even our love, our company, our joining and promising to be there forever for each other wasn't enough.

Who did we think we were anyway? I thought.

We're nobodies.

How did I ever come up with this idea?

The morning light woke us. It filled the car with so much sunshine that when I opened my eyes, I thought we were on fire and jerked myself up, a scream on my lips. After a moment I remembered where we were. It was just five-thirty in the morning. Raven wouldn't be a happy camper if I woke her, I thought as she moaned and turned, desperately trying to cling to sleep.

I got out, stretched and took deep breaths of the cool air. Crystal joined me. Butterfly was still asleep too.

“We've got to figure something out, Brooke, find a way to get money. We can't go on like this and what will we do if we should ever really reach California? We'll need an apartment. We might not get jobs right away and even if we did, we wouldn't get paid right away. How do we eat in the meantime? Who'll give us an apartment without putting up rent?