Running From Love (19 page)

Trevor scanned the info that she’d sent. “Seriously? That’s where she is?”

“According to my dad, for the last month. First it was Hong Kong and then a brief trip to Paris and now—”

“Like home for her.”

“Maybe. Seems to me she goes there to escape. Maybe you can convince her she doesn’t have anything she needs to run from anymore.”

“I’ll know in a couple days if she’s going to come back with me.”

“If she says yes, you two should take some time alone together.”

“And if she says no?”

“Then you need to figure out how to get yourself together before you come back here.”

Trevor hated to admit it, but Steph was right. He couldn’t continue his bad attitude. Lashing out at the staff with his anger over his broken heart for Poppy. No, he couldn’t continue being a jerk and expect his staff to remain. They worked too hard and deserved better. At this point they were staying because of their feelings of loyalty to the company and Mom, most definitely not because they wanted to work with him.

“Good luck, Trevor.” A small smile played across Stephanie’s lips. “I hope you get the girl.”

“Thanks.” Trevor stood and reached for his suit jacket. “I’m going to need every bit of luck I can find.”

*

“Oh my God, Charla you look … you look spectacular.” Charla spun in front of the giant mirrors that had been brought into the suite of Charla and Ryan’s bungalow at Mesquale for the final fitting of Charla’s Chanel wedding gown. “I love it!” Two of the three seamstresses who had traveled with the gown from Paris stood to the side, while the lead seamstress walked around Charla, examining the dress.

Poppy’s throat tightened and tears spilled from her eyes. Charla looked into the mirror at Poppy’s reflection.

“What’s wrong? Oh my God, did I spill something? Is there something on the back of the dress?” Charla twisted like a fish caught on a hook, trying to see the back of her gown.

“No! No, no, no, you just look so beautiful.”

Charla pressed her hand to her breast. “Thank God! I thought for sure I’d managed to rip it or get it dirty.” She turned to the head seamstress. “Can I take it off before I do something to it?” Ever since Charla had commissioned the wedding gown, at every fitting she’d been terrified that she would ruin the dress. “Seriously.” Charla looked at Poppy. “This thing costs more than some people’s homes.” The seamstress unbuttoned the back of the dress.

Poppy couldn’t ever tell Charla that her tears weren’t just because Charla looked beautiful. Poppy couldn’t be that selfish, could she? There was no way she’d taint this moment, and all the moments over the next three days, with her own selfish feelings and sadness. She had to get a grip on the emotions cascading through her.

Charla stepped out of her gown, revealing the complicated assortment of necessary undergarments that she’d also wear under the wedding dress at the ceremony. One of the seamstresses held out a giant robe and Charla put it on.

“Thank God.” She walked toward Poppy. “Give me one of those.” Poppy filled a glass of champagne and handed it over as Charla sat down beside her. “I’m seriously panicked every time I’m within ten feet of that dress, okay? It’s the most expensive thing I’ve ever owned and there’s a good chance that it’ll have half a fillet down the front of it before the wedding dinner is over.”

“As long as there’re no spots before the ceremony we’re all good.” Poppy forced a smile to her face and clinked glasses with Charla. She’d hold her emotions in check. She was the maid of honor and she had duties that had to fulfill. She wouldn’t fail. She pulled in a long deep breath.

Would Trevor would be at the wedding? She couldn’t bring herself to ask Charla if he had RSVP’d, but she assumed he’d be there. How could she face him, knowing now that she’d made the worst mistake of her life by leaving him a second time?

“Have you made a decision about Ryan’s offer?”

Her thoughts yanked back to the present. Ryan had asked Poppy if she’d become Vice President of Staff Relations for the Food & Beverage division of Mesquale. She hadn’t given him or Charla an answer yet. To say yes, she’d have to work nearly year round and give up her nomadic lifestyle of six months on, six months off. Her supervisor would be Liam, whom Poppy adored, but her ability to fly free and take off every six months would be abruptly curtailed.

“I have to let him know once you return from your honeymoon.”

“Right.” Charla took a strawberry from the tray of fresh fruit. “I just wondered what you thought? The job is different than the lifestyle you want, and if you were going to settle down, I just thought—”

“I don’t really want to talk about it.” Poppy’s words were abrupt but her tone contained sadness. “If I talk about it … I just can’t.” Poppy shook her head and looked out the window toward the ocean. The same ocean that three months before she’d looked at while laying in Trevor’s arms. “I want the next three days to be about you and Ryan and your love. If I think about the job or staying in one place then …” Her words drifted away. Hot tears formed in her eyes. “Dammit, I don’t want to cry.”

She plucked a tissue from a box on the end table. She dabbed her eyes. “If I start to think about all that then I’ll think about Trevor.” His name came from her lips in a hushed whisper.

“I’m sorry. I just thought … I mean, you don’t seem happy. It feels like you miss him. Do you think you made the wrong decision by leaving?”

“I did make the wrong decision, but I don’t know how to make any other choice.”

“What does that even mean?” Charla’s face held empathy, but a hint of irritation laced her voice. “Tell him how you feel. You love him, he loves you, why leave?”

“Because I’m terrified. I’m terrified if I don’t leave, if I don’t put an end to our relationship now, then in five years we’ll have kids and I’ll run away and not only destroy Trevor’s life but their lives, too.” 

“Therese destroyed your entire life?” Charla asked.

Poppy tilted her head to the side. “Well, no, but—”

“And Mimi is terminally unhappy?”

“No.” Poppy tore at the tissue in her hand.

“And Brian? He has no will to live, really, his life is at an end?”

“No, Charla.” Poppy tilted her head and cocked an eyebrow. “You know those things aren’t true.”

“Okay.” Charla took a sip of her champagne. “So Therese leaving didn’t
destroy
your entire life. Of course her abandoning you made you unhappy, and it caused you pain, and you have issues that you have to deal with and work through because of—”

“What’s your point?” Poppy crossed her arms over her chest.

“My point?” Charla raised one eyebrow. Her gaze went from Poppy’s crossed arms to Poppy’s hard stare. “My point is, that those
issues
are part of life. Not that I’m unsympathetic, but Poppy, come on? You have a family that loves you, friends, a place to live, and a man who, even though you left him twice, would die for you. While it completely sucks that Therese left when you were five and that she’s gone and that you’ll never have the kind of mother you deserved, you do have other women in your life who adore you. You have your sister, and your nieces, and your friends.” Charla reached out and laid her hand on Poppy’s shoulder. “And you can always be the kind of mother you wanted when you have your own family.”

Poppy pressed her lips together and turned away from her friend. “You’re telling me to get over it.”

“No,” Charla sighed. “Not really. I don’t know if we can get over some things that happen to us.” She shook her head. “But I’m asking you, why are you letting a woman who you feel destroyed your life prevent you from living the life that you want?”

Poppy’s heart jolted. Her fingertips tingled. “What?”

“I mean, if you’re not committing because you’re afraid that you’ll do what Therese did, that you’re afraid you’ll abandon the people you love, aren’t you letting this woman, the one you say destroyed your life, control your future?”

Poppy closed her eyes. “Yes,” she whispered. “I suppose I am. “

“Don’t beat yourself up over it. I did the same thing, maybe we all do. I ran from Ryan because I was convinced my relationship with Ryan would turn out the same way my relationship with Bertram did. Maybe it’s human nature to run away from the very things that can heal us.” Charla smiled. “Here’s the thing. You’re already in love and your heart is breaking, so why let someone who hurt you in the past dictate what kind of joy you get to feel in your future?” Charla refilled her champagne glass. “Letting people who harmed us control who we love and how we live? That not only doesn’t make sense, but it just allows what they did to continue to hurt us for our entire lives.”

Poppy nodded. She swallowed. She closed her eyes. Charla was right. She was absolutely one hundred percent right.

“I have to go,” Poppy jumped up. “I have to … I have to … Charla, I’m sorry, but right now, I just need some time to be alone.”

“You’re sure?”

Poppy nodded. “I’m not running away. I just need some air.”

“You won’t run away before the wedding? Promise me that you won’t.”

“I won’t.” Poppy smiled through her tears. “I just … I have … I need some time, a moment to process.”

Charla nodded. “Okay. I have to meet Ryan at the ballroom to go over seating with the coordinator. I’m going to get dressed and walk to the main building.” She lifted her phone. “I’m just a text away.”

“Thanks.” Poppy pressed her fingers under her eyes and rushed out of the sliders that led to the deck and down to the beach. She needed fresh air. She needed space. The warm sand massaged her bare feet. A warm breeze blew against her face and dried her tears. Charla was right. Poppy’s heart warmed with the knowledge that this was her choice, to free herself from her past, to face her future, to embrace the people she loved.

The waves rolled in and out. The rhythm was hypnotic and peaceful. She walked to where the sand met the water. She lifted her arms to the sky and breathed deep. With a long exhale all the tension in her body released.

Damn Therese. Damn her hold on Poppy’s past and future. Poppy was smarter than this. She’d learned too much to turn her back on love. She didn’t have to walk the same path as Therese, she didn’t have to keep running. She could make a choice, make a commitment, live the life she wanted no matter what had happened in the past. 

She wanted a life with Trevor. Who knew if he would take her now … how much heartache had she caused? How much pain had he endured? How could he ever trust her to stay? Even if she knew her own truth, how could she convince Trevor? She’d been running from his love for so long and fled so many times.

She pressed her fingertips to her lips. What had she done? What had she given up? Her heart split. Pain catapulted through her body with the idea that she’d lost Trevor for the rest of her life. “No, no, no,” she mumbled. She had to call him, she had to see him, she had to …

“Poppy?”

She turned. Her heart hammered … Trevor stood behind her on the shore.

*

“I can’t do this without you,” Trevor said. Her face was streaked with tears and her hair was wild in the wind, but Trevor saw only beauty. Beauty, pure and fierce and independent. Not a woman he wanted to capture and keep, but a woman he want to love and walk with through life. A shared life of joy. “I’ve tried to live without you and I can’t. I love you. With all that I am and everything that I will ever be, Poppy, I love you and I know you love me.”

He walked toward Poppy, one slow step at a time. His body thrummed with the need to pull her close, to embrace her, to press his lips to hers and make love to her, but instead he walked ever so slowly toward her. Her tears had stopped, but her chest still heaved as she tried to catch her breath.

“I’m sorry,” she hiccupped.

His heart broke. He stopped walking. His gaze dropped to the ground. She would say no. She would not come back to Los Angeles with him. She was sorry, but she didn’t love him enough to commit.

“I’m so sorry that I left.”

Trevor looked up. His eyes widened. “You’ll come back? You’ll come back with me to L.A.?”

Poppy nodded and her bottom lip trembled. The distance between them disappeared as he embraced her. Poppy trembled in his arms.

“I love you, Trevor. I’m still scared, but I love you and I want us to be together.”

“Oh, Poppy, yes, God yes.” He pulled her close and pressed his lips to hers. This moment that he’d waited for, the moment when Poppy finally stopped running from love.

“Are you ready?” Poppy glanced toward Trevor, who held his phone up toward her.

“I’m so ready. Put her in, see what she does.”

Poppy slowly walked down the stairs of the pool at Adele’s house, cradling their daughter in her arms, and Mia kicked her chubby legs with their tiny rolls of fat. The baby’s feet touched the water and a squeal burst from her lips.

Adele, who was already in the water, moved toward her granddaughter. “She loves it!” Adele laughed and clasped her hands together. “Look at that little angel, she absolutely loves it.” 

“Did you get all that, Dad?” Poppy called to Trevor.

“I’m getting it all, Mama,” Trevor called back.

Poppy swirled Mia in the water, pausing and waving toward Trevor. Mia mimicked the wave and then her gaze latched onto the water again. “Do you want to take her?” Poppy approached her mother-in-law.

“Do I? Oh my, I thought you’d never ask.”

Poppy dropped her head back and laughed. Adele was a spectacular grandmother and mother-in-law. She was so nonjudgmental of Poppy’s decisions, so helpful, so kind, so respectful, and yet always there to lend a hand. Really, Adele was perfection in the family department. Not only that, she’d become a surrogate grandmother for Poppy’s two nieces Laura and Hazel, and was looking forward to adding another to the brood, with Mimi soon to have her and Daniel’s first son.

“Sorry we’re late,” Mimi called from the back patio door. She walked to the nearest lounger, sat, and put up her feet. She was nearly ready to pop, and her ankles had been swelling for the last three months. This heat wasn’t helping her any. Laura and Hazel bounded toward the water, Hazel already in her water wings. Laura, having mastered her strokes, leapt into the pool with a gargantuan splash. Another squeal of delight from Mia sliced through the air. Poppy backed toward the pool stairs as both Laura and Hazel paddled toward their cousin and Adele.