Running Lean (31 page)

Stacey tucked her chin down and trudged along the wide path through the sandy field. She shoved her hands into the pockets of her hoodie. Her fingers curled around the slip of paper. She remembered without pulling it out—Noah Dickerson’s phone number.

“H
ow was camping?” Dad grabbed the latch on the pickup’s tailgate.

Calvin’s sinuses throbbed. After unloading two other motorcycles at two different houses, he was ready for a nap and couldn’t face a long conversation about what had really happened during his trip. With Stacey or the bike. “It was good. Good riding. I got a cold, though.”

He climbed into the pickup and reached for the first hook of the heavy-duty cargo cables holding the Yamaha in place. The truck bed was a mess, covered with dried mud and pine needles, and would have to be hosed out. The Yamaha didn’t look much better.

Dad grunted as he climbed up beside him. “Leave me any gas in the truck?”

“Uh …”

“Uh-huh. That’s what I thought.”

“No, there might be a quarter tank. I think.”

Dad loosened the cable on the other side of the bike. “Let’s hurry and get this unloaded so you can clean up for church.”

Wednesday night Bible study. He’d forgotten about that. “Can I stay home this time? I feel like crud.”

“Better talk to your mama about that.”

Calvin held the motorcycle’s handlebars while Dad jumped down from the truck. Dad slid their homemade bike ramp away from the side rails and hooked it to the tailgate.

“Back her up.”

Calvin eased his bike backward and Dad guided the rear wheel to the center of the ramp. They transferred the bike’s weight from one to the other, and Dad eased the Yamaha down to flat ground.

Calvin jumped off the truck. Landing shook his sinuses and rattled his eyeballs. He pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “Ow. That was stupid.”

“Go ask your ma for medicine. I’ll hose down the bike and truck. You don’t need to be getting wet if you’re sick. Need you healthy for work tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Dad.” Calvin sniffed and shuffled into the house.

Inside, the boys were arguing over a gaming controller and Lizzie was yakking on the phone. They all just glanced at him. Calvin dropped his duffle on the dining room table and pulled out the cold capsules he’d bought in Troy.

Mom rounded the corner into the room. “Take that filthy thing off the table, please. How was your trip?”

“Fine.”

“What are those? Pills?”

“Got a cold.” Calvin tossed the capsules to the back of his throat and swallowed. Bad move. Usually he could do it, but his sore throat closed around the pills. Ouch. He went to the kitchen and filled a glass with water.

Mom pressed her hand to his forehand, lifting his hair up. “You’re not fevered.”

“I feel awful.”

“I’m not surprised, camping out in the rain the other night. Was it as bad there as it was here?”

How could he know how bad the rain was at home? He shrugged.

“Go upstairs and get into your pj’s,” Mom said. “I’ll fix you some soup.”

She’d concoct some kind of remedy that would either taste amazingly good or unbelievably bad. But it sounded like she would let him skip church, anyway. Calvin trudged up to his room and replaced his jeans with a pair of sweatpants. Shirtless, he flopped down on top of his bed, not bothering with his blanket. The warm room seemed to shift around him. So good to close his eyes.

Yet as he did, an early-morning conversation with Tyler replayed behind his eyelids. Their almost-argument had made for an awkward ride home.

“It stinks, man.” Tyler’s voice in their tent had been muted. Predawn light filtered through the mesh window, barely revealing his form sitting cross-legged on his sleeping bag. “But this isn’t like working on a bike or a car. You can’t fix her. Let her family take care of her.”

Calvin winced.
Fix
her? Pretty cold way of looking at it. He wanted to help her, not—

“Besides,” Tyler said, “you still don’t know what’s going on with her and Noah.”

That reminder stung. “Shut up.”

“Sorry. I hope I’m wrong. But there’s got to be more to it than Stacey suddenly deciding she wants you back. Maybe she wasn’t running away from home, but she was running away from
something
.”

Calvin’s eyes snapped open. Home, not the campground. Only the roof beams and God heard him cuss as he turned to face the wall.

Pretty ironic that Stacey’s parents would forbid
him
from seeing Stacey. What would Deputy Varnell have to say about Noah Dickerson?

During the four-hour drive home, Calvin had let his thoughts wander over that territory. Stacey said there was nothing going on
with Noah. He wanted to believe her. But what exactly did she go all that way to talk to him about? What couldn’t she tell him because the park rangers came and took her away?

A now familiar tingling sensation erupted on Calvin’s scalp.

Cold medication doing its work. He folded his pillow around his head and welcomed the drowsiness that would come next.

He awoke to his mother’s touch. Instead of a tray with soup on it, she held the phone out to him. “Mrs. Varnell wants to talk to you. She sounds upset.”

Calvin lumbered upright and took the phone from Mom’s hand. As he said hello, Mom stayed, touching her fingertips to her lips and staring, her forehead wrinkled with concern.

“Calvin? Is that you?” Mrs. Varnell’s voice was loud in the receiver.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Have you seen Stacey? Have you heard from her? At all today?”

The walls seemed to compress around Calvin. Something bad was going on. It wasn’t a medicine-induced dream.

“No, I haven’t. I just got home from camping a little while ago.”

“Oh. Well, all right. Your mother said you were sleeping. I’m sorry to bother you.”

“What’s going on?”

“I can’t explain right now. We have to find Stacey.”

“She came home with you. Right? From the park ranger station?” Mom’s brows pinched and she mouthed the word, “What?” Calvin gritted his teeth.

“We’ll call you when we know something.”

“Wait. Mrs. Varnell? Is she—”

Silence on the line robbed him of breath. He looked up at his mother and limply handed the phone back to her.

“What was that about?” she asked, staring.

“They’re looking for Stacey.”

“What was that about the park ranger station?”

He rubbed his eyes so he wouldn’t have to look at her. When she sat on the edge of his bed, the scent of her perfume spilling over him, he knew he wouldn’t get out of this conversation.

“You know we broke up. And I was like, that’s it. We’re done. But Sunday night, she … drove to Badin Lake because … she wanted to get back together.”

“She did what?”

“She drove—”

“By herself? Why would she do that?”

“I don’t know.”

“Calvin Thomas Greenlee, you tell me the truth right now. That girl called here the other day crying, wanting to talk to you. It’d have to be something major for her to drive all that way to see you.”

“She called here too?” Calvin swallowed hard. “Mom, I honestly don’t know why. I’ve been trying to figure it out since it happened. All I know is … she’s anorexic.” His joints trembled. Saying it out loud to Mom, all his barely controlled emotions threatened to break through. He squeezed his eyes shut.

“Oh … dear … Lord,” Mom said.

He had to pour it out for her. “She’s been sick a lot and now it’s messing with her head. That’s the only thing I can figure that makes any sense. She came to the campground and she was all freaked out. The park rangers took her, and her parents were supposed to come get her. I talked to her mom yesterday, and she said Stacey was sleeping. But now she’s gone again. She … she wouldn’t go back to Badin Lake, would she? I mean, she knew we were coming home today.”

Mom dropped her fingers from her mouth and thrust the phone out to him. “Call her cell phone. She probably isn’t answering calls from her parents, but she’ll see it’s your number, and she’ll answer.”

Calvin blinked. That was so simple an answer, why hadn’t Stacey’s
parents thought of it and asked him to do it? He took the phone from Mom and dialed.

Like every time before, the call went straight to voice mail. Immediately. Did that mean her phone was turned off? Well,
that
hope crashed and burned. Still, Calvin waited through the sing-song sound of a woman’s voice telling him to leave a message or wait if he needed further instructions, blah, blah.

“Stacey.” Too abrupt. He had to lure her. “Hey, uh, I’m home from camping. Give me a call, okay? Can’t wait to hear your voice again.” Too sweet? He let it stand and said good-bye.

When he handed the phone back to Mom, she was toying with the fabric of her church dress and didn’t see him for a second. “How do you know she’s anorexic?” Mom took the phone without looking at him, and toyed with it in her lap instead.

Calvin sighed. “We know. Everyone knows. Now her parents know. Her mother pretty much told me when I called from the campground.”

“Is anyone … doing anything for her? Girls—people like that need help, they need counseling. It’s very serious.”

“I know. And not yet. I wonder if, like, she ran away because her parents figured it out.” The possibility seemed so right that it weighed heavy on Calvin, like a physical weight. His arms lost their ability to hold him up. He flopped down against his bunched-up pillow.

Mom inhaled sharply and straightened, giving her head a shake. “Oh, my. Poor girl. But Calvin, honey, her father is a policeman. He’ll know what to do about this. He’ll find her, even if she went back to the lake. He’ll be notifying the police there to watch for her. So don’t worry too much about it.” She set the phone on the old steamer trunk that served as his bedside table. “I’ll leave this with you. Try calling her again in a little while.”

Calvin shook his head and swung his legs over the side of the bed. “I can’t just lay here, Mom. I have to try to find her.”

Mom’s hands landed on his shoulders and pressed him down. She was strong, and he hadn’t expected it. “
You
are going to stay right here and rest. You’re sick.”

“Mom. I’ve got a cold. Anorexia is a whole lot worse.”

She leaned forward to look into his eyes. “Listen to me. If she’s looking for you, she’ll get that message and she’ll call or come here. Right? Moreover, her father’s looking for her, and he’ll find her.
My
job is to take care of you. So, when we get back from church tonight, I want to find you here.” She pointed at the floor, her eyes hard, like he’d already done something wrong.

Calvin’s mouth dropped open. Although a plan hadn’t fully formed in his head, the seeds had sprouted. Mom saw the shoots and squashed them.

“Mom, I can’t just sit here if she’s in trouble.”

“You will, if I have to stay home to make sure you do.”

“But she needs me.”

“She
needs
therapy. Right now the best thing for you to do is to stay out of the way and let her parents deal with the problem. Understand? Let Stacey’s parents take care of her.”

Calvin’s shoulders slumped, and Mom’s hands slid off them. He wouldn’t get anywhere arguing with her. He didn’t have the energy anyway. Calvin stared at his bare feet while the floorboards creaked beneath his mother’s departing footsteps.

“I’ll bring your supper up in a moment.”

The word “thanks” got stuck in his throat. Thanks for not understanding. Thanks for stripping him of all power to do anything.

“Stupid cold,” he whispered into the quiet room.

H
eavy metal music screamed from the speakers on the back deck of Stuart Somebody’s car, the pounding subwoofers just inches away from Stacey’s ears. The air in the car smelled ashy, but not like cigarettes. A more pungent, earthy smell. Weed. Had to be.

Sitting next to Stacey, Zoe wore a smile that practically split her face in two. She flipped her hair back for about the hundredth time and pulled a compact out of her black-and-bling purse to check her makeup. How could she see anything in the shadowy car?

Stacey shuddered, freezing in the air conditioning, unable to focus for long on anything but the fear of seeing her father’s cruiser pull up beside them.

In the front seat, Noah said something to his driver friend that sounded like
Nathan
. He put a cell phone to his ear. The music stayed loud while he talked.

Stacey leaned close to Zoe. “Where are we going?”

“Nathan’s house, I think. Whoever Nathan is.”

A highway sign flashed by.
Highway 301, 1 mile
. They were in Dawson, but on the southern side, farther than she’d ever driven.

Noah turned around and flashed a grin. “Y’all up for a party?”

“Yeah!” Zoe squeezed Stacey’s hand and shook it back and forth.

Way to be obvious
.

No restrictions, motoring off to parties with beautiful people. Zoe’s idea of fun. Stacey pushed her hands between her knees to keep from chewing her cuticles bloody. Her heart quivered madly in her chest, so much that it hurt.

Grounded forever, her car sold to the first taker, and all boys banned from coming within a hundred yards of her until she was thirty; that’s what Daddy would do if he found out she was sitting in a weed-infused car heading to some strange person’s house with Noah Dickerson. He’d even toss her in a jail cell and fling a pile of juvenile citations at her face. And that was before anything that might happen at this party.

Why did I let Zoe talk me into calling Noah?

Her entire life as she knew it was over. Going home again was out of the question. She’d have to drop out of school and find some halfway house in Raleigh—no, farther away, maybe Charlotte or Atlanta—where she could stay until she found a job waitressing or working in a factory. Bye-bye, fashion design school. Bye-bye, Calvin, forever.

Stacey looked out the side window to hide her trembling lower lip from Zoe.

Stuart Somebody pulled off the highway on Highway 301. They passed gas stations, fast food places, and a grocery store, then turned off that road into an apartment complex. Cars in the parking lot ranged from late model to old junkers, and beach towels and sports banners hung over some second-floor balcony railings. This had to be college housing. But which college? Stacey couldn’t think.

Stuart parked in front of one of the buildings. Stacey’s mind raced to find an excuse for staying in the car. Sick? No, Zoe wouldn’t buy it. With a deep breath, she climbed out and followed the guys toward the building.

Zoe grabbed her arm and pressed close. “I’m gonna get me a hot college guy.”

Sure you are … for one whole night. This is crazy. We shouldn’t be here
. Stacey slowed her steps with Zoe still clinging to her arm. Her body begged her to stop.

“Don’t you back out now.” Zoe’s whisper turned dark. “You better not be thinking about that farm boy.”

Stacey jerked her arm away. “His name is Calvin.”

“I know his stupid name! Come on, don’t ruin this. Just be cool and have some fun. Tomorrow you can think about Calvin all you want.”

Noah and Stuart led them up an outdoor stairway. Stacey’s feet felt like cement bricks with each step. Stuart tapped on the door of a second-floor apartment, but opened it himself. Someone shouted a greeting. Five people sat on a garage-sale sofa and two plastic lawn chairs clustered near a blaring television. The air smelled like beer and cat litter, and Stacey wished for a hazmat suit.

A scruffy-haired, bearded college guy came out of the kitchen and grabbed Noah in a one-armed embrace, followed by a knuckle rap with Stuart. He pointed at Stacey and Zoe with his chin.

“Who’re your friends?”

Noah draped his arm over Stacey’s shoulders. “This is Stacey, and that’s Zoe. Girls, this is my brother, Nathan. And these other people are … uh, I don’t know everyone here. I know Darla, of course.” He pointed to someone on the couch.

“People from class,” Nathan said. “We were studying earlier.”

“Y’all have to take summer school?” Zoe asked.

Way to show you’re still in high school, ditz. College offers summer courses
.

Still, if they were studying, maybe these people would be okay. This was the bohemian lifestyle Stacey could look forward to at fashion design school—minus the beer and cat stink. And if she wasn’t grounded forever and forced to put off college completely.

Noah’s musky scent washed over her, a relief from the other
smells. His velvety voice made her catch her breath, his sapphire eyes demanded that she look nowhere else. But when his fingers massaged her shoulder, laying claim to her, she inched away.

Zoe strutted into the living room. Stacey followed, moving away from Noah, and glanced at the television. ESPN logo, clips from baseball games. Stacey squeezed onto the end of the tattered plaid sofa and said hi to a girl with short brown hair.

The girl sipped from a can of beer then set it on the glass-topped coffee table. Dirty rings marked resting places of many cans before it. “Hey, I’m Darla. You’re here with Noah?”

“Um, well, yeah. Kind of.”

Darla laughed softly. “Kind of?”

“We’re just friends.”

“Really? ‘Cause Noah doesn’t have any
girl
friends. Just girlfriends, if you get me.”

“I get you.”

“I mean, he’s a really sweet guy. Just scattered. Who knows? Maybe you’ll be the one to help him settle down.”

“Doubt it,” Stacey mumbled.

“Just don’t make him jealous. He can’t handle it. He gets a little weird.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

No one bothered to introduce the other people. Stacey wouldn’t have remembered their names anyway. Finally Noah sauntered over, and Darla got up to make space on the sofa for him to slide down beside Stacey. He draped his arm on the back of the couch, his hand touching her shoulder, and took a long swig from his own can of beer. “Want one?”

Underage drinking. Forget grounding; Daddy would simply shoot her.

“I’m not thirsty.”

As Noah carried on a conversation with someone else, his fingers
traced Stacey’s contours. He played with the collar of her hoodie, tickled the side of her neck, and drew curving shapes on her upper arm. Wanting to be subtle in the crowded room, Stacey reached up to brush back her hair while trying to push his hand aside. He misinterpreted the move, caught her fingers in his, and slanted a sexy smile at her.

Stacey shrank deeper into the sofa, wishing she could melt into the scratchy upholstery. She managed to reclaim her fingers and clasped both hands in her lap.

Where is Zoe?

Darla and Nathan leaned against a wall by the kitchen entrance, kissing and fondling. Stacey tried to watch the television but her eyes kept drifting back to the couple. Her racing heart sent a tightness to her throat she couldn’t swallow down.

Zoe came out of the kitchen, laughing and flipping her hair. Just behind her was a bearded guy wearing a knit cap. At least a foot taller than her. Zoe had found her college guy, although he was anything but hot. She’d also found the beer.

A montage of baseball bloopers on TV had the others laughing. A player slid on the outfield grass and ended up in a split, which prompted a loud “Oh!” from every guy in the apartment. Stacey watched and tried to relax. Yet the beer-tainted air was too heavy to breathe.

Okay, so a few people were drinking, and one couple got a little frisky in public view. It wasn’t anything terrible. Maybe she just needed some fresh air to settle her nerves.

Stacey eased off the couch and picked her way through the room to a sliding glass door. It was locked, and the latch wouldn’t cooperate with her fumbling fingers. When at last she figured it out, she flung the door open harder than she’d intended.

People stopped talking and stared.

Now completely unable to breathe, Stacey shot forward. She
grabbed the balcony rail and sucked in humid air, ignoring the wood splinters poking her palms. The ground below seemed to vibrate, moving toward her then receding.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Noah asked.

She refused to look at him even when he rested a hand on her waist and tried to turn her toward him.

“I … I’m scared.”

“Of what? Your parents?”

She’d told him just enough to explain why she was away from home without her purse or car. At one statement, “My parents are driving me insane,” Noah had nodded in complete understanding.

“What am I doing here? Noah, I already have a boyfriend.”

“So where is he?”

“Huh?”

She glanced at him, expecting to find jealousy in his eyes. Instead a sly smile touched his perfect lips, like he was about to reveal a secret. Why did he have to be so cute?

“You called me,” he said. “Why not him?”

“B-because he wasn’t home.”

“So you’re cheating on him?”

“No. My father said he couldn’t—uh …”
Why is this happening to me?

Stacey looked back into the living room. Zoe and that other guy had taken her spot on the couch, sitting too close for two people who’d just met.

“You called me,” Noah repeated, edging closer. “I figured that meant something.”

“I-I like you, Noah. But—”

The smile turned to a boyish pout. “So you used me to get away from your parents. ‘Cause that other guy wasn’t around.”

“No. I mean—”

Noah swore softly and stepped away from her. “That’s great, Stacey. What am I supposed to do?”

“Can’t we just be friends?”

He leaned into the corner of the balcony railing and crossed his ankles. “Maybe I don’t want to be just friends.”

Stacey pressed a hand to her forehead and found it clammy. Dizziness threatened again. Her stomach was an open pit swirling with acid.
Not again. Please
.

“Noah, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

“To what? Use me?”

“C-can we just sit down?” She swayed.

“Whoa, hey. You okay?” He came away from the rail and clasped her arm, steadying her.

“I need to eat. Can I have some bread or something?”

“Bread? Uh, sure. Nathan’s got salsa and chips in the kitchen.”

When had she last allowed anything to stay in her stomach, other than water? She couldn’t remember. She needed bread, bland and dense, that would sit in her stomach and suck up all the acid. A single slice would do.

Noah led her to the kitchen and pointed to a picked-over bowl of chunky salsa and an almost-empty bag of tortilla chips. “There’s that. And the beer. Anything else … look around.” He abruptly turned and left her standing there.

She couldn’t blame him for being angry. It was her fault for letting Zoe talk her into calling him. Sure, Daddy wouldn’t be able to find her, but now she was stuck. She glanced around the room for a phone. Nothing but dirty dishes, beer, and the salsa.

No salsa—that would burn. And who knew who had been double-dipping in the stuff? Stacey reached for the refrigerator handle. Something sticky made it hard to open—or maybe she was so weak that a stupid refrigerator door taxed her.

The door made a sucking noise as it opened, and the moment the refrigerator light spilled out, Zoe was beside Stacey.

“What are you doing?” Zoe’s glare was like a storm cloud dragged into the kitchen. “What did you say to Noah?”

Stacey didn’t want to discuss it.

Before her sat carryout containers, cans of soda, and lunchmeat with dried and curled edges. Beyond nasty. And no bread. Maybe they kept it in a cabinet … which meant it was probably moldy. Stacey gagged.

“Zoe, are you still dieting?”

“Yeah. Are you cheating on yours?”

Stacey slammed the refrigerator door. “Well, stop. It’ll make you sick.”

“No it won’t. You just have to follow the plan. But forget that. What did you do to Noah? He flew out of here spitting words I’m sure you don’t want me to repeat.”

“He can’t handle jealousy. Can I borrow your cell phone?”

Zoe rammed her fists onto her hips. “Why?”

“To call for pizza,” Stacey snapped. “There’s nothing to eat here.”

“You’re not calling for pizza, you’re fixing to call Calvin.”

“So what if I do? Just because you and Noah can’t handle the fact that I have a boyfriend doesn’t mean I’m going to change the way I feel.”

Zoe spat out her own choice words.

“Just let me use the phone. Please?”

“No. You’re going to ask Calvin to come get you. Why can’t you just have some fun? Why does everything have to be about stupid Calvin?”

“You can stay. I don’t care. Go talk to Noah.”

“You’re throwing away that gorgeous guy for some dumpy farm boy. I told you before, Stacey, you stay with Calvin, you’ll end up married and fat with a pack of babies hanging all over you.”

Nathan came into the kitchen, his thick eyebrows raised. “Hey, what’s going on?”

Stacey ignored him. “Maybe I
want
to marry Calvin and have babies with him.”

“You’re joking, right?”

“Maybe I don’t want to go to fashion design school. Maybe I really want to draw and paint and put my artwork in museums.”

“You did
not
just say that.”

Nathan put both arms between them and nudged them apart. “Okay, the two of you brought way too much drama into my place. Back off, ladies.”

Zoe shifted over so she could still glare at Stacey. “Fine. I’ll just go tell Noah he better stay away from you.”

“Go. I don’t care.”

“And I am
not
going to California or New York with you.”

Stacey shrugged. “I didn’t want to go anyway.”

A vile name flew out of Zoe’s mouth as she whirled away with her palms raised.

Stacey sniffed. Every part of her trembled. She realized Nathan still stood there, looking down at her.