Running on Empty (8 page)

Two hours and one fall in the toilet later by Miss Harlow Reed (for which I knowingly misplace the blame onto my children), I close the door as Harlow leaves. When I’m confident she’s gone, I migrate to the attic to pull out a box full of random things I kept from my time with Derek. Old letters, dried flowers, movie tickets, etc. I don’t know why, but I just feel the need to go through it right now. Maybe it’s because Harlow just drilled the fact that Derek is
indeed
dead into my head tonight.

Flashlight in hand, I walk across the attic floor. I notice a box sitting in the corner that I don’t recognize. It’s simply labeled “Alex’s Stuff.” Hmm…whoever was in charge of labeling on moving day really needed to be reassigned to do something else.

I open the box and it is mainly stuff from my childhood room: dolls, cassette tapes, yearbooks…

Digging around, I notice an old shoe box at the bottom. I pull it out and open it. In the box there are many pieces of paper, different shapes and sizes, with writing all over them. Below them, something shiny catches my eye. I shift the papers over and pull the silver object out of the box. I let out a small gasp.

In my hand is the charm bracelet that Blake had given me when we were kids. He worked for years and years on it.

Oh.My.God. How could I have forgotten?

And how could I have just thrown it in a box?

I look at each charm and smile. I remember every single one. Blake would get a charm anytime we went anywhere. He would buy them when he went on summer and winter vacations with his family. He would even buy them on random occasions, making his mom take him all over to find just the right one. And since this started when we were around seven years old, there were a lot of charms, five or six year’s worth of them. I flip through them quickly to find my favorite charm. Blake gave it to me when we were thirteen years old.

We went to the lake that day to go fishing, something we always did in the summers…and since school was about to start we wanted to get as much fishing time in as we could. Enjoying the morning sun, we were both sitting in the boat, silently enjoying it as it rocked back and forth, when I felt a sudden tug on my line. I yanked the pole back and I could feel the fish fighting me; it felt like a big one. I jumped up with excitement and started bringing it in. As I reeled it out of the water, I threw my fishing pole to the side, grabbing the line with one hand and the fish in the other. Trying to unhook the fish’s mouth, I could feel the fish wiggling out of my grasp.

“Blake! Help me! I’m about to lose the fish,” I yelled frantically as I tried to get the hook out of its mouth. But it was too late. The fish fell and started flopping all over the bottom of the boat. We both dropped to our knees in an effort to catch it, but neither one of us could grab it, it kept slipping out of our hands. Finally, it must have unhooked itself because it flipped and flopped its way out of the boat, but we didn’t care. We were laughing so hard we could hardly breathe. We both ended up on our bellies facing each other.

Finally, when we managed to stop laughing, we just stopped and stared at each other. I noticed how his hair was a lot lighter in the summer, which made his green eyes even more beautiful. I was lost in his eyes when suddenly, he leaned in and gave me a tiny peck on the cheek. Before I could say anything, he rose to his feet so quickly it made me dizzy. Well, it was either that or the rocking of the boat when he got up. Either way, Blake Morgan just kissed me on the cheek. I could feel the heat on my face as I stood back up in the middle of the boat, but I said nothing.

Blake and I both acted like nothing happened for the rest of the day. We soon went back to normal, joking and laughing with each other. We left after a couple of hours, eventually going our separate ways.

Right before dinner, there was a knock on my front door. I went to answer it, expecting Harlow. But when I opened the door, there was no one there. There was, however, a box placed on the welcome mat. I picked it up and untied the red ribbon that held it closed. Sitting in a patch of white fluff was a fishing pole charm and a note that simply said:

With tears in my eyes, I stare at the bracelet as the lost memory runs its course through my mind. Then realization sets in.

I think I know now why Blake Morgan hates me so much. About a week after he left me that charm, Derek Meyer walked into both of our lives and all of this was completely forgotten….

Forgotten until this very moment.

Climbing into bed, I can’t help but think about my relationship with Blake. We were extremely close growing up. I do remember that. Harlow’s words run over and over in my mind.

“Do you remember how much he cared about you back then? Even as young as we were, he would’ve done anything for you.”

Freakin’ Harlow.

I totally blame this lack of sleep on the exhausting five hour lecture I just received. And I will be blaming her tomorrow when I am a raging bitch at work. Perfect payback for tonight’s torture session.

“Do you remember how much he cared about you back then?”

Her words keep bouncing around in my head.

I begin to think back to that last summer with Blake before Derek entered the picture. While remembering that sweet peck on the cheek, I notice my cheeks, even now, start to warm. I think about the sweet gesture of the charm and a smile breaks across my face.

What the hell am I doing? I can’t be thinking like this.

Aggravated with myself, I roll over and shut my eyes. I don’t have this luxury. And I won’t pretend that I do.

But boy…it sure would be nice, I think to myself as I finally fall asleep.

“Ma’am, this is Officer Sanchez from the Round Rock Police Department. Are you the wife of a Mr. Derek Meyer?”

“Yes I am. Who is this?”

“Mrs. Meyer…I’m afraid there’s been an accident.”

“An accident? What kind of accident?” Harlow places her coffee mug down on her desk and walks into my office. She gently shuts the door behind her, her widened eyes meeting mine.

“Ma’am, we’re gonna need you to come to Round Rock Medical Center. Your husband has been involved in a pretty severe vehicular accident and was airlifted to the hospital this morning. Ma’am, if you could find someone to drive you, I suggest you get here as soon as you can. We can call the Waco P.D. and see if we can get an officer to bring you if you’d like. But we’ll need you to get on the road as soon as possible.”

I begin gasping for air, but it doesn’t work. I can’t breathe. I start to fan my face to try to get some air in my lungs. I still can’t breathe. This isn’t happening. I look at Harlow as a river of tears begins to flow down my cheeks. I attempt to speak to Officer Sanchez.

“No,” I say as I take in a much needed breath. “I have someone who can bring me. We’re on our way.”

Harlow, keys already in hand, grabs the phone from me and hangs it up. “What happened, Alex? Is it Derek? Is he okay? Where is he?”

“Harlow, Derek was airlifted to Round Rock Medical Center this morning. He was in a car accident.” Every part of my body is shaking now. I can’t feel anything but my own heart beat, pulsating in my head. My hands are balled into fists by my side, and I feel my nails start to slice through the palms of my hands.

Then it starts to actually sink in.

“We have to hurry, Harlow. Please, we need to go,” I say rushing toward the door. “I need to see him.”

She follows me to the door and stops. “We’ll make it, honey. Try to calm down. We don’t know anything yet.” She takes in a long breath through her nose and exhales. I’m not sure if the breathing is more for me or for her. “Listen, I know it’s hard, but you need to focus on being strong. It isn’t going to help him any to see you like this. So you have about an hour to compose yourself.”

She places her hands on my shoulders. “I’m right here. I’ll be right beside you the entire time. So take a breath, unclench your fists because I think you’re bleeding…seriously…and let’s go,” she says with a weak smile. She opens the door and then wraps her arms around my shoulders. “Everything will be okay.”

I squeeze her tightly in response. “God Harlow, I hope so. I can’t imagine my life or the girls’ lives without Derek. He’s everything to us, Harlow. He’s all we know.”

“I know, Alex. Try to stay positive. And try to remember to breathe.” She pauses to give me another quick squeeze.

“Now, let’s get you to Derek, sweetie. Chin up.” Harlow removes her arms from around me and puts her hand under my chin forcing me to look at her. She peers into my eyes.

“You can do this, Alex.” I look at her determined face and I know she’s right. I let out a sigh blowing the hair out of my face. “Okay, we can do this. Let’s get going.”

As we start out the door, I grab Harlow’s hand. “He’ll be okay, Harlow. Right?”

Smiling a little more confidently and giving my hand a quick squeeze back, she simply replies, “Positive thoughts only my friend.”