Rush (28 page)

Chapter 23

Six weeks after I broke up with Trent,
he caught me when I was on my way from my French literature class to the dining
hall for lunch. Max and I didn’t have any classes together this term, so I
typically didn’t see him until the afternoon, thus giving Trent an opportunity
to catch me unawares.

He caught up with me right after I left
the foreign language building. My French lit class had ended and I was on my
way through the January drizzle to the dining hall. I had my hat pulled down so
far the brim narrowed my field of vision, so I didn’t see him dashing toward
me. I just heard his voice.

“Caroline!”

I turned before I realized who it was.
He had a baseball cap pulled low over his eyes and a blue running jacket that I
didn’t recognize. But I knew him instantly.

I paused, dreading the encounter. “Hi,
Trent.”

“How’ve you been?”

“Fine. Good.” I smiled politely. “How
are you?”

“I’m okay. Are you on the way to a
class?”

“Um...no.” Why did I have to be so
honest? I should have lied.

People were walking around us like we
were rocks in the center of a fast-moving stream. They paid no attention to us,
but I still didn’t want to have any kind of conversation with Trent in such a
public place.

“I’d like to talk to you for a few,” he
said. “Catch up.”

“There’s really nothing to catch up.”

“Just as friends?”

That was exactly what Max used to say to
me, before we became romantically involved. I lifted my brows. “Friends?”

“Look, I know things didn’t end so well
between us, but I’d like to think we’re still friends,” Trent said earnestly.

I pursed my lips. “Okay. I guess we can
be friends. But you should know I’m seeing Max.”

He gave a solemn nod. “Yeah. I know.”

“Okay. Well, I’d better go.” I took a
step forward.

“Can I buy you lunch?” he said, matching
me.

Oh, boy. “Trent, I don’t think that’s a
good idea.”

“Aw, come on. I just need to talk to you
for a few minutes.”

“You’re talking to me now.”

“Yeah, but there’s no privacy here.”

That was exactly what I’d been thinking.
However, I didn’t like where he seemed to be going with it.

“I don’t see why we need privacy,” I
said. “We’re just friends. Besides, Tiffani wouldn’t be happy if you went off
alone with me.”

“Yeah, about that. Things aren’t going
so well with her.”

I glanced at him. He wasn’t looking at
me and the expression on his face was neutral, giving nothing away.

“I hadn’t heard,” I said.

“I thought maybe Paige had told you.”

“No. She’s been busy with Dan, so I
haven’t seen much of her. And because of Tiff, I haven’t been to my house, so I’m
out of the loop.”

Trent grabbed my hand and pulled me off
the sidewalk and under the prickly canopy of a massive Douglas fir tree. “Actually,
she broke up with me,” he said, gazing watchfully into my face.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t you want to know why?”

I pulled my hand from his grasp. “Not
really.”

“She said I wasn’t over you.”

I took a deep breath. “Trent—”

“We were good together, Caroline.”

“No, we weren’t. You said I was frigid,
remember?”

He rolled his head to the side, his eyes
closing briefly. I wasn’t sure if the gesture was supposed to convey sorrow or
irritation. “I didn’t mean it. I was just angry.”

“But it was true. I didn’t respond to
you.”

His eyes snapped to mine. “What does
that mean?”

“It means we’re not very well matched.”

“That’s not true.” He reached out and
recaptured my hand. “I miss you. All the time.”

“I’m with Max. And I’m happy.”

He scowled at me. “You can’t be happy
with him. Not possible.”

I struggled not to laugh in his face. “It’s
totally possible. Max is a great guy. I’m not interested in leaving him, if
that’s what you’re implying.”

“But—”

“Trent, it didn’t work with us. Let it
go.”

“I can’t let it go. I need you. Please,
Caroline, give me another chance.”

He seemed genuinely sincere and it hurt
me to disappoint him. But I couldn’t go back to the loveless, sexless existence
I’d had before Max came into my life.

“I care about you,” I said. “But I can’t
be your girlfriend. I’m sorry Tiffani wasn’t the one for you, but I’m sure
there will be others. Just not me.”

I tugged at my hand until he released
me. Before he could resume his campaign to get me back, I strode from under the
tree and into the foot traffic headed toward the student union. I didn’t look
back. I didn’t want to give him the idea I regretted my decision or that there
was any wiggle room.

***

When I got to the student union, I
noticed my hands were trembling a little. I got in line at the sub shop and
hauled out my phone to send a text to Max.

Hey. Saw Trent just now.

He answered immediately.
R u ok?

Fine. No. Upset.

At the student Union?

Yes. The commons.

Be right there

I’d just reached the front of the line
when Max slid an arm around my waist and kissed me on the temple. “You okay,
baby?”

I leaned into him and lifted my face for
a kiss on the mouth. “I’ll be fine.”

“He didn’t threaten you, did he?”

“No. I’ll tell you in a minute.”

We ordered sandwiches and took them to a
booth at the edge of the commons, where we had at least a smidgen of privacy. The
place hummed with the voices of all the students who came here for lunch or
snacks between classes, not to mention the people who conducted their study
groups here. In a way, the noise level was a good thing, because it made it
difficult to pick out any single conversation, so it was unlikely anyone would be
listening to what we said.

We sat down next to each other,
shoulders touching, and ate quietly for a few minutes. Then Max put his
sandwich down and took my hand. “So what did he say?”

“Tiffani broke up with him. He wants me
to come back.”

“Are you going to do it?” he said
quietly.

I turned to him as my mouth fell open. “Of
course not. How could you think that?”

He studied me soberly. “You went out
with him for a whole year. I figured you might still be attached.”

“No. Not like that.”

“So you are attached in some way?”

I shook my head. “No. I’m not attached
to him. I’m attached to you.”

He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed
it. “I’m glad to hear you say that.”

“Max, I have no romantic interest in
Trent. I’m not sure I ever did.”

His black brows descended. “Why did you
go out with him, then?”

“I don’t know. I’ve asked myself that
question over and over. I guess he just seemed like the kind of guy I
should
be dating, you know? The kind of guy my parents would approve of.”

“And I’m not,” he said dryly.

“They don’t know you very well yet. Once
they do, they’ll love you just like I do.”

He leaned close, a smile beginning to
light his eyes. “I hope not
just
like you do,” he murmured in my ear
before biting my earlobe.

I yelped, then laughed. “Stop that.”

“I can’t help myself. Every time I see
you, I want to take a bite.”

People were looking at us because of the
noise I’d made. I felt my whole body heating with embarrassment as Max
continued to nuzzle me behind my ear and along the length of my neck.

“I love it when you wear your hair up
like this,” he murmured. “With all the little curls escaping.”

He really did seem to like my hair, a
concept I found amazing. His lips made a warm, erotic trail along my neck and I
found myself beginning to ache and sigh in spite of our audience. Everything he
did, every touch, felt like heaven to me. I lifted my hand and buried my
fingers in the silk of his hair.

My gaze lifted and met Trent’s as he
stalked through the commons toward us. His blue eyes were narrowed and even from
several yards away, I could see his jaw clenching rhythmically. My fingers
tensed in Max’s hair.

“Ow,” he said, lifting his head.

He saw Trent and went still, his hand
tightening around mine. The blond slid into the booth across from us and leaned
back, folding his hands on the table top as if it belonged to him. He smiled
unpleasantly.

“What do you want, Trent?” I said.

“It just occurred to me that you
probably don’t know,” he said.

“Know what?”

“Why Max went after you.”

“Don’t do this,” I said.

“He did it to get to me.”

“Knock it off, Trent,” I said uneasily. “You
know that isn’t true.”

My stomach churned and my head began to
ache. This was the same story he’d told me when he’d first explained Max’s
relationship to him and it pissed me off he was dragging it out again.

“Tell her, Max.” Trent’s smile turned
mocking. “I know it’s true, so you might as well confess.”

“Tell him he’s full of shit,” I said,
turning to Max.

Something in his face made me pause. It
looked like...guilt. My mouth opened as my body flushed hot, and then icy cold.

“Max?”

He gazed at me, his beautiful ocean-dark
eyes full of regret. “I wanted you, Caro. From the first minute I saw you.”

“But...why are you looking at me like
that?”

Trent snorted, an ugly sound. “Because
he doesn’t want to admit the truth. That he pursued you to get revenge on me.”

I was staring at Max and I knew my face
was full of doubt and mistrust, because that’s how I felt. The morning after
our first night together came back to me, the way he’d tried to break things
off before they’d really gotten started. He’d sounded kind of guilty then and I
hadn’t been able to make sense of it. In light of Trent’s accusation and the
expression currently on Max’s face, it was beginning to make sense after all.

“It’s true, isn’t it?” I said in a
choked voice. I felt sick.

Max closed his eyes briefly. When he
opened them again, I knew Trent was right.

“I wanted to be near you,” he said. “No
matter what it took.”

“But you wanted to hurt Trent, didn’t
you?” I edged away from him until I was sitting on the very limit of the bench
seat.

Max swallowed. His eyes were so sad. I
don’t think I’d ever seen him sadder. “Yes.”

I stood up, hoisting my backpack to my
shoulder. My hands shook. “You lied to me. All that garbage about love. It was
a lie.”

“No. That was never a lie.” His voice
sounded dead. “I love you.”

Even now, he wouldn’t admit the truth.
How could he look at me and say those words after what he’d done?

“Bullshit, Max.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see
Trent smirking. I hated him as much as I now despised his stepbrother.

“It’s true,” Max said. “I love you. I’ll
always love you.”

“Don’t. Say. That.” I took a step
backward. “I don’t want to see you again. I don’t want to speak to you or hear
your voice. Don’t come near me.” I spun on my heel and walked away.

My throat hurt. My heart hurt. My eyes
stung, but for some reason I wasn’t crying. That seemed wrong. I should be
crying. I’d just lost the love of my life.

It had all been an elaborate game to
him, a game he was apparently still playing. All of the tenderness, the
passion, the declarations of love, all lies. The knowledge tore me apart
inside. I moved blindly through the commons, bumping my hip into a table
without stopping, slamming through the door and into the rain outside.

Cold water fell relentlessly on my bare
head. I ignored it. The icy pinpricks of the raindrops perfectly matched my
mood, although I wasn’t even sure how to define that mood.

Anger. Rage. Grief. Despair. I seemed to
be drowning in so many emotions I couldn’t make sense of any of them.
Razor-like claws were ripping a hole inside me. I couldn’t imagine anything
ever filling that hole, ever making me well again. It was like my world had
been destroyed in one little conversation.

“Caroline, wait!”

God, not Trent. I kept on walking.

“Wait a minute. Are you all right?”