Ryker (The Ride #4) (2 page)

My best friend, first kiss, first love, first
everything
.

“He didn’t look too pleased to see me,” I mumbled. More like really freaking pissed.

“Give him some time,” she replied, her knowing brown eyes warm on mine.

I shook my head. “I don’t think time will help.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, the shirt she’d been folding poised in midair.

I sighed, scrubbing a hand over my face. “He’s made it glaringly clear over the years that he has no interest in having anything to do with me. Believe me, I tried. Can we not talk about Ryker right now?” I pleaded.

“Okay, honey. Things any better with your dad?”

“Nope.” I shook my head. “But I haven’t even been home a month. I’m hoping with time maybe he’ll come around,” I replied, not believing it, but hoping like hell it was true.

“The club’s having a get-together tomorrow night. Why don’t you come?”

I wrinkled my nose at the mention of Ryker’s motorcycle club. “I don’t think Ryker would like that very much.” I sighed, dismissing the idea almost immediately.

She reached out and squeezed my arm. “Ryker’s gonna have to get used to you being home. He’s not your only friend in Hawthorne.” She winked. “The girls were asking about you. Please? Just for a little bit? You deserve to have some fun. There are so many new people for you to meet. You’ll love Scarlet, Kat, and Sophie. And you know our wild lovable Connie would love to see you. Jill’s been asking about you too.”

“Are she…” I tried to get the words out. “Are she and Ry together?” With him picking up her son and handling him with so much familiarity, it’s what I assumed.

“No,” Ettie assured me right away. I was embarrassed by the whoosh of breath I expelled, such was my relief. “She’s Cal’s, whether she admits it or not. But honey, I feel like I should warn you, Ryker hasn’t been… very… selective over the years.”

That same whoosh of air went careening back into my lungs as I considered her words, trying to keep my expression calm despite my inner turmoil. What had I expected? That he’d sat alone and pined for me all these years?

“It’s not my business. It hasn’t been for a long time,” I murmured, despite the bile that rose in my throat at the mere thought of him with someone else.

“Say you’ll come?” she coaxed. “Everyone is going to die over how gorgeous you are. Holy hell, girl!” She grinned.

I snorted, rolling my eyes. “Right. I’ll think about it,” I added noncommittally.

I missed my old friends too. Ryker and I had both spent a lot of the time at the club once Axel, his older brother, had started prospecting. The Knights Motorcycle Club had been an institution in Hawthorne for as long as I could remember.

It was late by the time I locked the doors and headed for the car, the dogs at my heels. I lifted the hatch and they jumped in, tongues lolling with joy to be back on the road.

My phone rang shrilly just as I’d pulled away from the curb. “Hello?” I answered over speakerphone. My car was far too old for any of that Bluetooth nonsense.

“Piper? It’s Pete. Your dad’s down here. He’s on a tear and I….” he drifted off.

“I’ll be there in five minutes,” I answered, pressing my foot to the gas.

Pete and I had gone to school together, though he was a few years older. He’d stayed in town, opened two successful businesses, including a bar my dad had begun frequenting recently. One of the many reasons I’d moved back home.

I swept into the dimly lit space, spotting my dad hunched over the bar.

“Sorry, Pipe, I hate to call you for this but I promised I would,” Pete spoke up, stepping alongside me and throwing an arm around me.

“I appreciate you keeping your word,” I answered, squeezing his waist affectionately before letting go. “How long has he been here?”

“Hours.” Pete sighed.

I fought the bitter disappointment and moved quickly to acceptance.

I nodded and stepped forward. “Dad?” I asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.

His red-rimmed eyes swung lazily to me. “Piper?” His voice was slurred as he fought to focus on me.

“Yep. Let’s go home, okay?” I asked gently, as the door swung open behind me. I winced, hoping it was no one I knew. The bar was still relatively quiet at this hour, with only a few regulars, who were too deep in their own misery to pay any mind to us. The last thing I needed was a lucid audience.

He nodded, rising to stand on unsteady feet.

“Why don’t you go get the car warmed up?” Pete suggested.

“I…” I swallowed, looking up at him, unable to convey my gratitude.

“I know, honey.” He smiled. “Go on.”

I nodded, pushing through the bar doors and out into the frigid night air. Just as I was moving to my side of the car, the sound of a motorcycle tore through the night.

Oh God, please, please don’t let that be him. Please don’t let it be him,
I silently chanted, squeezing my eyes shut with my forehead pressed to the side of the car.

I risked a glance up when the sound of the motor cut. My heart stopped, then restarted at a chaotic pace when I confirmed what I’d already known. I’d always been attuned to him—it was no different now.

If it were possible, he’d gotten even more handsome. He’d been a great-looking boy, but he was a heartbreakingly gorgeous man.

Ryker swung off his bike with a fluidity that countered his formidable frame. He swept his dark brown hair back from his face, leaving it perfectly tousled as his green eyes moved from me to my dad. As always, my heart pounded at the sight of him. My body reacted to him as it always had—if anything, my response had grown more intense over time.

“What’s going on?” he demanded, his eyes narrowed on Pete, who was struggling to get my dad over to the car. His confused expression grew exasperated. “Again?” he muttered incredulously.

“What do you mean, again?” I asked, confused, as I watched him walk over to help Pete.

“Before you got back into town, Ry came a few times to help get Mike home,” Pete explained.

“Would you shut up?” Ryker demanded, obviously not pleased that Pete had shared that information.

Pete looked over at him, surprised. “Sorry, dude,” he muttered. They continued to shuffle my dad to the car, lowering him in carefully and making sure he didn’t hit his head.

I felt my cheeks burn with shame that my dad was so drunk he couldn’t get himself in the car and that this wasn’t the first time either of them had seen this.

“Thanks,” I managed, unable to look at either of them. “I’ll try to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

“Hey, Pipe, not your fault,” Pete replied easily, and I was very grateful for his kindness.

My eyes drifted to Ryker; I couldn’t help it. I felt hungry for the mere sight of him. The loss of him was like a living thing, which had continued to grow over time. He seemed content to watch me starve.

When it was clear he didn’t plan on speaking to me—no surprise there—I got in the car and drove away, feeling his startling eyes track my every move.

I heard the rumble of the bike start up behind me. He wouldn’t, would he? I sat up straighter, staring incredulously into the rearview mirror. He was following me home.

His bike growled to a stop as I pulled into the driveway.

I sighed and looked briefly over at my dad, who was passed out cold.

Great.

“What are you doing?” I asked, confused, as I got out of the car and moved to the passenger side.

“You gonna carry him inside yourself?” Ry countered, raising a brow expectantly.

“That’s the plan.” I nodded, stubbornly.

He chuckled without humor. “Shit. I’m kinda tempted to stand here and watch you try to do that, but I’d rather not see you break your neck,” he shot back with a glint in his eye.

“After everything, you think this is hard?” I murmured, my eyes looking off to the side before forcing myself to look at him straight on in muted challenge.

Any trace of humor left his face in a flash. “No, I don’t imagine it is,” he responded quietly, moving closer and stooping low to hoist my dad up. He grunted at my dad’s dead weight as he half pulled, half carried him inside.

I would have never been able to do that, but I wasn’t about to say so.

I let the dogs out of the car and they followed Ryker with a familiarity that made me wonder how often he’d been here.

He deposited my dad on the couch in lieu of carrying him upstairs. “Night, Mike,” he said quietly, putting a blanket over my father in a gesture so kind and tender. For a second I got a glimpse at my old Ryker and my heart lurched with longing.

“Wait,” I called, when he’d reached the door and pulled it open.

He looked over his shoulder, his expression cool. “What, Pipe? I’m kind of in a hurry—got someone waiting on me.”

I winced. I didn’t doubt that was true; I also didn’t want to think about it.

“Thank you for taking care of my dad,” I murmured, clasping my hands in front of me in an effort not to fidget.

“Somebody had to,” he shot back.

I felt like he’d physically struck me, his words harsh and unexpected. “I had no idea it was this bad!” I growled, incensed at his insinuation. I pointed a finger at him angrily. “You know I would have been here.” I ground out the last part as the tears welled.

For the briefest of moments his expression softened before the hard look was back on his face.

“Yeah well, don’t let him choke or anything,” he grunted, as he stalked out the door.

“Please, Ry, I can’t stand that you hate me so much,” I burst out, the tears falling freely now, as I followed him outside onto the driveway.

“I don’t hate you, go back inside,” he ordered, his back still to me.

“No.” I shook my head adamantly. “I know I left all those years ago, but I also never shut you out. You’re the one who would never answer my calls after I left. You avoided me every time I was back home. Now I’m going through the hardest time of my life and you’re treating me like this?” I demanded, wiping at my eyes, my movements jerky as I lost any semblance of control.

He spun to face me, his chest heaving. “You fucking left me!” he roared, turning the full force of his hurt and anger on me. His eyes raged with it as he glared down at me.

I reeled back, his outburst taking me by surprise before I recovered, meeting his heated gaze with a hurt and anger all my own. “I left because I loved you so goddamned much!” I cried. “I still do.” I rasped the words before I could stop myself, and they hung between us in the cool night air.

“That makes no fucking sense,” he grated out.

I hung my head, trying to get my breathing under control. I wanted to lay it all out for him, I was desperate for him to understand, but he wouldn’t hear me—not now.

He stooped low, his face mere inches from mine as he pointed a finger in my face. “You made the decision to walk away. You can’t expect to come back and have me pick up the pieces for you.”

“I don’t expect that,” I managed to say over the huge lump in my throat. “You’ve made it perfectly clear over the years that you don’t want me in your life. Your silence spoke volumes,” I rasped. I looked up at him, meeting his anger and torment head on, needing to get the words out. “Regardless of how your feelings changed—mine never did.”

“Fuck this, I can’t deal with this bullshit,” he growled, stalking to his bike and shooting off down my street in a whir of motion and sound.

I stood in the driveway for a long time after he left, letting the tears fall freely, a sense of loss washing over me so acute, it was nearly crippling. I’d lost him years ago but it still felt so fresh, the wounds just as ugly as they lay open against so many others.

I needed to close them. But I knew closing them would mean letting him go and despite what he may think, I’d never been able to do that—truth was, I didn’t want to.

Chapter 3

S
ometime in the early morning hours my dad had made his way up to his room, where he remained holed up with the shades pulled. I hadn’t seen them open since I’d been home. I’d checked on him a few times before leaving him be.

“All right then, plan B,” Ettie had stated bizarrely when I’d told her there was no way in Hell I was going anywhere near Ryker that evening, which meant there was no chance I was going to the club for a BBQ.

“Plan B?” I asked in confusion.

“The girls are all going for drinks.”

I sighed. “Ettie, I don’t want you guys changing your plans for me. And I’m not sure I should leave my dad.” I fretted.

“Pipe, you’ve been home almost a month; all you’ve done is work and take care of him. You need to have some form of a life and if you won’t make that happen, I will,” she replied firmly. “Meet us at Jupiter in an hour,” she ordered, hanging up before I could argue further.

I stared at the phone in shock for a moment before feeling a smile ghost across my lips. Ettie had always been a spitfire. Despite my reservations, I knew if I didn’t show up, she’d come to me. Might as well give in.

I surveyed myself in the mirror as I finished getting ready. Jupiter was casual, but because this was the first time I’d gone out since being back in town, I paid extra attention to my look.

After a few years in Los Angeles, I liked to think I’d somewhat perfected the bohemian-rock-chick look.

I eyed my blue jeans, vintage tee and chunky necklace with satisfaction. My ankle boots and leather jacket would finish the look. I’d lost weight in the last year and I needed to put some pounds back on to fill the outfit out the way I’d prefer to. For now it would have to do.

I left my long sandy-blonde hair down and wild, my hazel eyes framed with light makeup.

“Dad?” I asked quietly, tapping on his bedroom door. “I’m going out for a little while. Will you be okay?”

“Yes, honey,” his muffled, tired-sounding voice replied. “Have fun.”

I winced, feeling bad for leaving him. Not that I could do much from outside the door. I squared my shoulders against the guilt and headed downstairs to my car.

I wouldn’t be of any use to him if I drowned right along with him.

On the short drive over I realized I was nervous to meet up with the girls. Aside from Jill, their men were all in the MC and they were a tight crew. More like a family. I knew Ettie and Connie well, had met Jill more than once at day care, but I still felt a bit like an outsider despite having been born and raised in Hawthorne.