Authors: Louise Stone
‘That’s her name, that’s the woman who took you.’ My heart wrung out with guilt and panic. ‘I’m sorry I let it happen. She’s mad.’
Amy furrowed her brow and nodded. ‘OK, Mummy.’
‘OK.’ I forced a smile. ‘I’m going to find her.’
‘Mummy, I don’t want to die, I can hear the water … I’m scared.’ She let out a small whimper and closed her eyes.
I knew she was getting increasingly cold, her body had taken on a blue tinge, and her eyelids fluttered as she tried to keep them open.
‘OK, I’m going to get you out of here.’ I indicated toward the dirt track; the black pluming smoke of the burning car a little way beyond that. ‘You are so much braver than the princess I told you about.’
I glanced over the side looking for Polly and, as I stepped backward again, rubble and stones fell into the water below. The moon shone brightly, glinting off the seawater and I could just make out a black silhouette sat on a ledge further down. The narrow rock shelf jutted out precariously above the dark eddying water.
‘She’s down there,’ I whispered to Amy, my breathing heavy, as I watched the stone face shift beneath me again.
‘Where?’ Her eyelids opened slowly and she strained to look.
‘On the rocks.’
Amy, thankfully, couldn’t see what I could: Polly had made her way silently down the rock face and now stood looking up at us.
I closed my eyes, despair washing over me. In the distance, I thought I could hear the sound of a car approaching. Carefully, I peeled myself away from the cliff edge and stood up, so happy the police had found us of their own accord.
A black Mercedes sped toward us and I repositioned myself in front of Amy. The car came to a standstill and I waited, my skin crawling with fear. A leg emerged from the car. It was a man.
‘Paul,’ I gasped, ‘what the hell are you doing here?’
‘I got your voicemail.’ He shook his head, his face flooded with concern. ‘I couldn’t live with myself if something happened.’
I didn’t remember leaving a voicemail with Paul. ‘I didn’t.’
‘You did, Sophie. It sounded like you had been drinking. You told me you came back to where Bethany died. The cliff.’ His voice cracked. ‘How did you know she killed herself here?’ He looked out at the sea: black waves sucking everything away with them. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. ‘God, what an awful way to die.’ He studied my face. ‘Sophie, we need to go home now.’
‘I didn’t call you!’ I gave a small shake to my head. ‘I’ve found Amy though, but you need to help me.’
Paul gasped and alarm and confusion simultaneously crossed his face as he spotted his daughter lying a few metres from me.
‘Oh my god.’ His breathing was quick and shallow. ‘What have you done?’
‘What? What do you mean? Polly did this.’ My hand rested on my forehead.
‘Amy, darling. I’m here.’ He ran over to her and scooped her up.
‘Daddy!’ She smiled at him despite everything and it tore at my heart. She was so brave. ‘Help me.’ Amy looked at me now. ‘Please help me, Daddy.’
Paul stepped toward me with Amy in his arms. ‘Who the fuck is Polly?’
‘There’s a woman down there. Polly. She stalked me and Bethany at university, she’s the one who killed Bethany. And she’s about to do something stupid again.’
He watched me for a few seconds. ‘Bethany?’ He shook his head. ‘Oh for god’s sake, it doesn’t matter now. Where, Sophie? Where is this woman?’
‘Down there.’ I pointed. ‘She’s not very well. She hears voices. Or, at least, that’s what we were told. She’s suffered with schizophrenia for most of her life and this,’ I gestured to Amy, ‘is because she has stopped taking her medication. She’s never been good about taking it. Or, at least, that’s what I was told at university.’ I looked at him, hoping he was beginning to understand the urgency of the situation.
‘Sophie, let’s just get Amy out of here, OK?’ He indicated his car.
‘She’s got a gun, Paul,’ I said, ‘You can’t do anything sudden. We can’t provoke her in case she harms us. She’ll do it Paul, honestly. She hallucinates.’
It was all coming back to me: one night in our third year of university. The kind doctor in the hospital had explained it to me; that Polly had attempted to take her own life because of Bethany and me.
‘Fine. Well, let’s call the police. They need to know we’ve found Amy. That the woman who had her is here.’ He paused. ‘When did this woman last take any medication?’ Paul’s voice was high, the panic clear. ‘Did she say?’
‘I don’t know. My guess is a while ago. Maybe weeks,’ I said. ‘It’s all my fault.’
‘Why is it your fault?’ he said, his frustration mounting.
‘I should have remembered, I should have guessed that she had been so obsessed with Bethany, so why wouldn’t she be obsessed with me, too?’
‘Oh, for fuck’s sake, I’m getting you both out of here.’
‘Paul,’ I breathed heavily, then realised he was right: this was my fight, my problem. ‘You’re right, forget Polly, get Amy out of here. Now!’
‘No, you’re both coming with me.
Both
of you.’
I watched as Paul shifted Amy’s limp body into one arm and came toward me, grabbing my wrist with his free hand.
I gasped, took a step forward, tried to wriggle free from his steadfast grip. ‘What are you doing? Just get Amy out of here.’ My eyes flicked toward our daughter. ‘I’ll deal with this.’
‘What happened there?’ He nodded his head toward the smoke.
‘My car spun out of control.’
‘Oh god.’ He looked at me, his face filled with determination. ‘Sophie, this ends now. You’re coming with me.’
I ignored him, tried to get him to understand he needed to leave with Amy. Get our daughter to a place of safety. ‘Polly was in there too. We hit a tree …’ I searched Paul’s face, adrenaline rushing around my body at high speed: like a band ready to snap. ‘But she’s down there now, she made it away from the car, down the rock face. Can you see her?’
‘Sophie,’ Paul looked at me, his face as desperate as I felt, ‘we need to forget about Polly and go.’
Amy whimpered and Paul walked over to his car and very gently lay Amy on the back seat, covering her in a blanket.
‘Come on, Sophie.’ He strode back over, his steps full of purpose.
‘No, you two have to go now.’ I looked at Amy. ‘She needs to be taken to a hospital, get her checked over.
‘Not without you. Come on, let’s go.’ Paul peered into the murky crevasse. ‘I can’t see her, Sophie, where is she?’
‘Down there. You see where the rock juts out?’
Paul shook his head. ‘No.’ Then he shouted down, ‘What do you want from us, Polly?’
Silence.
I realised then it was up to me, she didn’t want to talk to Paul. She wanted to talk to me. ‘Let me go. She won’t talk to you, she doesn’t know you.’
Paul glanced back at Amy and then at me. ‘Sophie, I’m not going to let you go down there alone.’
‘Just leave with Amy whilst I distract her. She’s got a gun.’ I looked at him, my eyes searching his desperately. ‘Please.’
Turning away from him, I started to slowly clamber down the rock face, my feet scrabbling against the slippery, rough surface. The rain was no longer distinguishable from the sea spray that stung my face like thousands of tiny needles. My hands had gone numb with cold and my skin was raw from clutching the rocky outcrops. When I reached Polly, she was backing precariously over the edge.
‘Get him away from here! This is not about Paul. Get rid of him,’ Polly screamed at me.
I could feel sweat forming around my hairline despite the rain and icy temperature.
‘Maybe you’d like to talk?’ I suggested.
‘No, Sophie, there’s nothing to talk about. This is where it all ends. You die here, the same way Bethany died here.’
I gulped, moved a couple of steps closer. ‘What do you want from me?’
A hysterical laugh echoed around the rocks. ‘Do you want to save your precious little girl? Like you weren’t able to save Bethany all those years ago.’
‘Please, Polly,’ I pleaded. ‘I need to understand what I’ve done wrong.’ Polly didn’t say anything and I risked a glance at Paul, up at the top of the cliff. He was on his
phone, he’d clearly managed to get some signal. I hoped Polly hadn’t seen. I didn’t know what she might do.
‘OK, we can talk,’ Polly said, ‘but you have to come closer.’
My heart beat wildly as I stepped toward the edge. My breath caught as my foot slipped and I threw my arms up, desperately scrabbling in the air for balance. A fresh wave of adrenaline surged through my veins.
The rocks were treacherous, covered in seaweed and algae. Eventually I found a smooth face of rock and made the final slide toward her.
‘Ah, Sophie,’ Polly whispered, ‘so nice of you to join me.’
Her voice took me back twenty years, to that very same gleeful whisper in my ear as she watched my best friend die.
‘Polly.’
I looked down. The waves would show no mercy to anyone as they smashed against the rocks. If you were lucky, you’d fall straight into the water, die on impact. If you weren’t, you’d hit the rocks as you went down before finally plummeting into the dark water. Either way, there was no coming back from the hellish pit below. The further I walked toward the narrowest section of the ledge, the faster the wind lashed past, throwing me off balance. Polly was now stood at the very end.
‘Now can we talk?’ I hollered, the salt from the sea gritty in my mouth.
‘What’s there really to talk about?’ She threw her arms up and manically pointed to the air around her. ‘Do you see them? The others? They’re telling me to kill you too, Sophie. They
hate
you.’
My fingers fumbled against the rock face, struggling to steady myself. ‘When did you stop taking your medication, Polly?’
She laughed wildly. ‘Sophie, you are the person who needs to take their medication. I’m fine without it, so don’t start preaching. When did you stop taking yours?’
‘I stopped a month ago and I’ve been fine without it.’
‘Your demons will come back to get you. Just you wait.’
‘I know I’ve got my demons,’ I said, honestly. ‘But I also know you’re the one who needs help here. Bethany’s dead. There’s nothing here for you, any more.’
‘You still don’t get it!’ She staggered to one side and fell down onto her knees. Against the backdrop of the moon and the cobalt sky, her hair flying off to the side, she actually looked quite beautiful. In fact, I saw Bethany in her. They both had that reckless force that was both scary and alluring.
‘I do because in some ways, I’m just like you!’ I paused. ‘I got jealous of Bethany too sometimes! She was always so beautiful, so in control. Everything I wasn’t. She had her family and I didn’t.’ I thought of Paul, up at the top, looking after Amy, my family. ‘Do your family know you are here, Polly?’
She looked at me suspiciously. ‘Why are you being like this, Sophie? Why are you being so understanding? Why now?’ She looked around her. ‘I always wanted what you and Bethany had. You were like sisters. I wanted that. Bethany never seemed to appreciate she had a family who loved her. Never even appreciated you.’
I gazed at her, as if for the first time. ‘I often felt the same way, that she was ungrateful. My parents were dead, but she never valued hers, never realised how lucky she was.’
‘Mine too,’ Polly admitted, her face lit up by the moon, an indescribable sadness passing over her features. It was like looking at myself.
I nodded, finally feeling as if I understood her. ‘I wanted her looks, her brains, her courage.’
Polly stopped talking, taking this in.
‘Why me though, Polly? Why did you come back for me? After all these years?’
‘Because I know how unhappy you are. It’s time to end everything. Do you think it’s fair to allow everyone to worry about you all the time? Especially Amy …’
‘No,’ I said, shaking, tears beginning to stream down my face. ‘Of course not.’ I thought of my daughter waiting with Paul at the top of the cliff. ‘I only ever wanted to be a good mother, but I can’t do it. She needs more.’
Polly nodded, she jabbed at the air. ‘I want the voices to stop but they keep telling me to do things, you see?’
‘If you want to protect Amy, then why did you kidnap her, Polly? Why did you want to make my daughter suffer?’
‘Because it was the only way to get you to sit up and listen. The only way you would realise that it’s time to let her go. She’s not yours to keep any more. She deserves more.’
I felt guilt wringing at my heart. Maybe she was right. I had to let Amy go, be free of all the problems I brought to her innocent life.
Polly threw her head back, looked up at the sky.
‘Paul’s up there. He’s come to help us. To help me get Amy back.’
She looked back at me, annoyed. ‘I don’t think you’re listening to me, Sophie. You need to let Amy go.’
‘I will,’ I shouted as the wind picked up again. ‘I promise. But I have to get her to hospital first.’ Something shifted in my stomach, a nervous sensation started to build.
‘One last thing. Do you know why Zander employed you?’
‘Because I was good at my job, because,’ I tried to get some saliva moving around my mouth, ‘because I reminded him of Bethany … I was a kind of comfort.’ In my heart, I hated to admit that he might have taken me on for that reason alone, nothing to do with my degree or my ability to do law.
She stood up again and moved toward me. As she did so, the end of the ledge fell away, crashing into the rock below. Polly looked at where she had just been sitting – now air – and turned back to me. She wasn’t frightened at all, I realised.
‘Exactly, that’s what your life has become. No parents, no Amy and a job where you remind someone of their dead daughter. Think about it, Sophie. Is that what you want? Does that sound right to you?’ She laughed. ‘It’s quite macabre, don’t you think? Keeping your dead daughter’s friend on so he never has to really let go. That’s all you are. A reminder of a dead person.’
My head was reeling, unable to believe that for twenty years I had been kept on in a job, given a great office, a fantastic salary, practically bought my house, all because I was just that: a dead woman’s friend. I drew my hands around me, suddenly feeling exactly how wet and cold I actually was. Like a dark shadow had fallen across my path and I couldn’t crawl fast enough to the warmth.