Sacred Burial Grounds (An FBI Romance Thriller (book 2)) (16 page)

“At first she insisted
the baby was mine. Swore on her life, my life, the child’s life, anything to make me believe that the baby belonged to me.” Blackhawk rolled over to face her. “I was nineteen, pissed and angry, and I found something in me I didn’t like. There was this growing violence towards her.” Blackhawk looked into her eyes. “I pride myself on my control, but I didn’t always have it. As a boy I wasn’t as in control.”

Elizabeth said nothing, just let him continue. This was his past and his story to tell
, and she would just support him and be patient.

“I grabbed her by the arms and shook her. For the first time in my life
, I physically put my hands on a woman in anger. I felt all the hate and anger in me, that this woman was accusing me of being my old man. I just snapped and lost it on a pregnant woman.”

She tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear and waited.

“I was so full of rage, Elizabeth.” Blackhawk watched his wife’s eyes and there was no hate or recrimination as he purged his secret sins. There was just calm and understanding, she wasn’t going to judge him, or hate him because he hurt someone else. “As I was shaking her, she started crying and finally through the screaming admitted it all.”

“You weren’t the father?”
Elizabeth had hope rebuilding in her that he didn’t create another child with another woman, and this miracle would be theirs to share together. 

“No, but
she then claimed my brother was,” he admitted as he felt the anger squeeze his heart again. Betrayal by a woman was bad enough but by his own flesh and blood was ten times worse. This is why he didn’t want to come back to this part of the world. The pain still lived in him. The woman didn’t matter, but the brother meant everything and still did.

“Oh, Ethan, I’m so sorry.”

“I packed my bags that night, and I left. I worked three jobs, went to college, finished in half the time, and then applied to the FBI. I was accepted and I never came back, because I never wanted to face the life I left behind or the people.”

Elizabeth kissed him softly.

“I made the FBI my home, my life, and my soul. I didn’t want to trust people, or ever trust a woman again especially not with my heart. I slept with plenty of women, using them and getting them out of my system. I just kept a cool distance,” he paused and continued, “until I found you, and I realized that Kaya Cheek and the rest weren’t the right paths. I was meant to find you and that’s why they didn’t work.”

She curled against him and pulled all of him against her body, as if trying to absorb away some of the pain and make him feel lighter.

“Do you believe all things happen for a reason, Lyzee?” he asked, softly.

“Absolutely, I completely believe it.”

“If my brother didn’t sleep with her and ruin our relationship, I may not have gone into the FBI and landed in Salem on that assignment. I can’t help but want to forgive him. Not for ruining my life, but giving me one. Had I stayed the Rez it had nothing worthwhile for me. Would I have married her and wasted my life? I don’t know, but Callen screwing my girlfriend was the push to do something bigger and better.”

“I think at some point in our lives, when we know it’s time to heal we just figure it out. You can’t rush it.”

Blackhawk knew she was right. “I have a big house, nice cars, and a gorgeous wife that wouldn’t ever betray me. Now I get to be part of a baby we created, and I have to believe that I owe it to him for the push out into the world. Callen’s betrayal was my catalyst in life.”

“Maybe it’s time to forgive him and move on from the pain.”

Blackhawk looked into his wife’s eyes, and suddenly felt lighter. “I think you’re right, baby. I’m ready to let it go. We need to start living the future together. I’m ready to forgive and heal.”

It gave her joy to have him feel at peace. “Is Kaya Cheek still on the reservation?”

“I have no idea, why?”

“Because if I was going to kick your ex’s ass just for calling you names, IMAGINE what I plan on doing to Kaya Cheek, Cowboy,” she drawled and giggled. 

Finally, Blackhawk laughed and then decided he felt like making love to his wife again. Kissing her throat and collarbone he worked his way back up her neck until he found his way to her ear.

“Again, Mr. Blackhawk?” she giggled
more, as he bit her neck and whispered in her ear what he planned on doing with his sexy wife. 

“Yes Mrs. Blackhawk, again.”

~
Chapter Five ~

Thursday Morning

Callen Whitefox had the worst night of sleep in his entire life. The restful sleep changed quickly into dream filled visions of women screaming and begging for their lives. Helplessly he stood in the midst of it unable to assist them, but forced to hear and see their ongoing torture. It was almost as if he was their tormentor, just watching them die one by one and doing nothing, but studying them like lab rats. Each woman was tied to a tree, bleeding from wounds inflicted to their pregnancy swollen bodies, and begging for the life of their unborn children. Frankly, it scared the shit out of him. Never had a dream seemed so real, so violent, and so frightening to him.

Looking in the mirror at his face, it was hard to miss the hollow look his eyes had taken on since the previous night. There were vicious black half-moons under them,
as proof that sleep and peace had eluded him for the full eight hours. Now it was almost eight a.m. Soon he had to meet with his brother and his sister-in-law at FBI West. It was time to go from dream filled nightmares to reality filled ones. Standing over the remains of the medicine wheel seemed just as daunting, considering the dream he just had reminded him of the faces of the women who once held those bones inside them protectively.

Whitefox wasn’t quite sur
e how he felt about his brother or his sister-in-law being on the Rez. They both seemed honorable, but just having them there reminded him of his past and stupidity. His brother wasn’t the only one still raw from the entire incident. His first impression of his sister-in-law had been the obvious one, she’s a gorgeous woman, but being near her was unsettling. He was sexually attracted to her and in love with the woman. He feared basic contact with Elizabeth Blackhawk. There was this wariness and fear of crossing some invisible line and making his brother snap and hate him even more. He deserved his brother’s wrath for Kaya Cheek, but he just didn’t want his anger for Elizabeth Blackhawk. It just all made him edgy, and he couldn’t find his rhythm for the day. His body and heart might tell him to chase down Elizabeth, but his mind was in control now that he wasn’t a stupid boy any longer. He hoped.

Nor
mally he’d head into his office and grab some coffee, read the paper, maybe watch the news. A tiny piece of the outside world to remind him of what he had once. It was funny; when he was part of that world he wanted to return home to the peacefulness of his roots. Now after seeing his brother and his life, something about it called to him again like there was a part of him longing for it. Looking around the reservation it seemed empty, and he couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to go home, and have it be somewhere other than reservation land. All of this was compounding, weighing him down and giving him more things to dwell on and make him edgy. There just wasn’t going to be peace today, not for him anyway.

Dressing
, he took his time and wished that he could go back to bed. Let the FBI handle the bones and the craziness of the entire situation. Really, it had nothing to do with him and in the grand scheme it wouldn’t.

Whitefox rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration, knowing that was just the tiredness talking. This reservation was his home, and he had to care. Isn’t that what he always said growing up?  That it was his responsibility to heal his family and fix the wound? Good freaking luck with that
. The wounds seemed like they have grown over time into gaping holes and closure wasn’t an option.

As he poured coffee into a travel mug there was a knock at his door, and it pissed him off. Yeah, he was in bad shape if a knock frayed his mood and control this much.

“Aw hell,” he muttered, when he saw who was standing there. Whitefox wanted to throw him off his porch. This wasn’t what he needed this early in the morning or any morning for that matter.

“Son,” said the man, waiting as he opened the door. There was no surprise that
Callen Whitefox wasn’t happy to see him. Over time he’d gotten used to that response from him.

“What do you want, Wyler?” He never called his father
anything other than his proper name. In his mind, the man never earned the title. Just because he made a donation and created him in a night of sweaty sex with his mother, it didn’t make him his father. He reserved those feelings for his grandfather and him alone.

“I hear
Ethan’s back,” he said softly. Word travelled fast on the reservation. When he was told that his oldest son was home, there was a little bud of hope. Maybe, he could fix the mess he created thirty seven years ago.

Whitefox
eyed the man up, as he leaned against the door. Word was he was off the alcohol, or so he said again. It pissed him off that he even resembled his old man. They had the same chin and nose. Fortunately, the rest of his features were gifts from his mother’s side of the family. Wyler had black hair and black colorless eyes. One could say soulless, and that he found very apropos. Every time he looked at Wyler in the last ten years, it was a constant reminder of his brother, and the sins he’d committed against him. It wasn’t lost on him that in twenty years, his brother would resemble their father, but be nothing like him personally. Maybe genetics only made you so much like your parents. That was his secret hope, since both parents weren’t exactly quality material.

“You heard correctly. Ethan’s
definitely back.”

“I heard he got married
to an outsider.” Wyler knew both of his boys hated him. The mistakes he made drew the wedge between them. First by cheating on Ethan’s mother, and then by not making Callen’s mother marry him. He always thought he would have time to make it right, and he turned around and his boys were almost twenty and gone.

“He did.” Callen wasn’t going to give the man any more details than he had to about Ethan Blackhawk
’s life and wife. He betrayed him once, and he wasn’t crossing that line again.

C
ertainly not for Wyler Blackhawk.

If there was one thing neither son had, it was a love lost for their creator.

“I hear she’s gorgeous. All the women are stirred up over it, especially the ones that Ethan dated. She was the talk of the bar last night.”

“I thought you gave up drinking?” he said, maybe a little too harshly. Then he reined it in, trying to be patient with the man as much as he possibly could. “His wife is beautiful, and they
’re very happy together.”

“I hear he’s in charge at that big FBI building, too.”

“Yeah, he and his wife are the directors there.”

“He made something of his life, I see.”

Whitefox was filled with anger. “Yeah, despite it all, Ethan did.” He wasn’t sure if his father was eluding that Callen had wasted his. Wyler just had the ability to rub him the wrong way whenever he was around him, and today was a bad day to grace his presence. Callen wasn’t fit for human companionship, thanks to a really bad night.

“Do you think he
would see me?”

Whitefox laughed at the mere idea. “Let’s put it this way,
Wyler. I screwed up his life minimally, and he nearly tried to take my head off yesterday. If you go near him he may kill you. You abandoned him, ditched his mother to die alone, and ruined his life. I’d steer clear of Ethan. He might just shoot you, or his very protective wife will do it for him.”

Wyler Blackhawk nodded and looked at the ground. “I just wanted to tell him I
am sorry. I don’t want anything from him,” he said turning away completely dejected.

Whitefox sighed and felt horrible. The man was an asshole, but it didn’t make it right to kick him when he was down. “Christ Wyler, wait. I’ll tell him you came to
see me, and I’ll let you know, okay?” he paused. “Just don’t hold your breath on this one. That bridge burned down a long time ago. Ethan is just tolerating me; give him time to adjust to being back.”

Wyler felt a little better. “Thanks son,” he started down the steps. “Hey, there’s something on your porch,” he picked up the laminated paper, flipping it over in his hand, studying the picture.

“What?”

“It looks like a card of some sort, and there’s a fox on it.”