Sacrifice (Gryphon Series) (25 page)

“Why?” My voice came out a dry, croak that
got lost in the roaring wind and waves. I swallowed hard and tried again. “Why did you do it?”

“Last time I checked, p
oppet, linking your hand around a fella’s neck and pulling him to you isn’t the sign for ‘no thanks, not interested’.”

             
I tried to wet my lips that had suddenly gone dry. “But …
Caleb
.”

             
“Caleb has been gone for
six sodden months
.” His strong jaw tensed. His clipped words came through clenched teeth.

              Tears of frustration threatened to spill. “I know that! But I can’t even bring myself to take off his ring!” I held my hand up for him to see. In the cloud covered night the emeralds appeared a deep forest green, as if darkened by my almost betrayal. “Plus, you can barely stand me! Why would you try to kiss someone you don’t even
like
?”

             
He cocked his head. Locks of wavy golden hair fell across his forehead. “Do you really believe that?”

             
“With the things you’ve said, the way you’ve behaved, and your history of selling me out to the enemy? I’m not the best at math, but I’m fairly certain that adds up to you not being my biggest fan.”

             
He bridged the space between us in a blink. His warm breath tingled over my skin as he growled, “Then you truly are an infuriatingly
daft
girl.”

             
“
Mo Chroi
,” I couldn’t help the quake in my voice as I whispered, “I’m your burden to bear.”   

             
“Are you?” he scoffed with a dry laugh. “Caleb once told me you can read Gaelic, but can’t speak it. That true?”

             
I nodded.

             
His gaze scoured the beach until he located a yardstick-sized piece of driftwood. He strode over and scooped it up. Stabbing it into the sand he drew the giant letters. Then, as his chest rose and fell with each ragged breath, he waved his hand inviting me to read it.

              My mouth fell open.
All these months … All this time …
“Mo Chroi …
my heart
.”

             
His shoulders sagged and he tossed the stick aside. “Now you know.”

             
I opened and closed my mouth, but the entire English language momentarily fell out of my head. Finally, I managed to stammer, “What … what am I supposed to say to that?”

             
A poof and he stood in front of me. He raised his hand rose to stroke my cheek, but he held back from actually making contact. “I want you to say that you aren’t gonna tie yourself to Caleb’s ghost forever. That someday—not today, but
someday
—there will be even the slightest chance that you’ll open your eyes and see what’s right in front of you.”

             
“Caleb’s not dead, he’s … ”

             
“He’s gone, Celeste. Gone!” Anger darkened his eyes to a deep sapphire blue. His chest expanded with the deep breath he inhaled to calm himself. “For centuries now I’ve been driven by one thing, my need for vengeance … ”

             
“Against who?”

“Tale
for another day, lass.” This time his smirk lacked any of its normal smugness. A hint of pain swirled in his eyes. “But even
that
vendetta I would give up to be with you.”

             
If I were a computer I’d have that blue screen of death and a flashing Fatal Error message. “Rowan, my heart still belongs to Caleb. You have to know that.”

             
His lips pressed together in a thin line. “Aye. I do. But I also know that there’s something between us. Has been since the day that puff ball of a dog chased you into me arms. Can you at least admit
that
?”

             
The intensity of his gaze added pressure on an already stressful conversation. What I needed was time to think. Maybe a walk to clear my head, without him staring at me like he was trying to will the right words to leave my mouth. “This is all a lot to take in, could you give me a little time to digest it? Maybe think things over?”

             
“There’s nothing to think about.” He shrugged. “It’s a simple yes or no. Is what I feel for you completely one-sided?”

             
I opened my mouth to say—something. No? Yes? I don’t know? Stop pressuring me you maddeningly pushy pirate? But the words that found their way past my lips were, “I … I don’t think I can ever fully trust you.”

             
He jerked as if I’d slapped him. Hurt and resentment fell on him like a cloak, sharpening the lines of his face and clouding his eyes. “I really wish you hadn’t said that.”

             
“I’m sorry. That didn’t come out the way I meant and I definitely didn’t mean it to hurt you.” I reached out for him, but he backed away from my touch.

             
“You said
exactly
what you meant, poppet. So all this time all I was to you was an emotional release?” Even though I completely deserved the accusation in his tone, it still stung.

             
I wanted to retract my words. To reel them in and take away the hurt I caused him. But that particular skill I
didn’t
have. “No! Well, yeah, maybe at first. But it became more after that. I don’t know what exactly. But at the
very
least I consider you a friend.”

             
He glanced at the words he wrote in the sand. The wind had blown the sand around enough that all that was left was a slight impression of what had been. “That’s it then.”

             
“That’s what?” A terrible foreboding feeling hatched in my belly. Rowan’s posture suddenly went
too
rigid. The muscles in his arms and neck became
too
taut. “You put me on the spot. I’m sorry if I said something wrong. I truly didn’t mean to hurt you.”

             
“I didn’t want it to be like this.” Slowly and deliberately—like a predatory cat—he slunk toward me. The dark intensity of his gaze made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. “I was never going to follow through. I thought when the time came I would be able to sway you. But you just can’t see past that sodding Irishman.”

             
Instinctively my hands balled into fists. “Rowan, whatever you’re thinking of doing right now—
don’t
.”

             
“All you had to do was give me
one
reason not to go through with it. But now it’s too late.”

             
His behavior was so erratic I didn’t know what to expect. I absolutely was
not
prepared for him to weave his fingers into my hair and kiss me with a fierce intensity that took my breath away. An intoxicating rush of lust-filled heat raged into me the second his lips touched mine. Completely at the mercy of this invading emotion I wrapped my arms around his neck and molded my body to him. I was so caught up in his tongue teasing mine that I didn’t even notice when our corporeal forms turned into black smoke …

CHAPTER
TWENTY-NINE

              I didn’t know where he transported us, and honestly I was too distracted to care. My hands wandered up Rowan’s back, enjoying the feel of him. With one arm around my waist he roughly pulled me to him. A throaty groan I didn’t know I was capable of escaped through my parted lips. His mouth never left mine as he guided me across the room until my back smacked into what I assumed to be a wall. Not that I cared, I was in the middle of loosening the buttons of his shirt. Rowan caught one of my hands and in a swift, sudden motion brought it down and clamped a metal cuff around my wrist.

             
Nothing snaps a girl out of a manufactured lusty vibe faster than finding herself involuntarily bolted to a heavy wood slab.

“What are you doing?” I growled and yanked against the cuff.
Whatever this thing was made of it didn’t even budge at my attempt.

             
Rowan’s hand rose to stroke my cheek. I flinched away from him. My breath came fast and ragged in my sudden blinding fury. Sadness flared in his eyes that he quickly blinked away. Stone cold resolve replaced it and he clapped his hand down on my arm. He compelled my other arm down with his touch and clicked the second cuff in place.

             
“I never wanted this, Celeste.” He
tsk
ed and shook his head. “I thought once Caleb was gone, things would be different.”

             
I lunged at him. Unfortunately, he stepped out of head-butting range. “Tell me you didn’t have anything to do with me having to send Caleb away.”

             
He turned on his heel and strode across the room muttering under his breath, “Bolted to a sodding table and still she thinks of him first.”

“Answer my question,”
I snarled and scanned my surroundings for a weak spot to bolt through. Even if I found a door with a well-lit EXIT sign I wasn’t going anywhere thanks to these cuffs made of some sort of Conduit-proof kryptonite. I had to be somewhere inside the mansion. The room had the same high ceilings and beautiful cherry-stained, wood-paneled walls. Antique candelabras lit the space with their warm candlelit glow. Positioned in the middle of the room was an ornate antique table with three knives on it. One with a mother of pearl hilt, one with black onyx, and the last polished brass. Next to them sat a copper bowl and a red candle. When the only two pieces of furniture in a room are a table full of knives and a table with handcuffs it’s safe to assume a spa treatment isn’t on the docket.  

The soft light of the candles
provided no match for the inferno that burned in Rowan’s gaze when he spun on me. “Did I have something to do with it? You’re damned right I did. I was protecting him from
you.
If he had stayed here sooner or later the Countess would’ve gotten her payback and had him killed. He’s the only family I’ve ever had. To keep him safe I had to get him far away from
you
.”

M
etal gleamed as Rowan picked up the black onyx knife and turned it over in his hands. Studying it. Weighing it. Slowly he drew the edge of the blade down his palm. A crimson line split his hand. Over the bowl he made a fist and let the blood stream down.

“That’s why you were on the island
.” A fresh round of boiling rage prompted me to jerk against my chains with the same end result. “You led the Titan right to us.”

He peered up at me.
A lock of golden hair fell into his eye. He flicked his head to adjust it. “I did. But I never meant for anyone to get hurt—the exact opposite in fact. I care for you and Cal both dearly and I hoped it wouldn’t come to this. If you gave me one hint—one inkling—that you cared for me I would’ve kept you safe. ”

“Safe from
what
? What could possibly be worse than
you
? You lying, scheming, villainous, untrustworthy
pirate
!” I spat. Thanks to him that was now the worst possible word in my vocabulary.

The
hangdog expression he wore while he wrapped a handkerchief around his still bleeding hand kinda made me wanna jab my thumbs in his eyes. “If you live through this I do hope you’ll forgive me someday.”

“Don’t count on it,” I hissed.

Rowan gave an almost sympathetic nod, but said nothing. Instead he scooped up the red candle and lit it off the nearest candelabra. Holding it over the bowl, he let the melted wax run down the length of the pillar and drip into the bowl. “
Sanus exsisto clausus , ianua exsisto sterilis , servo is tractus
.”

I had a feeling this particular chant wasn’t going to end with unicorn
s and cotton candy. My muscles tensed, ready for anything but able to do shockingly little at the moment. “Whatever you’re doing, Rowan, you don’t have to. If you meant any of those things you said about how you feel about me, don’t do this.”

The smoke from the candle grew thick
and heavy. Grey smog filled the room and burned my lungs with its spicy sweetness. Rowan kept his head down, and watched the wax drip and splatter in the copper bowl. “For centuries the only thing driving me to stay alive was a vendetta I’ve harbored for way longer than a sane man should. But meeting you and watching what you’ve endured made it seem—pointless. My own pains from the past paled in comparison to what you endure daily. The strength you possess, the compassion that defines you—it’s what made me long to be near you.” I saw no accusation in his eyes, only truth, when he peered up at me from under his lashes. “But it isn’t me you want, it never has been. So if my past goal is all I have left, I have no choice but to pursue it.”