Authors: Quinn Loftis
When the bond happened with George a couple of months ago, I’d wondered how I’d ever get used to constantly having access to someone else’s emotions. It was a live feed with no “off” button. And for a while, it was overwhelming, making it impossible to know which reactions were mine and which were his. Not to mention the awkwardness of him feeling what I did. Especially when things got a little heavy with a certain Werewolf boyfriend of mine. Wes found it amusing—until he realized a shared, constant stream of emotion meant he didn’t get past first base. Then he was as frustrated as me.
I’d just begun to get it under control, finding ways to turn the volume down a few notches, when I’d woken the bond between myself and the dozens of hybrids Miles DeLuca created before he’d been killed. After his death, his mother, Olivia, had forced me to inject them all with my blood as a means to save them from the change of becoming what could only be described as a rabid, conscious-less Werewolf with yellow eyes and an appetite for human guts. Their survival rate—and likelihood of turning out a little more humane—was better with a little Tara Godfrey blood in them.
Most had been Hunters before their change—a superhuman created with the ability to kill a Werewolf in order to protect humans—so their bodies were strong enough to accept the change and hang on. But a lot of the humans had died before I got there, which is why there’d been only forty-six.
The memory of a room full of the dead and dying was an ongoing nightmare for me. Valium helped. And sometimes Wes came through my window and held me tight enough there was no room for the memory. Those were the nights I slept best.
And now, whether I wanted them or not, the pack of hybrids was mine. Not just because I could hear and feel everything in their heads. It was more than that. When the bond formed, it was like my body or my heart itself melded to theirs and I cared. That was the weirdest part. These people—or animals—were strangers to me. I didn’t know their names or recognize their faces like so many Hunters that’d grown up in the same community. None of them had meant anything to me before that day. But now … the thought of parting with them disturbed me. Imagining them hurt stirred a protectiveness in me that awakened my Werewolf side. The alpha. And maybe because I cared, the constant hum being poured into my head was driving me crazy.
The only thing I’d found that quieted the noise was music. Really, really loud music.
At least the rest of the pack couldn’t read me as well as George could. With practice, I’d gotten better at filtering what slipped through into their awareness. I’d tried to do the same with George but I couldn’t seem to keep him out. It’s like he tried extra hard to stay inside my head. The rest of them were weaker, more agreeable to my pushing them out. Vera said it was an alpha thing, which didn’t comfort me much since I couldn’t manage to do the reverse. I heard every single one of them, whether I wanted to or not.
I needed a break. A deep breath. Not that it helped in clearing my head. Nothing did.
I looked around for my headphones.
My thoughts clouded and jumbled as the volume increased. Someone yelped out loud and it echoed through my skull.
“What’s that?” Wes asked, drawing away and raising his face to the ceiling.
I sniffed. The smell of burnt hair permeated the air. I didn’t waste time trying to cover my face against the odor. Instead, I jumped to my feet and shoved the flap aside, searching camp for the source.
My tent had been constructed in the center of the clearing. All around me, makeshift tarps and tents and everything in between that could possibly be used to escape the elements had been thrown together in haphazard rows. There was no system, only open space and taken space. The boundaries of each shifted daily.
For once, I was glad to be in the center of the chaos the hybrids called home. It gave me a great view for searching out drama and mischief—of which there was plenty.
“Where is it coming from?” Wes asked, joining me.
“There.”
In the far left corner, beside a wounded-looking tent, an aging Werewolf-hybrid cowered underneath the menace of Nick. He was a hybrid as well, turned from Hunter to Werewolf in his prime. He was stronger and faster than a lot of the others. But not me. Not the alpha.
“Be right back,” I said.
“I’m going with you.”
Wes and I picked our way around tents and other obstacles. Torn shoes. Clothes—some shredded, some coated in mud from being left outside during last night’s rainstorm. Any other personal effects were out of sight. Possessions were limited and therefore closely guarded.
I approached Nick warily. More and more lately, he attempted to exert authority over the others. That wasn’t going to fly. I had the authority here.
“Nick,” I called. My voice was at normal volume but the severity of it was enough to get the attention of everyone in sight. “What the hell is going on?”
“Rafe decided to sneak into my tent and go through my stuff,” Nick said.
I looked at the older hybrid. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen him as a human. His yellow eyes, normally gentle and clear, were wide in contained pain. He was missing fur in several places on his shoulders and face. What was left smoked faintly. The smell was worse standing this close.
“Is this true?” I asked.
Rafe stared up at me where he lay flat on the dirt before Nick. Behind the pain in his eyes was defiance. “He took my watch. It’s the one thing I have from before. I want it back.”
“You went into his tent because he went into yours?” I asked. Rafe nodded. “Nick?”
He scowled and averted his eyes. I followed their track to the ground and found a pile of shredded fabric underneath Nick’s paws. And half buried in a pile of pine needles, a lighter.
I bent down and picked up the lighter, making sure Nick watched me pocket it. Then I marched over and got in his face. “Apologize to him.”
He blew a short breath out of his nostrils. It hit my face and I almost gagged. Werewolf Nick was in desperate need of some mouthwash. “For what?” he spat. “I didn’t do anyth—”
“Give him back the watch and apologize,” I said, cutting him off.
“Is everything …?” Cambria walked up behind me but stopped short when she saw Rafe. “Holy cow. Are you all right? What happened?” Before anyone could answer, she clapped a hand over her nose. “You really stink.”
I shot her a look. She shrugged. “Well, he does.”
“Should’ve stayed out of my tent,” Nick muttered.
My hands tightened into fists at Nick’s nasty attitude. I had to will my shape to stay solidly human. I badly wanted to shift, but I’d already ruined two outfits this week.
Rafe made some noise of protest and Nick growled.
“Nick, calm your ass,” Cambria snapped.
“He went through my tent,” Nick said.
“Stop stealing from people and they’ll stay out of your tent,” I said, my voice rising as my patience thinned.
“This is bullshit. He had it coming.” The way Nick spat out the words, his lips pulled back from his teeth, made it hard not to bite him—without even shifting first.
My wolf rose to the surface. Nick was pushing me. My wolf wanted to push back. “Bullshit, huh?” I said. “He came for his property and you burned him.”
“Punishment.”
“Who are you to give punishment? Or pass judgment?”
He didn’t answer.
“Come here,” I said. I held up the lighter.
“No way. You’re not using that thing on me,” Nick said, backing away.
He didn’t get more than two steps before he bumped into something and lurched forward. He turned to see what he’d hit and came face to face with another wolf.
This one didn’t have the yellow eyes of the hybrids but brown orbs that shimmered with caramel flecks in the light. He had russet fur and broad shoulders. Even on four paws, he stood almost a foot taller than Nick, and he glared at Nick with a ferocity I hadn’t seen in weeks. “Do what she says,” Wes growled.
Nick hesitated, which surprised me more than anything. Did he really think he could beat Wes? But then he seemed to come to his senses and hung his head as he shuffled forward.
“Do it,” Nick said, obviously assuming I was going to hurt him somehow, which was ridiculous. I wasn’t a masochist.
I waited, drawing out the suspense as long as possible while Wes moved in behind Nick. Cambria scooted left and nodded at me.
Ready
, she mouthed.
I bent down so Nick and I were eye to eye and wiggled the lighter in my hand. “See this?” I dropped it on the ground in front of me and brought my heel down on it, drawing on my wolf for strength until it finally cracked and broke.
Nick winced.
“This is over,” I said, straightening. “I am alpha. Not you. Stop trying to force your own authority or you’ll regret it.”
Nick raised his head. The fiery temper was gone but there was something else. A thirst for something I couldn’t understand. Revenge?
“And give back his watch,” I added.
Nick went to his tent, stuck his nose inside, and came away with something silver in his mouth. He dropped it in front of Rafe and looked back at me. “Are we done here?”
“Yes.”
“Good. I’m taking a walk. Watch my tent.”
“We’ll do that,” Wes said before I could respond. Probably a good thing. I’d only come back with something sarcastic and I knew Nick wasn’t far from wanting to stay and make this into something bigger. Something he shouldn’t.
I let him go.
When he was gone, I knelt beside Rafe. “May I?” I asked, gesturing to the singed spots on his fur.
“Go ahead.”
The burnt hair was coarse underneath my fingertips, interrupted by the strangely smooth patches of exposed flesh. “Cambria, can you take him to the house so Fee can look at these?” I asked.
“Sure,” she said.
“I don’t need all that,” Rafe protested. “I’ll heal fine in my own time.”
“I know that, but Fee’s special tea will help the process along.”
Rafe made a face, his snout lifting until his front teeth showed. “That tea of hers is an atrocity. I’m sure I’ll heal without it.”
I caught the laughter before it escaped. “It is an … acquired taste,” I agreed. “But I need you feeling better. I need us feeling better,” I added with a pointed look.
He sighed. “Fine. I’ll drink the tea.”
“Thank you.” I patted his head before I could help myself but he didn’t seem to mind. “I’ll check on you later,” I called as he followed Cambria back through the maze of camp.
“Check on me too,” Cambria called.
I cast a long look into the trees in the direction Nick had gone. If I expanded my senses, I could hear his footsteps as he moved farther away from camp. His voice in my head wasn’t as pronounced as I was used to. It felt muted. I strained to listen.
His mood was … gray. I wasn’t sure what it meant, but it wasn’t the first time I’d sensed it from him.
“You all right?” Wes asked.
“Hmm?” I turned my attention away and found Wes studying me. “I’m fine.”
I began making my way back toward my tent before he could argue. I didn’t want to have this conversation here. Or anywhere, really.
“I’ll meet you there in five,” Wes said, bounding into the trees. Probably in search of shorts so he could reappear on two legs.
“Hey, Tara, is Rafe going to be okay?” Emma, a blond hybrid around my age who preferred her human form when her body would cooperate, stood before me with watery eyes and a trembling lip.
“He’s going to be fine,” I assured her. “He went up to the house to have some of Fee’s tea so he’ll get better even faster.” Emma grimaced.
I began walking again but she stopped me. “Is there anything I can do for you—or George, or anybody?” she asked. “I want to help.”
“Um, well. You could try to make some of these tents more stable,” I suggested. “Some look ready to keel over in the next big wind.” I suspected those were the ones whose owners couldn’t shift to their human form. Something that happened more and more often as the animal in them took over. No fingers and thumbs made bolting a tent down pretty hard.
“No problem. Janie and I will get right on it.”
“Thanks,” I said as she hurried off in search of her sister.
I picked my way back through camp, fielding questions and containing squabbles. Nothing like what’d happened with Nick. More like what came from living in close quarters with the same people day in and day out.
Wes was waiting for me when I finally made it back. He pulled me in for a hug and I pretended not to have a pounding headache as I listened telepathically to the rest of the pack try to figure out what’d happened. Or whether Nick had lost his mind.
Please don’t ask me to explain any of that because I have no idea.
“He’s getting worse,” Wes said when I pulled away.
“Yeah.”
“What’s his problem? Can you read him?”
I shook my head. “Not with this. It’s … I don’t know what it is. But it’s not him.”
Wes frowned but said nothing. I needed to change the subject. To move on—back to normal …ish.
“So what are your plans for the day?” I asked, making a special effort to lighten my tone. “Are you and Jack still heading out?”
“That’s the plan. Jack’s in the weapons room doing a reorganize. Figured I had some time.”
“He must be stressed if he’s doing that.”
Wes nodded. “The packs are getting nervous about this thing with CHAS. It’s rubbing off on him.”
“You know we won’t be able to find anything in there for days once he’s done.”
“I know. Fee started baking when she saw what he was up to.”
“Great. So I’ll stay away until at least tomorrow.”
“Probably best. What are you going to do this afternoon?” he asked.
I rubbed absently at my temples. “Get cleaned up and head over to the hospital.”
He didn’t answer right away. His arms tightened around me. “Well … be careful,” he said finally.
Obviously, we still weren’t going to talk about it.
“I will,” I promised. I kissed his nose before stepping away. “You too. I’ll see you when you get back.”
“I’ll call you tonight.”
The strain between us, though unspoken, tugged at me. At my tent’s entrance, I turned back. “Wes, the bond …” I paused, searching for the right words.