Saddle Up (24 page)

“I've already told you why I can't.”

“But your reasons are nonsensical,” she protested. “Why can't you at least give it a chance? I really think this could be a good thing for all of us. I don't understand why you don't see it, too. Whether you want me to be part of it or not, you still need to move forward with your life, Keith. You can't let the past keep clouding your future.”

“My future?” He shook his head. “This is not
my
future, Miranda, or my dream. It's yours.”

Her lips quivered. “I thought… I hoped…that maybe it could become ours together.”

He tossed his rope down with a shake of his head. “I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you thought wrong. I'm not one of your mustangs. I don't
need
saving.”

“Don't you?” she asked softly. “It's not a weakness or a character flaw. It's human nature to need someone. We all do. You need this, Keith. These horses need you. And
I
need you.”

*
* *

I need you.
His chest tightened. When had anyone ever said that to him before? He gazed sightlessly out at the mountains, digesting her words. For the second time, it was as if she'd reached out and touched that aching place in his soul.

“You're asking too much,” he said with a jerk of his head. “I told you I'm not here for the horses. I'm here for you. I came here to help
you
. Damn it, Miranda! Why can't that be enough?”

She stood with hands on hips, her gaze meeting his squarely. “Because you're too obstinate to recognize what would truly fulfill you.”

“Look, Miranda, there are two kinds of people in this world, sequoias and tumbleweeds. You're the sequoia. Your convictions are strong, and your roots run deep. I'm the tumbleweed. All my life, I've taken a day at a time. I've never had a serious relationship or any real responsibilities. I've never even stayed in one place for more than a few months at a time. And that kind of life suited me just fine.”

“Does it still?” she asked. “Is that the kind of life you want?”

“No,” he said. “It's not what I want anymore, but staying here with you is asking for commitments I'm not sure I can make. I don't know if I even have it in me.” He gripped her shoulders. “Can you understand that? I don't know if I can change. And I don't want to hurt you if I can't.”

She tore her gaze away and looked into the distance. “Are you saying you think you'd just pick up and disappear one day?”

“Maybe.” He released her to answer with a single shoulder shrug. “I've done it before. If the mood struck me. I might do it again. It's how I've always been.”

“Maybe that's how you
were
, but I don't believe for a minute that you would. You're one of the most responsible people I know. You've worked for Mitch for months, under really tough conditions, and you never let him down, even when you hated it. You don't hate it here, do you?” she asked.

“No, I don't hate it.”

“Do you think maybe you could grow to like it?”

“Maybe I could,” he said, adding pointedly, “I have good reason to. That's the only part of all this that I'm certain about.”

“What part is that?” she asked.

“You,
Aiwattsi
. I meant it when I said I've never wanted anyone like I want you.”

She broke eye contact again. “Didn't I already prove you can have me just about any way you like?”

Her flippant answer told him she was afraid to take his remark to heart.

“That's not what I meant,” he said. “I need you to understand that it's never been anything more than sex for me before you. This is different between you and me. It's more.”

“What do you mean more?” she asked, warily. “How much
more
?”

“I don't know the answer.”

“Then I have to ask if you
want
to know.”

“I do.”

“Then stay with me, Keith. Let's just give us some time to figure it all out. It's the only way we'll ever know. You don't have to work for Jo-Jo and me, if that's what bothers you. Maybe you could just lease the facilities from us and train some of the horses. Give the throwaways another chance. I'm certain the BLM would support you. Maybe they'd even give you a contract, like they've done with the prisons. At least think about it, will you?” Her eyes pleaded.

She'd waged a hard campaign, chipping away at him piece by piece with her determined persistence. He'd balked and bucked from the very start, but she was wearing him down. He had little fight left in him when she looked at him like that.

He doffed his hat and raked his hair with a sigh of defeat. “All right. You win. I'll stay on until spring. If I think by then that I can do anything with these horses, I'll talk to the BLM.”

The words were barely out of his mouth before she flung her arms around him with a squeal. “You will? I'm so happy, Keith! I can't even tell you how happy I am.”

He flashed a lecherous grin. “Then maybe you can show me instead?”

The next two weeks passed quickly as Miranda and Keith fell into an easy routine of rising early to care for the horses, then riding out to work on the fence. Although she hardly knew the front end of a hammer from the back, she loved helping him, even if she wasn't actually a whole lot of help. Keith was patient and took the time to show her how to pull wire. Working together, they managed to complete the work on the south pasture just barely ahead of the first big snowfall.

On the days they finished before dark, Keith made slow but steady progress with Blue Eye. They were still more or less at a standoff, as the horse still hadn't approached or let Keith near him, but at least the stallion's aggression had diminished. Keith marked it as a baby step, but progress nonetheless.

With the long hours they'd put in, they hadn't had any trouble keeping their promise to be discreet. In truth, they hadn't had any energy to do anything besides work, eat, and sleep. But now homebound by the snowfall, Miranda was secretly thrilled for the chance to spend some time relaxing together. When he didn't come to the house for breakfast, she decided to bring it to him…in bed.

She opened the door when he didn't answer her knock and caught him just stepping out of the shower, wrapped in only a towel. “You didn't show up for breakfast.”

“Wasn't real hungry.”

“I brought you some anyway.” She set it down on the counter. Her gaze roved appreciatively over his flexing muscles as he toweled his head dry. “I'm really disappointed that I'm too late to scrub your back.”

“I'm all clean, but I sure wouldn't mind getting really messy,” he replied with a grin that heated her insides.

“Are you letting your hair grow back?” she asked. She hadn't noticed before how long it was getting, since he always wore a hat. It had grown a couple of inches in the months since she'd they met in Nevada, and now almost touched his shoulders.

“Yeah.” He smiled self-consciously. “I've felt really naked without it.”

“Your nakedness is perfectly fine with me,” she replied, stripping off her coat and toeing off her boots. When she looked up again, he'd dropped his towel. She inhaled a sharp breath to see him in his full natural glory. Her insides clenched with desire as he approached. Her gaze dipped and lingered in awe on his manhood: long, thick, purple-headed, and erect.
Very erect.

“Ready so quickly?” she asked.

“Yes. I've been fighting this particular state of ‘readiness' since the moment I opened my eyes. I was half inclined to take care of it myself.”

“But that would have been such a waste.” She reached out and wrapped her hand around him. He shut his eyes on a guttural sound as she stroked his hard, hot length. “I'm more than happy to take care of it for you.”

“I was hoping you'd say that. Two weeks is too damned long just to think about it. My body might be exhausted, but my mind's been working overtime.”

“Oh yeah?” She cocked her head. “So what has you so preoccupied?”

“Do you remember the first time we were together, when you were afraid to let me kiss you ‘down there'?”

She laughed softly. “Why does that seem like a lifetime ago?”

“Because you're no longer the shy girl,
Aiwattsi
. I'm glad you enjoy what happens between us. I enjoy it all the more because you do. I was wondering if you'd come to me. I was hoping you would. I woke up with my head filled with all the things I still want to do to you.”

“Really? Do tell.”

“Tell?” He cupped her face and kissed her deeply, passionately. “How about if I show you instead?”

* * *

Miranda opened her eyes, spooned against him in a warm postcoital cocoon. “Jo-Jo asked if you have plans for Thanksgiving. I told her I wasn't even sure if you celebrated it or not.”

“It's not our custom,” he said, “but some of us do. Did you know that Thanksgiving was really an Indian harvest celebration way before the Pilgrims ever landed? There are those who feel the white people hijacked our holiday. A few bands in New England have even gone so far as to designate it as a great day of mourning.”

She rolled over to face him. “How do you feel about that?”

“I think the past is the past. We need to let the bitterness go. As far as the holiday is concerned, it's just another day to me, but I do like turkey.”

“Were you planning to go and see your grandparents?” She added hopefully, “Or would you like to spend it here with us?”

“I wasn't planning to leave, not with the horses arriving so soon.”

The frown etching his brow told her it was more than just the horses arriving that kept him from going home. His pain was deep, and a wound she ached to soothe. She hoped that time would bring about a reconciliation with his family.

“I'm glad you're staying,” she said. “I just hope you don't mind my aunt Judith and uncle Robert. They're coming up from Phoenix tomorrow. When Jo-Jo told them about the mustangs, they booked the first flight to Montana. Jo-Jo said Judith is having a real cow over it.”

“Why should they care?” Keith asked.

“Because Judith is a real control freak. She had it all planned out for Jo-Jo to move to Phoenix with them, whether it was what Jo-Jo wanted or not. I just hope they don't cause any trouble.”

Keith shrugged. “They might not like it, but there's not much they can do, given it's all a done deal.” He fingered one of her curls. “It doesn't sound like you're too fond of your aunt.”

“No, I'm not. She's a real be-atch. She and Jo-Jo don't get along very well either. Judith hated the ranch and couldn't leave soon enough. She went away to nursing school, married an oral surgeon, and never came back. He's a real asshat too. The man extracts wisdom teeth for a living but acts like it's neurosurgery.”

“Have you heard yet when they'll be bringing the horses?”

“The guy from the BLM is supposed to come out tomorrow to look things over. If he gives us the final stamp of approval, we can expect them the day after.”

“Are you nervous about it?” he asked.

“I guess I am a little nervous. This is a really big commitment. I just hope Jo-Jo never regrets that I talked her into it.”

“You understand that there's no turning back once they unload those trailers.”

“I know. I'm ready. I'm just really glad you're here with me. I don't know how I could have done it without you.”

His brows pulled together. “But you were determined to do it anyway, weren't you?”

“Yes,” she admitted. “I was. And I still would have, but part of me could never quite believe that you'd let me down. I think I always knew you'd come through in the end.”

“So much faith in me,
Aiwattsi
?” he asked softly, his mouth forming a hint of a smile.

“Yes,” she said, rolling on top of him. She loved feeling him beneath her almost as much as on top. “Supreme faith. You're not at all the person I once thought you were. You came even though it wasn't what you wanted. And the fact that you are still here with me makes everything feel complete.”

“How does your grandmother feel about me being here?” he asked warily.

“She likes you, Keith. A lot. She's just been worried all along that you might not stick around. She's afraid you'll break my heart. You won't, will you?” she asked softly, her eyes searching his. “You'll keep it safe, right?”

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close enough that she could hear his heart beating. “I would never intentionally hurt you,
Aiwattsi
. If I ever did break your heart, it would break mine too.”

* * *

“You're up early. Where's Keith?” Jo-Jo asked.

Miranda bit her lip with a guilty look. “Um. He said he wanted to sleep in today.”

“I suppose it was all that fence work that wore him out.” Jo-Jo's knowing wink said she knew exactly what had tired Keith out and where Miranda had spent most of yesterday and all of last night. “Maybe you and he ought to cool it down just a bit while Judith and Robert are here.”

“We will,” Miranda promised. “When are they arriving?”

“At three. Should we flip a coin?” Jo-Jo asked. “Heads picks up Judith and Robert, tails gets to stay here?”

Miranda set her cup down with a laugh. “I don't mind picking them up, but that would mean you'd have to ride the property with the BLM agent. I was thinking that Keith and I should do that in case he has any questions about the work we did.”

“I suppose you're right.” Jo-Jo sighed. “I'm just glad they're staying only a few days. The thought alone is enough to bring on a migraine.”

“I knew you and Aunt Judith weren't close, but I didn't know it was
that
bad,” Miranda remarked.

“To be honest, I'm mostly worried about how she's going to treat you and Keith. She made several derogatory remarks when I told her you'd come here to stay, and that was even before I mentioned Keith or the horses.
That
business about sent her into orbit. I don't even dare tell her about the changes I made to my will.”

“I'm so sorry, Jo-Jo. I never meant to come between you.”

“You haven't. She's always been a hard pill to swallow, but she's only gotten worse with age. It's too bad they couldn't have kids. I think motherhood might have softened her. It does with a lot of women, but Judith could never carry to term, and Robert refused to adopt, so they just gave up. She's been miserable ever since.”

“I didn't know about her miscarriages,” Miranda said. “That's so sad.”

“It is sad, but she's too mean to feel sorry for. Oh, well,” Jo-Jo groaned. “I guess I'll be the one driving to Butte to pick them up. At least I already made all the pies. I've got an apple, two pumpkins, and a banana cream. That's still your favorite, isn't it?”

“Yes,” Miranda said, “but you didn't have to go to all that trouble.”

She smiled. “It was no trouble, and it just happens to be my favorite too.”

“Is there anything I can do to help you get ready?” Miranda asked.

“Not today, but I'll happily put you back in charge of the vegetable peeler tomorrow.”

“Gladly.” Miranda kissed her cheek. “Please drive carefully, Jo-Jo.”

* * *

Keith spent the afternoon driving the property with the BLM agent, Bill Watson. After riding the fence he'd repaired, they returned to find Miranda waiting.

“So, what's the verdict?” she asked.

“There's plenty of fresh water, the fence is high enough, and all the wire appears tight,” Bill said.

“My grandparents ran four hundred head of cattle at one time, so we're pretty well equipped,” Miranda replied. “We were also careful to check all the posts. Keith did a lot of work on them for us.”

“Well, everything looks good from our end,” Bill said.

The look of worry eased from Miranda's face. “So we can take the horses?”

“Sure enough. Can you take them this week?” Bill asked. “I know it's a holiday and all, but we're in pretty desperate straits.”

Miranda looked to Keith. “What do you think? Are we ready?”

Keith replied, “I think the sooner the better. Let them get the lay of the land while they can still see it. Most of the snow from the prior storm is already melted, but there's more forecasted.”

“I admit it surprised the heck out of me that you were willing to take them on this close to winter,” Bill said, “but we sure do appreciate it.”

“We don't usually get a real heavy snow load here in the valley,” Miranda said. “And, fortunately, what we get doesn't stay long. Can you get a driver to bring them this close to the holiday?” she asked.

“We'll get a driver, no worries there,” Bill reassured her.

“Would you like to come in and warm up?” she asked. “I already put a pot of coffee on.”

Bill hesitated. “Thanks, but no. Got a lot of paperwork to do before I can get those horses transferred. I'll call as soon as we have it all lined up.” He offered his hand. “Look forward to working with you.”

“Me too.” Miranda shook his hand heartily. “I'll be waiting for that call.”

Bill tipped his hat in a parting gesture. As soon as he got in his truck, Miranda turned to Keith. “Thank you so much, Keith. We never could have done it without you.”

He flashed a wolfish grin. “You can thank me properly later.”

She frowned and shifted her weight. “About that…Jo-Jo thinks we should cool things down while my aunt and uncle are here.” She added with an apologetic look, “I won't be bringing you breakfast in bed for a while.”

“That's mighty disappointing. It's become my favorite meal…or, better said, you have.”

She swatted his shoulder. “None of that kind of talk either. You'll get us both in really hot water. We already have a couple of strikes against us.”

“What do you mean?”

“They don't like that I've come to live here.”

“That so? Then they're sure to be real happy about me.”

“I don't think Jo-Jo said too much about you.”

His brows met in a frown. “So I'm to be presented as just a hired hand, as far as they're concerned?”

“That's probably what they'll think you are, especially since she fired Marvin, the guy who used to work here. Do you mind just leaving it at that?” she asked. “It would be a whole lot easier all around. And it's only for a few days.”

“I don't like it, but I suppose I could be bribed.” He cupped her head, tilting it back to kiss her. One kiss stretched into two, and then three, until their mouths just merged for long, breathless, thoughtless minutes. Lost to time and place, they were still standing on the front porch locked in that embrace when Jo-Jo's Expedition pulled into the drive.