Maybe she could have both revenge and a paycheck, at least for a while.
Before they reached the open doors of the church, her brother and Rose rushed toward them from the back of the crowd.
“Leroy!” Mama kissed him on the cheek. “I didn’t expect you two until mealtime.”
“I missed this church,” he said while the four of them exchanged hugs.
When Sadie embraced her broad-shouldered brother, she couldn’t help gripping him hard. She released him and turned her head when her emotions bubbled to the surface.
“What’s wrong?” he whispered in her ear.
“Nothing.”
He hooked her arm, keeping her immobile while everyone else filed inside. “Don’t lie to me. I know you too well.”
Her cheeks scalded with shame. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You used to tell me everything. Is it Mama?”
“No, she and I had a nice talk yesterday.”
“You look heartbroken.” He glanced around, his eyes flashing dangerously above his arrow-shaped nose. “Who is he? I’ll rip his head off.”
She clung to his arm, tempted to lay her troubles at his feet like she used to when she was a girl. If he found out what Henry had done to her, she didn’t doubt he’d rip something off. And the Klan would throw him back in jail, or worse. She couldn’t let that happen.
She patted his face. “Thank you, but I have to work through it myself.”
“Well, whoever he is, he’s not worth it, hear?”
“By the way, you need to repair the boat. It still holds water, but a piece of it splintered off last night.”
“What the hell were you doing rowing at night?”
“Come on, Leroy. We don’t want to be late for the service.”
Her brother’s love warmed the chill in her chest and gave her strength, but he couldn’t make her pain go away. After they joined the rest of the family inside, she moved her lips to the hymn they sang. When everyone sat, she plopped into the wooden pew, feeling heavier than a boulder.
She planned to pass the time by plotting the steps she’d take to cripple the Rockfield Oyster Harbor plant. The water view from the narrow windows helped her focus. Should she hide the books, alter them, destroy them, or all three?
“Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord,” Reverend Palmer began in his clear, strong voice.
Sadie rolled her eyes. Of all days, did he have to pick that sermon? She must have heard it a dozen times before, but it sounded different today. As if the reverend spoke directly to her. He sure looked at her enough times. Almost as if he knew she’d lain naked in Henry’s bed and now plotted to destroy him.
To escape his intense glances, she let her gaze wander to the other side of the church. Only to land on Buck and his new wife. Maybe she’d already died and gone to hell. Next, she glared at every man in the place, hating each one except Leroy.
Let’s see. She could notify Henry’s vendors he was willing to accept higher prices, and then do the opposite with his customers.
Mama elbowed her again and whispered, “Pay attention and stop that scowling.”
Forcing a neutral expression onto her face, she focused on the reverend’s words—how hate bred more hate. So she wasn’t pretty. Why couldn’t she stop loathing herself over it? Henry had probably not seen a black woman completely nude before. Maybe it wasn’t what he expected. His reaction might have had nothing to do with her personally.
You’re pretty when you smile.
Pearl’s words came back to her. If she could find something to smile about, maybe she would again someday. But revenge and hatred would make her even uglier. As ugly as the charred cross the Klan had burned outside this church last year during her wedding. She couldn’t help the way she looked, but she could take the high road and be a good person.
Besides, Rockfield’s meant something to her, too. After the business schools in Baltimore slammed their doors in her face, Henry had given her a chance. She’d devoured his books, the best gift anyone had ever given her. Manipulating watermen into lower prices was her highest achievement. If she erased it, she’d be a nobody again.
When the service ended, Mama studied her face as they walked outside into the sunshine.
“Looks like that sermon did you some good.”
“Maybe. All I want to do is get home and sleep for the rest of the day.”
When Mama halted in her tracks, Sadie bumped into her.
“Well, look who’s here,” her mother said.
The blood drained from Sadie’s face, making her forget everything she’d decided during today’s service. At the edge of the churchyard, with a clump of jonquils in hand, stood Henry Rockfield.
Henry’s heart pounded in his throat when he spotted Sadie walking down the brick pathway with her mother. Even though she wore the plainer black dress, she looked even more beautiful than she had last evening. Her intelligent eyes wore something different today, too—haunted beauty and dignity.
He had no idea what she’d do to him, but she couldn’t get too violent with her friends, family, and neighbors around.
“Sadie, I need to talk to you.”
“There’s nothing to say. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”
“Please.” He held the flowers toward her, but she didn’t take them. “Can we sit on that bench over there?”
It had a nice view of the inlet. More importantly, it was private.
Her brother, Leroy, nodded a greeting at him while draping a protective arm around her. Had she told him anything? Having Caleb angry at him was bad enough. He didn’t care to tangle with Sadie’s overprotective brother.
“You all go on back to the house in Leroy’s boat,” she said. “I’ll be there soon.”
He held her elbow to escort her to the stone bench, but she shook off his hand. When they sat, he laid the flowers between them.
“I’m so very sorry.” The words choked out of him in a whisper.
“Thank you for your apology.”
Why was she so calm? He half expected her to punch him hard enough to send him rolling down the hill into the creek.
“I know why you’re here,” she said, gazing at the sea. “You’re afraid I’ll ruin your company.”
“The notion did enter my mind, but that can wait. Sadie, there’s something I need to tell you.”
“I’d rather not discuss last night. Please, let’s forget it ever happened.”
He gripped her wrist, too tightly for her to slip it free. “I need to tell you about Natalie. Should have done it before we…”
“Another woman. Again.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “A pretty white one, I’m sure.”
“Well, yes. I met her—”
She managed to pull her wrist free and held up her hand. “I don’t want to know any more.”
A winter’s worth of cold seeped from the stone slab into his legs.
“She’s dead. Has been a long time. Until yesterday evening.”
Curiosity flickered across her face. Enough to encourage him to go on.
“When I was sixteen, I roamed the river in my boat. Looking for somewhere to stick my hard cock, I guess.” He swallowed. “Okay, I’ll leave out the details. I got her with child.”
Sadie’s eyes widened. “Is that how she died?”
“Yes, she had a miscarriage.” He dug his fingertips into his palm. “Her family didn’t think I was good enough to marry her. They were right.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” She picked up one of the jonquils between them and twirled it. “Have there been any women in your life since?”
“Not until you.”
He watched her intelligent eyes, processing what he’d told her. The hurt in them didn’t go away, though.
“I saw her lying there instead of you. Dead. Like a ghost. Th-there was even…blood.”
“You’ve got some imagination, Mr. Rockfield.” She crossed her arms, and the flower dropped to the ground. “Just tell me you’re not interested in me as a woman. Don’t insult me by making up some horror story.”
“It’s not a story,” he insisted.
“I’m not stupid. You can’t expect me to believe such a wild explanation.”
“It’s the truth.” He gripped her arms. “Ask my brother. He knows all about it.”
“So you were afraid if you made love to me, the same thing might happen?”
He nodded. “And you mean even more to me than she did.”
She patted the sides of her hips. “I think I can handle childbirth.”
“I’m so relieved you understand.” He interlaced his fingers with hers. “When do you want to try it again?”
She stood and dropped his hand. “I can’t go through that again, seeing disgust on a man’s face when he looks at me.”
“It won’t happen again. I promise to get a better hold on myself next time.”
She eyed him with cool wariness. “I can’t take that chance.”
“How can you even question how desirable you are?” he asked. “On my fishing trip with Caleb, I climaxed inside my trousers from thinking about you.”
Her eyebrows rose. “You did?”
“That’s why I rushed home.”
“Thanks for telling me, but my mind is made up.”
“All right. We don’t have to do…that.” He picked up one of the flowers and held it out to her. “You can still be my girl. As I said, I care about you.”
“I know what this is about.” She plucked a petal off his flower, releasing its sweet scent. “You’re trying to butter me up so I’ll keep running your company.”
“Not at all. I wouldn’t even blame you if you quit.”
Her eyes blazed. “Are you firing me?”
“No!”
“Good. I’ve decided not to destroy your business, but from now on, it’s going to be strictly business between us.”
Sadie might be sassy, but she’d always been honest. He looked at her eyes and the church behind her, and knew she meant every word.
“Absolutely. Thank you.”
She rubbed her arms. “If that’s all, I’m anxious to get home.”
“Did you get home all right…afterward?”
“Actually, I got caught in some line and almost capsized the boat. Leroy needs to fix it.”
Damn.
Then his raging cock had almost killed this woman, too. Couldn’t he fucking do anything right for once?
He stood. “I’ll take you home in my boat and tow yours.”
His heart felt as heavy as the stone bench he’d sat on. Shouldn’t he be skipping with joy? He’d minimized the damage to the company exactly as Caleb expected. But he wanted more. He wanted to make love to her.
Clearly, he’d never get the chance. He planned to spend even more time on the water, away from her and the office. Because the more he was with her, the more he’d want her. And he’d rather die than hurt her again.
And despite what had happened to her, the calm dignity she’d shown today made him realize something. He was falling in love with her.
Chapter Eleven
Sadie sat in her office next Wednesday evening, drumming her fingers on the papers. Maybe she’d caught Henry’s learning problem because the numbers swam before her eyes, too. Not that she saw much of him. He spent most of his time on the water these days.
When they’d talked in the churchyard, she’d asked him to keep things strictly business. He’d complied, so why wasn’t she happy? What happened to the thrill of running the company?
The tiny room seemed to grow smaller each day. She’d rather be on the water with Henry. His story about that poor girl had broken her heart. He’d probably never get over it. Sadie toyed with her pencil. Why had she fallen for a man who’d never want her, or any other woman?
After opening a folder and closing it again, she shoved it aside. She missed spending time with him during those after-hours work sessions. After living with Mama night and day, being around someone else was refreshing. Especially someone handsome and male.
A relationship wouldn’t work. Aside from the color barrier, he loved the sea, and she hated it. But if he came in off the water in his rugged clothes and tousled hair one more time, she’d go insane.
They needed to get away from here. Away from the eyes of the Klan, Mama, and plant responsibilities. Away from Natalie’s ghost. But he needed her here to watch over the company. Maybe she should get another job so she could forget about him. None would be nearly as good as this one, though.
Face it, Sadie. You’re doomed to forever want a man you can never have.
Excitement tingled through her when booted footsteps sounded in the hall. He didn’t even look at her as she summarized the day’s business. When he took off his cap, his forelock of hair—damp with salt water—bounced free. Her fingers itched to touch it.
“Thanks again for holding down the fort,” he said.
“You mean you’re thankful I haven’t destroyed the place yet?”
Her joke pulled a little smile out of him. “I knew you wouldn’t.”
“Never assume anything. I’m still plotting how to do it.” She stacked her papers. “Will you be at sea the rest of the week?”
He nodded. “I’m going to Crisfield Saturday to buy those baby oysters for reseeding the beds. Thanks to your research, I’ll get a good price there.”
Crisfield was on Maryland’s eastern shore, which might as well be on the moon. But she couldn’t stand their daily formality in this plant, her home had little privacy, and she’d rather die than go back to his cottage.
“Do you need me to go with you to help with the business part of it?” she asked.
“No, you’ve worked hard all week and deserve a weekend off.”
She gripped her pen. “I was just thinking how nice it would be to get away for a little trip.”
“I’m sorry, Sadie. I don’t think it would be good for our business relationship.”
To hell with their business relationship. She wanted him. Not planned and formal, like their disastrous date, but on the spur of the moment. Just once. If she ended up hating the sea more than ever, so much the better. Maybe then she’d finally be able to get him out of her system. No matter which way things went, she’d be better off than she was now.
She must be crazy to risk heartache again, but anything would be better than this day-to-day numbness.
* * *
Early Saturday morning, Sadie crossed Rockfield’s pier under a cold, driving rain and slipped unseen onto Henry’s boat. She’d prepared for days, packing food, water, and extra clothes. Dressed in Leroy’s old pants, shirt, and jacket, she felt ready for anything.
Her heart hammered in her throat as she climbed into one of the large storage bins on the side. She’d never been a stowaway before and hoped Henry wouldn’t be too angry when he discovered her.