Safe Word (2 page)

“That’s anyone’s guess,” he replied.  “For now I guess I’m content enough where I am.”

She wrinkled her nose.  “I don’t mean to be a downer, but don’t you get bored here?”

“Do you?” he asked instead of answering the question.

“Yes!” she exclaimed rather dramatically.  “I am
so
bored!”  Then, realizing that maybe that hadn’t come off the way she had intended, she clarified.  “I don’t mean I’m bored right now.  I just mean in general.  I’m not going to lie:  I was kind of bored earlier on...but not anymore.  So thank you for saving me from boredom,” she finished lamely.

“What are you doing on Friday night?” Zane asked.

“Honestly?”

“Yes.”

She sighed.  “I don’t even want to admit to this because it’s so embarrassing.  But I will probably sitting at home on the couch in my ugliest pajamas watching terrible made for TV movies with my parents while I binge on popcorn.  It’s what I do almost every weekend.”

“Wow.”

“It’s sad, I know.  But I feel like it would be even sadder to go out somewhere alone...it would be like making a big fat announcement to the world that I have no friends.  And for the record, I do have friends,” she added in an attempt to preserve some scrap of dignity.  “It’s just that most of them live far away, and the ones who are here are busy being grownups.”

“So change it up a little.  Come out with me this Friday,” Zane said.

Melody hesitated, mostly just because she was trying to avoid belching.  She probably should have drunk that last beer a bit slower...or maybe not at all.  Oops.

“I’m not asking you on a date,” Zane clarified when she didn’t respond right away.

“I didn’t think you were,” Melody shot back, perhaps a bit too defensively.

“Well okay then.  I’m just saying, as a guy who
does
hang out at the bar alone, it would be nice to have some company.  Come out with me and help me feel slightly less pathetic, would you?  Besides, Friday is trivia night.  There are prizes for first place –
and
last place,” he informed her.

“Well I doubt I can help you get first place, but if last place is what you’re after I’m your girl.”

“Then I guess you’re my girl.”

There was a pregnant pause as their eyes met.  Melody quickly forced herself to look away, feeling her face redden.  That was when she noticed the music had stopped and everyone was assembling around the bride and the groom to watch as they cut their wedding cake and then, most likely, unceremoniously shoved it into one another’s faces.

Where had the time gone?  Before Zane had sat down next to her Melody had been watching the clock like a hawk, desperate to make a hasty exit.  But once he had appeared she had lost herself in the conversation.  It felt like no time had passed at all.  In fact, she could have happily continued talking to Zane all night long.

And she felt warm all over every time she thought of what he had said, even if it had been nothing more than an innocent, offhand comment.  She liked the thought of being his girl.  In fact, she liked it very much indeed.

The next day when Melody had sobered up, she was a bit mortified by how forthcoming she had been with Zane.  Usually she tried to play it cool, referring to her parents as “roommates” so that no one would suspect she was nearly thirty and still living at home. 

And if she was sober, she never would have admitted to having a non-existent social life.

What a loser she had made herself out to be! 

Zane was gorgeous, self-assured and interesting as hell.  He was well-traveled, well-spoken and uh, had she mentioned gorgeous?  He was the type of guy she would normally go out of her way to impress.  But she’d blown that chance the second she’d gotten a little too tipsy and opened her big fat mouth.

Self-pity was so unattractive, and yet that was what she had been wallowing in the night of the wedding.  She’d complained, opened up to him way too much about her pitiful little life and just been a big mess in general.  What had she been thinking?

Melody briefly contemplated canceling on Zane, but she had to admit she was excited by the prospect of getting out of the house on a Friday night.  Moving back to her relatively small hometown and living with her parents made her feel like she was in her sixties rather than her late twenties.  A night out would be good for her.

Besides, Melody didn’t know Zane’s phone number and it wasn’t listed in the phone book...she had checked.  There was no way to cancel on him unless she simply didn’t show up, and she wasn’t about to add “rude” to the list of unflattering adjectives he could use to describe her.

So it was decided.  She was going to show up at the bar as planned.  And once there, she was going to do her damnedest to help him lose horribly at trivia.

She promised herself she would have a one drink limit.  After all, she had to redeem herself after the way she had whined to Zane the other night.  She had to show him she was an interesting and sophisticated woman rather than the childish, negative whiner she had portrayed herself as the night of the wedding.

She wasn’t sure why, but she felt an inexplicable need to impress Zane.  Maybe it was because in her mind he would always be her friends’ big brother, and she had always felt a need to measure up to The Big Kids.  Or maybe it was simply because he was sinfully good looking and made her feel flushed every time his gorgeous blue eyes met hers.

Either way, she was pretty excited for Friday night to roll around.

On Friday afternoon, Melody screeched into the driveway of her parents’ place and ran into the house, anxious to get upstairs and primp in front of the mirror.  She hadn’t had a proper night out in a long time, so she was damn well going to make this one count! 

When Melody flung open the front door, she nearly collided with her mother.

“Well hello!  I haven’t seen you all day.  Where have you been?” Melody’s mother asked curiously.  The question was innocent enough, but the way her parents were constantly sticking their noses into her business drove Melody a little crazy.  It felt as though she was a teenager again – and not in a good way!

“I had a job interview in the city today,” Melody replied.

“Oh!  Good for you!  How did it go?”

“It wasn’t what I’m looking for,” Melody replied.  “Actually, it’s exactly what I’m
not
looking for...the ad I responded to was kind of deceiving.  But don’t worry, Mom...I’ve picked up some contract work,” she added, hoping to avoid another discussion about Life Plans.

“What kind of contract work?” her mother asked.

Melody shrugged.  “It’s some really simple web design stuff.   I’m helping a couple bloggers who obviously know
nothing
about computers build and update web sites.  I get to work online from home, so hooray for no commute, I guess.”

Her mother furrowed her brow.  “What about psychology?  I don’t know how you can turn your back on a career you haven’t even given a fair chance,” she said.  “Your father and I would both love to see you back in school, you know, to finish what you started.  You could be a
doctor
one day, you know!”

“Yes Mom, I know,” Melody sighed, trying her best to keep her temper in check.  “You’ve only mentioned it a thousand times.  But it’s not what I want.”

“Well what about at least putting the education you have to use, then?” her mother pressed.  “Aren’t there places that will hire you now?  Francine Bouchard’s son Eddie went through for the same thing as you.  He only has a master’s degree because unlike you his performance wasn’t strong enough to go any further...but now he makes good money working as a –”

“
Mom
!” Melody interrupted in exasperation.  “For the millionth time, I don’t know who Francine Bouchard’s son Eddie is and I don’t care what he does for a living.  The whole point is I don’t want to be a psychologist anymore, okay?”

She could understand her parents’ point of view to some extent.  They simply wanted her to be successful in life.  But she wished they would trust her to make her own decisions rather than trying to make her conform to the standards they had set for her.  Had it not been for their subtle prodding, she may not have ever chosen to study psychology in the first place.

But she had, and there was no getting those wasted years back...or the wasted tuition.

Truthfully, her mother was probably most upset about not being able to brag to her friends that her daughter had a prestigious, highly-respected job.  For a time she’d been able to hold her head high and boast that her daughter was at the top of her class and destined for greatness.  Now, though?  Not so much.

Melody would never understand how women of her mother’s age could get so competitive over stupid things like whose adult child made the most money or whose grandkid learned to Go Tinkle in the Potty first.  It was completely and utterly ridiculous.

“Well I don’t understand how you’re so sure you hate something you haven’t even experienced,” her mother huffed.  “You had so much potential, Melody, and you’re such a smart girl.  Now you’re going to waste all that, and for what?”

“I already told you, Mom, I’m going to be doing some contract work.  You know, web design stuff,” Melody replied, her patience wearing thin.  The worst part was that her mother was voicing some of Melody’s own concerns.  It made her feel like a huge disappointment, not to mention an utter failure.  And it made her fearful for her future.

“I don’t even know what that means,” her mother complained.  “And how do you know it’s legit?  What if it’s a scam?  The web is apparently overrun with unsavory people running scams,” she announced authoritatively.  “Are you sure you should even be on there at all?” 

Melody’s mother was not exactly computer savvy.  And she could also be a bit of a worrywart.

“It’s not a scam.  It’s a legitimate contract job that will pay my bills, okay?  And it will be a nice change of pace, so I’m looking forward to doing it.  That’s really all you need to know, Mom.”

“It is
not
all I need to know!” her mother retorted somewhat dramatically.  “In case you’ve forgotten, I am your
mother
!  I have a vested interest in your life and well being!  You try to tell me your life is none of my business...well you
are
my business!”

“Mom, I really think you need to get a hobby,” Melody muttered.  “I know you’re still getting used to retirement, but you can’t turn obsessing over me into a fulltime job.”

“I don’t obsess over you!”

“Actually, that’s exactly what you do,” Melody pointed out.  “It’s sort of like I have a stalker.”

“Oh you exaggerate,” her mother said dismissively.

Growing frustrated, Melody tried to edge past her mother.  “I have to get going,” she said.

“Where are you going?  I thought we were going to watch a movie tonight?”

Melody shook her head.  “I have plans tonight, so you and Dad will finally get some alone time.”

“What if we don’t want alone time?” her mother asked defiantly.  “We like having you around.  But maybe if you’re back early enough we can wait and watch the movie when you’re home.  Where are you going?  Are you going out?”

“Yes.  And don’t wait for me.  Just watch the movie, okay?”

“Who are you going out with?”

“Mom, please can I just go upstairs?” Melody asked as her mother deliberately blocked the way.

“Are you going on a date?” she demanded, all ears.

“
Mom
!” Melody snapped, completely exasperated now.

“Okay, okay, mind my own business, I know,” her mother replied, throwing her hands up in the air.  “I was just going to suggest that you could bring your mystery man over to watch that movie with us tonight, that’s all.  It would be like a double date!  Doesn’t that sound fun?”

“Uh...thanks, but no,” Melody replied, finally spotting an opening and taking it.  Charging forward, she faked a left and then jumped to the right, slipping past her overly involved mother and dashing up the stairs.  She had escaped!  Success!

As Melody disappeared into her room and began to get ready, she couldn’t help but chuckle at her mother’s suggestion.  Her evening out with Zane wasn’t a date – he had made that very clear – but even if it was, in what universe would it be a good idea to bring him home for a so-called double date with her parents?  The mere thought made Melody shudder!

Melody’s parents had had her and her older brother later in life.  They had been in their mid-thirties when her brother had been born, and both had been pushing forty when she had arrived.  Sometimes the generation gap felt enormous – even bigger than it actually was! 

Though it seemed completely unfair, Melody’s brother was allowed to live his own life relatively free from parental interference.  He was off doing his own thing, working crazy hours as a highly paid consultant for a big oil company down in Texas. 

To be honest, he probably got into a hell of a lot more trouble than she ever had.

But Melody was the one her parents had always worried about and tried to smother with good intentions.  Maybe it was because she was their only daughter.  Or maybe it was because she was their youngest child.  Whatever the reason, it was bad.  As much as she loved her parents, sometimes she felt like she was suffocating when she was around them. 

Moving home had probably been a huge mistake, but financially it had made sense.  She regretted the decision now, but there wasn’t much she could do about it until she sorted out her life and money situation.  So she was stuck.  It wasn’t a good feeling.

What
was
a good feeling, however, was having something to look forward to.  So Melody cast all thoughts of her helicopter parents out of her mind and concentrated on getting ready for her night out with Zane.  Two coats of midnight black mascara gave her long, thick, full lashes, and a touch of lip gloss topped off the look nicely. 

Back when she had been living in the city, Melody had enjoyed taking the occasional fashion risk.  She loved trends, whether it was bright red thigh high boots, animal print coats or faux leather leggings.  But she wasn’t in the city anymore, and she knew that those sorts of things would look out of place in her small, sleepy hometown.

It pained her that whole section of her fun college wardrobe was now essentially off limits.

But she didn’t want to stick out like a sore thumb, so she chose something more conservative to wear.  Fitted blue jeans and a black button up blouse with a deep v-neck accentuated Melody’s curves without making her look out of place.  She complemented the ensemble with a pair of silver hoop earrings and black stiletto knee high boots that made her legs look long and lean.

Then she rushed downstairs, hurrying past her mother before she had to suffer through yet another barrage of questions.  It was time to go out and hopefully have a little fun.  God knew she needed that!  Simply being around someone her own age in a non-wedding setting sounded amazing.

And it didn’t hurt that it was Zane who she was on her way to meet.

Part of Melody wished he
had
asked her out on a date.  He was sexy as hell and had a strange sort of intensity about him that drew her in, making her hang on his every word.  She wanted to know him...and be known by him.  She wanted all sorts of things...

“Oh my God, what’s wrong with you?” Melody asked her reflection in the car’s rear view mirror as she backed out of her parents’ driveway.  She’d had one conversation with the guy and now she was what, fantasizing about going to bed with him or something?  “Get a grip!” she ordered herself sternly. 

Yet despite her best efforts, Melody couldn’t help but think of Zane the entire drive to the bar.  She found herself riddled with questions about him.  She wanted to know everything about him and she wanted to know what it felt like to be in his arms and underneath him and... 

Oh God.

As she walked into the laid back, nondescript bar where bored locals hung out after work, Melody tried to act cool.  She scanned the area in search of Zane, but when she spotted him slouched down in a booth near the back looking relaxed and gorgeous, all bets were off.  She immediately felt her heart begin to race as adrenaline surged through her.