Sanctuary of Mine (8 page)

Mackenzie

Tight jeans hang low on his hips. His swagger, I’m sure, raises my body temperature a couple of degrees. Despite the fact that he’s wearing a hoodie over his t-shirt, it does nothing to hide the bulk of his muscle that flexes underneath as he walks towards me. Footballers have never been my thing, but I think where Tyler Redding is concerned, I’m willing to make an exception.

‘Hey,’ he says as he lets his eyes rove over my body. Despite being fully clothed I suddenly feel like I’m standing butt naked in the middle of the parking lot.

‘Hi, great game,’ I offer, hopin
g to distract him from consuming me without actually touching me.

‘Thanks, I’m gonna be sore tomorrow, though,’ he smiles, his ever present dimples giving me something other than his lips to focus on. ‘So, are you ready to get out of here?’

‘Hell yes,’ I say, a little too enthusiastically. He laughs, which causes an infectious giggle to escape my throat.
Just calm down! He’s going to think you’re a complete idiot if you keep this up.

‘My bike is just over here, come on.’ His warm hand takes my cold one and I let him lead me to where it’s parked. I’m thankful I dressed in warm clothing or I might have had to decline the lift. He offers me a helmet before straddling the seat and gunning the engine. Excitement pours off me as I quickly secure my helmet.

‘Hop on and hold tight,’ he grins. Without nearly as much fuss as I was expecting, I manage to climb on the seat behind him. He reaches for my arms and wraps them around his middle. Thinking I’m as close as I can possibly get, he reaches around to grab under my knees and haul me forward so that my pelvis is pressing up against his backside.

‘That’s better,’ he yells between gunning the engine. I smile, resting my cheek on his leather jacket so I can see around his left shoulder. This is going to be fun.

When he kicks the bike’s stand up I grasp around his middle tightly. He navigates through the people mingling around the car park and heads towards the exit. I’m absolutely gleeful that Marla and her posse are glaring at me as we pass them. This is something I won’t forget in a hurry. He feels solid to hold – strong and dependable. And I feel … happy. With evening burnishing the landscape, we zip through cars and head south. It’s only when I see the sign for La Perouse that I know where we’re going.

The streets are relatively quiet for this time of evening and Tyler pays no mind to the fact that cops could be on the road. He’s a good rider, making me feel secure and safe as I hold on tight around his middle. I almost don’t want the ride to end. Feeling the heat through his jeans against my legs is making me hot in more ways than one. He parks the bike on Anzac Parade right across from the Boat Shed – a small restaurant/café that the locals use. Directly behind the Boat Shed is Frenchmans Bay, which has a little sandy cove along the shore line.

Accidentally on purpose, I stumble as I get off the bike and fall right into Tyler’s chest. It’s rock-hard to the touch, the fabric of his clothing leaving nothing to the imagination.

‘Woah there!’ He steadies me by grasping my hips with his big firm hands.

‘Sorry,’ I offer, but I think we both know I’m really not.

‘No trouble, Mack. Let me help you with your helmet.’ He takes it off for me and stores it in the side compartment of the bike. I do the best I can to shake my flat helmet hair loose from my head. I catch him watching me.

Closing the distance between us he presses his body against mine. I’m a heck of a lot shorter than Tyler and find myself gazing at chest level. He lifts my chin with his finger so I’m looking directly into his eyes.

‘Beautiful,’ he whispers. My mouth goes dry.

‘The view?’ His eyes gaze past my face, taking in our surroundings.

‘I guess it is, but I was referring to you.’

‘Oh …’

‘You don’t have to be embarrassed every time I pay you a compliment, you know.’

‘Okay – I’m just not used to it I guess.’

‘No one ever tells you you’re beautiful?’ The middle of his forehead creases as he frowns.

‘No, not really. Not unless you count my dad.’ I suddenly wish I could take my words back. I don’t want Tyler realising that he’s actually hanging out with someone who could be perceived as being a freak or a weirdo, or worse yet, immature.

‘Well, that is a travesty,’ he sighs. Something flashes across his features and instantly my curiosity is piqued.

‘What?’

‘Nothing … it’s just …
your dad, he’s the guy who picked you up last week from school?’ He looks hopeful and I could just kiss him for his vulnerability.

‘Yes.’

‘Good, because for a while I was beginning to think that perhaps you might like older men,’ he laughs. So I had been right about him being jealous. On the inside I’m jumping up and down – celebrating that he would have such feelings for me. On the outside I try to tone it down a bit.

‘Ew, gross. There is no way I would date a guy as old as my dad.’

‘I’m pleased to hear that, at least I know I won’t have any competition in that department.’

‘You, competition? I find that hard to believe,’ I scoff. He cups my chin with his hands, a serious look on his face.

‘Are you blind, Mackenzie? Do you seriously not see the way most guys look at you?’

In a little way, I’m gleeful to think that there actually might be people of the opposite sex who find me attractive. On the other hand, there is a part of me that screams to be invisible so that nobody can ever get close enough to know the real me. And hurt me. I look at Tyler now, searching for any sign that he is having me on. Sincerity is the only thing that reaches me.

‘I, ah … I don’t really like people noticing me.’

‘Well I notice you, and I’m not about to stop either, so get used to it.’ His dominance gives me the confidence boost to be reassured that Levi was right. Tyler is definitely into me.

‘Let’s go,’ he says, gently tugging on my hand. I let him pull me across the road and lead me to the rocks that trail down to the sandy cove. We wobble over them to the shore line, hand in hand as the moon hangs lazily in the sky. We walk in silence for a minute before we start swapping life stories; I’m careful to avoid my parent’s divorce and my eating disorder. He also seems to be holding something back, but I can’t for the life of me imagine what it could be. He asks about Levi and I try to explain the complexity of our friendship without giving too much away.

‘So, do you have any brothers or sister?’ he asks.

‘No, it’s just me.’

‘Do you ever wish you did have a sibling?’ I ponder this for a moment.

‘Not really. I mean, I’m sure I would love them if I had one, you know? But I think you can’t really miss what you’ve never had. Besides, having another person in our family would be just one more who had to suffer through my parent’s divorce. It was … hard.’ We’re going to have to get off this topic and fast or I’m going to end up blubbing before Tyler even knows what hit him.

Tyler seems to recognize my reluctance to continue with the conversation, and I’m happy with the silence that ensues. Tiny lights pin-prick the horizon, but we are the only people who are walking along the little beach. By now we have neared the end of the cove and Tyler leads me further up the beach away from the water. He sits down on the sand, pulling m
e between his legs. He slides my arse backwards so I’m tucked up neatly against his body. Without saying another word, he slowly lets his hands trail over my shoulders. His fingers start to knead the knots that are the source of all my tension. Instinctively he knows just where to touch me. I let his fingers work their magic, taking all the stress out of my body with just a simple action.

Without realizing it, I’m lulled into security. My head rolls backwards to rest on his shoulders, the Bay disappearing as my eyes close involuntary. The pressure from his fingers continues, but there is a new sensation that’s invading my senses. His lips find my neck, blazing hot kisses from my ear down towards my shoulder. Being touched in this way has no right to feel so good. But I can’t help it. I’m enchanted. Against my backside I can feel the pressure of his erection pressing up against me. Without even realising, I let out a deep throated moan.

‘Oh my god, sorry!’ I say, startled by my reaction, and feeling utterly foolish for having being so lax in acting like a wanton hormonal teen. He chuckles.

‘Don’t be. It lets me know I’m doing my job right.’ His mouth finds my neck again, but his hands have left my shoulders and have found the nape of my neck. Soon, they engulf my chin, angling it towards his mouth so he can kiss me there too. I surprise both of us when I twist around and roll on top of him. There is something, rather
someone
inside of me that he’s unleashed and I’ll be damned if I’m going to lock her back up again.

His strong hands grab my waist and easily slide me up the length of his body until my lips find his. I could easily get lost in this moment, but right now, I don’t really care. His tongue seeks out my own, grazing my teeth as he devours me. He presses down firmly on my backside, crushing my pelvis against his erection. Even through his pants, if I didn’t say I wasn’t a little alarmed by his size I would be lying. I’m breathless as he turns on every nerve ending in my body. I want more of him. I doubt if he took my virginity I would care very little.

The stubble on his chin grazes my face, which reminds me of his masculinity and strength. I don’t know if I should be at all afraid, but the absence of fear leads me to believe that Tyler would never do anything I didn’t want to do. He breaks away from me, panting while he licks his lips. God I want to bite them – just a little bit. His hands find my hair tie, letting loose my long hair. Strands of chestnut fall around his face and he twirls it around his finger, pulling on it softly to bring me back to his lips.

Tentatively, I take his bottom lip between my teeth. A low growl is his response.

‘You better stop that before you make me lose control,’ he says huskily.

‘What if I don’t want you to stop?’
Who is this brazen girl who has taken over my body?

‘Don’t get me wrong, Mack, I’m totally hot for you right now – making out with you. But I don’t inten
d to make love to you on the beach.’ His words send a tingle through my entire body, and down
there,
too. I can only imagine what it would be like to have Tyler inside of me.

‘Oh,’ is all I can muster. I’m still rattled by the way he completely made me lose control of all my senses.

‘But I
do intend to make love to you,’ he grins.

‘Oh,
Ohh
...’ I say as his mouth finds mine again. He trails tiny kisses all over my lips and cheeks, daring me to pull away as he overwhelms me.

‘So, when am I going to see you again? When, Mackenzie?’ His tone is urgent as he breathlessly urges me to give him an answer.

‘Next Friday?’

‘That’s a whole week away,’ he growls, ‘I can’t wait that long.’

‘I have plans with Levi tomorrow, but I guess I could cancel …’

‘Do it.’ There is this miniscule part of me that suddenly feels like a shitty friend because I know I’m going to blow off my
only
friend for a boy. On the other hand, my inner devil is performing ‘the crazy idiot’ air guitar move while
Highway to Hell
by AC/DC floats around my brain, clearly happy with this turn of events. Tyler is staring intently at me, waiting for an answer. I grin like an idiot and nod my head furiously.

‘So that’s a yes then?’

‘Yeah, that’s a yes.’

Tyler

Mack is the kind of chick that I’d break all the rules for. In fact, I think I’ve already broken all the ones I set for myself before I even had the balls to ask her out. Seriously, what was I thinking? I’m on my way home and rocking out to ‘Free Falling’ by Tom Petty as it blasts through my ear phones under my helmet. Waves of excitement keep washing over me as I remember each and every touch; every look she’s given me tonight. I abruptly bang my hand on the bike’s handle bars when I remember how forward I was in telling her I’m going to make love to her.
Make Love.
It sounds so fucking corny. What I really want to do is immerse myself inside of her and touch every single part of her soul until she’s crying out for more. I want to make her come apart in my arms so that everything she is is laid bare at my feet. There is an innate need to consume her. I want her, badly.

A horn blows behind me and I realise I’ve been daydreaming at the lights. Commanding myself to concentrate, I put the bike in gear and head towards home. It’s late, so I’m surprised the lights are still on when I park in the driveway. Through the expansive glass, I see mum and dad, perched at the kitchen bench with coffee cups in their hands. Something’s up.

‘I’m home,’ I call as I make my way up the stairs.

‘We’re in the kitchen honey.’

‘I know mum, I could see you from the street,’ I say as I join them.

‘I’ll have to remember to close the blinds once the sun goes down.’ She kisses my head as I pull up a bar stool next to her.

‘What’s up? You guys are normally in bed a lot earlier than this.’

‘We were just discussing a job offer your dad was presented with today.’

‘Really? What sort of job offer?’

‘I’ve been offered a contract to work out of Papua New Guinea for a while.’

‘How long is a while? Are we talking months here? What about mum, will she be going with you?’ I feel uneasy.

‘More than likely the contract would be for several years, but don’t worry just yet, there is a lot to consider before I accept such an offer.’

‘That means we’d have to go with you, doesn’t it? I ask, the realisation of what his decision would mean to me sinking in.

‘Yes, it would.’

‘I’d be happy for you dad, and I don’t want to sound selfish here, but this is my senior year in school, I can’t just pack up and leave. And what about football? I’m already on all the scouts’ radar for drafting next year, what am I supposed to do about that, just give it up? And now things with Mack …’

‘Darling, please don’t get worked up about this just yet. Your dad and I haven’t made any firm decisions. We recognise this is a very big decision – one that has serious consequences for you. What we can promise you is that we would do everything to make sure that none of your studies or dreams suffer if we take up
the offer.’

‘And Mackenzie
? I can’t very well take her with me, can I?’

‘It’s serious between you two? I thought you were just getting to know one another?’ My dad doesn’t look unkindly towards me. In fact, he seems kind of amused by my pouting.

‘I know she’s special. I know I care a lot about her and I’m not ready to have that rug pulled out from under me just yet.’

‘Aww, sweetie, we won’t be making any decisions lightly, okay. We were teenagers once too, and
we know how much things mean to you at your age. Tell you what, why don’t you invite Mackenzie around for dinner and give us the chance to meet her, okay?’

‘Sure mum, that sounds nice.’ I excuse myself, feigning tiredness as my reason for retreating to my room.

It’s a bullshit excuse and I think they know it. After dropping a bomb like that, I’m pretty sure I’m going to be awake for the rest of the evening. After a quick shower, I hop under the sheets and stare at the ceiling. Fuck! Why is it, just when things seems to be going great, fate steps in and lands a swift kick to the nuts. No fair, I want my cake and to eat it too. I’m sure if my parentals make the decision to go I can chalk the whole thing up to character building, or some such crap. But the thing that worries me the most is whether any semblance of a relationship with Mackenzie could survive the distance.

I know she’s not like other girls, but does she like me enough to even consider a long distance relationship? And I’m male. I know the way most guys think. In the absence of a boyfriend, I’m pretty sure that soon enough, males are going to come swarming like buzzards to a carcass. Okay, I don’t really want to assimilate Mackenzie with a dead animal, but you get my drift. Men, boys, whoever – they’re all going to find her attractive and come knocking sooner or later.

As my night turns to morning and I toss restlessly in bed, I come to the conclusion that either way my parents decide, I’m going to rock Mackenzie’s socks off so bad she’s never going to look at another guy again. Wishful thinking perhaps, but I prefer to think of it as a positive affirmation.
Mackenzie is gonna fall so hard for me she’s not going to know what hit her.

Eventually I do fall asleep, but it’s not the peaceful rest I was wanting. My sleep is fitful and full of dread. I dream I’m standing on the shore of Bondi, looking out towards the ocean when the water is sucked out for miles. While I stand and take in the sand shelf that has been revealed in the deficit of water, I realise what’s about to happen. There is no one there but me, alone and scared as the ground starts to shake. The large wave is impossible to judge, but I know by the time it hits me, it’s going to be huge. I dread drowning; suffocating with the salt water as it fills my lungs. I wait; the cold water inevitable as the shelf of water roars towards me. Not much longer and it will all be over. The suspense is killing me. It’s like having an outer body experience. I know I need to move, fight and struggle to preserve the life within me. But I can’t move. I can’t wake from the dream and escape back to reality. Deep cracks appear in the sand, fissures opening up all around me. Suspense fills me as I wait to see if I will be swallowed by the tsunami or plummet through the sandy ground I’m standing on.

In the end, neither happens. The alarm clock sounds noisily, startling me from my nightmare as I fall from my mattress to the bedroom floor. I land with a thud, my elbow banging the bedside drawers. Crap. I certainly don’t need a psychologist to work that one out. The impending decision of my dad’s job offer is weighing heavily on my mind and I don’t like it. Not one little bit.