Authors: Dani Jace
Peri touched Christy’s shoulder. “I wish we could have met under difference circumstances. I’m so sorry. Wish there was something I could do for you."
Sam’s widow cut a glance to him and said to Peri, “How about make this self-proclaimed bachelor eat his words?”
He never realized Christy wanted him to settle down. Peri had already shown she could cure his wanderlust, but marriage? Heat rushed to Jax’s cheeks.
Peri let out an amused-sounding sigh. “You know a SEAL’s iron will.”
She nodded. “Well, at least you’re going in with your eyes open.”
As other guests approached, he introduced Peri. She seemed at ease with his peers and their families, probably drawing on her social bartending skills and genuine, easygoing personality. Another way she brought peace into his life.
They’d moved outside to the deck for some fresh air when she struck up a conversation with his former chief’s wife by complimenting the woman’s sandals.
His former CO pulled Jax to the side as he lit a cigar. The man reminded him of a buffalo. Tall but thick, with dark wavy hair and kind brown eyes.
“Wow, she’s a doll. Have you talked to the CO in Little Creek yet?”
“Not yet. She surprised me by flying out here.” His beautiful lady had nearly everyone’s attention.
“Has her visit sealed the deal on what you want?” His chief puffed a long trail of smoke.
That and how he still hungered for her after making love to her three times in the last couple of hours. Jax smoothed his hand along the railing. “Pretty much.”
“Then call them in the morning. We’d hate to lose you, but I’d hate for you lose such a lovely lady.” He nodded toward Peri and pounded Jax’s shoulder.
His superior’s deep laugh vibrated through him.
From his shirt pocket, he produced another stogie and raised his beer. “Let’s toast to Sam and the possibility of you becoming an East Coaster.”
Jax toasted his lost friend, and lit his cigar. Smoke drifted on his exhale. He’d felt like he’d been drifting since his dad died. Now, he envisioned the road ahead and he wanted Peri with him.
* * * *
During the ride back to Jax’s place, Peri mulled over bits of conversation she’d overheard between him and his commanding officer. “So, will you return to your team?”
“Not likely.” He sighed like a man with a problem as he parked. “Let’s go for a walk.”
The sand warmed her bare feet, but she broke out in chill bumps, awaiting another confession from him. With her luck, he’d already been reassigned and had orders to ship out tomorrow. Was she a covetous witch to hope for a long weekend with him? She already ached for him again remembering their afternoon, which had started with a hard, lusty fuck and ended with making love, slow and easy.
“Thanks for going with me to Sam’s.” He soothed the chill from her arm as they walked along the foamy shoreline.
After meeting his friends and brothers, she dared to dream of becoming more involved with him. “I’ve enjoyed glimpsing into your life. Just wish it could have been during happier times.”
“It means a lot to me that you came, Peri.” His raspy voice suggested he was digging to keep emotion in check. He stopped and faced her. “I know you hated leaving Haley and the Trident. I don’t know what’s around the corner for me.”
“I knew that going in, Jax.”
His tone lightened. “Who knows, I might wind up on your coast.”
Peri smiled and willed her heart to maintain an even rhythm. She stroked his cheek, meeting light stubble. “Is that something you’d want?”
In the near darkness, his pearly grin reminded her of the first night they’d met and she’d broken through his tough exterior.
“I can work from either coast, but you, Angel, are only on one of them.” He drew her tight.
She went slack against his chest. Inside, she was a giddy as a teen after a first kiss.
* * * *
The next morning, Jax slid from the sheets without a sound and made his way to the kitchen. He dialed the number he had for TJ at Little Creek and slid open the door to the balcony. His friend didn’t answer, but the call rang back to the main line.
After identifying himself, he asked to speak to Commander Balton and stepped outside. Predawn light filtered over the ocean in hues of pink and purple as the sun rose over the land behind him. If he were on the other side of the country, he’d be treated to sunrises over the ocean.
“CPO Taylor,” the officer greeted him. “How’s life as a trainer?”
So he’d been keeping tabs on him. Jax liked the sound of that. He briefly explained his current situation. “Training is something I might enjoy when my knees or some other body part gives it up. Are you’re still looking for a sniper?”
“Unfortunately…”
Jax’s stomach sank. He envied the early morning surfers, seeming carefree during their rides.
“We had to fill the position quickly. Sorry.”
Damn. It meant the team was already on a mission. “Understood.”
“Now that I know you’re definitely interested, would you accept taking on another specialty?”
“Of course, sir.”
“I’ll call you.”
“Thank you, Commander.” After the call, Jax hung his head and stared at the phone like it would change things. He slid the glass door shut and headed for the kitchen. As he put on the coffee, he considered the slight difference in his and Peri’s age. It didn’t bother him she was older. The fact she’d already raised a child complicated matters. Eventually, he wanted children, but would Peri want another child? Did he love her enough to forego having kids?
Hell, neither of them had mentioned the “L” word yet. He would have chalked their wanton behavior to lust if he hadn't come to terms with how he didn’t want to be with another woman. Besides his frisky neighbor, he’d had ample opportunities to hook up on numerous occasions.
Images of the dream he’d had about being stuck at the top of Corolla Lighthouse while Peri floated away in a boat returned to him. He’d always believed in making his own fate, until now. Maybe this was a sign they shouldn’t be together. He’d probably only hurt her like his mother did his father.
Or come home in a box.
He should have kept his mouth shut about a possibility of transferring until it was a done deal. Her eyes had sparkled in the darkness. He’d let her down again.
After pouring a cup of coffee, he trudged to the living room and slouched on the sofa. The Pacific outside his window, where he’d swum countless miles, never really felt like home. The Atlantic might be warmer in summer, but it was even colder mistress in winter. The Gulf was his favorite, since he'd basically grown up there.
He’d like to go back one day and visit his uncle who still shrimped. Would he feel close to his dad like his Uncle Mike said when he was casting the nets? Sam’s death certainly had him contemplating life and his future.
After a long draw on his coffee, he scrubbed his face in frustration.
“You’re doing some pretty heavy thinking for this early in the morning.” Looking fine in one of his T-shirts, Peri slid next to him. Her sun-kissed curls haloed around her head and shoulders.
She looked well laid, a fulfillment he cockily claimed after their multi-session morning romp. Even now, his body reacted to her soft, feminine curves tucked next to him. “So how long can you stay?”
“For a few days. Haley is happier at her dad’s these days, and Phil said he’d take care of things at the bar.” She rubbed his bare knee.
He pulled her onto his lap and dotted her neck with light kisses. “How about until they decide what to do with me?” It’d probably be his last time with her unless his fate changed.
“A little longer than I’d planned.” She tugged at the hem of her shirt. “Besides, I don’t have enough clothes.”
“You don’t need any clothes, Angel.”
She squirmed under his tickling fingers. “What about your roommate?”
“I’ve already made sure he’ll be scarce while you’re here.” He nibbled her ear.
“Seriously.” She caught his hands with a strong grip.
He set her on the coffee table facing him. “Yeah, you’re right. I have to be honest. I love being with you, but my future is sketchy at best and you need security I can’t offer right now.”
Until now, he’d left their relationship open as a possibility. He’d seemed happy to see her at the funeral. Appreciative she’d come. She held no expectations, but something had changed.
“I didn’t have security before, but I understand where you are right now. Plus, I’m sure you probably want to be a dad at some point." She tugged his shirt down to cover her knees.
He shrugged. “At some point.”
“I’m past prime on that, sailor.” She gave him the out freely.
A shadow crossed his face. “As far as I’m concerned, you’re in your prime, but I understand you’ve already raised a child.”
“For the right man, I might do another round.” She’d seriously consider having his baby. The thought excited her, made her feel sexy and feminine. However, the recollection of sleepless nights and countless diaper changes brought her back to reality.
His faced brightened with a widening gaze. A light smile played at his lips. “I’d like to apply, but there’s a problem of about three thousand miles.”
By the tone of his voice, he didn’t expect things to change. Last night, he’d seemed optimistic, but in today’s harsh morning light, his view had changed.
Taking his hands in hers, she said, “I have no expectations, Jax. Nor should you feel obligated.” A few more nights of fantastic sex to carry her into old age. Sad. But after having an exceptional lover, the mediocre wouldn’t do.
“At least, let me show you some of San Diego.” He leaned forward and tucked her hair behind her ear.
“I’ve always wanted to see the zoo.”
* * * *
Jax would have never considered taking a woman to the zoo before today. He’d always been a fuck-n-go guy, out before breakfast the following morning. They wandered past the open habitats and stopped where two jaguars splashed in the pool, chasing the stocked fish.
“Who’s your favorite?” Peri laughed at their play.
“They used to have a black jag who played tug of war with the keepers. I remember him from my visit to California as a child. I wanted to be as lethal as the cat and swim as well as the dolphins.”
“I think you did both.” She squeezed his arm. “My parents never took a vacation. Heck, I’d never flown until…”
Her hesitation made him curious, especially the way she chewed her nail. “You got married?”
Her attention returned to the jaguars now chasing one another. “I dated a Navy pilot briefly before marrying Sean.”
He’d been schooled in judging people’s body language and voice intonation, but even without training, it was clear she hid something. “Was he transferred?”
“No.” She swallowed hard. “Just didn’t work out. Can we see the polar bears?” She clasped his bicep.
“Sure.” During their walk, he learned more about her family. While he’d had a great relationship with his father, she hadn’t. After she married Sean, her parents moved to Florida and were now traveling the country. She seemed dejected they never took an interest in Haley.
Her face brightened at the bears’ underwater antics. He loved seeing her laugh and smile. It physically warmed him. He lived for his job, but she made him want more. After the bears received their lunch of fish, Jax’s stomached growled. “How about we get some food before everyone hears how hungry I am?”
After ordering, she found a table shaded by trees while he waited for their food.
He returned with burgers and fries and sat next to her. “What?”
“Just admiring you coming and going.” She grinned while divvying up the food. “Tell me about growing up on the Texas coast.”
“First, let me thank you for straying so far from your home.” He pecked her kiss-swollen mouth. A reminder of their extreme fun last night and this morning. God help him, he wanted more. “Not much to tell. My father and his brother were shrimpers. I spent summers and weekends during the fall on the boat with them. He kept my mother in designer clothes, though she never wanted to be seen out anywhere with him. He drowned while she was legs up in a hotel with her lover. I was in BUD/S school.”
Peri’s French fry slipped from her grasp. “Oh.”
He shrugged. Probably too much information. “She took the insurance money. Sold my father’s share of the business to his brother and moved to Houston. Three months later, she married the suit she’d been cheating on my father with. Now he’s probably fucking some other woman on his desk while she’s busy spending his money and keeping a major vodka retailer in business.”
The sudden correlation between his parent’s history and his lack of relationships hit him in his solar plexus like a bullet. Talk about not seeing the forest for the trees. He’d never trusted any woman until now. Why did it have to be the one he couldn’t have or, rather, couldn’t make work because of fucking geography?
Damn, and she had stayed true to him even when there were no ties.
Concern etched her face as lines between her brows.
“Sorry, I guess I could have fed you all of that in bite-size pieces.”
“Sometimes a tragedy brings to light what we previously failed or didn’t want to see.”
“A clinical diagnosis, Angel?” His tone mocked before he bit a hunk out of his burger. He hated people shrinking him.
“I know SEALs are deemed nearly infallible and bulletproof, but you’ve had a lot to deal with recently.” She rubbed her hand along his forearm.
Her comment agitated him more than the hole in his leg and the dance of military red tape. His injury and loss of a brother was nothing compared to what other wounded warriors dealt with. She should have left him outside of her bar that night, then he wouldn’t care where he ended up doing his job.
Damn her for making him realize what he’d been missing with a woman. He frowned and set the burger down. “I’ve had it easy compared to most of my brothers, Peri, especially the one in the box. The only easy day was yesterday.”
* * * *
His stare turned lethal. His mouth drew to a straight line as a muscle worked in his jaw.