Sapphire Universe (33 page)

“I love it Connor, it’s the most perfect ring ever.” 

“Good.  I’m glad we agree because I kind of saved you the trouble of getting me one.  He holds his left hand up and I notice that on his finger is a thick silver band and on the top is a rectangular emerald embedded in the metal.  “I saw it and knew that I had to have it.  I don’t want to wait until the wedding to wear it.  I feel like I’m just as engaged to you as you are to me
, so I should wear one too.  I want everyone to know I’m taken.  That I’m yours, just as much as you are mine and Princess, you are mine.  Married or not I’m not letting you go.”

I sigh at his romantic speech.  I love how unconventional he is.  He always proves to me just when I need him to that he is the exception.  There is no other man like him on this planet and he will never leave me.  “Good because I’m not going anywhere.”

“Damn straight you’re not.  Especially now that I finally have you where I’ve wanted you from the moment I met you on this bus.”  He pulls on the hem of my tank top and lifts it up above my bare breasts and takes one into his mouth.  It’s so sudden that I flinch.

“Help me out here baby.”  He says referring to my clothing being in his way.  I strip the tank off the rest of the way and go to work on his shirt. 

“God you’re so sexy.  I never stood a chance.”  I say and start to trace the muscles in his chest and stomach with my tongue. 

Connor’s
hands have trailed down my spine to the back of my pants.  He sticks his hand under the waistband of my yoga pants and peels them and my underwear down my thighs.  Once he bares me from the waist down I unbutton his pants and take him into my hand and stroke him.  He moans and lifts me up to straddle him again and kisses me.  I position him at my entrance and start to slowly slide down gasping at the feeling of him stretching me.  When he’s seated as deeply as he can go, he reaches up and cups my face with both hands. 

“This.  This is what I wanted the first day I saw you on this bus.  To be as deep inside you as I could get while looking into your emerald eyes.”  He returns to my lips and puts hi
s hands on my hips to guide me.  I rock my hips as I rise and fall and he bites my lip then sooths the sting with his tongue.  I start to feel the familiar tightening and as it builds I lose my rhythm.  Connor takes my hips in his hands and starts to thrusts up into me.  The pleasure hits me instantly sending liquid warmth through my body and I shout his name.  “Fuck!”  Connor yells and stills as he spills into me. 

I lay my head on his shoulder when the piece of me that shot through the roof joins my body once more and start giggling.  “What’s so funny?  You really shouldn’t laugh at a guy after sex Princess.  We men have fragile egos.”  Connor mumbles into my hair.  I laugh at that and lift my head.

“Only you would rent a bus so that you could act out a freaky fantasy.  That and you just had bus sex with your pants on.”  I say and look down at where we are connected once again half clothed. 

“Don’t knock it babe.  That was some awesome bus sex.” 

That day we got a phone call from detective Wheeler.  It was all over.  Lucas eventually spilled the beans and gave up both Max and Jennifer.  Jennifer is the name of the girl who tried to lure Connor out of the bar and is a model who owes Max a lot of money he fronted her to get her career up and running.  Max was hiding out in New York surprisingly.  Apparently, he was so sure that Connor would retract his statement and everything would blow over that he didn’t even think about fleeing to another state. 

Lucas confessed that Max had killed the man Connor saw go into his office that day.  Lucas wasn’t there but Max had told him as much when he instructed him to go find out if Connor was in Wyoming with his father.  Max was currently in custody but wouldn’t speak without his lawyer.  Wheeler is sure he’s going to plead not guilty
, because he thinks his expensive lawyer will get him out of it, but with Connor’s and Lucas’ statement and all the other evidence they had gathered he was going to go to prison for a long time.

We called Connor’s father first to tell him all of the good news and I swear he was crying.  He would never admit to it though.  “I told you she was a good one didn’t I?  Not afraid of a damn thing just like your mother.  You guys better have a gir
,l because we want to keep that trait in the family.”  He says to Connor.  I ask him if he would be willing to give me away at the wedding and his voice is slightly shaky when he says that he would be honored.  “I just wish Trish was here to see you walk down the aisle.  She would have loved you.”  His statement reminds me of my mother and the fact that she won’t be there to see me walk down the aisle and I’ll never get to dance with my father.  I look over at Connor when we hang up the phone with his father and grab his hand. 

“I need you to go somewhere with me.”  Connor frowns at my tone and tightens his fingers around mine. 

“When?”  Is the only thing he asks and it makes me smile.

“Now.”  I say simply and he leads me over to the coat closet.  I shrug on my coat and we walk silently to the car. 

“Where are we going Princess?”  He asks when he get to the end of the driveway.  I look out the window and take a deep fortifying breath.

“To go see my parents.”  He looks over at me and his eyes are shining when he reaches for my hand.  “Turn right.”  Connor doesn’t speak as we drive.  I know he’s giving me some peace and quiet on purpose.  I went to the funeral when they died, but I haven’t been back to see them since.  I know that it makes me a horrible daughter but it just hurt too much.  Keeping the pain inside always felt safer.  I didn’t want it to seep out into my life and ruin the carefully built control I had put in place to protect me.  Today is different.  I don’t need to keep everything inside any longer.  With Connor here I can face them.  I don’t know what kind of reaction I will have, or whether I w
ill break down or not, but what I do know is that either way it will be okay.  I can fall apart and Connor will help me pick up the pieces or I can stand strong and he will stand beside me. 

When we get to the cemetery I lead Connor by the hand to the grave stones marked with Cameron and Brook Ryan’s names.  I lay the flowers I bought in between them and kneel down in the grass.  I take one last deep breath and speak to my parents for the first time since I was sixteen.

“Hi Momma.  Hi Daddy.  I’m sorry I haven’t come to visit you in a while.”  My voice sounds firm and I know it’s because of Connor that I’m able to be so strong.  “I didn’t take you two leaving me very well, I just loved you so much.  I want you to know that I forgive you.  Both of you.  I know that you didn’t want to leave me and that you loved me.”  I trace my mother’s name in the stone as I say that last part knowing it’s what she would want to hear the most.  “I’m getting married soon.  Three months.  We’re having a baby Daddy!  I wish she could have known you.”  I say and run my hand across the grass that covers the place where they lie in the ground.  I feel as if I can feel their love for me come from the earth and a single tear rolls down my cheek at finally laying all the uncertainty to rest.  “I hope you’re happy wherever you are. I’ll come see you again soon.  I love you.”  I stand up and look down at their graves and the tear falls to the ground in between them.  My heart feels whole but lighter than air and although I will miss them for the rest of my life, I know that they have never really left me.  Connor walks up behind me and whispers in my ear.

“I’m proud of you Princess
and I know they are too.  Let’s go home.”  I walk away from my parents hand in hand with my entire Universe and for the first time in ten years I welcome whatever life has to throw at me.  I’m ready for all of it and this time I’m not alone.

I stop by Lo’s house the next day.  I know she is going to freak out that I didn’t tell her right away but I want to see the look on her face.  I knock on the door and try to keep calm when all I want to do is jump up and down and scream.  She opens the door wearing sweats and a large t shirt her eyes are red and swollen. 

“Lo!  What’s wrong?  I step into her apartment and she closes the door behind me.

“What are you talking about?”  She tries to play dumb.  Really, she should know better.

“Lola, don’t even try to pretend like your fine.  Tell me what happened.  Is everything okay with Drake?”  I say taking a guess and by the look on her face when I say his name it’s a good one.  Lo starts crying again and my heart breaks.  I have seen Lo cry a total of three times in our entire friendship and it was never over a boy.  Two of them were for me and the third was for her brother.

Her face crumples but she relents.  “He said that we can’t be together anymore.  No explanation, nothing!  It was after we had…you know.  We were lying together in bed and he just looked at me with this frown on his face.  Then he got out of bed without saying anything and left.  This morning he slipped this stupid note into my mailbox telling me how he couldn’t be with me.”  She said her voice taking on a mixture of anger and despair.

“I thought you said that you weren’t together.  That it was just a physical thing.” 

“It was
, that’s why I’m so confused.  I never pushed him for anything more than what he gave me and I never asked him to commit to me.”

“Then why are you crying Lo.  You never cry.  If you didn’t want to be with him then why are you so upset?”  I ask although I know better
, I just want her to admit it.  She sits down on the couch and grabs a tissue from the coffee table.

“Because I’m an idiot
, that’s why.  I didn’t know until he stopped talking to me.  I miss him Nins.  God help me I think I’m in love with him.”  She closes her eyes and more tears start to roll down her face.  I scoot closer to her and try to wipe them from her cheeks and that’s when she sees my ring.

“You fucking bitch.”  She grabs my hand and holds it up to her face.  “Couldn’t call and tell your best friend you’re engaged?”

“I wanted to tell you in person.  It was so perfect Lo you should have seen it!  He had a trail of mugs filled with cider leading to a bus like the one we met on in our front yard.”  I say beaming at her. 

Lo smiles at me and it changes her entire face.  That’s how I know she really cares about me.  She could be having the worst day of her life but still be truly happy for me.  “Sapphire huh?  Well it’s absolutely gorgeous.  I’m so happy for you Nina really I am.  God, I can’t believe you came here to tell me you’re getting engaged and I start giving you a sob story about my screwed up nonexistent love life.  It's no wonder Drake can’t be with me.  I’m a basket case!” 

I shake my head at her and grab her hand. “Drake has feelings for you Lo I could see it when he looked at you.  Sometimes there are things that hold us back that go so deep you don’t know how to get past it.  Trust me I know better than anyone.”

Lo smiles weakly at me.  “I’m not so sure Nins and I have no idea how to fix what I don’t understand.  Just the thought of not seeing him ever again makes me sick to my stomach.”

“Don’t worry.  It will work itself out.  I doubt he will able to stay away from you for long.  He’s probably just as eaten up about it as you are.”

“I hope your right Nins.”

“That reminds me.”  I scoot a little bit closer to her and look her dead in the eye. “I told you so bitch! BOOM!  That just happened.”  That gets her laughing and I laugh along with her.  “Oh and by the way you have some work to do.  I’m going to have a wedding in three months and the maid of honor is always the one that gets stuck with all the work.”  Lo jumps off the couch and starts squealing then immediately gets out her notebook and starts writing down lists.

I love that I made her happy but I wish I could do more to help her.  I think about Nick and Toni and Lo and Drake and it makes me so grateful that Connor and I have made it past the hard times and made it out together.  I send a pleading message out into the Universe to work its magic on all my friends so that they may also find the happiness I was blessed with. 

When I get home I see that Connor is cleaning out the extra room in the house.  “Hey baby what are you doing?”  I call out to him and make my way around all the bags and boxes filled with random things.  I get into the room and see that inside is just a small daybed and Connor is covering it with a plastic tarp. 

“Hey Princess.  I thought this room would be the best for the baby, since it’s close to our room and the second biggest.  We have room for a crib and a rocking chair and we can leave the daybed in here for when he or she gets too big for a crib and then when they get older they can share a room until we can get another one built.”