Sarasota Dreams (12 page)

“You can talk to me about anything, Mary. I want you to trust me.”

“Oh I do trust you, Abe.” She swallowed deeply and looked down at the sidewalk before meeting his gaze. “Much more than I do most people. It’s hard for me, you know.”

“Yes,” he said as he reached out and brushed a lock of hair that had escaped her kapp with his free hand. “I do know.”

A pinching sensation in her chest and the urge to let Abe know how she felt about him battled with the warning bells going off in her head. Telling him her feelings would leave her vulnerable and exposed. Did she dare do that? She wanted to very badly, but in spite of Abe admitting he was romantically interested in her, the fear of being hurt was still lodged in her heart.

“Mary?” he asked, bending over and tilting her face up to meet his gaze once again. “Talk to me, okay?”

She pulled her lips between her teeth and nodded. Her heart felt as though it would jump out of her mouth if she didn’t say something. If ever there was a time to release that fear, this was it. Finally, she sucked in a deep breath, squared her shoulders, looked Abe in the eye, and blurted, “Kiss me, Abe.”

A
be blinked, and the ice-cream cone toppled from his hand and fell to the ground. Did Mary just tell him to kiss her? Neh, couldn’t have. Not Mary with the standoffish sarcasm and strong-arm defense. She held her ice-cream cone up with one hand, jammed her other fist on her hips, and leaned forward, lips puckered, eyes narrowed. He had to bite the insides of his cheeks to keep from laughing.

When he didn’t do anything, she folded her arms and pouted. “Oh, so you don’t wanna kiss me now, huh?”

“Oh I didn’t say that. You just caught me by surprise.”

“Okay, so do you want to kiss me or not?”

Abe pondered the thought, then slowly nodded. “Yes, I’d love to kiss you, Mary, but not here.”

“What’s wrong with here?”

“This isn’t exactly the best place for us to have our first kiss.”

Mary lifted her free hand in surrender. “So you get to pick where we kiss?”

Abe gave himself some time to gather his thoughts before speaking. “Mary, when I kiss you, I want you to understand it’s because I have feelings for you. It’s not something I take lightly.”

“Who said anything about taking it lightly?” She frowned as she took a lick of her ice cream. She shook her head. “Don’t tell me you agree with that mean Jeremiah.”

“No, this has nothing to do with Jeremiah. What it has everything to do with is letting you know that a kiss means … well, it means …” He glanced down then back up at her, slowly shaking his head.

Mary lifted an eyebrow in amusement and tapped her foot. “Go on, Abe. I want to know what it means.”

“Let’s just say it’s very special to me. A kiss is not like a handshake or even a hug. It means we’re more than just friends.”

“I’m okay with that.” She held his gaze as though challenging him. “I thought that’s what you wanted.”

That was exactly what he wanted, but the timing was off. Kissing on command seemed forced and cold. But he didn’t want to risk hurting or embarrassing Mary—not after her attempt to be more open and trust him.

“Let’s take a little walk, okay?” He extended his elbow, hoping for the best, and to his delight, she took it.

“Sorry about your ice-cream cone,” Mary said.

Abe laughed. “I should have held on to it better.”

“Want a lick?” she asked, offering her ice-cream cone.

Abe laughed. “No thanks. I’m not about to take your ice cream.”

“That’s okay, I don’t mind. I sort of lost my appetite.”

“You don’t have to finish it.”

They walked in silence for another block then turned up a side street behind some of the small shops at the edge of Pinecraft. Abe pointed to a lonely tree holding court over a tiny patch of grass in the center of a circle of palmettos. “Let’s get some shade.”

Mary pivoted and headed straight for the tree without a single word. Abe was right behind her. They passed a trash receptacle, and she tossed her dripping ice-cream cone. “I can’t eat any more.”

Abe leaned against the tree and extended his arms. “Come here, Mary,” he said softly.

She took a step toward him then stopped. “Oh, so now you want to kiss me?”

He closed his eyes, retracted his outstretched arms, and silently chuckled. When he opened his eyes again, she was so close, all he had to do was open his arms and she was in them. “May I kiss you now, Mary Penner?”

She turned her face up to his with her lips puckered and her eyes closed. This time he leaned down and touched her lips with his for a couple of seconds. When he pulled away, she slowly opened her eyes and smiled up at him.

“So that’s what a kiss feels like,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. A quick flash of her mother being kissed and groped darted through her mind. A few times men had attempted to touch her, but her quick reflexes and whatever lies she could make up saved her. Mary shuddered as she forced herself to stay in the moment. Abe was nothing like those men, and she knew this was different.

Abe couldn’t help but laugh. “Disappointed?”

“Nope. I liked it. Let’s do it again.” She puckered her lips and closed her eyes.

He dropped a brief kiss on her lips then the tip of her nose. “I think I better get you back before this gets out of control.”

“Well,” she began slowly as she looked at him coyly. “I have plenty of self-control. It’s you I’m worried about.”

He chuckled. “I’ll be fine.”

“Good. Now that we’ve got that settled, when are we going out again?”

“Now look at you. When I first wanted to get to know you better, you acted like I was the enemy, and now you want to rush things. Why don’t we take things nice and slow?”

She shrugged. “What’s the point? You like me, and I’m pretty sure I like you.”

“You don’t mince words, do you, Mary?”

“Why would I do that?”

Her abrupt turnaround both delighted and startled Abe. Something had happened since the last time he’d seen her. “You’re acting different now.”

“Maybe I am different.”

Abe shook his head. “People don’t change that quickly. What’s going on, Mary?”

“Don’t be so skeptical. Nothing’s going on, except I’ve had time to think about us.”

“Oh yeah?” He glanced down at her as they walked side by side on the narrow sidewalk. “What were your thoughts?”

“To start with, I know that you’re a very nice man, and you seem honest.”

“Ya, I like to be nice to people, and honesty comes natural. But plenty of people are nice and honest.”

“Oh but not like you, Abe.”

He knew some people were puzzled by Mary, and even after all this time, some of them may still have held her past against her. But he hadn’t seen anyone being intentionally mean except Jeremiah—even Mrs. Troyer, whose mind seemed to be elsewhere.

“Has anyone said or done anything to hurt you?” he asked. “Besides Jeremiah, that is.”

“Not really. I’ve gotten used to being ignored. But you’ve never ignored me. You’ve always acted like I was any other Mennonite girl.”

“Trust me,” he said with a chuckle. “You’re not like any other Mennonite girl.”

She gave him a look of pretend hurt then grinned. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Good. You should.” They continued another half block toward her grandparents’ house. “It’s still not enough to explain why you’re suddenly demanding kisses. Why did you ask me for a kiss today?”

Mary contorted her mouth and pondered the thought. Finally she shrugged. “Why not?”

“There you go again, answering my question with a question.”

She shrugged. “I wanted a kiss, so I asked for it.”

He studied her. “Okay.”

“Besides, I like the way I feel when I’m with you.”

Now they were getting somewhere. “How do you feel when you’re with me?”

“I … well …” She pursed her lips and sighed. “I think I’ve already told you too much. Since you want to take things more slowly, I think I’ll keep some things to myself.”

Abe grinned. “You are such a mystery, Mary Penner.”

“Is that a problem?”

“Neh, I think I like it.”

“Good. Then my hunch worked out.” They’d gotten to the block where her grandparents lived, so she stopped and turned to face him. “Thank you for the ice cream and kiss.”

He tilted his head toward her. “And thank you for spending some time with me … and the kiss. I’ll see you soon.”

Mary was pretty sure Abe couldn’t see her hands shaking. It had been difficult to hide her nerves, but it was better he didn’t know how he affected her. Ever since their lips touched, she felt as though the earth had tilted just enough to throw her off balance.

“Mary, is that you?” Grandma called from the kitchen. Before Mary had a chance to answer, she added, “Come on back and tell me about your ice cream date with Abe.”

“I’ll be right there, Grandma. I have to put my stuff away first.”

As Mary deposited her tote on her bed, she took several deep breaths to get a grip on her nerves and gather some thoughts on what to say about her time with Abe. Maybe Grandma wouldn’t ask too many questions.

That hope was quickly shattered when Mary joined her grandmother in the kitchen. “How was your date with Abe?” Before Mary had a chance to say a word, Grandma added, “You’re back awful early. Did something happen?”

Mary reached for the flour canister and moved it to a different spot on the counter so she could help with dinner. “No, nothing happened.”

“I thought you’d be home before dinner, but not this early.” Grandma pointed to the other canister. “Hand me the sugar, please.”

“We got ice cream and went for a walk. That doesn’t take very long.”

Grandma paused and looked directly at Mary. “You and I need to have a talk. There are obviously some things you don’t understand about courting.”

Mary’s cheeks flamed. “I think I know enough.”

“Dating someone you’re thinking about spending the rest of your life with involves more than getting ice cream and going for a walk.”

“Who said anything about spending the rest of my life with him?”

Grandma shook her head. “Are you saying you’re not interested in marrying Abe?”

Mary let out a nervous laugh. “That’s not what I’m saying. Things like that take time. Besides, I’m not sure I ever want to get married.”

Grandma placed one fist on her hip and shook her other finger at Mary. “Don’t ever say that again. If the Lord puts the right man in front of you, who are you to say you don’t want to get married?”

Mary knew better than to argue with Grandma about the Lord’s will. It would be a losing battle since Grandma knew the Bible front to back. Mary had studied tenaciously since she’d been in Sarasota, but she knew she didn’t know scripture like Grandma did.

“I’m not saying you should marry Abe, but don’t rule it out. It’s not like every Mennonite boy in Sarasota is beating our door down for you.” Grandma turned back to the cobbler she’d been working on, leaving Mary to ponder her words.

They sifted, stirred, and rolled dough in silence as Mary’s mind wandered from the kiss and Abe’s intentions to her motives. Grandma was right. The only man who’d shown any romantic interest in Mary was Abe. If she had her choice, would he be the one she’d pick? Without having the experience, how would she know?

“Mary?” Grandma’s voice was soft and tender. “I didn’t mean to say you should marry Abe because you can’t do better. It’s just that your grandpa and I are concerned about you, and Abe is such a nice boy. He’s a hard worker, and he has land that would be ideal for a large family.”

Grandma and Grandpa had always wanted a dozen children, but Mary knew that for some reason they hadn’t been able to have more than one child. Mary couldn’t imagine having a houseful of kids underfoot. All the babies and toddlers she’d seen required so much selfless work. And her mother’s voice rang through her head.
If I didn’t have you to worry about, my life would be so different
.

“I’m not so sure that’s what I want,” Mary said. “A big family is a lot of work.”

“Anything worth having is a lot of work,” Grandma replied. “Including Abe.”

Mary wanted to end the conversation, so she racked her brain for a new topic. She was about to mention the seasonal crowd at the restaurant when she heard the front door. “Grandpa’s home. Eleanor was off today, so he must have left Shelley in charge of closing.”

“Hello, ladies,” Grandpa bellowed as he entered the kitchen. “Beautiful, sunshiny day.”

“Ya.” Grandma paused with her hands hovering slightly above the finished cobbler. “Mary got home early from her date with Abe.”

Grandpa looked at Mary and winked. “I’m sure she has her reasons.”

“Said it didn’t take long to eat ice cream.”

Mary wished they didn’t talk about her as though she weren’t there. She wanted to run from the kitchen, but that would make the situation more uncomfortable when she came back.

“She’s right,” Grandpa said, surprising Mary. “Besides, I think it’s a good idea for them to take it easy. We don’t want Abe getting the wrong idea, thinking Mary is too eager to find a husband.”

“I’m not even looking for a husband,” Mary blurted.