Sarasota Dreams (24 page)

“What’s to say you won’t change your mind again?”

Jeremiah challenged her with a firm gaze in the mirror. “What’s to say you won’t do what I did?”

“Well,” she began as she reached for the door handle. “I don’t have the history you have. Even before you left, you were somewhat of a rebel.”

“Yeah, I’ll give you that.”

“People don’t change.” She opened the door, but she didn’t get out yet.

“Not unless the Lord chooses to change them,” Jeremiah countered. “What can I do to prove to you that my heart is right with the Lord?”

“I’m not the one you have to prove anything to.”

“I know that, but I want you to see that I’ve returned to my faith. And I want you to believe it as well.” He glanced up and spotted her mother peeking around from behind the drapes. “Someone’s watching us.”

She pushed the car door all the way open and started to get out before turning back to face Jeremiah. “I’m happy you came back to the church, Jeremiah, but only for you. It has nothing to do with me.”

“You’re right. It’s all about the Lord’s direction. He’s in charge of my life now, and I want to serve Him well.”

Shelley finally cracked a smile. “I hope that’s truly the way it is. We’ll see how things go when you start to get restless again. But now I better go inside. I’m sure my mother has plenty to say about me sitting here with you.”

“I’ll see you soon, Shelley.”

She got out and slammed the car door shut. Jeremiah sat and waited until she was safely inside her house.

As Shelley walked inside, she was surprised her mother wasn’t standing by the door waiting for her with a long lecture, but instead she was met by silence, which brought confusion and worry. Her mother seemed more fragile recently, so she tried very hard—most of the time—not to upset her.

She sighed and went into the kitchen to start supper. As tired as she was after working such a busy shift, walking with her mother, and talking to Jeremiah, she knew that her father and William would be hungry when they got home. William liked to set the table, but her father expected to sit right down to a big meal after a long day working at the hardware store.

She’d just placed the pork chops into the oven when she saw a shadow by the door. She turned around and offered her mother a guarded smile.

“What did you and Jeremiah talk about?”

Shelley shrugged. “Not much. He just wanted to remind me that he’s changed.”

“Just remember, Shelley, the temptations of evil are powerful.” It took everything Shelley had not to roll her eyes. “Nothing evil happened. Jeremiah was actually very sweet to stop and pick us up.”

“That’s how it starts.”

Shelley let out a deep sigh. Even after Jeremiah had saved her mother from having to walk back home with aching feet, she still hadn’t softened. “Look, Mother, I’m not going to do anything I shouldn’t do. Jeremiah says he’s committed his life to the Lord, and from my perspective, it appears that he has.” Even though Shelley rarely outwardly rebelled, she wasn’t about to openly admit her own doubts about Jeremiah.

Silence fell between them for a moment. Shelley felt as though the conversation didn’t stand a chance of having any resolution, so she thought it best to end the discussion. Her mother apparently thought otherwise.

“So you’re saying that you don’t have any doubts about Jeremiah’s motives on coming around again?”

“No, I’m not saying that.” Deep down, Shelley feared that what her mother was saying was true, and she would have been on her mother’s side if she’d been talking to Jeremiah. But when he looked at her as he had a half hour ago, she wanted to believe him, even though she wouldn’t let him know. “I just think we need to give him the benefit of proving himself.”

“Shelley, you can be so naive.”

“He helped Abe when that awful man came to hurt Mary,” Shelley reminded her mother.

“Don’t base your opinion of him on a few good deeds. He was away from the church for a number of years, and it’ll take much more than that to show he’s changed for the good.”

Shelley didn’t have an argument for that, so she finally backed away. “We need to finish preparing supper so Father and William have something to eat when they come home.”

The cloud of their conversation hung over them as they finished cooking. By the time William walked through the door, Shelley was exhausted more from what wasn’t being said than from what was.

“Can you take me to the park before supper?” William asked.

“Not now,” Shelley replied. “I’m busy.”

William’s face scrunched into a pout. He opened his mouth to say something, but Shelley noticed their mother giving him a look that stopped him.

Shelley wished Mother would give William a little more room to explore on his own. After all, he was seventeen. But unless he was at school, work, or in the van that took him to work, Mother insisted someone from the family be with him.

Jeremiah appreciated the physical labor of farmwork. It enabled him to reflect on not only his conversation with Shelley two days ago but also conversations he’d had with some of the church elders over the past several months since he’d come back to his Mennonite roots. He was constantly being questioned about his motives and why he’d chosen this time to come back to the church. The reasons didn’t seem clear, although he had no doubt that the Lord sometimes painfully taught him lessons that steered him back. He explained that to Abe, who seemed to understand, but his answers didn’t satisfy everyone.

The people who never questioned him were Jonathan and his son, Charles, a couple of outsiders Abe hired to help out on the farm. Jeremiah enjoyed working with them.

“Watch out, Jeremiah,” Jonathan said with a teasing tone. “A man who thinks too much can get hurt.”

Jeremiah chuckled. “You’re right. I’ve been thinking too much lately.”

“Care to talk about it?” Jonathan raked his fingers through his half-gray, half-brown hair. “Not saying I have all the answers, but sometimes it helps to talk.”

“If I had any idea what to talk about, I’d probably welcome the opportunity, but my thoughts are so jumbled they don’t even make sense to me.”

Jonathan nodded his understanding. “I know exactly what you’re saying. This world is confusing, which is why I brought my son here to learn what’s really important.”

Jeremiah glanced over at Jonathan’s son, Charles, who was busy hauling lumber from the old barn to the scrap pile. “Charles seems to be in his element here on the farm.”

“He and I are both much happier than we’ve ever been. No high-powered executive job has ever left me with the sense of accomplishment that I get from working here.”

“I know what you mean.”

“Yes,” Jonathan said with a nod. “I know you do. And one of these days, others will see that in you. Some people just need to get burned a few times before we come to our senses.”

“That’s a good way of putting it. I needed to get burned before I understood what I had. And now I want that back. The Lord’s favor is all that matters to me right now.”

“It’s okay to want the girl, too,” Jonathan said.

Jeremiah grinned. “Am I that obvious?”

“Yes, you definitely are. Any chance you’ll be letting go of the car?”

“Abe and I have been talking about it. I already traded in my sports car for the plain one, but it’s hard to give up transportation.”

“I know what you mean. Charles and I have been talking about that. He seems more amenable to it than I am, but if I ever decide to embrace the lifestyle, it seems the right thing to do. My wife isn’t ready yet, but she seems happier already now that we’ve decided to try and sell the house.”

The clanging sound of the triangle signaling lunchtime got their attention. “I’m starving,” Jeremiah said as he patted his belly. “Another cool thing about working here is being able to eat anything I want and not having to worry about an expanding waistline. It seemed like no matter how much time I spent at the gym before, I always had to loosen my belt a notch or two after a big meal.”

After they finished the bag lunches they’d brought from home, Abe approached Jeremiah. “Do you mind taking me to town? I have to deliver some produce to Penner’s.”

“I’ll be glad to.”

“I thought you might.” Abe turned to Jonathan. “Tell your wife we enjoyed her pineapple upside-down cake. Mary would like the recipe.”

“Lori will be flattered,” Jonathan said. “I’ll have her jot down the recipe.” Abe gave a clipped nod. “Good. Jeremiah, let me know when you’re ready to go.”

Jeremiah finished the last of his sandwich and rose from the picnic bench. “Time to take the boss to town.”

“I’ll save some of the work for you when you get back,” Jonathan said as he stood. “Drive carefully.”

As soon as Abe got into Jeremiah’s car, he started talking. “I heard you created quite a stir in town on Monday.”

Jeremiah frowned as he reflected. He didn’t know what Abe was talking about. “I did?”

“Ya. Shelley’s mother was very unhappy about you showing up.”

“Oh, that. Well, I didn’t mean to cause any trouble. It’s just that I saw Shelley and her mother walking, so I thought I’d offer them a ride.”

“Just remember that it takes a while to earn forgiveness from people who have been hurt. When you left, you upset some folks.”

“That wasn’t my intention.”

“It doesn’t have to be. It just happens that way sometimes.”

When Jeremiah had to stop for a light, he turned to Abe. “What can I do to make things better?”

“If you’re asking how you can hurry things along, I don’t have any answers. But if you want to make amends with individual people, you can talk to them and explain your reasons for coming back. They need to know you have no motive other than to please the Lord and do His calling.”

Jeremiah wished it were that simple, but he knew it wasn’t. He’d always cared for Shelley, but she’d always seemed leery of him even when they were younger. That’s why he’d been surprised when she’d gotten into his car on Monday.

“If you want to court Shelley, you need to make things right with her parents first.”

“I doubt they’ll bother talking to me,” Jeremiah said.

“Have you tried?”

“No.”

“Then do that first. You knew coming back wouldn’t be easy.”

“True.” Jeremiah accelerated as the light turned green. “Something I’ve been wondering, Abe.”

“What’s that?”

“You didn’t put me through the paces when I wanted to come back. Everyone else has one question after another, but you accepted what I said from the get-go. Why was that?”

Abe shrugged. “I s’pose I’ve always been a direct sort of man, and I’ve known you to be that way with me. There wasn’t any reason for me to doubt you—particularly after you swallowed your pride when I talked to you about your crudeness with Mary.”

Jeremiah cringed as he remembered his comments. “That was totally out of line. The second I hollered at you, I regretted it. I’m afraid I picked up some bad habits.”

“But you apologized, and you seemed sincere. Mary and I have both forgiven you.”

“Now I need to ask a lot of other people for their forgiveness.”

“Ya. That’s exactly what you have to do. Some people will accept your words, and others will wait and watch your actions.”

“That’s a lot of pressure.”

“Pressure is part of life,” Abe said. “After you establish yourself back in the church, there will be something else. Walking with the Lord isn’t easy for anyone.”

“How about you, Abe? Do you feel pressure about anything?”

“Ya, of course I do. But I don’t lose sleep over it. Mary and I pray about whatever is on our minds, and we go to sleep knowing we’re in the Lord’s good graces. As Christians, we are His faithful servants, even when we slip up. He has never let us down.”

That was exactly what Jeremiah needed to hear. He helped Abe unload the produce from the trunk, and then Joseph Penner asked them to stick around. Abe accepted, but Jeremiah asked if he could run an errand of his own. Abe smiled knowingly and nodded.

On the way to the Burkholders’ house, Jeremiah prayed for the Lord’s mercy and for the wisdom to say the right thing to Shelley’s mother. Pride had always been a problem for Jeremiah, but he knew the Lord was working on that.