Sasha (Mixed Drinks #1) (19 page)

“This deer is creepy. Its eyes are following me,” I say with a shiver running down my back.

“Um yeah, it’s dead, and the eyes aren’t real. I promise you they do not move.”

“Yeah well, we will see about that... Don’t be surprised if one day you hear screaming, and it’s me fighting with that thing,” I laugh while making my way to the kitchen.

Bash and I stay up just long enough to finish giving me a tour of the house, minus Emma’s room, and then we are off to bed. I want so badly for him to take my clothes off and take me here and now, in his bed. A bed that just seems to swallow me up and cuddle with us. It doesn’t take long for me to drift off to sleep, even with a naked Bash on my brain.

The next morning, I wake up to the smell of bacon and coffee with a side of syrup. I glance over at the clock and see it is 9:30.
Ugh
. I’m still so tired, but I shouldn’t be rude and sleep until noon like I would normally do after a closing shift. I let out a groan as I stretch out my arms and arch my back, attempting to wake up the rest of my body.

I hear footsteps coming down the hall, and I secretly hope that they just keep going because they sound little, and it’s just too early to deal with kids.
I have no idea how real moms do it
.

I stare at the door as I hear the handle start to turn; as the door creaks open I see a little head peek in.

“Yep, she’s awake!” Emma shouts

She swings the door open completely, crosses her arms on her chest and pops her hip, all while staring me down.
Great.
I can’t wait to hear what will come out of her little mouth next.

“You should get up so we can eat.
Some
of us have been up since eight o’clock waiting for you to get up, so that
we
can have a nice morning breakfast together” she says in her little girl snotty mini tantrum kind of way

“Well, excuse me. I had to work last night and didn’t get to bed until four in the morning.” I say in return, using a calm but clearly annoyed tone.

“Well then you should have gone home,” Emma sneers and stomps away, calming her steps as she gets closer to the kitchen.

Bash comes in a few moments later with a big smile on his face. He leans up against the doorframe, crosses his arms, and continues to smile while watching me.

“What are you smiling about?” I ask with an equally big smile growing on my face.

“I like you waking up here.” He walks over to give me a quick kiss.

“Well, I should probably get up. Seems as if someone is not happy she had to wait to eat.” I say, masking my annoyance.

“Oh don’t worry, she will be just fine. She has been taste-testing everything anyway. I’m surprised she is still hungry.” He replies with a laugh.

I sit up and stretch out my arms out one more time before I toss the covers off of me and get out of bed to find my pants. Bash headed back to the kitchen, suggesting that I get dressed to join them. I didn’t hear Emma come back in the room, so I can imagine her surprise when she enters just as I’m bending over to grab my jeans, wearing just a t-shirt and a thong.

“I’m blind! I’m blind!” Emma shouts.

I turn, just in time to see her cover her eyes and run out of the room, banging into the walls as she runs down the hall.

I shake my head and sit back down on the bed, faceplalming for good measure.

Crap!

Double Crap.

Why me?

THE MEAL TOGETHER GOES AS expected: a delicious array of breakfast foods with a side of dirty looks from Emma, questioning my choice of underwear. She said things like,
where was the rest of it
, and
why is my ass so white?

After doing the dishes, we sit down in the living room where the deer head now seems to be judging me. I slyly whisper, “
Stop it, at least I didn’t end up on the wall with you.
”

The afternoon takes an
awesome
turn when Emma asks if we can go to the haunted corn maze tonight. Bash of course thinks it’s a great idea, and convinces me that it will be really fun.

Oh yeah
. People dressed up, hiding in the corn, just waiting for the perfect moment to jump out and scare the shit out of you, before retreating back into the corn to wait for their next victim. That sounds super fantastic.
Not
. He finally wears me down and I agree to go, excusing myself to take a shower.

By dusk we are in the car, heading to West Salem for the sure to be entertaining evening. Why a seven-year old wants to be scared half to death is beyond me. When I was a kid, I was more worried about what my costume was going to be and how much candy I was going to get on Halloween.

The line to get in is growing, and I anticipate more meaningless questions from the peanut gallery while waiting in line, but before we get to the back, Emma notices the barn and the music coming from it.

“Bash, what’s that in there?” Emma asks.

“Looks like a party,” Bash responds.

“Can we go in and see?” Emma asks with a cute little smile that is she to guarantee a
yes.

“Sure, why not? Looks like fun!” Bash says enthusiastically.

Bash grabs my hand and drags me to the barn.
Why oh why did I agree to this?
Why can’t we just be back at his house, watching some movie and waiting for Emma to fall asleep so that maybe I can sneak in a quickie with Bash tonight?

As we approach the barn doors, we hear the DJ announce that there are only five more minutes to sign up for the dance competition. With that, Emma goes wild, frantically asking Bash if she can join in. Bash finds it hilarious that she wants to do it, and agrees. Emma then looks at me, and asks me to join her. Yay!
Ugh
. I was about to say no, but with Bash standing there, nodding his head encouragingly, I hardly had a choice. He wants so badly for Emma to like me.

As we rush up to the stage, Emma gives the DJ our names and asks our ages. Emma blurts our names and that she’s seven excitedly, but then pauses, giving me a look to answer the question. I tell him I’m twenty-four. The DJ writes it down and then gives me an awkward look, but I don’t think about it long enough to pay close attention to it.

Five minutes later, as he calls the names of the contestants, I finally understand his look. It’s a dance competition for kids.
Are you freaking kidding me
? I hesitate, trying to plot my escape back to Bash, but Emma is now pulling at my arm, screaming at me to go with her to the dance floor. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I’m mortified, but there is nothing I can do.
This is for Bash
, I tell myself.

As the music starts, some random boy band plays though the speakers, and the little kids start to flap their arms and do things that I’m sure they think are dance moves. I stand there for a moment, my face surely the color of a pomegranate by now, but finally decide,
fuck it
. I may as well make the best of the situation.

I start off with some Rodger Rabbit action, proving that the kids will have some stiff competition coming their way with me. Next, I fall into the sprinkler, and start the mower with enthusiasm.
I’m looking damn good right now
. The adults are cheering, I assume for their own kids, but the ones without kids must surely be cheering for me, right?

As I break into the running man, I scan the dance floor for Emma and can’t find her. I look again, thinking that she must be lost in the sea of short people. I still can’t find her.
Where the hell is she?
I look toward Bash to see if he can find her, but I soon realize that there is no need to panic because the little she-devil is standing right next to him.

He is laughing uncontrollably, presumably at me, while she is just standing there with her arms crossed, a satisfied little grin on her face. She did this on purpose.
Fine, she wants to play dirty? I’m gonna win this thing and show her.

The song is coming to an end, so I think fast and pull out all the stops: moon walk, jazz hands, the monkey, the funky chicken, the mashed potatoes. For my grand finale, I end with the all-time great, the cabbage patch.

As I stand there, out of breath, everyone starts to clap and cheer. The DJ is talking to someone that I can only assume is another judge. I smile and wave and take my bow, as if this was a Broadway play and I am the star.

As the DJ grabs his microphone, I look back at Bash and Emma, giving them my thumbs up with a huge smile. The DJ calls our attention, and starts his little award ceremony.

“Well, we had some great dance moves happening out there tonight, but there is really only one clear winner. Unfortunately, she didn’t qualify due to her age, so the winner is little Miss Evie. Evie is five years old, and wins a coupon for a free hot dog, chips, and a soda at the concession stand. Congrats, Evie!”

Shit!
I did all that for nothing. Well, I can’t really blame the DJ, though. I mean it wouldn’t really be right to give me the prize when it was supposed to be only for kids. I can feel my face turn bright red, with all the eyes on me. I see people staring and whispering to each other as they laugh and clap.
Someone please kill me now and put me on the wall next to that damn deer already, will you?

As I walk back to join Bash and Emma at the back of the barn, I see Bash doing a slow, dramatic clap as I approach.
Yippy skippy for me, I made an ass of myself again
. Bash grabs my hand and escorts us out of the barn, toward the line for the maze.
Can this night get any worse?

Why yes, it can. After my dancing debut, we wait in line for the corn maze. Emma kept busy by reenacting as many of my dance moves as she could. It was pretty much all she talked about. An hour later, we are finally at the head of the line, waiting for our turn to enter.

As the gatekeeper lets us pass, Emma jumps out into the lead and goes skipping ahead, announcing that she is coming. Of course, all of the goblins and scary creatures wait for Bash and I to round the corner before doing their little scary routine. All was going pretty well, with just a few little gasps of breath until we reach the end. Emma was now standing between Bash and I, when some masked villain jumps from the corn, right at me. I grab Emma and thrust her toward him as I scream bloody murder, running for the exit.

When I reach the exit, I notice that I’m there alone. I look back to see Bash, kneeling down and consoling a terrified Emma.
Fucking hell, did I really just do that?
Did I just toss a child ahead of me, into the arms of an unknown assailant that would have killed her, had he been real?
Fuck me sideways
. I am so in the wrong, and I know I’m gonna have to go back and apologize to her, even though I’m sure she is loving each and every second of this.

“Oh my god, Emma, I’m so sorry. I really didn’t mean to do that. He caught me off guard, and I, I-” I try to explain myself, but who am I kidding? It was just so wrong.

“Sasha, it’s fine. She is ok, just a little scared.” Bash informs me in a stern tone.

“Emma, I am so sorry, I really am. I have no idea what I was thinking.” I say in my best apologetic tone. I really
am
sorry.

“I’m fine, it’s ok” she says looking down in a mild tone

As we start walking back to the car there isn’t much conversation. Bash walks looking straight ahead with Emma curled up in his arms. I feel like such a bad person. I mean who does that?

As we get to the car, Bash sets Emma down to get his keys, and that is when I see it. She looks right at me then sticks out her tongue, wiggling her hips as if that would hurt me in some way.