Sasha (Mixed Drinks #1) (5 page)

He smiles at me, and I mean to say, “Sorry about that, my friend Matt is kind of a joker, but his timing is always a little off.”

What actually comes out is more like, “Sum sowry I um Matt, um yeah,” I’m sure I turn a bright shade of red when his friends start laughing uncontrollably. But to my surprise, my Stallion Man doesn’t.

He looks at me like I was speaking another language, and he is desperately trying to translate the words that just fell out of my mouth.
I’m mortified again!
I mean, come on! this is ridiculous. If this keeps up, I will have to just throw in the towel and put him in my
missed opportunities
pile.

Oh fuck
. I need to recover and fast. I shake my head quickly, as if to clear it of my insanity, and try again.

He gifts me with a cute little smirk of a smile, and turns away from his friends so that he is fully facing me now.

With that, I relax a little.
But OMG, what do I say next?
I have to say something; I can’t just stand here and stare at him.

“No problem. I assumed your boyfriend just didn’t like seeing you talking to some random guy,” he blurts out, looking directly into my eyes.

“Who? Matt? No! He is not my boyfriend; he’s my friend Megan’s boyfriend.” I say, smiling.

His eyes widen, and his left eyebrow raises just a little as he smiles back at me. I’m still mesmerized by his gorgeous brown eyes. They are the color of caramel, and I could look into them all day if I wouldn’t be considered a creepy stalker chick.

“Oh, so which one is
your
boyfriend?”

I smile and wonder,
if he is probing me, does that mean he is interested?
I see him waiting for my answer, and I think I might even see a hint of anticipation in his eyes.

“I actually don’t have a boyfriend. I’ve recently returned to the world of the single life, where I get to sift through all the losers I meet to find that one special guy who will entertain me for a little while before he ends up being a total asshole-”

He is looking at me with a confused expression as I ramble on like a mime who just realized,
they can actually talk
. But, do I stop? Nooooooo, I just keep on spewing my word vomit.

“...Then I get to stay up all night long eating ice cream, wondering where all the good guys are, and why I have been so lucky. I’m sorry, but if these guys think they will ever find someone with such nasty-ass habits, they are delusional…”

I take a deep breath as if to continue my little rant, and then I drop my jaw and think,
what the fuck am I saying? Shut the hell up!
It’s like I can’t control anything coming out of my mouth right now. I have never been the babbling idiot type, but yet here I am, spewing verbal diarrhea left and right, which will probably ensure that I will never get the chance to really know the Stallion Man.

He realizes that I have finally stopped talking, and I’m sure that I am once again turning bright red from major embarrassment. He starts to laugh, and I have a brief thought of running for the hills to become a hermit, never to be seen again.

“Wow, you must have been holding that in for a while,” he says while still laughing. “Thanks for that. I needed a good laugh.”

I’m not sure how to come back from this.
Is he being an asshole by laughing at me?
I mean, I’m sure he can’t help it. I would probably do the same thing if some guy said this to me. But he doesn’t seem to be running scared from my wildly random too-much-information rant
Maybe he is just trying to make me feel better?
“Oh! My! God! I am so sorry. I have no idea what came over me. I do not normally just babble and rant to guys I barely know. I think I’m a little bit nervous.”

“Nervous? Why are you nervous?” He has stopped laughing now, and is giving me that look of anticipation again.

I probably shouldn’t say,
Oh because you and I have been having a ‘fuck-friends’ relationship in my dreams and daytime fantasies, and I’m not sure you will be able to live up to my expectations. Or better yet, you will be everything I think you are and more, and I’m not sure I’m ready for that kind of pleasure.
Or maybe you were just about to reject me altogether.

Yeah, probably should not lead with that. But now I have been standing here too long, and I have to say something
. Fuck It. Let’s go for the gold
.

“Well, since last Sunday, I have been thinking about you a lot and how we didn’t get a chance to really meet each other.” I say quickly, as if I was ripping off a Band-Aid. Like that is supposed to make it hurt less, even though those fuckers sting no matter what you do.

I stare at him sweetly and hope it is not too much information and not too needy or anything. He hasn’t really said anything, so I give him a cute smile, my heart pounding.
Why isn’t he saying anything?
Oh, wait.
Do I see a hint of blush on him?

Oh shit, I totally got him to blush. No, wait.
Oh shit, mother fucker, here it comes. He is about to tell me that he has a girlfriend but that he is flattered or some stupid crap like that
.

As he gets ready to speak the words that I really don’t want to hear, he gives me a smile, as if that is supposed to soften the blow. Why can’t he just be a full-on asshole, so I can walk away and go back to Megan and Sadie to tell them what a dicknosed fuck-knob he is?

He opens his mouth and says slowly, “Well that is good to hear, because I have been thinking about you, too.”

HOLY SHIT, HE HAS BEEN thinking about me!
The stallion,
My Stallion
, has been thinking about me! Me, just an average girl, with nothing special going on to call attention to. I can feel my face turn bright red yet again as my mind starts in on another fantasy, but I pull back to the present and realize that I’m not sure how I should respond. I mean, has he been thinking about me the way I have been thinking about him? Has he had hot, almost-sex with me in his dreams? Has he imagined how it would feel to touch me, kiss me and be inside me, as I have been dreaming?
If he has even had one of these thoughts, why in the hell didn’t he try to get a hold of me? He may not have had my name or number, but he sure knew where I worked, for fuck’s sake.

As I’m just about ask those very questions, I hear Megan and Sadie calling my name.
Fuck a monkey’s uncle!
What Now? Why now? Can’t they leave me alone? They can most definitely see that I’m still talking to the hot guy from the bar. I mean, I just need long enough to find out in what way he has been thinking about me.
Is that too much to ask?
Well, after, that I may need a few more minutes to work up the nerve to throw myself into his arms and let him make all of my fantasies come true, though
how
has yet to be determined.

I’m just about to turn and give them the unmistakable
go away
look when I hear them yell, “Sasha, come on, the guys busted out the beer bong. It’s freaking hilarious, they are trying to beer bong while doing some headstands and other stupid shit,” Megan shouts.

I turn back to look at Stallion Man and ask, “So I guess there is some cheap entertainment going on down the beach. Would you like to join us?”

The stallion looks back at his friends, and I think he is about to look back at me to decline when he says, “Hey guys, beer bong is happening down the beach. Grab the cooler and let’s go.” He looks back at me with a cool smile. “I’m game if you are,” he adds with a wink.

As we start to walk down the beach toward the fun, I find that I am relieved that our little awkward moment has passed. In fact, I might actually be kind of grateful for the interruption from my friends. I’m not sure how I was about to respond to him, and knowing how this day has gone for me so far, I think this will be a better way to go about things. It will lighten the mood, and give me a chance to spend more time with him before I give him the
third degree on the ins and outs of his thoughts regarding me.

As we approach Matt and Will and the small crowd that has gathered, I can hear chanting. “DO IT, DO IT, DO IT, DO IT, yeah!”

We arrive just in time to see the aftermath of the X-rated version of beer bonging that has erupted.

A bare-breasted hot chick is holding the bong in her fake-titty cleavage, letting the beer wash over her into the guy’s mouth. He has nestled his face, motorboat-style, attempting to use the gigantic melons to direct the beer into his mouth.

Of course, more beer ends up running down the rest of her body and onto the ground than in into his mouth. Even so, I’m gonna go out on a giant limb here and say I’m pretty sure that he doesn’t care that much about the beer. As I stare into the nearly naked madness, I’m trying my best not to go into freak out mode. I invited Stallion Man over for some beer bonging, not an NC-17 peepshow with an orgy on the side. The way this is going, we are sure to have pussies drowning in beer, and dudes going crotch snorkeling at any moment.

At this point, there is so much sex-related activity happening that I’m not even sure that I can look at My Stallion. I would hate for me to take one extra long look into his eyes, then start ripping off my swimming suit, grab a beer, and then pour it all over me, and saying something like,
Lick it off me until I come, NOW!
Yeah, that might not be the best way to let him know I’m really not crazy.

I suddenly feel him looking at me, probably silently thinking that I might be an easy lay if this is how I party it up.
Oh my god, I’m going to have to look at him now
. What could I say that will let him know that I’m not a slut-bag? Ok fine, that I’m not an easy slut-bag. I’ve had my share of guys, although my number is not so horribly high that I would lie about it; at least not too much.

I finally look up at my brown-eyed stallion. “Well, I guess they should have been charging admission. I wasn’t aware that there was going to be an NC-17 show today.” He looks back toward the crowd with a shit-eating grin on his face.
What the hell does that mean?
Most guys I know would have at least offered a smartass remark to follow mine. All I get is his shit smirk. Well, maybe that means Miss-S
uck-On-My-Tatas-While-Beer-Runs-Down-Me
is more his type. Now don’t get me wrong, I have had my turn at flashing

strangers. However, I’m not about to let some dude suck on my areolas in front of a crowd; I do have some morals.

As we watch some newcomers do a couple standard (and a few more NC-17) beer bongs, the Stallion and I start to make small talk. About how awesome the beach is today, and how nice it was running into each other. After awhile, a little bit if soft flirting starts to sneak its way into the conversation. I have to admit, I’m still shocked that he has even taken our conversation thus far. I mean, he can’t actually be interested in me. He is probably just entertaining me in a completely platonic,
concerned that my grandpa almost accosted your friend
kind of way. However, the flirting is giving me hope that maybe he will make at least one of my fantasies come true. I’m just about to step my flirting up a notch when Will comes over with the beer bong and hands it to the stallion.

“Your turn man, show us what you got. The record stands at four beers,” Will tells him.

Stallion Man takes the bong and hands it to me. “Ladies first,” he says with a big smile.

“Oh, um, I don’t actually drink beer.” I blush as I say this because even I can hear how ridiculous it sounds, given my original invitation to the activity at hand.

He looks as me still smiling and says, “Well, that’s too bad. I find it pretty sexy to watch a girl doing a beer bong. It means they might be able to handle some other things.”

I raise an eyebrow and smirk at him.
So that’s how it’s going to be, huh?
Ok, I’ll show him what I can
handle
.

“I always aim to please, so allow me to demonstrate my abilities.” I say, with flirtation in my tone.

I snatch the beer bong from his hand, walk over to the cooler, and open the lid. I quickly pull three bottles out of the cold ice, then turn to hand them to Megan. She gives me a look that says
are you sure about this?
I give her a nod and grab the plastic tubing of the beer bong. Taking my stance, I glance over at the stallion with my best
check me out
look, and put the tube in my mouth. Megan begins to pour in the first wine cooler, and I feel the cold liquid hit my tongue. I start swallowing the fizzy wine cooler as fast as I can to keep up.

I’m only about half way through the first bottle when I realize that this might not have been the awesome idea I had envisioned. I can feel the fizzy alcohol bubbling in my stomach, and I know this can only end badly. I finally finish the third wine cooler, and as the crowd cheers for the completion of my abnormal choice of beverage for the bong, I can feel the fizz again, making its way back up my throat. I’m not about to embarrass myself yet again today, so I give a little wave to my newfound fans and start to walk away.

I can see the stallion watching me the whole time, with a giant smirk on his face. I can only imagine what he’s thinking, and I so wanted to go over there and ask for his opinion of my skills. Except that at this time I feel that would be a mistake, given my currently progressing condition.