“Hello,” she said and went upstairs, saying, “Sorry, it was just my mom.”
While Karen didn’t appreciate Elana’s sassiness, she figured she’d deal with it later; one drama at a time.
Mark hadn’t texted her back—to be expected. She knew him well and knew he liked to avoid conflict, which was probably how he’d managed to stay married to Deb for so long. As Karen flashed back to her and Deb on the floor of the restaurant, clawing at each other’s faces, she had a surreal moment, thinking,
Was that really
me? She was probably still in shock, she realized. She had no idea why Deb was so convinced that something was going on between her and Mark, but she needed Mark to set her straight because she couldn’t have a scene like today happen ever again. Karen worked at an elementary school, for God’s sake; she had a reputation to protect. There were several members of the country club who had kids at her school and, thank God, they hadn’t been at the club today, and Karen was glad Jill hadn’t been there either. Jill was a friend, but Karen didn’t want
anyone
she knew to see such an ugly side to her.
Still no response from Mark. She imagined he was panicked, overwhelmed, trying to figure out how to deal with his out-of-control wife and appease Karen at the same time. Mark was the type of guy who liked the status quo, who wanted things to be
okay
, but Karen wasn’t about to feel sorry for him.
Karen went into the living room and did some light stretching and then got into a few yoga positions—Plank, Pyramid, Mountain. This usually relaxed her, but she had too many worries, and it barely had an effect. She had her phone near her on the floor and when there was a chime indicating an incoming text, her heart raced, as she thought it was Mark but then she saw “Steven” on the display. Then she saw the message—
Can we talk for a sec when you have a chance?—
and she thought, great, that was all she needed now—drama with a guy she’d just broken up with. She had no idea what Steven wanted, but after she ended the relationship with him just last night she didn’t think he should be texting her the next day.
In Downward Facing Dog, Karen contemplated the Steven situation for a while, then her anxiety drifted back to Deb—what exactly had gotten her so suspicious and paranoid lately? Karen couldn’t think of any particular conversation they’d had, but last night at the Lerners’ dinner party, Deb had definitely been acting weird.
And then it hit—God, it was so obvious, she couldn’t believe she hadn’t caught on sooner. Deb had been acting odd at the Lerners because that was where the misunderstanding had happened. During dinner, Karen had excused herself and gone to the bathroom. When she came out, Mark was there, waiting—the way he seemed to accidentally run into her lately. He seemed serious, concerned about something, and said, “Come on, I need to talk to you for a second.” Karen, a little uncomfortable, just wanted to return to the dinner table, but she wanted to make sure that he was okay. So she went with him outside to the garden and stopped and asked, “What is it?” and he’d said, “Come on.” Again she resisted her instincts and went with him toward the pool and asked, “What’s going on?” and he said, “So what do you think?” and she asked, confused, “Think about what?” and he said, “The Lerners. Are they out-of-control pretentious, or what?” Wait, so this was why he’d led her out here, to
gossip
? She’d said something like, “We should go inside,” or maybe, “Let’s talk about this later.” And that was when it happened. She didn’t even know what exactly was going on until a few seconds later, because she had been caught so off-guard. Then she was surprised because it was so “un-Mark.” He’d been a good friend to her for years, but he’d never held her hand, and it wasn’t just the hand holding. It was the way he was gazing at her, romantically, looking at her lips. She said, “Um, what are—” and, as if snapping out of it, he said quickly, “Sorry, sorry. I guess we should go back inside.”
That was the end of it, and Karen hadn’t given it much thought afterward because it really hadn’t seemed like a big deal. He’d held her hand for maybe five seconds tops and, on the way in, back to the party, he’d seemed almost embarrassed about it. She figured he’d had a couple of drinks, got a little too flirty with an old friend—what was the big deal? But that was exactly when Deb’s attitude had changed, when they got
back
to the table. So Deb must have seen them. Maybe she’d gotten up to go to the bathroom herself, or was looking for Mark, but she must have looked out through the patio door at the moment Mark had held her hand, and that was why she’d jumped to a completely wrong, ridiculous conclusion.
Now Karen was angrier with Mark because, even if he had nothing to do with Deb getting a wrong idea, he must have known, or at least sensed, what his wife was upset about, and had blatantly lied, telling her that everything was fine and it had nothing to do with her, when it had everything to do with her.
Karen’s phone chimed, a text from Mark:
So so sorry, sweetie!
Sweetie? Was he fucking serious?
Pulse pounding, she hit back with:
Please stop calling me sweetie!!
Then added:
And erase these texts!!!
Several seconds later she got:
Erased!!
Then:
So so sorry, but don’t worry, it’ll all be okay
Then:
Promise!
Calmness was officially out of the question now. Her anger was dominating, controlling her. She texted:
It is not okay! You have to talk to her immediately, tell her absolutely nothing is going on with us!!
Maybe a minute later she got:
Done babe! Already talked to her! Will all be okay, trust me!
Karen didn’t trust him and didn’t even believe he’d spoken to Deb. Mark was wimpy and spineless, especially when it came to his relationship with his wife.
She fired back:
You better talk to her, or I’m going to talk to her myself. I won’t get sucked into your drama, Mark! I won’t!! And don’t call me babe!!!
She had a feeling this would get through to him. The last thing he probably wanted was her and Deb getting into an ongoing fight about this, which would make his life at home even more difficult. Sure enough she got back a meek:
ok
The rest of the afternoon, Karen did her best to put the situation out of her mind. She did chores—laundry, some straightening up. She didn’t hear anything further from Mark, but she got another text from Steven:
r u around today?
Now she was certain that Steven wasn’t acting appropriately—texting her
twice
after a breakup? She wasn’t sure how to respond,
if
she should respond, and definitely didn’t feel like dealing with it today. Then she checked her email and got a nice note from Richard the dentist, asking her if she wanted to talk on the phone or get together sometime. She didn’t respond, but planned to later, when she felt more settled.
This whole being single, dating thing had been fun for a while, but not so much lately. Maybe if she lived in the city, she would’ve felt differently, but in Westchester there seemed to be a giant spotlight on her all the time—she was a single, divorced woman,
the
single, divorced woman. Dinner last night at the Lerners’ had been an exception; she’d been excluded from many social events that couples were usually invited to, and even her close female friends—mainly moms of her kids’ friends—whom she’d gotten close to while she was married, had left her off of guest lists recently. The country club was the worst as there were only a few single, divorced female members, and it was hard not to feel self conscious, especially when she was around happily married people. She could get over her insecurities, but she was getting tired of being alone and shopping for men on the Internet. Besides, dating was a huge time suck, and she’d rather spend that time with her family and with someone she loved.
After laundry, she whipped up a quick dinner for the kids—macaroni and cheese and a salad. When she called them downstairs, Matthew immediately came to the table. He was excited about the sleepover party tonight with a few others boys at Andrew Waxman’s house, and he was gobbling his dinner up, as if figuring the sooner he finished, the sooner he’d get to see all of his friends. Elana didn’t come down right away, and Karen had to call for her a few times before she finally sashayed into the kitchen in a tight red strapless dress and high heels. Karen thought the dress was way too sexy, even borderline slutty.
“Wow, that’s some dress,” Karen said, letting the implication linger.
“Thanks,” Elana said, texting somebody.
“Please put the phone away, it’s rude,” Karen said.
“Sorry,” Elana said. Then, glancing at the plate of food on the table, added, “I’m not hungry.”
“It’s not healthy to skip meals,” Karen said.
Karen didn’t think Elana was anorexic but had been concerned about her weight for some time. Especially the last few months, Elana’s body—in particular her arms and shoulders—looked bonier.
“I had lunch,” Elana said.
“What did you have?” Karen asked.
“Yogurt and a piece of fruit.”
“That’s not enough.”
“That’s what
you
have for lunch.”
This was true, but Karen said, “You didn’t have enough breakfast either.”
“I’ll eat at the party.”
“I want you to eat now.”
Elana sighed and said, “Fine, but there’s no way I’m eating all those carbs.”
She joined Matthew—who was busy gobbling down his food—at the table.
Karen watched her take a few bites of salad, mostly lettuce, then asked, “Are you comfortable wearing that?”
Confused, Elana asked, “What?”
Karen’s look explained it.
“Oh,” Elana said. “It’s cotton.”
“No, I mean are you comfortable with that outfit?”
“I look sexy.”
“But don’t you think you look
too
sexy?”
“How can you look too sexy?”
“Please change into something else.”
Shaking her head, Elana continued eating her salad.
“Done,” Matthew announced and stood up. “Can I play Xbox?”
“No, we have to leave for Andrew’s party soon.”
Matthew left the room, sulking.
“What was I doing?” Karen asked herself. “Right, loading the dishwasher.”
Karen did some more chores in the kitchen and around the house and when she returned Elana had finished her salad and some of her mac and cheese. She checked the garbage to see if Elana had tossed some of the food, but all seemed clear.
“Okay, a few more bites and you can go change,” Karen said.
She glanced at her phone and remembered that she owed Richard an email, so she opened the Match app and, keeping it simple, wrote that she’d love to chat on the phone sometime or get together and sent him her number. She remembered how Mark had bashed Richard earlier. Was he trying to protect her, or was he just jealous? The idea of Mark getting jealous would have seemed crazy just twenty-four hours ago, but after what had happened at the Lerners’ last night and at the country club today, it made Karen question his intentions all along. All those times he’d helped her with divorce and financial issues, was he actually
hitting
on her?
The doorbell rang. Karen opened the door and saw Riley Berman there in a flimsy black dress, so short most of her butt cheeks were exposed. Well, it didn’t seem like there was much great parenting going on in
that
household.
“Hey,” Riley said. “I just texted Elana from my friend’s car.”
Karen glanced toward an idling Honda and Sabrina Feldman at the wheel, busy texting.
“I’m here,” Elana said in the monotone she spoke in when she was angry.
Elana was behind Karen and had just come downstairs in jeans, heels, and a nice tank.
“Much better,” Karen said.
But Elana ignored this, saying to Riley, “C’mon, let’s go,” as she headed toward the car.
“I want you home by eleven the latest,” Karen said to their backs, “and you better keep your phone on.”
Karen’s phone chimed—she didn’t recognize the number on the display.
She tapped, said, “Hello?”
“Karen?” A man’s voice.
She didn’t know who it was, said tentatively, “Yes?”
“Richard Gross from Match.”
“Oh, hello,” she said, trying to sound upbeat.
“Hope I didn’t get you at a bad time,” he said.
“No, I’m just getting my kids out, but it’s not a bad time at all.”
Sitting on the living room floor in a half lotus, she chatted with him for a while. He was charming, had a good sense of humor, and seemed genuinely interested in her and her career. He suggested meeting for dinner on Tuesday at an Italian restaurant in New Rochelle and Karen said that sounded like a wonderful idea.
A few minutes later, in the car on the way to the sleepover at Andrew’s, positive feelings about Richard had overwhelmed negative feelings about Mark and Deb. Today’s drama, and the whole situation, seemed so meaningless. So Mark had a crush on her, and Deb had exaggerated the situation in her head and things had gotten a little out of control. What was the big deal?