Savage Silence: A Dire Wolves Mission (The Devil's Dires Book 4) (6 page)

Ariel sat stock-still as his fingers brushed the back of her hand. The touch didn’t last long, but it was a major step forward. The spark it sent up his arm, the way it caused Ariel’s skin to flush, was more than he could have hoped for. And still, he knew better than to push for more. But before he could completely back away, she flinched, and his heart died a little bit.

“I’m sorry,” he said, pulling away. Pissed at himself for pushing her too far.

Ariel shook her head, her shoulders hunching, her arms coming up to hang on to the opposite biceps as if hugging herself again. Or holding together the pieces left behind. “I just… I don’t like to be touched.”

“I understand.” He inched back farther, giving her space until the stiff set to her shoulders softened. “The mating haze will make that difficult on you.”

“I know,” she whispered, her voice shaking. “And I’m terrified.”

A kick to the gut, but one he had to push away. That fear wasn’t about him; not really. This was about Ariel and her past, and Thaus being uncomfortable or feeling pain at her truth wasn’t something he needed to express. His mate deserved to feel safe in their relationship, to know she could tell him anything without him turning the attention to himself. He needed to be a good man to help her through this and a strong wolf to keep her safe.

Thaus ducked his head, capturing her gaze with his own. “I would never push you. I would never take from you.”

But Ariel didn’t look convinced. “You’ve said that.”

“I mean it. Every time.”

Quieter, softer…more honest than ever. “It’s hard to take your words seriously.”

“Well, you can. You’re safe with me.” He slowly rose to his feet, sensing she needed space. Hating that she did. “I need to secure the perimeter and get the other two windows open so I can scent anyone coming.”

Ariel completely curled in on herself, hugging her knees to her chest and staring at the floor once again, refusing to meet his eyes. A move that might as well have been a direct hit to his heart. One hard to ignore. But he was strong, so he left her to her thoughts. Gave her the space she needed in that moment.

As he walked toward the back bedroom, though, her little voice broke the silence.

“Thaus?”

“Yeah?” He didn’t turn around. Didn’t risk scaring her by moving too fast or pinning her with his gaze.

“You really mean it? You won’t…push me?”

He wished he could go back and kill those fucking bastards again. And again. Burn them alive, put them back together, and do it a second time. A third. Forever. “Not a single step. When it comes to you and me, we go at your pace.”

“And if my pace is slower than a snail?”

He coughed a small laugh, risking a peek over his shoulder. “Then we enjoy the journey.”

T
he mating
imperative and resulting haze were no joking matter. As a doctor, Ariel had seen the effect on shifters a number of times. The blank stares, the flushed skin, the obvious desire pulsing between newly mated couples. She’d stupidly thought the fact that she hadn’t sought out affection in years, had actually rejected it, would mean she wouldn’t be as affected by the pounding need to join with her mate and claim each other with their bodies.

She was so bloody wrong.

Ariel paced the living room, unable to sit still ever since the conversation with Thaus had ended. Ever since he’d…touched her. And by the gods, she swore she could still feel that spark of electricity from the tips of his fingers. Every inch of her was suddenly attuned to Thaus’ position. Every ounce of her attention dragging her thoughts back to him. One touch, one conversation, and that pull had shifted to a need, all because the man seemed…nice.

But
nice
completely underplayed Thaus. The word wasn’t strong enough, kind enough, rough enough, or soft enough. She didn’t know if there
was
a word to describe such a person. He wasn’t at all what she’d expected. Well, not around her, at least. He’d been brutal with Alpha Chilton but completely calm and reassuring with her. He seemed so large, so menacing, yet he’d been nothing but a gentleman. And the quiet way he simply moved about his life, staying close to her but never pushing her outside of her safe zone, was all the more intriguing.

Fear was a bitch with teeth, though. It held her back, stifling her need, creating a push-pull inside of her she didn’t know how to conquer. Fear of touch, fear of being overpowered again, fear of losing control, fear of what was coming for both of them. Ariel had been living in a virtual bubble of assumed safety since she’d joined the Kwauhl pack, hiding away in the woods and avoiding anything scarier than the occasional raccoon in the trees outside her cabin. Now, she was on the run, chased by the Glaxious pack, and mated to a man who looked as if he could destroy half the world without even trying.

Bubble officially burst.

“Can you shoot?” Thaus asked, bringing Ariel to a stumbling stop in the middle of the room.

“What?”

Thaus, knife in hand from where he was prepping something to cook in the open kitchen, cocked his head. Those light eyes locked on hers, and she was gone. The heat that look sent flying through her veins was delicious and terrifying all at once. There was no avoiding it.

“I asked if you can shoot.”

“You mean guns?”

An almost-smile appeared. “Yeah.”

“Sort of. I’m no Annie Oakley, but I know how to aim and pull the trigger.”

Thaus nodded, dropping his gaze back to the cutting board. “Good. There are weapons at your disposal here. I’ll make sure you have everything you need for when they come.”

Mating imperative or not, the reality of their situation was not something to be ignored. “You really think Glaxious will hunt us down?”

“Yes, but we have a little time. My guess is they’ll run after your pack for a bit before doubling back to track us.”

“That won’t take long.”

“No, but it’ll be enough for my brothers to get here.” He nodded toward the counter stools. “Would you like to sit with me while I make lunch?”

The decision was harder than it should have been, mostly because the closer she came to the man, the more she felt the pull to join with him as mates do. But Ariel wanted to talk to him, wanted to be near that beastly man, so she agreed. She moved to the seat, noticing how he made sure to keep the counter between them. To give her space, she assumed. Something few people would have done.

“You’re curious,” Thaus said out of the blue. His simple statement took her by surprise.

“I am. How do you know that?”

“A sense, I guess.” His shoulder lifted in some sort of lazy shrug as he turned to the stove to tend one of the pans. “I sometimes feel things, energies of sorts.”

Ariel hadn’t expected
that
confession. “Like emotions?”

Thaus cocked his head, still not looking at her. “Like…predictions. I know where my pack is, not because I have a tie to them the way my Alpha has a tie to us, but because I sense their actions.”

“That has to be difficult. Carrying the weight of that responsibility.”

“I never thought about it like that, but it can definitely be a pain in the ass.” Thaus reached for a pan hanging from a rack in the air and hissed, flinching in what was obviously pain.

Ariel was up and moving before she could consider what it might mean when she reached him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” His growly, grumpy response almost made her laugh. Typical guy, it seemed.

But she’d been healing patients for too long to let an arrogant, macho man stand in her way. “I’m a doctor. Maybe I can help.”

But he just shook his head and took a step away from her. Trying to escape. The stubborn jackass. “It’s nothing, really.”

Ariel bit her lip, watching him. Weighing her options. He’d been kind enough to give her space, to keep from pushing her to do anything she didn’t want to. She couldn’t now force herself on him just because she wanted to help him. What precedent would that set? How disrespectful to his kindness would that be?

When Thaus raised an eyebrow as if he felt her emotional turmoil, she sighed. “I’m not going to push you, but how am I supposed to trust you if you won’t give me the same consideration?”

Thaus froze, staring at her with a blank expression that told her nothing of where his thoughts had gone. She refused to break that look, though. Refused to back down from him for a second. Alpha males tended to try to overpower those around them, and she wouldn’t allow that. Not this time. Medical care was her life’s work; it was something that had carried her through year after year of heartache. She could touch others to heal them so long as they kept their hands to themselves, and she wanted to help heal him. It was really the least she could do.

“Okay,” Thaus said after a long pause. Without waiting for another response, he pulled his shirt over his head and turned, placing both hands flat on the countertop and showing her his back. His very broad, very muscular, very mating-haze-inducing bare back.

And his scars.

“What is that?” she asked, lifting up onto the balls of her feet to get a better look.

“Medical intervention.” He turned, giving her the front view of the bullet hole that had probably shattered his entire shoulder joint. “My Dire brother, Levi, was sent on a mission to determine if humans were getting too close to a pack. He met his mate there, and all hell broke loose.”

“How’s that?” She wanted to touch the little rosebud scar, wanted to feel how rough it was under her fingers. Wanted to…but held herself back. That touch wouldn’t be purely medical in nature.

“The guy behind the mess convinced humans to get involved, and they brought guns.”

“Guns don’t do that to us.” Ariel took a step back, then another, and another. Escaping to the other side of the counter once more. Tucking her need away for another time.

If Thaus was upset at her retreat, he didn’t show it. He simply turned back to the pots and pans on the stove to continue cooking, albeit without a shirt on. “The humans in question? A shifter had told them about the pack in the mountains. The men were hunting the shifters, thinking those wolves were demons or something. The one who’d told them, though, was the mastermind. He’d wanted the pack Omega, my Dire brother’s new mate, and he’d set up one hell of a scheme to get her. Taste.”

“What?”

“Taste this.” He held up a spoon, twisting so she could reach it. “Please. I want to make sure you like it.”

Her instincts to escape flared, but only for a moment. Instead of a raging inferno of panic and fear, that heat was nothing more than the lighting of a match. A brief shot of adrenaline that burned off faster than she’d thought possible.

As if he knew, as if he felt her reservations, Thaus retreated slightly. He brought the spoon to his own mouth, tasting the sauce first. Giving something to Ariel she hadn’t known she’d needed.

Reassurance that she was safe.

On his second offer, Ariel let Thaus feed her a small spoonful, keeping her eyes on his. Refusing to allow her body to tremble. The sauce was delicious, something that almost surprised her. The man could cook.

“It’s good. Hot.”

“Good will work.” He pulled the spoon back and licked the red sauce from the edge, that long, pink tongue throwing static into her brain. The bastard knew what he was doing, too. He practically smirked as he dropped the spoon into the sink, grabbed a new one from the drawer, and returned to his stirring. And storytelling. “So creeper-shifter had figured out some chemical that would make shifters sort of…pass out. Knock them unconscious.”

Ariel sat back, still a little shaky from that taste. “That had to be quite the chemical compound.”

“It was.” He pulled a huge pot off the back and took it to the sink. “Did you ever try The Draught when it was being produced?”

“No.”

“Hmm. Well, that’s what your kidnappers were using to dull the mating bonds of the women they stole. Fucked up the investigation for months. And that’s sort of the base these assholes used for the knockout drug.” Steam rose as he dumped the contents of the pot into a strainer set in the sink basin. “Problem was, when I was shot, the bullet that he’d coated in the stuff lodged in my shoulder. Instead of an easy in and out, the bone grew over it, and that caused some issues.”

“How long ago was this?”

“Two years, seven surgeries, and three doctors telling me there’s nothing more to be done.” He shrugged again, wincing when he had to lift the heavy pot out of the sink. “So I grit my teeth when I shift and do my best so no one sees it.”

“And you ache when you use that shoulder too much.”

“Sometimes, but I only let it show in my den.”

Ariel looked around the space once more, eyeing the empty walls and bare windows. “This is your den?”

The look he shot her, the one of lust and heat and downright need, almost knocked her right off her stool. “Feels like it.”

It took Ariel a long few moments to regain her thought process, to remember what they’d been discussing. The heat from that one look would burn long after this conversation was done.

“So why not seek more help for that shoulder?”

“Because I’m a Dire Wolf. I’m not even supposed to be alive. We keep our secret close to the vest on purpose, so I can’t just go see any shifter doc. If they figure me out and happen to blab, my entire pack is screwed. Besides, your kind is a bit rare as it is.”

“Shifter doctors? Yeah, we are.”

He tossed a white hand towel over his shoulder and leaned against the opposite bank of cabinets. The picture of confidence and comfort. And still half naked. “What made you want to be a doctor?”

Quit staring at his abs.
“I didn’t…not really. My pack needed one. The town nearby needed one. So I went to school and fulfilled that need.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it. There was no big draw to help people or save the world. No altruistic feeling of being in service to my fellow shifters. There was a problem, and I fixed it. I wanted to stay close to my pack, to live as far from the city as I could, and being a doctor gave me the skills I needed to be able to interact with the human society around me without questions.”

“Why didn’t you go back after…” He trailed off, looking slightly uncomfortable, which explained exactly where his mind had gone. He wasn’t the first man to know her story who had no idea how to address it.

“After I escaped the rape chambers?”

The fury in his eyes practically burned her skin, and the growl that escaped him felt like sandpaper for her ears. “Yeah.”

Another shrug, another dismissal of something that she’d taken a long time to decide. “It wasn’t safe there. They’d taken me from that place; I couldn’t go back and give the bastards a second chance or risk the people I’d grown up with. So, when I escaped, I ran west. And here I am.”

Her words hung heavy between them. A living force of lies and omissions. She could have gotten into far more about her experience—the smell of the men who’d stolen her sense of self, the nights she’d lain in bed covering her ears to keep from hearing the screams of the other girls, the pure terror of her race across the country and away from everything. She could have laid everything out in front of her and let him see every brutal secret. But she wasn’t ready for that, and deep down, she didn’t think Thaus was either. So she held back, kept her language casual and dismissive. And he allowed her that.

Thaus tossed the towel on the counter and grabbed two plates, giving her time to breathe again as he turned his back to her. “Where would you like to eat?”

Ariel took a single, deep breath before resettling into herself. This was okay. This would all be okay. She could handle the current level of friendship between them so long as he kept letting her hide when she needed to. And she had no doubt he’d do that.

“Here?” She motioned to the counter when he turned back around.

“Sounds good.” He set the plates down, still keeping the counter between them. Ariel wasn’t sure that was necessary anymore. At least, she hoped not.

“You can sit next to me.” She nearly blushed when his eyebrows went up and his eyes shot to hers. “If you want to, I mean.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

“Snail’s pace…not frozen, remember?”

He smiled and grabbed his plate. “Yeah, I sure do.”

Before he came around the counter, he pulled his T-shirt back on. A travesty in Ariel’s opinion, though she didn’t voice it.

Sitting beside Thaus wasn’t nearly as awkward as she’d assumed it would be. He kept a good space between them and didn’t push her in any way. He was slow with his movements, warning her plenty before he reached for something anywhere near her. She liked it. She also hated it. She suddenly wanted him to sneak a touch in, to hold her hand or rub a finger along her cheek. She wanted for him to at least try. But she’d set the rules, and Thaus was a good enough man to follow them.